F I F T E E N
He handled it better than I expected. His soft eyes saddened, but a grin swept over his mouth.
“It’s okay… Really, Banks,” he nods. “I understand. I would be a fool to not have suspected as much.”
“I was hoping you would yell or something,” I confess.
Ryan chuckles. “You were never mine to begin with,” he says. “I can’t be too angry about it. If things change, you know where to find me.”
Him being so kind made me hate myself more. He all but put himself in second place when a guy like Ryan deserves to be first draft.
“You really don’t have to be so nice about this but thank you.”
I had spent all morning preparing myself for the worst, yet here he was, so understanding and annoyingly good.
I inhale. “And you don’t owe me anything but Stacey—”
Ryan frowns.
“I know,” I say. “But she asked me if you’d give her another chance to work on your service. She might have given off the wrong impression.”
“Might have, huh?” he scoffs.
“She’s cutthroat,” I murmur. “I know that but maybe that’s a good thing. She’s willing to do whatever means necessary for her patients.”
He stares. “You want me to give her a shot? Despite everything, I do trust your opinion. ”
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this,” I swallow. “But besides Hattie, Stacey is one of my favorite nurses right now.”
His face glazes over with confusion.
“Let’s just say the locker rooms aren’t a safe place these days.”
“Does it have anything to do with us?” He shutters. “Well… you know what I mean.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I shake my head. “I can handle a bunch of jealous women, but I do think Stacey might be worth another try.”
“I never wanted the other nurses to give you a hard time, Banks,” he says sincerely.
I smile. “Well, if any of them ask, just say I didn't live up to expectations.”
His brows furrow as a previous conversation reflects, and he laughs. “Never. I would still very much like to be friends.” He offers me a hand.
I gladly take it.
“See you around, Nurse Matsumara.”
“See you around.”
I had put off talking to Dr. Stevens until my last break, but clearly, I had been anxious over nothing, proving that he is, in fact, one of the good ones. The other nurses have been skirting around me all day–staring, whispering. Thank God this didn’t happen when I was first hired, or I might have just quit and never showed my face again.
I didn’t linger, doing nothing more than grabbing my coat and purse as quickly as I could manage when I clocked off. I don’t want to spend any more time in the locker rooms than absolutely necessary .
My phone buzzed in my purse as I stepped into the cold.
“Hello?”
“Banks,” Kai utters. “You just get off?”
“Yeah.”
“Perfect. Come meet Charlie and me at that pizza place you guys like over on Jackson.”
“You’re with Charlie?”
We hadn’t exactly talked about this.
We’ve yet to see Kai since Charlie and I happened.
I have barely been able to process that I had to deal with Ryan, let alone my brother.
“He’s meeting me,” Kai explains. “He said he was waiting for you to get off but I told him you already agreed to meet me for dinner. Come on, I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“I just saw you, Kai,” I reminded him.
“And it’s been a few days,” he counters. “We used to live together, Banks, it’s weird not seeing you all the time.”
“And here I thought you couldn’t wait to get rid of me.”
Kai snickers. “Miss you too, Sis. See you in a minute.”
I don’t have the chance to argue.
And it looks like I am going to dinner in my scrubs. Thankfully, I wore another turtleneck.
I think about it all for a moment before deciding to not get too wound up. Charlie and I would act as we normally do and Kai would be none the wiser for one night.
Plus I am starving, and I could eat pizza for every meal if it wouldn’t make me the size of a whale.
I found a spot on the street, half a block down. I’m a bit leery since the interaction coming home from Harlem’s, but I am not about to call Kai and ask him to walk down to meet me. Rather I carefully speed walk over the icy pavement .
There is relative commotion around, people moving in and out of the bars and restaurants, others hanging out in the dark alleys. Cars are zooming by. It’s loud, but that’s partly what drew me to the city. I liked the buzz of it. Ironic since I hate going out. It’s almost like white noise to help you fall asleep.
I stop in front of the brick pizza place, seeing it light inside in an orange glow.
A hand slips around my waist. “Hey.”
I twist and see Charlie standing beside me. A beanie over his head with curls twirling around his ears.
“Hi,” I smile.
“How was work?” he says, but I can tell he’s asking about Ryan.
“Everything’s fine,” I assure him. “I’m yours.”
He smirks. “Was it up for debate?”
I roll my eyes. “Come on.” I yank his hand from my waist and head for the door.
I spot my brother almost instantly, sitting at a half-round booth toward the back. He has a pitcher of beer in front of him with three glasses and a glass of wine.
“Who is it?”
“Who?” He lowers his ear.
“Who is he with? Should I know her name?”
Charlie’s chest vibrates. “I don't know who it is.”
I shrug as Kai notices us.
“Banks,” he grins, standing to hug me.
“You’d think I moved across the country,” I mutter.
“Try it,” Kai chuckles, letting me go as I slide into the booth, while he and Charlie hug as well.
“How you feeling?” he asks .
“I’m good.” Charlie brushes him off, taking off his jacket and sliding in beside me. I let my jacket spray around my hips as I reached for the beer glass. I don’t even care what it is at this point. I just need a drink.
“You look worse than I last saw you,” Kai says, somewhat jokingly.
“I’m good,” Charlie repeats, his arm hanging behind us on the back of the booth.
“Alright,” Kai surrenders. “Just want to make sure you didn’t get jumped or something.”
“Naw.” Charlie reaches for his own beer. “Who you dragging around?” Charlie nods at the wine glass with a pink gloss stain.
A sly look crosses over Kai’s face. “This girl I tattooed last week. She’s hot.”
“What happened to what’s-her-name?”
Kai just rolls his eyes.
“You order already?” Charlie hums with a snicker.
“Not yet.”
I take another sip of my beer and nearly choke on it when a woman with a sickly smile appears at Kai’s side.
“Sorry, the line was so long.” She drags out her O’s while her eyes land on me, attempting to stop a gag.
“Shit, Banks.” Charlie touches my back.
“I’m fine.” My voice comes out wiry.
“Banks,” she addresses me as Kai slowly stands, realizing I’m not going to choke to death. “What a coincidence.”
I swallow one more time as Avery slides into the booth beside me. Her short blonde hair is curled, and she managed to change out of her scrubs. Though if I clocked off thirty minutes early too, I might have been able to do the same .
Avery continues to smile as if I didn’t catch her like a deer in headlights the other day.
“You two know each other?” Kai sits back down.
Avery nods. “I’m a nurse. I guess I hadn’t mentioned that,” she murmurs then glances at Charlie. “You’re the cupcake guy.”
“Cupcake guy?” Kai lifts a brow.
“Charlie brings me cupcakes on my breaks sometimes.”
Kai laughs. “‘Course you do, Barnes.”
Charlie shrugs and we share a glance. I hadn’t told him about the locker room incident, but he caught how my body quickly tensed.
“Are you two siblings then?” Avery maintains her ability to play dumb.
“What gave it away?” I can’t help myself and luckily, she has the good class to laugh.
Saved by the waiter, I scoot a little closer to Charlie and away from Avery. Kai thinks nothing of it.
“What kind of nurse are you?” Kai asks Avery.
“General like Banks,” she says. “Ideally, I want to specialize though.”
“A nurse and tattoo artist,” I hum to myself but only Charlie catches it, his lips curling.
“Well, at least you’ll remember her name won’t you, Banks?” Kai jokes and Avery twists her neck.
“Sure will.”
Avery chooses to cut through the tension and zeros in on Charlie. “What happened to you?” she says curiously.
“I’m clumsy,” he answers, shortly, and she laughs.
“Good thing you’re tight with Banks.”
“Good thing,” he agrees .
Where the hell is this pizza?
“Is it possible we could talk you into bringing cupcakes for the rest of us once in a while?” she teases. “We’re always salivating over Banks,”
Charlie smiles. “Sorry, no can do. Banks exclusive.”
“You’re telling me you knew she worked with a bunch of single nurses and said nothing?” Kai raps at Charlie.
“I thought you were with what’s-her-name,” Charlie raps back.
Avery's perfectly plucked brows push together in confusion while I chuckle a little.
“The last thing I want is to let you loose on the nurses I work with, Kai.”
“He’s not so bad.” Avery beams at my brother and I somehow manage to find it in me to resist the urge to vomit as Kai smirks. “I still can’t believe you guys are siblings.”
“Should I feel wounded that my little sister isn’t bragging about her big brothers?” Kai wittily frowns.
“I forget the most interesting thing about me is being your sister, Kai.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Charlie adds.
“You’re so funny, Banks,” Avery giggles. “I had no idea.”
“I’m shy,” I deadpan, grabbing my beer.
Charlie’s arm falls from the top of the booth and settles on my shoulders, gently squeezing them before he lifts it back up. To anyone else, it would seem as if it was an accident, but to me, it instantly eased the growing anxiety.
“Do you know which doctor Banks is dating?” Kai throws out and I shoot him daggers .
“Oh,” Avery coos, glancing at me before turning her attention back to him. “You must mean Ryan. Dr. Stevens is one of our pediatricians. Real nice guy. Banks is lucky to have him.” She peers at me once more with stiffer eyes.
“When do we get to meet him?” Kai asks innocently.
“Never,” I quip, and Avery’s eyes widen.
“Don’t be like that, Banks,” Kai chuckles.
“Dr. Stevens and I are better off as friends.”
“Really?” Avery gasps. “So soon?”
Don’t do it.
You have enough drama as it is.
I shrug rather than let my petty side rear its ugly head as the pizza finally arrives. Avery ordered a salad with breadsticks, and I am reminded of the comparison she made to my hips being the size of a double wide. Suddenly, I’m not very hungry.
“Are you not hungry?” Charlie whispers, noticing after he had managed to scarf down two pieces, that I had barely touched mine.
I roll my shoulders again.
Kai and Charlie took over the conversation, talking about the next convention Kai had coming up. I was able to slide into the back of the booth and pray for it to end soon. I wanted to go home, take a shower, and go to bed. Tomorrow is my day off, and I intend to spend it sleeping.
Charlie boxed up the four leftover slices while we paid.
“I suppose I’ll see you at the hospital?” Avery says to me as we step outside.
“I suppose so.”
“Let’s have lunch one day next week?” she offers, and I don’t have time to say no before Kai interrupts .
“Don’t forget next weekend,” Kai says. “We’re going out.” He points at Charlie.
He scoffs with a nod. “Any excuse huh?” he grins.
“It’s your birthday. I am not letting you spend at home with Banks.”
Charlie winks at me.
“Next weekend.” Kai wraps an arm around Avery’s waist.
“Alright,” Charlie hollers after them.
I let out a long breath.
“I’m sensing you want to babble about her.” Charlie pulls me close.
“It’s nothing.” I try to ignore it. “Did you walk?”
He nods, and I pull my keys from my pocket. “Let’s go.”
Neither of us said anything as he followed me into my apartment, locking the deadbolt and chain behind him.
I start to take off my layers when I notice he’s heating the leftovers.
“Are you still hungry?” I wonder as he shrugs out of his jacket.
“It’s for you.” He turns, setting it on the coat rack. “I know you’re hungry.”
“I’m fine.”
I butt my toe against my heel and slide out of my shoes.
“Banks,” he sighs, and I walk into the bathroom, pulling off the turtleneck that hid the bruising on my neck that almost looks worse today than it did yesterday.
Standing there in a training bra, I find my eyes trailing down my stomach.
Were my hips really that big?
Did I need to join a gym?
Give up pizza and sweets for real ?
“What are you doing?”
I gaze up at the mirror to find him standing behind me. His heavy eyes stare into mine. I cross my arms over myself and turn, leaning against the sink.
“Nothing.” I look at the floor, ashamed of myself.
“Hey.” He steps closer, his finger dragging my chin up. “What’s going on?” he asks gently.
I already know what he’ll say.
Perfect to me.
I sigh, chewing on my cheek. “Last night when I was leaving the hospital, I overheard Avery and another nurse talking about Ryan and me. I know it’s just jealousy, but they said some pretty crappy things.”
“Like what?”
“That he probably just wanted to sleep with me.”
“And?” Charlie prompts.
“Just…” I inhale. “Just poking fun at my body is all. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”
Charlie glowers. “Is that why you didn’t want to eat? Because she was eating a salad and you ordered pizza?”
“No,” I say too quickly, and he gives me a look. “Not intentionally,” I confess. “I just… I don’t know. I was having a moment, okay? I’m a girl, it happens.”
“Banks.” He forces my arms apart and tugs me toward him. “There is nothing wrong with you. Not a thing. I want you to eat.”
“Can you try to understand for two seconds?”
“I understand,” he says, and then his demeanor shifts. “I understand that no one has ever made me as hard as you do,” his voice lowers, raspy like a smoker. His lips were now at mine as his eyes bore into my soul. “That your body is soft and feminine and tight everywhere it should be. I will lick every inch of your skin if I must convince you,” he husks. “Hell, I’ll do it away.”
I wet my lips, now feeling the buzz that is Charlie take over.
“If there was some machine.” He dips his head and kisses the edge of my jaw. “Where I could build the ideal woman.” Another kiss, trailing down my neck. “It would produce you.” Peck. “Don’t you dare starve yourself.” He sucks my skin between his teeth and I gasp. “Or change for any reason other than you want to.” He drops his lips to my shoulder. “This body houses the most kind and beautiful woman. No matter what it looks like, I will gladly worship every inch of it.”
“Charlie,” I wither. “You don’t have to seduce me.”
He takes the strap of my training bra between his teeth and drags it down my arm before he becomes level with me.
“Why wouldn’t I?” His stormy blue eyes demand. “I am telling you the truth, whether that gets me laid or not.”
“I’d give you me anyway.”
He frowns. “Just because I’ve had you doesn’t mean I don’t need to continue to work for you,” he almost snarls at me. “You’re not my property or an object I’ve won. You can say no to me, always.”
“I don’t want to say no.” I tangled my fingers in his shirt.
“It doesn’t matter. Never do anything with me because you feel obligated to,” he presses. “I need you to say it.”
“Charlie,” I cry. “I don’t feel obligated.”
“You always have a choice.” He softens a little. “I know you’ve felt like a prize to other men. You have never been a prize to me. ”
“So you aren’t holding out for my amazeballs blowjob skills?” I try to get him to smile, but he doesn’t. He only appears even more peeved with me. “I was trying to be funny.”
“It’s not funny to me,” he murmurs. “I want to make love to you because of how I feel about you, Banks. It’s not always about just having sex for the sake of it. And I want it to be consensual.”
I inhale, it doesn’t escape me the weight of what he just said but neither of us is ready for that.
“I don’t understand how you see me like that,” I admit. “But if it’s my choice, I would very much like it if you got in the shower with me,” I ask, now balling the fabric of his shirt in my hands.
He lightens to a playful smirk. “Turn the water on.”
He backs away from me and I reach behind the curtain. We strip away our clothes as he reaches into the cabinet.
“Hold on to this for me,” he cheekily mutters, shoving foil into my hand before picking me up and marching into the tub.
I laugh as he steps under the spray, silencing me with his mouth.