Chapter 41 Lexi
FORTY-ONE
LEXI
Having a cat is literally the best thing in the world, and I will accept no arguments about it.
Pancake races across the apartment after the toy I just threw. We’ve been at this for twenty minutes, and she’s still bringing the little mouse back to me after she bats it around the place in a sign of dominance.
Yep, you heard that right, Pancake plays fetch.
The first time I threw it for her, she brought it right back, and now she insists on playing no less than four times a day.
Mr. Whiskers could never.
Riley and Cruz are coming home tomorrow, and while I’m excited to see them after weeks apart, I’m even more relieved about the fact the babysitter will no longer have to sit in that house all day every day reporting on his every move.
He sleeps most of the day, and yet for some reason Colten is paying the poor girl extra to have an hourly update about his movements.
Lord help us if we ever have kids because something tells me he’s going to be wildly over the top.
The thought stops me in my tracks.
It is way too early to start thinking about that kind of commitment, especially because it’s something I’m uncertain I even want for myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, and they tend to love me. But the idea of that kind of responsibility, of having to keep a tiny human alive…I’m not sure it’s for me.
A tendril of dread wraps around my chest. Is that something Colten wants?
We haven’t had any serious talks yet, and maybe that’s a mistake.
While most couples have the luxury of getting to know each other over years, we won’t have that kind of time. We only have sixty days from when we’re matched to decide whether we’re compatible, otherwise, our names are thrown back into the algorithm.
And while we are certainly compatible in bed and with surface-level things, we may not be when it comes to big life decisions like marriage and kids.
We should have started having these conversations as soon as we matched, but we haven’t had a normal courting period, with me almost being kidnapped on more than one occasion.
Pancake drops her toy at my feet and stares up at me expectantly, pulling my thoughts from the darkness.
Colten is so good with her, a natural cat dad if there ever was one, so I can’t imagine he’s against the idea of children. But knowing what I do about his childhood, I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted nothing to do with being a parent himself.
A little paw comes up and taps me, and my chest warms.
How Colten knew I needed a pet I’ll never know, but I’m so freaking grateful he did.
I lift her off the floor and hold the little ball of fluff against my chest, breathing her in. If she doesn’t enjoy the love, she doesn’t make any move to escape.
Eventually I release her, allowing her to continue playing while I reach for my phone.
It’s been hours since I heard from Colten, and I’m starting to worry.
I don’t ever want to be one of those women who keeps track of where their man is, but his job is dangerous.
I’ve always worried about him, even before we were more than just friends, but now that there’s more to our relationship, my anxiety goes through the roof every time he steps out the door.
How the hell does Riley do it?
Or perhaps she’s just stronger than I am.
I flick through a few notifications, deleting emails for online stores I should have unsubscribed from years ago, but there’s nothing that requires my immediate attention, which means a day of reality television and snacks is in order.
Usually when I’m feeling this way, I would head to Pilates or take myself for a solo date to my favorite restaurant, but leaving the apartment is a cardinal sin as far as Colten is concerned, and honestly, I’m not ready to go anywhere without him.
I’m about to drop my phone back to the cushion when it starts buzzing in my hand. My brow dips when I see the number calling.
The Mafia Matchmaker.
It’s too early to be checking in on our match, especially seeing as most people would have only been on one or two dates at this point.
“Hello, Lexi speaking,” I say, bringing the phone to my ear.
“Miss De Luca, I’m so glad I could reach you.
” A bubbly voice comes down the line. “I just wanted to let you know that we’ve recently identified several files that appear to have been tampered with, and unfortunately, yours was one of them.
Now rest assured, we are re-running the algorithm to ensure your match itself wasn’t impacted, so there’s nothing you need to do on your end. ”
I’m quiet for long seconds, my mind whirring with panicked thoughts. Oh god. Could it have been my attacker?
I shake the thought off as impossible, seeing as their security is so complex, and if that were the case, wouldn’t he have not matched me with Colten? He’s made multiple threats against him if I allow him to touch me, so that wouldn’t make any sense at all.
“Miss De Luca?”
“Sorry, I’m here,” I murmur. “How many other files did you say were impacted?”
“Only a handful, which is part of the reason it took us a couple of weeks to notice the abnormalities,” she pauses. “Nothing like this has ever happened before, and I want you to know we’re adding additional security measures to ensure our systems are rock solid.”
“Thank you for letting me know. Will you keep me updated about my match?”
“Of course. I’m sorry this has happened. I’m sure it’s quite a shock to hear your perfect match may not actually be a match at all.”
“It is,” I reply softly, my heart lodging itself in my throat.
We say our goodbyes, and the moment the call ends, my phone falls to the couch beside me.
What if Colten isn’t really my match?
Would it make any difference?
After spending just a couple of weeks with him, I can’t imagine the results coming back as not compatible. We fit in a way I never expected for myself, and I wouldn’t want to lose that.
But what if Colten disagrees?
What if he goes back to keeping me at a distance because we’re not a true match?
I bury my head in my hands as familiar anxieties tug in my chest.
Now I know what it’s like to be his, I don’t want to go back to how it was before.
The loneliness.
The uncertainty.
Wondering if I’ll ever be good enough for anyone to love.
Tears fall against my cheeks, and I swipe them away as I desperately try to gather my composure.
It’s not definite yet. It could be a misunderstanding or an employee who updated our file without going through the correct channels.
People make mistakes every day. Why couldn’t this be one?
Pancake drops her toy at my feet and looks up at me through bright green eyes, pulling a soft laugh from me.
If only life were as simple as it is for a cat.
I toss the mouse toward the bedroom and head into the kitchen to make myself a snack. I haven’t cooked at all since I’ve been here because Colten insists on making all my meals, a talent I had no idea he had until he moved me in here.
The elevator dings as I’m surveying the contents of the cupboard, hoping that some chocolate has miraculously appeared since the last time I checked.
Spoiler alert: it has not.
I peer around the corner and find Ken standing in the doorway with a couple of packages under his arm.
“Hey!” I smile. “You want a drink or anything?”
He shakes his head. “That’s okay, I need to get back downstairs, but the envelope on the top here is marked as urgent, so I wanted to bring it up right away.”
“Oh, okay.” I keep my tone as upbeat as I can, but the hint of disappointment is probably obvious to the man who has been guarding me for years. “Pop them on the table. Thanks for bringing them up!”
He gives me a nod before dropping the packages where I instructed and heading back toward the elevator.
Okay, so maybe I am going a little stir-crazy being locked inside these four walls without any human contact other than Colten.
Accepting that there’s nothing worth snacking on in this kitchen, I head over to the table to check if either of them are for me.
It seems unlikely, seeing as I haven’t ordered anything, but hey, maybe I bought myself a present and forgot about it.
The box has Colten’s name on it, which is disappointing but hardly a surprise.
Damn past Lexi for not buying us something pretty.
Moving on to the envelope, I find my name scrawled across the front with a big red URGENT across the top.
Hopefully whatever’s inside will be enough to give me the serotonin boost I so desperately need right now.
I tear the envelope open and dump the contents into the middle of the table, but regret it almost immediately
Because the twenty photos staring back at me of Colten in the suit he left the apartment in this morning with his eyes scratched out have my stomach rolling with nausea.
But it’s the note in the center that has me sprinting to the bathroom to empty the contents of my stomach.
I told you not to let him touch you. Now you find out what happens when you disobey me.