Chapter 16 Lexi
SIXTEEN
LEXI
Having Colten so close to the most intimate part of me is short-circuiting my brain.
Or maybe it’s the way he so carefully rubs lotion into my legs, making sure to moisturize every inch, not just where the carpet left marks.
Maybe this has all been a dream, because that’s the only way I can explain away…everything that has happened since I opened my eyes.
The way Colten has treated me has been a world away from the careful, barely there friendship we’ve fallen into since I came home from college, and the more I think about it, the harder that is to reconcile.
Is it because of what could have happened tonight? Maybe he feels bad for keeping me at arm’s length all these years?
But that doesn’t explain the pieces of me that are spread through his space.
The cushions that are so alike the ones in my bedroom at home, the sheets that I’m almost positive are the same brand I use, all of my favorite body products…
It just doesn’t make sense. None of it makes sense.
Colten pushes himself to his feet. His hands fall to the bench on either side of my thighs, and he leans in until his face is just inches from mine.
“You’re not ready for the answer to all the questions swirling around in your beautiful mind,” he murmurs.
“Why don’t you head to bed for a few hours? ”
I open my mouth to argue, but the pointed look he gives me is enough to have me snapping it shut again.
Without waiting for a response, he carefully lifts me from the bench and sets me on my feet. “I’ve got some work to do, but if you need me, just call out, okay?”
I nod, unable to form a single word through my warring thoughts.
I start toward the bedroom but only get a few steps before a tattooed hand wraps around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks.
I turn back to him, and I’m sucker punched by the emotions swirling around in his eyes.
He’s always been guarded, protecting himself from the outside world after being betrayed by the people that should have kept him safe, but the walls have fallen between us, and there’s a beautiful vulnerability sparking in the green pools.
“I’m happy you’re here, Lexi. Thank you for trusting me to keep you safe.”
There are a million things I want to say, but I can’t get any of them out, so instead I give him a shaky smile and head toward the bedroom, the phantom of his touch clinging to me with every step I take.
Once I’m safely behind the bedroom door, I pick my phone up from the end of the bed and slip between the sheets, shamelessly breathing in Colten.
A man has no damn right smelling this good, especially not my brother’s best friend.
There are a few notifications waiting for me, but it’s only six in the morning, so I’m not surprised it’s just a few of my international subscribers who have commented on my latest content.
I take time to reply to each one, slipping into my other persona with a practiced ease. It’s a comfort in some ways, having another version of myself to focus on, rather than the one whose life is falling apart in front of my eyes.
A tickle of unease threatens at the edge of my mind. One of my subscribers broke into the house. They went to the effort to find me, to survey the house, and to somehow make it past the insane layers of security Cruz has on the entire property. Which means they’re not just a casual stalker.
They mean me real harm.
I know I need to tell Colten about my job, but while I’m not ashamed of what I do, there’s a part of me that will be heartbroken if he doesn’t take it well.
It’s a part of me, and no matter how old I get, I’m always going to want him to accept every single part of me, even the parts that others may judge unfairly.
I sigh and nibble at my bottom lip, my fingers dancing over the keys in my chat with CJP.
I’m aching to speak to him, however irrational that may be, but I’m also acutely aware of the fact he’s the only one of my subscribers that I know with absolute certainty is from Seattle.
The reports in the background track the country of residence of each person who subscribes to my content, but it’s only because we’ve spoken about our favorite restaurants that I know we live in the same city.
What if it’s him?
What if the stranger on the internet, who I’ve always felt a kind of kinship with, is the same person who broke in while I was sleeping?
Wildcat: Hey you! Just letting you know I might be a little quiet for a few days.
CJP: Is everything okay? Thanks for letting me know so I wouldn’t worry.
I consider my options. I can either tell him the truth, or I can brush it off as just being busy. I’m leaning toward the former because I might be able to scratch him off the suspect list based on his answer.
When you spend your life looking over your shoulder, you learn to read people based on their words, even digitally.
Wildcat: Someone broke into my house in the middle of the night and tried to take me. I’m totally fine, just a couple of sore ribs and some carpet burn, but I’m more spooked than anything.
His reply is immediate and unfiltered, which is almost enough for me to take him out of the list of suspects.
CJP: What the fuck?
CJP: Are you okay? Do you have someone you can stay with for a few days?
CJP: I know you don’t know me, but is there anything I can do?
A smile tugs up the corners of my lips, a burst of butterflies fluttering in my chest at his reaction. It might seem strange to some, hell, to my own ears it’s insane, but he has this ability to make me feel like the only woman in the whole damn world, and I can never get enough of it.
Wildcat: Like I said, I’m okay. I think it was someone from this app, though.
He called me by my screen name, and there’s only one other person on earth that calls me that, so it’s probably a good time to take a little break to regroup.
I’m staying with my brother’s friend, who I’ve known my whole life, so I’m safe, just a little rattled.
Wildcat: I’ll check in with you when I can. I just didn’t want to disappear on you. Thank you for always being here for me when I need you.
CJP: As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters.
CJP: If there’s anything you need, even if it’s just someone to talk to, I’m here for you.
CJP: Take care of yourself, Wildcat.
I press my eyes closed to ward off the tears gathered at the corners.
The only two people in the world I can lean on right now are my brother’s best friend and a stranger who subscribes to my spicy content, and there’s something wildly pathetic about that.
I nestle into Colten’s sheets and allow his scent to drag me into unconsciousness.