Chapter Fifty-Six
I sleep feverishly throughout the next day.
When I finally feel well enough to sit and eat, I’ve lost an entire twenty-four hours.
William tells me that his private security guard “handled” both Elizabeth and Reverend Jenkins.
I don’t know if I’ll see the reverend again.
I don’t know that I care. I’m a bit befuddled by it all.
“Those two,” William says. “Ej bekot!” He tosses back the rest of his brandy and squeezes my hand. “I knew I could believe in you.” He heads to bed. To bed, just as I’m waking.
I check Nirav’s cut. It’s deep—you can see his collarbone, which causes his breath to sizzle through his teeth when I touch it.
William’s friend Robert has cleaned it and bandaged it, and I promise a visit to the doctor for us both.
“We can afford a doctor,” I whisper to Nirav, and we giggle. He stumbles to bed, too.
“Are you tired?” Pax asks when at last we’re alone.
“Not in the least.”
We settle into deep, leather chairs, and Pax brings me a lush red wine, so velvety it’s like sipping silk.
“You’re still here.” I realize as I’m saying it, this observation is for both Daisy and Pax. That both of them have seen me at my very worst, and both of them still love me. It’s astounding.
And Pax answers for both of them: “I am. But I can’t stay long.” He sighs.
“You’re really leaving?”
Pax looks at the wine swirling in his glass. “I have to. My brother, Gavrilo—”
Spirit flashes me the same images as when I met Gavrilo at Blanck’s party. Soldiers. Bodies. Bullets. War. I cringe.
Pax’s silver-green eyes take on a faraway look. “My brother Gavrilo is involved in something big. Something menacing. I can feel it. I have to try to stop him. Gavrilo is ruthless. And… he took that gun.”
Pax is worried he might not come home, Stella.
Tears sting my eyes. “I understand. But, you’ll be back, right? And then we can—”
I trail off. We can what? We’ve never discussed anything outside of Julia’s Bureau. We, in fact, discussed parting ways after Blanck’s party.
I inhale. It does little to tamp down my burning embarrassment. But I’m his lovely thief. A merry bandit. His partner.
Pax pats his knees. “I almost forgot. I got you something.”
My heart thrills. A gift! I haven’t received a gift in years.
He pulls a small, shiny bauble from his vest pocket. He leans forward and pins it on my dress.
A diamond brooch. A simple circle of gleaming gems. Beautiful, breathtaking.
“To fill those pinholes,” he says with a smile. “The ones I noticed—”
“—in the restaurant. I remember.” I touch the circle, think of infinity.
“Filling the holes in your heart.” He’s not looking at me as he says it. “Or maybe just above it.” He rubs my knuckles with his fingertip.
“You worked all day to come up with that, didn’t you.”
“I did. It was either that or I’m running around in circles over you.”
“Hmm.”
“Yeah.”
I lean my forehead against his. “I don’t want to be obsessed with you.”
His face cocks into that irresistible grin. “Not every obsession is unhealthy, Stella.”
Can he hear my heart race?
I glance at the mirror hanging above the fireplace. We both look so small and fragile in this big, harsh, dark world. Like at any moment, one of us could simply shatter, glass on marble. A tear rolls down my cheek.
Pax leans over and wipes it off with his thumb. He smells like fresh night air and wine. “I want to be more than partners, Stella.”
“I don’t know if I can,” I whisper. “Losing a love like Daisy… I don’t know if I can live through another hurt like that.”
He leans forward and places his lips on mine. I gasp, and I realize he’s taken my breath away. Stolen it: stolen breath, stolen heart. Pax’s lips are soft and light and they taste like mint and grapefruit and wine and music and laughter and love.
He tastes like love.
Pax lifts his hands to both sides of my face and kisses me harder. I melt like candlewax.
Spirit applauds and offers us a standing ovation. Cheers and huzzahs.
He leans back. “No more lies. So here’s the truth: I can’t promise you there will be no more loss. I can’t guarantee no heartache. But I can promise you my heart, here. Now.” He taps the diamond brooch. “For what it’s worth.”
I chuckle. “Well, when I met you, your heart was valued at exactly a nickel, which you never paid. But your net worth has grown a tad since we’ve known each other.”
Pax tosses his curly, dark hair with a laugh, that deep, rich coffee laugh of his, and he kisses me again. And again.
Daisy did this.
I don’t know how she did it, but she managed it all. She gave me Pax and Nirav and Kiyoko and William. She gave me money. She gave me friends and a home. She took care of me. She’s always taken care of me.
A sob escapes me.
Pax’s face tilts, a mixture of concern and tease. “I’m not that bad a kisser, am I?”
I laugh, shake my head, and lean over to kiss him again. And again. And again. I kiss Pax. I inhale. Life. Love. All of it. All of it.
I hear music. A new tune, one with lush harmonies and a deeply happy melody. Music disappeared with Daisy and returned with Pax. Love disappeared with Daisy and returned with Pax. Pax is the dance. And I am his partner. His dance partner. His lovely thief.