Chapter 34 Ingrid
Ingrid
The day Ada’s second exclusive publishes is the day Ingrid and Ada have chosen to give Mother the evidence. A plan that still
leaves Ingrid feeling much too unsettled, but Ada is right. This might determine who is sending the threats.
When Ingrid arrives at Gordon’s, she brings the latest issue of The Dish, as if stopping by to discuss it with Ada, which will ensure Mother sees it as well. Gordon answers and permits her inside,
where he, Ada, and Mother have just finished breakfast.
“Don’t discuss all the good gossip without me,” Gordon calls over his shoulder as he lets himself and Sowerby into the backyard.
He seems well, to Ingrid’s relief. Following the initial round of hearings, a few others were conducted locally, then future
hearings will take place in Washington, DC. When Ada told her of Gordon’s, she couldn’t help feeling responsible. Others might
have named Gordon a Communist, but her report certainly did, even if she also reported evidence of his changed views. Maybe
he wasn’t spared a hearing, but it seems the committee was satisfied with the discussion, so all is well.
After greetings and small talk, Ingrid holds up her copy of The Dish. “Wonderful piece, Leidje. I thought you might like to see it in print.”
“Is that the next exclusive? It published today, then?” Ada eagerly reaches for it—playing her role perfectly, as always—then
sits beside Mother so they can read together.
While they do so, Ingrid pours herself a cup of coffee, discreetly watching Mother’s face. Her expression remains neutral,
yet Ingrid detects the faint pursing of her lips and creasing of her brow.
“For God’s sake, Aleida, must you persist with this?” she asks once they finish and rise from the table. “Why must you speak
on such matters?”
“Because he’s a war criminal,” Ada says. Ingrid has a mind to elaborate, but she stays quiet. “I need to know what happened
to him, to get justice for all his victims. Which includes you, Mother.”
“I have my justice.” Mother wraps her arms around their waists, drawing them close. “This. My girls. You are all I want.”
Ingrid resists the urge to pull away. Mother has not criticized her at all recently. The reprieve is welcome, of course, but
this version of her almost makes Ingrid more uncomfortable. Mother does not dote on Ingrid like this. She is critical and
perpetually disappointed. She did promise to try to be better, so Ingrid should be grateful, yet nothing about this feels
natural when the mother she knows is so different.
Mother’s next breath is unsteady as she releases them. “You will never forgive me, will you? Is that why you intend to hold
everyone accountable? Even me?”
She looks so hurt, so defeated, nearly prompting Ingrid to extend a hand or offer a reassuring word. Perhaps Ingrid’s perception
is due to her own inability to move beyond her mistrust, making Mother’s efforts seem unnatural when the problem truly lies
with Ingrid.
“Speaking of her experiences doesn’t mean Aleida will mention your involvement, or that she won’t forgive you.
Nor does it mean I won’t, either, in time.
” At this, Mother meets her gaze. They did agree to put forth more effort with one another, so Ingrid presses forward with words that feel unusual on her tongue, but she tries to form them anyway.
“You have been hard on me all my life, Mother. But I have been hard on you too.”
If they are able to make peace, Ingrid will try to be better. Assuming Mother truly recognizes and regrets her past mistakes
and is not the one who has been manipulating Ada all this time. For now, though, and for the purposes of this conversation,
Ingrid will push her suspicions aside.
Mother takes Ingrid’s hand, seeming too overcome to speak. Ada is silent, as if pondering something, then she departs without
a word. Ingrid knows exactly where she’s going, but she simply sips her coffee, listening as Ada climbs the stairs—clever
girl, moving the evidence from the library to her bedroom so Mother won’t know where the negatives are hidden.
When Ada returns, she presents Mother with an unmarked envelope. “Few choices made during the war were made freely. Yours
were to protect me, and I can’t imagine what you suffered. I don’t wish to contribute to further suffering.”
Mother accepts the envelope, opens it, and peers inside. When she glimpses the documents and photographs, her breath catches,
then she kisses her daughters’ cheeks. Ada returns the kiss, and after a moment’s hesitation, so does Ingrid. Everything about
Mother seems entirely sincere, yet Ingrid’s concerns linger and do not allow her to fully accept this display.
After another hour of casual conversation, Mother returns to the guesthouse, taking the envelope with her. Ingrid watches
her through the back door as she crosses the beautifully manicured lawn.
“Does Mother know you took film? Will she realize you still have the negatives?”
“I doubt Dietrich gave her an itemized list. He probably just told her I stole materials against them both.” Ada steps to Ingrid’s side, watching Mother’s retreating figure. “And now we wait.”
Last time an exclusive published, Ada was threatened the same day. Now, as Ingrid glances at her sister, she sees the tension
in her rigid spine, the anticipation encircling her and, in turn, constricting Ingrid’s heart.
Perhaps it is due to the threat they await. Or the thought of Mother across the property, in possession of the evidence. No
number of copies could ever make Ingrid comfortable with that.
The days pass without another note appearing. Which could mean nothing. As Ada said, Dietrich is not predictable. Or nothing
has happened because Ada gave Mother the evidence. Which means Ingrid is right and no more threats will come.
The next exclusive is not scheduled to take place for a few months, so there is time for the culprit to make a threat, but
one will not come. Ingrid is certain of it.
Because Mother has done this.
Mother, who claimed she wanted to be better—an opportunity Ingrid was trying to permit. Mother, who was so worried about being
held accountable for her choices during the war, she used her own daughter’s fears against her.
“I can’t explain how I know, but I do,” Ada insists when they discuss the matter in Ingrid’s hotel room a couple weeks later.
“I know it’s not her.”
“It is. You can’t dismiss the test just because you don’t like the outcome.”
“Fine, let’s say you’re right. She was afraid I would expose her, so maybe she acted out of fear to protect herself, the same as she did during the war—which doesn’t make it right, but am I supposed to hold it against her for the rest of our lives?”
Why Ada insists on giving Mother chance after chance, Ingrid does not know. Still, Ingrid senses how unnerved Ada is by the
prospect of Mother being responsible, yet how desperately she does not want it to be Dietrich.
How can Ingrid focus on her investigation when it means going back to Gordon’s with Mother there? She has tolerated her over
these last weeks of attempted improvement in their relationship, but now Mother has proven herself to be the woman Ingrid
has always known her to be: a manipulative liar. And Ingrid cannot bear to be around her, nor can she bear the thought of
Ada associating with her.
Since her last meeting with Agent Stieber, Ingrid has turned in a copy of Ada’s second exclusive and provided reports of conversations
and materials to reinforce her initial findings, but she must keep working until she’s called back home. How is she supposed
to continue when it requires going to that house?
Where Mother is. And Mother cannot be trusted.