Chapter Six
Cash
“YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO a bridal shower?” Ivy laughed into the phone.
“I have to take whatever opportunity I can,” I responded, the leaves crunching beneath my feet on the walk to the lodge from my cabin. The sun had already set, and there was a chill in the October air.
“I take it your attempt to woo Sabrina isn’t going well?”
“That’s an understatement.” It still rankled me that Sabrina had called me a coward. I was no coward. After leaving her, I’d staved off the attempted assassination of the President of the United States and intercepted a huge shipment from China of chemicals used to make fentanyl, preventing them from getting to Mexico. There had been enough of those chemicals to dose half the world’s population. And I’d almost died during that operation. I was no coward. A jerk, yes, but no coward.
I should never have gotten involved with Sabrina, especially since I’d run into her by accident and used our first kiss as cover, thinking I was being followed. But there was just something about her and the kiss that grabbed ahold of me and made it so I couldn’t walk away. The agency had directed me to lie low for a few months in France, but Sabrina was never supposed to be part of that plan. Until ... she was. What better cover than to act as if I had a real life? I’d never meant to use her in that way, and I eased my conscience by telling myself it was just a European fling for her and another assignment for me. I rationalized that it was part of the greater good so I could ride another day and save the world. Little did I know that before our time was spent, I would have given the world to be with her, if only I could. Now here I was again, beholden to the oath I’d made to the agency to insinuate myself back into her life, knowing full well I was bound to hurt her. I hated myself for it. There was no easing my conscience this time.
“I’m sure you’ll figure out something, darling. I’ve seen you at work. Just be your charming self and use those powers of seduction I know you possess. She’ll eventually give in—they always do.”
I clenched my fist, holding my tongue. I hated that Ivy thought so little of Sabrina. Worse, I hated knowing how many women I’d used over the years to get the job done. “Yeah,” I grumbled. “Just keep a couple of agents nearby. I don’t like the way Izan looked at me or Sabrina.”
“You’re sure it’s him?”
“Yes.” There was no doubt in my mind that Soren was Izan.
“Do you think he suspects who you are?”
“I don’t think so, but something about him didn’t sit well with Sabrina, and he took note of her reaction.”
“And let me guess: you tried to play her hero.”
Unfortunately, I had. I’d done the wrong thing by going to her side. I just couldn’t stand by when I noted her discomfort, all the while knowing she had every reason to be concerned. But it was a rookie mistake. I’d let my feelings for Sabrina cloud my judgment. “Not exactly.” I refused to own up to my error—I needed to stay on this assignment. Seeing Izan near Sabrina was more of a sucker punch than I’d expected, and I wouldn’t rest until she was safe.
“You mustn’t let your personal feelings impede your judgment,” Ivy scolded.
“I got it,” I barked. “You just do your job, and I’ll do mine.” I needed to learn more about the comings and goings of Izan, and how and to whom he was selling the diamonds. The intelligence we’d gathered on him said he’d done a good job setting himself up to look legit to his fiancée and the outside world. His sock puppet accounts and website featured no photos of him, while painting the picture of a wealthy hedge fund manager and a man who cared about the environment and animals. All the while, he was the animal. The thing about animals is, they are unpredictable. That, more than anything, worried me. And it’s why, whether or not Sabrina liked it, I wasn’t letting her out of my sight, even if that meant going to a bridal shower.
“Don’t get snippy with me, love. I have the power to pull you off this assignment. Just remember that. Now, go have fun at your little bridal shower. Eat some cake for me.” She hung up.
Disgruntled, I shoved my phone in my pocket and marched my way across the lovely property, lit up only by the lights of guests’ cabins and the moon and stars above. For a moment, I was back in Iowa on Halloween night, walking through cornfields with dead stalks, wishing for a life where I could afford to stay in a place like this. Who knew what the cost would be? Only my life.
I shook off the depressing thoughts. There was a mission to accomplish, though I couldn’t have imagined it would involve a bridal shower. I’d never been to any kind of shower before and had no idea what to expect. I was only going now because Callie Belle had insisted I come, and Sabrina would be there. Apparently, they were breaking with tradition and inviting men to the festivities. This was all “Soren’s idea,” I was told. The guy was trying his best to look like the doting fiancé. He sure had his future bride and mother-in-law fooled, but I wasn’t so sure about Mercer Belle. He seemed to reserve judgment about the man his daughter was going to marry. Mercer also had some thoughts about me, judging by the keen way he stared at me after I brought in Sabrina’s luggage. No doubt he would consider me the worst sort of man, once Sabrina filled him in on our history. He wouldn’t be wrong.
The lodge glowed in the distance, all lit up and busy with guests arriving for dinner. I recalled Sabrina waxing almost poetic about the restaurant on the premises and the chef. Genevieve was her name, and she’d made Sabrina fall in love with food and baking. She was the one who’d encouraged her to apprentice in France and had secured her spot with the pastry chef. I wasn’t sure whether to thank or curse Genevieve. On one hand, Sabrina had breathed life into my soul. On the other hand, she had ensured I would be tortured for the rest of my existence, knowing what life could be like and how it felt to be utterly content. I would never know true happiness again. I couldn’t afford to, and I couldn’t imagine being happy without Sabrina in my life.
Apparently, from the grating cadence in her voice, Sabrina was also being tortured, as she unexpectedly called out behind me, “Why are you going to the lodge right now?” She strode toward me, carrying a gift bag and trying her best to watch her temper. She was a fall vision, wearing a rust-colored dress and cowboy boots, her gorgeous hair down in loose curls.
She clearly didn’t know that her mom had invited me to the bridal shower, so I gladly waited for her. Being away from her was making me anxious in ways I’d never experienced before. If I didn’t have hidden surveillance equipment and weapons in my cabin, I’d be trying to figure out some way for her to stay with me, as wonderfully torturous as that would be.
Sabrina landed in front of me, her demeanor demanding an explanation.
I smiled, knowing I was about to tick her off. “I’m headed to the bridal shower, same as you.”
Even in the dim light, I could see her gorgeous face explode into a red fireball. “Absolutely not. Who invited you?”
“Your mother,” I happily responded.
“Mama,” she groaned under her breath. “Well, as one of the bridesmaids, I’m uninviting you.”
“Sorry, I can’t disappoint your mother.” I smirked.
“Why? You’re so good at disappointing people.” She hit me with an emotional TKO punch. As painful as it was, I had to say I enjoyed this fiery side of her. Maybe I should have tried to anger her while we were in Bordeaux. I could only imagine how hot the making up would have been, considering that her even-natured side set my world on fire. I tried to shake those thoughts off, knowing I had to stay focused on my mission. But damn, it was hard.
I cleared my throat and dared to step closer to her, knowing her sweet floral scent would only make me crave her more. “You are, of course, right, but I’m trying to make amends.” If only I could.
She scoffed and stomped off. “You’re three years too late for that.”
I followed her, pangs of remorse assaulting me. It was a new feeling. My job required me not to acknowledge that emotion—the guilt would eat me alive. I had to push it down, knowing that in order to keep her safe I would need to do things in the coming days I’d regret, just like I regretted leaving her before without a trace. This time I would try to find a way for her to understand it wasn’t her fault. Maybe then I could ease my conscience.
“Sabrina, please, just let me have my say.”
She shook her head and kept on walking.
Screw it. I was just going to blurt it out. “I left because things were moving too fast and it scared me .” Damn it. That came out lame.
Sabrina laughed a mocking laugh. “You realize that’s what they all say? It was me, not you.”
“It was me. All me,” I assured her. “You were perfect. You are perfect,” I amended.
“Still not buying it,” she sang before spinning around and hitting me with her steely gaze. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’m going to figure it out.”
Hell, the last thing I needed was for her to figure me out. Not that I blamed her for wanting to try, but I’d counted on her being rational and, if anything, dismissive. To be fair, though, my sudden disappearance and reappearance were anything but rational.
Sabrina looked me up and down, her eyes taking their time. The way she licked her lips said she liked what she saw. She shut her eyes tight. “As I was saying,” she stammered. “After I figure out your game, I’m going to—”
“You’re going to what?” I stepped closer to her, leaning in until she opened her eyes, stunned into silence by how close we stood to each other. I took advantage of this and ran a finger down her creamy cheek. “Tell me what you’re going to do, Sabrina,” I whispered in her ear, breathing her in, all while hating myself for trying my best to seduce her, for lack of a better term. But I needed the in with her family to make my presence seem normal, and with any luck to get Izan to let his guard down around me. Not that I expected him to reveal his past, but he might say something that would give me a clue where the diamonds might be and whom he had dealings with.
Sabrina shivered and sighed.
“I thought about you all these years, and this place you told me so much about. I hoped being here would help me feel closer to you.” That statement, while true, was a miscalculation on my part.
She snapped out of her daze. “You know what would have made you feel closer to me? Not leaving me.” She curled her lips and said, “Ugh,” disgusted with me and maybe even herself for allowing me to infiltrate her space. Sabrina backed away, keeping her focus on me, trying to figure me out. I wished she wouldn’t. If she thought she hated me now, she’d abhor me if she knew who I really was and what things I’d done.
“Not that I wanted you to stay closer to me,” she added. “Because I didn’t,” she lied. “And I don’t now. So just keep your whispers and your fingers and especially your chemical cocktails to yourself.”
I tilted my head, confused. “Chemical cocktails?” Was she talking about bombs? What the hell had she found out already? I needed to get Ivy on this stat.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“No, I don’t.” I was getting more nervous by the second.
She pointed at herself. “All the serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin—we will be having none of that. Do you understand me?”
I laughed, relieved she wasn’t talking about actual cocktail bombs.
“This isn’t funny. I’m being serious. Your magic doesn’t work on me anymore.”
I tried to keep a straight face, knowing she was lying through her teeth. “I believe you.”
“Now that we have that settled, you can go back to your cabin. I’ll make your excuses.”
I shook my head and walked right past her. “Sorry, that’s not happening.” Whether she liked it or not, she was stuck with me. And I hated to tell her that, depending on how this mission went, more chemical cocktails might be in her future.