Chapter Twenty-One
Cash
DAMN IT ALL TO HELL! I’d let what very few emotions I possessed overrule me, and not only did I put the one person I cared about in this world in danger, but I may have screwed over the mission. Knocking over the decorative metal ball on the nightstand near the window while climbing out was a rookie mistake. My focus wasn’t where it should have been—all I could think about was saving Sabrina. Why hadn’t she just gotten the hell out of there like I’d told her instead of engaging the scumbag in conversation? I’d warned her how dangerous he was. More importantly, I’d told her I could take care of myself. Not that I blamed her for this situation—I should have never put her in this position in the first place. And I shouldn’t have wasted time kissing her, but to me it hadn’t been time wasted. I wanted every second with her I could get. But those seconds were costly, and now Sabrina might be paying the price.
I stared at the front door, wanting to knock it down, waiting for Sabrina to answer it. Why she hadn’t left yet, I didn’t know. Actually, that wasn’t true—I did know. She was trying to play heroine and save her sister. I was giving it five more seconds before I went in, guns blazing, not caring if I blew my cover. I would kill Izan without a thought if he did anything to Sabrina.
Thankfully, a visibly shaken Sabrina opened the door, trying to pretend like everything was fine. A sense of relief unlike any I’d felt before went through me.
“Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were helping Daddy?” she said a little pitchy but pulled it off well.
I had to hand it to her—she was an excellent actress, but Izan was a terrible actor. He stood a ways back, staring coldly at me. I wasn’t sure if he suspected I’d been in his room, but his facade was fading.
“You said you might come here, so I thought I would check before I headed back to the cabin.” I tugged Sabrina toward me, onto the porch, and kissed her like I normally would. Except there was nothing normal about this. I wanted her as close to me as possible so I could shield her if I had to.
“What’s up, Soren?” I asked, trying to plan my next move and gauge what Izan knew, or thought he knew.
“We just heard a loud noise coming from my room.” His tone reeked of accusation.
“I thought it was a possum.” Sabrina laughed.
I laughed too, trying to play along and not give anything away. “You don’t want to mess with those. Do you want me to check it out?”
“No, I think I can handle a rodent on my own,” Izan warned me.
“I have no doubt.” I was well aware of how Izan handled people. Unfortunately, he suspected me, and most likely Sabrina, of something. Worse, I couldn’t remove us from the situation. That would only add to Izan’s suspicions and would have him running. I had to let this play out.
“Well,” Sabrina sang. “I guess we’ll leave you to it. By the way, just in case you need to know, possums love the color white, so you can use sweet flour paste to catch them. Anyway, tell Lexi I’ll call her later. This guy and I have a lot of making up to do.” She patted my chest.
That sounded like an incredible idea, but I knew she was just making excuses to get us out of there.
“Bye.” Sabrina waved and shut the door before I even had time to process what she’d done. “We need to get out of here,” she frantically whispered.
What had happened to her in the minutes we were apart? All my worst fears ran through my head. The rush of emotions was disconcerting and had me forgetting my objective. As we tore down the path, hand in hand, I started making plans in my mind to jet off to the convent in Switzerland or a safe house with her. To hell with the mission and letting it all play out.
“Did you find the diamonds?” she said in a muffled voice as soon as we were far enough from the house and could speak without listening ears.
“I didn’t have time to do a thorough search. Why didn’t you leave like you were supposed to?” I scolded her.
“Because I was trying to give you time,” she defended herself. “And because ... well ...” she huffed.
“What?” I was anxious to know. “Did Soren do something to you?”
She stopped and blew out a deep breath. “Other than giving me a peek at his uneven temper, no. I didn’t leave right away because ... well ... I thought maybe you should know what it felt like for someone to try to save you.”
My jaw dropped. It was the most maddening, preposterous, amazing thing I’d ever heard. “That’s not your job.” Didn’t she realize the danger she was in?
She ripped her hand out of mine. “Well, it could have been my job, but you ... you just left me. You stole our happy ending.”
I stood stunned. Did she really think we could have a happy ending? “Sabrina.” I took her hand back. She tried to pull away, but I wasn’t having it. I tightened my gentle grip. “Please, hear me out.”
She stopped resisting, tears welling in her eyes.
I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms around her lithe body that fit perfectly against mine, as if a sculptor had molded them together by design.
She rested her head on my chest, shaking. “I thought maybe a mob boss had killed you,” she cried.
I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“It’s not funny.”
“You’re right. But it’s going to take more than a mob boss to kill me.”
“What, like a ninja?” she teased.
“Highly unlikely. I’m well trained in the art of ninjutsu. But I’m not good at this.” I kissed her head. “I should have never brought you into my world. It’s not safe.”
She clung tighter to me. “Do you regret kissing me that day on the street?”
The timing of her question was unexpected. “No, but I still shouldn’t have done it.”
“But you did, and you’re here now, and this doesn’t feel like pretend to me.”
“Sabrina. I’m not pretending, but I meant what I said last night. I don’t get the happy ending.”
“Why did you come, then? I don’t want to believe it was just so you could use me to get to Soren. Are you just using me?” she begged to know.
“Yes ... no.” I begged myself to lie to her. It would be easier and cleaner that way. It was what I was supposed to do.
“Then why?”
I closed my eyes and sighed, a battle raging inside me. But I couldn’t do my job and lie to her. “Because I needed to make you safe.”
She snuggled in closer. “I wanted to make you safe today too.”
I stroked her silky hair, my chin resting on her head. A breeze whipped around us as if to remind me that trouble was stirring. What had I done? “Damn emotions.”
“I knew you had some,” she laughed.
“Sabrina, I shouldn’t.”
“That’s not true.”
“There’s no room for relationships in my line of work. Look at the danger I’m putting you in. I can’t continue to bring you into this.”
“I’m already in deep, and I think I know where the diamonds are,” she murmured against my chest.
Astonished by her declaration, I leaned away. “Where?”
“The underground caves that run for miles around here,” she whispered.
I thought for a moment. “It would make sense for him to hide the diamonds in his room, keeping them close by. But it doesn’t seem logical to hide them in the caves when he typically lives on Emerald Isle. What would his reasoning be? And how could he secure them down there?”
“I don’t know, but he clearly just got back from the caves, and that’s where he and Lexi met, and she said he told her that meeting her there was better than finding buried treasure. Maybe he was being literal. There are several tales and legends about outlaws and even pirates burying ‘treasure’ in the caves or even hiding out in them. Maybe he liked the idea of adding to the legend, or maybe he thought it would be the last place someone would look for the diamonds. The cave system is complex, and there are plenty of hiding spots in it. And he didn’t take his phone with him today and refused to give me any recommendations on the best places to go spelunking.”
“You make some valid points,” I conceded, although it seemed illogical and out of character for someone like Izan, who had gone to such great lengths for his “treasure.” I couldn’t see him being comfortable with the idea of being separated from the diamonds. Unless he was keeping them in multiple places, which was always a possibility. “If nothing turns up on Emerald Isle, I’ll have a team start searching the caves.”
“We could start our own search,” Sabrina suggested.
“Absolutely not.” I shut down that train of thought. “If he really is hiding the diamonds in the caves, you are staying as far away from there as possible. If he found out we went anywhere near them, it would only further rouse his suspicion, and who knows what he would do. This man has no conscience. Do you understand that?” I said as bluntly as I could to make sure I got my point across.
She gravely nodded.
“With that in mind, you’re not leaving my sight from here on out.”
“Do you mean ever?” Her voice cracked with every emotion I’d hid from or suppressed throughout my entire life.
Her words rendered me speechless. Did she have any idea what she was asking?
“I know you say you’re not supposed to get a happy ending, and maybe you wouldn’t even consider me a happy ending.”
She was wrong there.
“I don’t know what I’m saying,” she continued. “I don’t even know your real name, but I can’t forget our time in France. As crazy as it sounds, it felt as if I really knew you—the real you. Just being with you again, it’s, well ... I don’t know what to say. I guess what I’m saying is, Jack Ryan had a wife and family, and Mr. and Mrs. Smith were married.”
I chuckled. “Those movies aren’t real life.”
She bit her lip. “I suppose not. Anyway, I’m probably just speaking nonsense due to all the chemicals you keep mixing inside of me. But ... I keep feeling like I should tell you that maybe you have a choice. You know, if you want one,” she quickly added. “I’m not saying I would be your choice.” She blushed. “Obviously, I think you’re a jerk.”
“As you should.” I smiled, although I meant it. I was a jerk, and she was the most adorable creature I’d ever come across. And her words had me thinking things I probably shouldn’t. Did I have a choice to make?
Sabrina pulled away from me, flustered as if she’d said too much. She switched gears. “You still promise me you’re going to keep my sister safe, right?”
“I swear to you.”
“If you didn’t know where Soren was today, how can you be sure? What if he takes my sister and we don’t know?”
It was a valid question. I pulled Sabrina aside, toward a grove of pine trees. In a low voice, I said, “We’ve purposefully kept this part of the mission strictly observational. Someone like Izan who deals with the worst scum of the earth would look for bugs and trackers. We are trying not to arouse suspicion. Although I fear that’s exactly what I’ve done.” Not to say I believed Izan knew who I was working for, but he probably believed I knew more than I should. Most likely he assumed I had ties to organized crime and was monitoring him, trying to steal the diamonds for myself. I did have those kinds of ties, but that was a different alias.
“So, what will you do now?”
“I’ll get some agents in here to observe him twenty-four seven so I can keep an eye on you.” I drew her close and tucked some of her gorgeous auburn hair behind her ear while gazing into her eyes, so full of confusion and longing—so much longing. A desire to watch over her for the rest of my life filled me.
“We should probably get going,” she stuttered. “I have something to do,” she said so vaguely it alarmed me.
“What do you have to do? It had better not be going anywhere near those caves. Promise me you won’t go looking for the diamonds.”
“I promise I won’t. I saw the look in Soren’s eyes today, and I’ve never been so frightened in my life.” She shuddered. “It’s just that I need to get my sister a gift. Do you want to go shopping?” she asked brightly, abruptly changing her tone.
I thought about days with Sabrina at the markets in Bordeaux, perusing every booth and shop without a care in the world, watching her try on silly hats and silk scarves. It was the first time in my life I’d ever felt at peace. I wished I could have captured every moment. Now, gazing at her, I felt the same way. I wanted more carefree days with Sabrina, where all I cared to do was make her smile.
The woman was going to have me thinking about those choices she spoke of. But I wasn’t sure I was brave enough to choose a life with her.