Chapter 22
CHAPTER
TWENTY-TWO
CINDEL
The Lantern Festival at the Boston Zoo has stunning exhibits of paper covered lights that wow children and adults alike.
My family and I would attend each fall, being sure not to skip a single display.
Brodi took me once, although we kind of rushed through most of the exhibits because he got bored and wanted to go back to his place so I could give him head.
That’s always how it went. Pleasure him first, then I sometimes get a turn.
Maybe that’s just how relationships go. One side makes out better than the other, or it’s hot and heavy at the start, then it slowly fizzles out.
For once, I was relieved to be unaccompanied.
Going at a pace that pleased me. Perhaps that’s the era I’ve entered in my life. Doing what I want.
My face is pretty, but I’m not hot or sexy. I learned a while ago that I flourish when it comes to dressing my body.
This evening, I pair my long dress-like, Smashing Pumpkins tee with an oversized, olive-colored army jacket and black tights.
I was warm enough despite the cutting temperature.
With the forecast of a light drizzle, it was apparently off putting enough to discourage people from visiting the lantern festival.
This gave me a wide berth and plenty of time to walk at my leisure.
Halloween was less than a week away and many of the trees were nearly bare.
My boots crunch atop collections of leaves, as I stop to admire lanterns in the shape of panda bears, nestled between bamboo trees.
A girl with pigtails comments on the bears to her parents.
“It’s broken!” She whines, “It’s not brown.
” As innocent as the comment was, it’s a stark comparison to how society views something other than what you perceive as ‘normal.’
Continuing down a path of fish, I am engulfed in a sea of color.
It was like something from a fairytale, floating between lantern-shaped lily pads in a kaleidoscope of color.
Not quite the same presentation as when I would visit with my family, but I explicitly remember racing my brother down similarly lit paths.
The ocean setting morphed into a garden, as blooming lotuses cascade from the sky.
This creates tiny stars along the pathway as if moving onto an otherworldly place.
The farther I go… the fewer people I see.
Just past the school of sea creatures and tranquil twinkling ponds was the greatest marvel.
It was the only consistent display at the Lantern Festival, the dragon.
The enormity alone is astounding, but it was all the fine details along the back and tail that could keep me awestruck for hours.
I don’t know how long I’ve been standing here as soapy rain covers my hair and shoulders, but my clothes are beginning to cling to me.
With the dropping temperature, I soon find myself rubbing my arms to keep warm.
Perhaps only wearing a giant shirt and a pair of sheer leggings wasn’t the best choice, but I looked adorable damnit.
Cold, but adorable. I should really organize my closet and find my raincoat.
All at once, opaque clouds of gray begin billowing from the dragon display.
I don’t recall this feature from past visits.
This must be a new addition. Slowly, the ground becomes covered with a rolling fog as the creature releases a continuous stream of smoke.
It was rising higher up my legs, causing my boots to disappear.
No one is around, as the haze gradually swallows me within the secluded alcove.
Pins and needles start at my fingertips, working their way up my arms and into my torso.
My heart thunders in my chest and it feels impossible to take a full breath of air.
I am frozen in place, instantly brought back to that smoke filled room when I was a child.
The ever-present ringing in my ears surges, while my hold on reality shrinks.
Lowering myself down to the ground, I hug my legs into myself.
Rocking softly, I try to find my way back, repeating that word that changed me forever.
“Explosion. Explosion. Explosion.”
I’m back in that playroom. Alone. Strong arms scoop me up from my huddled position, lifting me into the air. I must have forgotten to breathe this entire episode, because I could have sworn, I was floating right before everything went black.
I open my eyes; vision still blurred and try and take in my surroundings.
I’m lying on a couch in a small office. A worn chair sits in front of a large office desk, flanked by two metal filing cabinets.
The only light comes from a green banker’s lamp perched on the corner of the desk, casting a muted glow across the room.
Trying to lift my hands to my face, I find my left arm restricted.
Following my arm down to my wrist, I discovered I’m cuffed to the leg of the couch.
I tug, causing the metal to clank loudly.
Taking in the whole, dimly lit room, I see no sign of another person.
Sliding my body off the couch and to the floor, I was ready to lift the sofa and free myself, but the goddamned leg was bolted to the floor!
I search around for something to use. Anything to free me from this situation before whomever put me here returns.
Windows are high above me, each containing a wire grid, embedded in frosted glass.
Am I in some kind of office or backroom?
Was I still at the Zoo or did someone bring me to a different location?
With nothing in reach, I attempt to pull my wrist free from the cuff, only to be met with disappointment and raw skin around the top of my hand.
I pull and kick at the other latch, hating the metal against metal sound.
I’m just happy it makes a sound at all. That means my hearing aids are still secure and working.
Without warning, I hear footsteps. The growing sound means whoever put me here, is coming back!
I urgently wedge my body within the tiny opening between the couch and the wall, despite my anchored hand, hanging awkwardly in plain sight.
I am trapped, but I still felt safer in this corner than out in the open.
I listen to the sound of the squeaking door gradually opening. It stops, then a different tone screech tells me the door is closing again. A deep metallic “THUNK,” indicates the room is locked.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My body is curled inward on itself; I don’t dare look up. My captor approaches with massive squeaking boots before grabbing the chair and wheeling it in front of me to sit down. I assume this is a man based on the heavy way he sat and the sheer size of his footwear.
Unexpectedly, the crinkling of a plastic wrapper is the only sound that fills the room.
What is that? What does he have? More rustling and ripping ensue, then chewing?
Is this psychopath eating? Lifting my head slightly, I dare a peek.
A large menacing form sits before me, suited in head-to-toe, black tactical gear.
Literally, from top to bottom. From shiny combat boots, all the way up to his ballistic helmet.
I couldn’t even identify his face, as the man has on a balaclava, helmet, and goggles.
He either planned on going to play paintball later, or he was ready to face a riot.
Oh fuck, is he military? Police? I look down at my handcuff. Am I being detained?
Trying to remember what happened before my blackout episode.
I recall smoke and how I felt like I was back in my childhood home…
brought back to the explosion that took away my ability to hear.
My past, once again, has whisked me away from sensibility.
I use my uncuffed hand to smooth my hair as I face the masked stranger.
“Is this about the explosion thing? I swear, I’m not dangerous. I have flashbacks sometimes. When I was little, I kind of went through some fucked up shit. All the smoke made me—”
The shadow of a man extends his arm, revealing the source of the noise. He shakes a small box at me, causing its contents to rattle.
It’s… it’s a box of sour gummies? I look between the box and his concealed face; he’s offering me candy?
He reaches his gloved fingers into the box to retrieve a red and yellow sweet, pulls the mask just far enough away from his face to slide underneath and inserts the candy into his mouth. He pushes the box back into my personal space and shakes its contents again.
“Umm, no thank you. I will however take a key, since this all seems to be some kind of big misunderstanding.”
This person… this man is a massive statue, filling the entirety of the chair with his silent protest. He’s not going to take no for an answer, is he?
I stretch my free trembling hand out and reach into the box.
Reluctantly, I plucked out a blue and orange, citric acid covered gummy, before popping it into my mouth.
I make the ‘Mmm’ sound and nod. “Can I go now, please?”
The sculpture breaks form, standing to fetch my purse off the desk.
“Hey, that’s mine!”
The man clad in black hasn’t spoken a word to me, which makes everything that much more nerve wracking. He dumps the contents out onto the desk, causing my compact to roll off the table and shatter upon the floor.
“Hey! You're breaking my stuff!”