Chapter 22
TWENTY-TWO
LEXI
Over the years I’ve mastered the art of going live without showing my face.
The camera hovers above me, held in place by the tripod I paid an arm and a leg for last year just so I could have this setup and no longer be worried about accidentally outing my identity.
It used to really play on my mind how easily all of this could be taken away, and with that fear renewed now that Colten and I have matched, I need this today.
I need the freedom it brings me, knowing that this is mine, and even if it ends tomorrow, I still had years of doing something I love. No matter how out of the ordinary it is.
The comments populate on the laptop beside my head, allowing me to reply when needed, but this early in a live, it’s mostly just emojis and men who have less creativity than a sock saying shit like “that’s so hot, baby” and “nice tits.”
It’s part of what drew me to CJP in the first place.
Our conversations have never been one-sided, and I appreciate the effort he makes so I don’t have to do all the work.
I shift slightly, giving the people watching a view of the scrap of lace covering my pussy. I’d struggle to consider it underwear because it does little to protect me, but the way the comments blow up tells me that’s exactly what they wanted to see.
YourMan64: Fuck, baby, your body is to die for.
LoverNotAFighter: You have my cock so fucking hard. All I want to do is blow my load over those perky tits.
DanTheSnack: I swear your body was sent straight from heaven.
LAGuy: Touch your pretty pussy for us, sweetheart. Show us how you come.
I roll my eyes at the comments. This is pretty much all I can hope to get unless my favorite subscriber decides to join us.
It’s still early, barely five in the afternoon here in Seattle, which means there’s a good chance he’s still at work, but a girl can dream.
Slowly, I slide my hand down my body, brushing my fingers over my curves on the way down. There are a few bruises I had to cover with makeup, but I think that, matched with the app’s built-in touch-up feature, should be enough to keep them hidden.
A soft moan tumbles from my lips when my fingers slip beneath the barely there lace.
You’d think the last thing I’d want to do after such a rollercoaster of a day would be to get off, but at least this is something I can control.
So much of my life is out of my hands, but this right here, my pleasure, the pleasure of those watching, that’s something that’s all mine, and I’ll hold on for as long as I can to that semblance of power.
DanTheSnack: So sexy!
LoverNotAFighter: Want to fuck you so bad!
Good lord, I hope they’re better at dirty talk in the bedroom than they are through an app.
A familiar screen name pops up, and my chest tightens.
He’s here.
CJP: Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, Wildcat? You gonna put on a show for us? I know how much you love everyone watching you come.
Another moan escapes, but this one is all for him. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about the words he chooses and how well he knows what gets me off.
Before he came along, I never would have thought I would have an exhibitionism kink, even with the kind of work I do, but he’s opened my eyes to how much I truly enjoy others watching me.
Moving my fingers over my clit in small, circular motions, I shift my hips involuntarily, need rocketing through my entire body.
My chest flushes, a new thing for my viewers to comment on, but I’m only focused on one.
Which probably makes me a shitty creator, but I can’t help it that these guys don’t know the first thing about igniting a woman with their words alone.
LAGuy: You gonna come for us, baby?
I roll my eyes. It would be a pretty fucking boring show if I came in the first five minutes, but I guess that’s men in a nutshell.
They don’t care about dragging out a woman’s pleasure. All they’re focused on is themselves and how quickly they can get themselves off.
CJP: Wildcat loves to be edged, don’t you, baby? Nothing your sweet pussy loves more than walking the edge of release for as long as you can, knowing the longer you wait, the harder you’ll come.
Fuck. This man and his words are my undoing every single time.
Unsurprisingly, he’s also correct.
I don’t know how it’s possible for a man I’ve never met to be able to read me the way he does, but it makes me curious about who he is outside these chats.
Is he some creepy guy in his mother’s basement?
Or is he a businessman too busy for a real relationship?
With filthy words like his, maybe he writes spicy books for a living.
If he doesn’t, he probably should, but even as I think it, I hate the idea of millions of women having what I do.
I’m not so naive to think I’m the only woman in his life, because that would make me a fucking idiot, but it’s nice to live in my own little bubble of denial sometimes.
YourMan64: Lose the panties, baby. Stop hiding the good stuff.
I swallow down the sigh that tries to escape.
When I first started doing this, the thrill of it made the shitty parts seem a little less shitty. But now that I’m years into the gig, it’s hard to ignore subscribers that act like this.
It’s not that he’s doing anything wrong per se, but it’s just the way they’re desperate to hurry this up.
“Looks like we’re all getting a lesson in delayed gratification today, boys,” I say breathily.
My fingers move through my wetness, dragging another moan from my throat. I shift against the sheets, the faint scent of Colten lingering in the fabric and adding an extra thrill to my already sensitive body.
I thoroughly checked the bedroom for cameras before I started this little stunt, and from my chat with Ken at the door, Colten is in for a long night of work.
Which means I’m free to take as long as I want.
I rest my free hand across my stomach, shifting my body to allow my viewers a new view of my cleavage. The lacy bra I’m wearing is practically see-through, and it’s doing very little to keep my nipples hidden, but that’s kind of the point.
It drives a man wild to have what they want within reach and yet still have to wait to have it.
My pulse kicks up as pleasure pulses through my body.
It’s a practiced dance bringing myself to the place that only this version of me exists.
The pressures of being a Mafia princess fall away. The worries and fears that I’ll never be enough slip from my grasp. And all that remains is the one thing I’ve always been good at, the only thing that’s ever been mine.
A stream of new emojis floods the screen, and I let out a well-placed moan to let them know I appreciate their enthusiasm.
Which is also around the time a few gifts come through, Fan Faves version of a tip, and I can’t help but smile to myself.
When I started this years ago, all I wanted was financial security that had no ties to the family.
Money that was clean. Money that I earned.
But now I have enough squirreled away that even if I had to flee tomorrow and never made another cent, I’d be able to live comfortably for the rest of my life.
LAGuy: The things I’d do if I ever got my hands on your pretty body.
LoverNotAFighter: She’d love it too. She’d love being taken hard. Her body was built to be used.
A fresh flush moves over my skin.
It probably makes me a little fucked up that I like being spoken about like this, especially by strangers, but I’m not here to yuck anyone’s yum, so I hope that respect goes both ways.
I’m so distracted by the new messages that I miss the presence looming over me until fingers wrap gently around my chin and tip my face up until I’m staring into deep green eyes.
Colten stands over me with a fire burning in his gaze.
Without a word, he slips an earpiece into my ear and moves to the couch in the corner, where he has a perfect view between my spread thighs.
“Time to give them a real show, Wildcat.”