Chapter 34
Kjell
Something has changed in Sky since her conversation with her mother. The gentleness has disappeared from her expression, and her jaw looks firm. She grips the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turn white, her gaze fixed stubbornly on the road. I follow suit, as I have no idea how to react to her change in mood.
The road is perfectly cleared, but a lot of snow is piled up along the edges. It reflects the sparse afternoon sun disappearing on the horizon ahead of us.
She remains silent, so I take the initiative. "Tell me. How was it?"
"Okay." She shrugs, her shoulders stiff.
"What did she say?" I reach for her upper arm, gently stroking it, my concern evident.
For a split second, she turns her head toward me, her eyes remaining closed. "All sorts of things."
Although I try to read her body language, I can't figure out what's bothering her. There are too many possibilities. "Did you find out the truth about the divorce?"
She nods absentmindedly, then massages her temples. Whatever she and her mother discussed seems to have left her confused. She can't seem to place it and doesn't know what to think.
"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," I say, stroking her arm once more. Of course, I would love to know if my idea of visiting her mother helped Sky find a bit more of herself. To gain a new perspective on her life and how her father treated her.
She activates the turn signal and steers the car onto the highway toward the airport. We pass a barren forest and a long, winding lake that quickly succumbs to darkness.
That's when I spot them.
Northern lights dance in an intense shade of blue-green across the sky. They illuminate the scene, bathing the winter world in a magical light. It's a spectacle rarely seen in Stockholm. I wish I could enjoy this sight, but Sky's silence weighs too heavily on my chest.
Throughout the drive, she continues to gaze at the play of lights on the horizon, nibbling on her lower lip and blinking suspiciously often.
"Your farewell looked like you had reconciled with each other," I try again, unable to bear her silence.
Her lips twitch upward. "Yes."
Yes? That's it? She won't tell me more?
Why?
I rewind in my memory. When we entered the house, everything was fine. Her strange behavior can't have anything to do with me.
She came out of the room when I was stretching my legs, and from that point on, she seemed like a frightened rabbit. Then at the farewell—yes, that's it—she lied to her mother. Why?
"Why did you claim we had urgent appointments and had to leave?" I ask her openly. "We don't have any appointments." At least none that I'm aware of.
Instead of answering me, she presses her lips together.
Her rejection hurts me. I don't want this distance between us; I want to be there for her.
"Listen..." I start hesitantly, searching for the right words to reconnect with her.
"Let it go," Sky shakes her head vigorously. "Please, Kjell, give me time to sort out my thoughts."
A pleading tone resonates in her words, almost sounding tearful. As if she couldn't bear all my questions.
She turns on the radio and cranks up the music so loud that we would have to shout to hear each other.
I withdraw my hand from her arm and sink deeper into my seat. Gazing out at the northern lights, I bite my tongue.
Something is seriously wrong here. The queasy feeling in my stomach intensifies, becoming a full-blown cramp. I try to breathe through it, but it doesn't help at all.
Because one thing would explain her behavior.
What if her mother recognized me?
No, please, not that. It can't be.
But even if it's something else, there's still a problem: with each passing day, the gap inside me grows wider. So far, I've managed to endure it, for Sky's sake. But right now, it seems like my lie is not even protecting her; it might be making everything worse.
Damn. What should I do now?
Confess to her. Right now.
Before everything falls apart. Or will it ultimately make everything fall apart?
When my phone vibrates in my pocket, I'm on the verge of a panic attack. Breathing shallowly, I pull it out. A new message from Jakob appears on the lock screen.
Damn, Kjell... are the first words that send a cold shiver down my spine.
Is it over now? Does Sanningens ?gonblick have to declare bankruptcy sooner than feared? Because I couldn't deliver enough high-selling articles for Ryktesspegeln ?
Fuck.
I hastily unlock the screen to read the rest of his message.
How could you betray me like this? it says, and now my blood freezes in my veins.