28. To Date a Rockstar
TO DATE A ROCKSTAR
ALEXIA
T oday is going to be a good day. At least, I hope so.
I get to listen to the final version of my song today and we’re finally shooting the last scenes and then I get to go home! I’m so excited I can almost taste home. After spending two weeks here I’m so ready to go home. While it’s been fun here, I really miss home.
I go downstairs and find my mom on the phone with Stephan and Dexter. I say some quick heys and try walking away, but it doesn’t work. “Lexi, can you come here?” Mom asks. I turn around. “I talked to Lia and Dex about this already.”
“Okay?” I ask, glancing over at Dexter to see if his face will tell anything, but he’s looking away.
“As you know, there is going to be a retrial for Griffin, claiming he has mental issues that overpowered his ability to think clearly, and they think he is okay to slowly go back into society. He’s shown good behavior and has a kid on the way,” she explains.
“Who would have a kid with that manic?” I blurt out.
“His prison guard, apparently,” Dexter answers.
“Is she stupid or something?” I say.
“They fell in love,” Mom says.
“She’s an idiot,” I say. Who falls in love with a man who kidnapped and tried to rape his own family!
“Alexia, we need to know if you want to still stand against him or want him to be set free, of course with restrictions,” Mom says.
“I think he should stay in prison or, better yet, die,” I state.
“Is that your final answer?” Mom asks.
“Yes.”
I walk out of the kitchen, marching right out of the house. Luckily, Fez is already here. “Ready to go, Miss Kirby?” I nod in response. I have no words to say. How dare she ask me that? Why would I want that sick son of a bitch out of prison? Are they going crazy or something? First, Dad, and now my mom. I know I’m grown and so they have to ask but what the fuck.
I wish Griffin was dead. I know that’s a bad thought, and it’s not nice to wish death on people, but after all, he put me through, and that's the grace I’m giving him. If I could have it my way, he would rot alive in a hole with acid burning him slowly as a spike plunged him slowly in his anus.
I wanted to kill myself after what he did to me. I did deserve a life. I cut myself, overdosed and never let myself out of my room. I felt as if my life had been taken away from me and in some ways it had been. Now they just want to let him out all because he’s been on his best behavior and has a kid on the way. He shouldn’t even be allowed to have kids. Yet, somehow, it happened.
“Miss Kirby, we are here.” Fez cuts me from my thoughts. I look over to where his voice came from, seeing he has the door open for me.
“Thank you.” I grab my bag, feeling like I’ve probably already wasted a lot of time and make my way inside the building. I want to hurry and get this over with, so I crawl back into my bed and get this day over with.
I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be awake. “Finally!” Emerson collapses into me as I enter.
“I was beginning to worry,” she says.
“I’m here now.” I pat her back lightly.
“And just in time, let’s get you on the 22nd floor.” Emerson pulls me to the elevators as she goes on and on about how amazing the song is, and she can’t wait for me to hear it. I’m still over the moon to hear the song but I can’t find the energy to be excited anymore.
“I brought the singer!” she says as we walk in.
“Fantastic,” Mr. Ryker says. I’ve gotten out of the habit of saying Dame Ryker every time I see him. I’m still starstruck but I’m working on it.
“Let’s have a listen, shall we?” He points to Cooper, and he plays the track. I take a seat between Gray and Charlie as the song starts. The intro plays just as I imagined it before the lyrics start, my lyrics. I truly cannot believe I’m listening to this right now.
All my worries melt away as I put myself into my music and feel it. The words, the melody, the chords. Everything I gave to have this moment right now. I made this happen. I did this. I can’t believe this. I did this! As I’m listening, I feel Gray reach over and grab my hand, locking our fingers together, which only makes butterflies erupt in my stomach and my face warms. I’m sure a blush has spread across my cheeks now. “I have our date planned tonight,” he whispers to me. I want to protest but I can’t. I have to see where this date goes. So much for staying in my room all day after this.
“So what do you think?” Cooper asks me.
“I think it’s just what I imagined,” I answer.
“Yay! I’ll let Daddy know,” Emerson says. Everyone else breaks out into cheers and Charlie hugs me.
“Time for cover art,” Mr. Ryker says.
“I actually already have a concept drawn up for that,” I say. I’ve known what I wanted this to look like for months, I just hope they like it.
“Alright, let's see it,” he says, I stand it, letting Charlie fall off me and pull out my songbook, finding the page with the drawing. I’ve had the same idea for months: the words would be in purple balloon letters with florals in the corners. Dame Ryker takes a few moments to look at it, making me nervous as his face contorts as he does.
Does he hate it?
“I can make this happen,” he says.
PopStar
Be there to pick you up at 8
I read that message at six p.m. and it’s now seven-fifteen and I’m still laying in bed. I showered when I was home, so I don’t have to do that again, but I do need to do my hair, get dressed, freshen up, and maybe put some makeup on, but I just don’t have the energy. I feel depressed and unworthy. Why should I? I'm some nobody girl from South Carolina who, after one date, probably won’t care to remember.
It’s a terrible way of thinking but who cares?
“Why are you laying on your ass when you have a date!” Lia says.
“Why are you in my room?” I ask in return.
“Because you have a date you aren’t getting ready for,” she answers. I groan, rolling over and covering myself in my blanket. I don’t feel like getting up. I want to be depressed right now.
“Get up, put this on,” Lia demands, as I feel her toss something on me. I push my blanket off me, seeing she has picked out some clothes for me. I grab the clothing pieces, looking over them and seeing she picked out a red mini skirt along with a tight-fitting short-sleeved black top to go with it.
“I thought you could wear your platform heels with it,” she tells me.
“Now that you have clothes out, you have to get up.”
I groan and roll over, getting myself out of the blankets. She’s never going to go away until I get up. “Good, now go to the bathroom and do something with yourself,” Lia tells me as she comes toward my bed and starts moving around the blankets, I’m guessing to make it. I grab the outfit and go to the bathroom to go ready. I freshen up and get dressed before brushing my hair, deciding to put some silver star clips at the top and I spray on the Sabrina Carpenter ‘SweetTooth’ perfume and apply a little makeup, and I consider myself done.
“You're just in time. He just texted saying he was about to arrive,” Lia squeals.
“Did you check my phone?” I grab it from her, opening my phone up and seeing Gray did text me about three minutes ago.
“Don’t go catching an attitude now, you wouldn’t be ready without me,” Lia says. I groan at the truth of it, I’m still not happy with the fact she opened my phone. Lia already has my shoes out, so I slip them on quickly and find my purse because I want to be ready before he gets here. I want to even give him the chance to come up to the house and knock and then my mom will get super happy because I never go out with anyone, and Lia will ask all these questions, but I don’t want that.
I hate thinking about the possibility of it even happening. I know most people would love it because it seems like the gentlemanly thing they should do, but I would give anything for him not to do that gentlemanly thing. I look down at my phone as soon as I feel it vibrate in my hand.
Popstar
I’m here, coming to the door now
Me
DON’T
I try to reply quickly but I have a feeling he didn’t see it, so I just run out of my room and try to get downstairs and outside as quickly as possible. “I was coming to you,” Gray says as I close the door.
“Yeah, well, now I’m here,” I tell him.
“We should go.”
Gray looks at me skeptically. “Why?” he asks.
“Because I personally don’t want to deal with the oh my god, she has a date thing, so can we hurry,” I say, moving faster to the car.
“Slow down, I’ll get the door for you,” he says, opening the door right before I make it to the door.
“Thank you.” I slide into the passenger seat of his black Mazda.
“So where are we going?” I ask as soon as he gets into the car.
“First, the beach,” Gray answers. The beach at night? That seems like a bit of a cold activity, and I didn’t bring a jacket.
“Why?” I ask, I need clarity on this.
“To watch the sunset.” He laughs slightly and reaches over and grabs my hand.
I don’t think I’ve ever been on a date to see the sunset. Actually, I haven’t been on much of a date before. I mean, this guy in sophomore year took me out for ice cream, but then he just wanted to make out, and I went home, and in senior year, I went on another date. It turned into a relationship that lasted two months because I wasn’t into sex because of the trauma with Griffin. “This will be fun,” he follows up with.
We will definitely see. Gray flips the radio on and a song from The MorningStars pops on. I look over at him, but he just smiles. I feel like this was planned. Nonetheless, I don’t mind it’s a good song; I love this song. It’s in my top ten. It’s ‘Sink or Swim’ by them. “Not going to make a snarky comment about me playing my own song?” he asks.
“Not today,” I answer.
We listen to a playlist of their music as we make the trip to the beach. “Alright, let’s go.” Gray reaches in the back and grabs a blanket before opening his door. I wait for him to walk around and open my door for me.
“I’m going to need to take my heels off,” I say as he opens the door.
“Got it, I’ll hold them for you,” Gray says.
“I’ll wait till we get to the sand,” I tell him. He helps me out of the car, and we make our way down the boardwalk and the sunset starts to come into view. It’s all purples, oranges, and yellows. I slip my heels off and feel the wood against the bare wood. I’m not the biggest fan of the feeling but I need to get across this bridge. The sand squishes between my toes as the coolness between my toes. Gray lays out the blanket of us and we both take a seat on it. The aroma of the ocean whiffs through the air and the colors of the sky are much brighter than before.
“It’s beautiful,” I murmur. The purples, oranges, and yellows all blend together as the clouds fade and stars emerge into the sky, brightening up everything.
“You’re a prettier view,” Gray says, and I look over at him to find him looking at me.
“Charming me now?” I raise my brow.
“Always, Astréi mou.” He brushes my hair back, tucking it behind my ear. His gray eyes gleam in the night light, making them even more beautiful. The light blue rings in his eyes seem to look even more blue right now and I seem to be getting lost in them.
“What does that mean?” I ask.
“You’ll find out one day.” He leans in, his lips brushing mine.
Our lips connect, filling my body with tingles throughout, making my whole body heat up. I lean in closer, deepening the kiss, feeling like I need more. Moving closer, he grips onto my thigh, bringing me around onto his lap. Gray looks at me as we are now face to face. I give him a skeptical look, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
“How do you feel about sensory play?”
“Explain.”
“Well, we can trace each other's bodies and if you want, take some water and lightly trace, feeling each other,” he explains.
“And this does what?”
“It helps with trust.”
“Fine. I agree but don’t pull anything weird.”
“Now lay down for me.”
Do I smell good? I hope I smell good enough for this. “You ready?” Gray asks, skimming up my thigh under my skirt.
“I promise not to do anything you don’t want. All you have to do is say stop,” Gray says, grabbing my thigh and I gasp a little at the sensation.
It takes me back to the feeling in the sound booth where I felt completely melted into him up until Charlie busted in.
“I trust you.” For the most part, I do. He's going to be really close to my body, feeling my body again. I let out a breath releasing some built-up nerves as I trace over his shoulder muscles. He’s strong and well-built. He feels amazing, like heaven. I move myself closer feeling a spark between us as I do. God, this feels good. I’ve never done anything like this.
I mean, sure, I’ve kissed people. But my first kiss was like two seconds and an accident. My second kiss was horrible, and we don’t talk about each other. I’ve never let a boy this close to me before. I’m surprised I haven’t cried yet.
Shivers and heat overtake my body as his mouth connects with the flesh on my neck as he lightly sucks that I’m sure he’s leaving marks. I grip his shoulders harder, pulling myself into him. Gray’s hands inch up my skirt to my underwear. His fingers feel cold upon my lace panty line and he runs his fingers along them. There's a deep feeling growing in my lower stomach, causing me to gasp. I’m getting a lot wetter, and the sensation is better, causing my skin to prickle a little. “You feel so good,” he whispers, kissing my neck. I lean my head over, giving him more access. I need more of this. I feel dazed. The adrenaline is pumping through me as my heart races, hearing his voice, feeling his hands and mouth on me, and it all feels too good.
I don’t even care about making it to the restaurant. I just want to do this, nothing but this.
Then it stops and I go cold, all the feelings good.
“Hold on.” He pulls out his phone. His phone! I let him go, moving off his lap.
“One second.” He turns away, placing the phone up to his ear. I look around us, trying not to feel embarrassed by what just happened. I want to cry right now, I hate this. Then something catches my attention.
In one of the watchtowers, there’s a flash going on and off, like a camera. Are we being watched right now? If so, they just saw us make out!
Gray grabs his jacket. “Gray?” I call after him, but he ignores it.
“What are you doing?” I ask, running after him, as he leaves the beach, not saying a word to me. “I have to go,” he says. “I’ll send Charlie to get you.”
“Gray, what is happening?” I ask him as he types on his phone. I feel neglected, embarrassed and confused.
“I really have to go, and I'll explain later but right now. I have to. I’ll see you soon,” he says and gives me a quick kiss on the lips before running down the bridge, then I’m left alone.
At least, I thought I was because once he’s covered in the darkness, a swarm of lights, cameras, and people start to swarm me.
GRAYSON
I rush into the hospital, and I spot Beatrix in the waiting room. “What happened?” I run over to her.
“Mom got into a car accident, now she’s unconscious and they won’t let me see her,” Beatrix explains.
“I was at a friend’s and the hospital called, I don’t know what to do.”
“I’ll be right back.” I go up to the nurse at the desk and ask to go see my mom in the back. The nurse says I can, and I explain Bea is my sister and her daughter, so she lets us both come.
She's laying in bed with a tube down her throat. There’s scratches and patches everyone. Bea breaks down running to her bedside crying so now I have to hold myself together. God I can’t lose my mom; she’s one of the only good things I have right now. She’s my only family member other than Bea. I have the band, but this is blood.
I pull Bea into my arms letting her still cry. I let her cry for a few minutes before getting ready to call Alexia when Bridgett's name pops up on my phone. What could she possibly want? I answer.
“You are brilliant, Grayson Archer!” she screams.
“What did I do?” I ask.
“The girl Alexia, you being with her and then breaking it off before she leaves, this is genius the press is eating this up!” She beams.
I’m sorry, I did what!
“And Shawn leaving Zara at her dance. He would never do that. They are loving this. Listen, we have a management meeting tomorrow with you and Shawn in the morning at ten am at Golden Star. Be there,” Bridgett says before hanging up. What the actual fuck?
I don’t know what she’s talking about, but I intend to find out tomorrow because everything she is talking about, I didn’t do any of it. Nor am I going to put up with this. Fuck the press thinks. I take a deep breath, pushing this aside. Right now, Bea and my mom are the priority, and I need to get food for Bea and make sure she is comfortable and then handle this situation tomorrow.
So much for a good day.