Chapter 13
Sky
"I knew this would be a disaster." Kahlo looks at me accusingly.
Of all people, he's the one who knew what he was asking of me. He led me into the lion's den, and now he, along with some of the employees who've given their all in the past days are forming a front. They stand there, lined up between clothing racks, sewing tables, and styling stations. None of the faces are smiling. Some shake their heads; others cross their arms. Some can't even look at me.
At least some employees scrutinize me with questioning looks, those who try to understand me. Nevertheless, I feel like the biggest failure of all.
"The presentation went great," I claim because I don't know what else to say. After all, my father made it clear more than once that you should never show weakness to employees. That's just how it is even though it feels strange.
"We presented one design less than announced, the Run of Show was all messed up, and that umbrella!" Kahlo comments sharply. "Do you think no one would notice? They'll swoop down on us like vultures."
The seamstress, the only one I still know from before, bites her lower lip and gives me a sympathetic look.
I look at her gratefully. "No, everything is fine. You were great, and I thank you all very much." My God, what am I talking about?
Kahlo runs his hand through his flowing hair. "For once, you're right. We were great." He gestures with his outstretched hand, drawing an arc over his colleagues and their work, which fills the backstage area to the last corner. "But you... you were definitely not."
I know. That's what I would like to say. I know I failed.
But how could I have gone on the runway? At least one of the countless press people out there would have recognized me. Despite my now red hair, I look like Mother's younger twin.
It would only have been a matter of time before they found out. And then they would have started digging into my past. They would have wondered where I suddenly came from. Where I have been for the past few years.
They would have uncovered what happened. And why.
No scandals at Touch av lyx . I wanted nothing more than to live up to my father's most important rule!
Kahlo knows it. He deliberately trapped me in this situation because he still hates me so much.
"Look at her, the little princess." Kahlo interprets my somber silence as an invitation to speak. "As soon as Gustav can't defend himself, she crawls out of her hole to ruin another show."
Something inside me breaks. I feel like bursting into tears on the spot, but I know I can't. Father has admonished me so many times to keep my emotions in check.
You're too soft , I hear his voice in my mind, and I blink away the rising tears resolutely. I glance briefly at Kjell, who leans against the wall.
He looks back at me with a wistful expression.
The tightness in my chest intensifies. "The show was a success." I sound composed, maybe even tough. It doesn't feel right, but it's necessary. "So thank you again. We'll see you at the headquarters on Monday."
And hopefully not before that. Today is Friday, and I have two days to prepare myself for my return, somehow, without Stig's help.
Before Kahlo can launch another attack on me, I turn on my heel and storm out of the backstage area. I leave Castello Sforzesco through the back exit.
I inhale the cool air like a diver who's been underwater for too long. Then I march forward. The movement feels good. Not as good as dancing, but it will have to do for now.
Since I learned about Father's accident, I've already faced several challenges, and I won't give up now.
My phone rings. Without slowing down, I pull it out of my pocket.
Aurora.
A painful burning sensation runs through my chest. I would love to answer and tell her everything. She would provide me with comfort and be there for me.
But Father would never forgive me for that.
With a heavy heart, I put the phone back in my pocket and continue hurrying down the street.
"Sky, wait!"
I spin around and spot Kjell. The camera hangs in front of his abdomen. He quickly puts on his jacket while running.
"Leave me alone," I shout at him because I can't reveal to him what just happened either.
He catches up with me. "Hey," he pants, grabbing my forearm to stop me.
I pull away. "What part of 'leave me alone' didn't you understand, hmm?" It's wrong to snap at him like this, but there are too many negative emotions inside me right now, and there's this pull on my willpower, ready to consume me entirely like a black hole.
I control my actions.
My venomous expression doesn't seem to impress him at all. I can't believe he's pulling this ridiculous grissini package out of his jacket pocket right now. It looks limp, yet he waves it in front of my face. "Why didn't you go on the runway?"
The tightness in my chest steals my breath. "The game is over."
"You could have saved the show, and what just happened would have been avoided," he says, shaking his head imperceptibly. His eyes reflect a whole range of emotions, and each one of them shows his inner turmoil.
Of course, he doesn't understand. No one but Kahlo knows the promise I made to Father.
"Even if I wanted to" I try to explain so he finally stops looking at me like that, "it just can't be done."
His expression remains unchanged, and with every passing second, I hate it more that I can't just tell him.
"Please," I whisper tonelessly, showing him all my despair.
Suddenly, something changes in his expression. The suspicion disappears, replaced by genuine concern. Warm concern. The kind that comes from the heart. And even though I wished for that so much earlier, it's actually worse than before.
I feel my heart racing, notice the warmth rising within me, feel the tingling sensation running through my body.
"Don't look at me like that. Please," I say with a husky voice. Because if he keeps looking at me like he's ready to catch me no matter how far I fall, something inside me will give way.
Instead of lowering his eyes, he intensifies our eye contact even more.
"No," I say with all my strength and break our eye contact. The last thing I need right now are confused feelings. I need to keep a clear head and focus on Touch av lyx or else my last chance to regain at least a part of my family will slip away.
I have to be smart and alert, but if I allow these chaotic feelings to take hold, I'll be anything but that.
"Why not?" Kjell asks, way too empathetically.
Without looking at him, I raise my hand. He has to stop. Why doesn't he understand that? "I'm going to leave now, and you won't follow me."
My tone causes him to take a step back with a disappointed expression.
He releases me.
If I could breathe, I would exhale. But that's still not the case. All I can do is escape from this situation. So I do the only right thing and march away on shaky legs.