Chapter 36
Kjell
Jakob deliberately keeps me waiting. He hasn't responded to my messages, and he hasn't shown up at the office all morning. This is his way of punishing me, and dammit, it's working.
I stare at my laptop screen, trying to finish the article about that fitness influencer who allegedly lost weight only thanks to liposuction. But I can't concentrate.
There's Sky's closed-off expression and the constant silence during our return from her mother's yesterday. And then there's Jakob's message that has been haunting me since.
How could you betray me like that?
He knows. That's the only possible explanation for his words. Somehow, he found out that I lied to him.
Fuck. This is an absolute nightmare.
I run my hands through my hair. Too many thoughts are swirling in my head. They collide with my forehead, bombard the back of my head, pound at my temples.
My phone rings. Once again, Mother is trying to reach me. And for the first time, I wonder if she felt the same way all those years of my childhood. If she carried the same inner turmoil that drives one to madness. If she hated herself as much as I do today. Because she wanted to do everything right but couldn't see any other way out.
Thoughtfully, I turn the phone in my hands. What would happen if I answered? What would she say? And how would I react?
"Kjell."
That's Jakob's voice.
I put the phone away and lift my eyes. He's standing right in front of my desk. His expression is frozen, lips pressed together, body tense.
"Where were you? I've been looking for you all morning," I ask, as if that's somehow important now.
"Today, I'm the one asking questions," he replies, his tone matter-of-fact, as he lowers his gaze to me and demonstratively places a stack of photos on my desk. He lays the pictures out one by one in front of me.
There's me, entering the Blohm villa. Me, getting into the Blohms' car. Fortunately, you can't see Sky as she ducks in the passenger seat. And there's me again, kissing Sky in her short-haired wig in the doorway.
I stare at the photos in disbelief. "Are you spying on me?"
" I'm the one asking questions, remember?" He slams the last picture on the table.
It shows Sky—completely without disguise—and me. In the living room. Photographed from the terrace! To take this photo, someone must have sneaked onto the property!
"This can't be true. Are you out of your mind? How did you get these pictures?" I ask, feeling desperate.
"You've been lying to me? To me, your best friend?" He responds with disappointment, ignoring my questions.
Dammit, yes, I have. "I didn't want to—"
"Please, spare me that," he interrupts harshly. Then he leans over the desk and taps on the top photo. "It's quite a strange coincidence that there's nothing to find at the Blohms', yet you spend every free minute there, don't you think?"
Feeling powerless in the face of the situation, I run my hands through my hair. I screwed up. A massive screwup. I've known that for a while, not just today. But what else could I have done? Let Sky's father continue to dictate her life forever, leaving her never truly happy?
"I'm sorry," I reply, and at that moment, I experience what it's like to be on the other side of the equation. I know how my parents must have felt when I confronted them.
Pathetic. Guilty. And incredibly desperate.
"Oh, it's sorry now, is it? Then everything's fine," he spits out the words like spoiled milk. "Explain it to me, Kjell. I want to know why this woman means more to you than our friendship and our dream together."
"Because I love her," I reply without a second thought. Nothing has ever sounded so crazy and so right in my ears at the same time. But it's true. I've done all of this for her.
Jakob blinks up at the ceiling. "I can do research too, you know?"
"What did you find out?" I ask, alarmed. I've completely lost control of my feelings. I've lost control of everything, and I'm well aware of it even before Jakob answers.
"Your computer password," he fixes his gaze on me.
"You hacked my laptop? Are you out of your mind?" My voice trembles, and my thoughts along with it.
He knows everything.
Everything!
"That little Blohm is a once-in-a-lifetime story, you hypocritical traitor!" Jakob yells, ignoring my question. "How could you believe I wouldn't find out?"
Oh God.
How could you believe I wouldn't find out?
Those are my words!
That's exactly what I threw at my parents back then. I remember the feeling I had at the time. The deep-seated knowledge that no answer would ever be acceptable.
Jakob stands tall in front of me. "Either you write the story for Ryktesspegeln , or I will. You have until tomorrow to decide."
"No, I absolutely won't do that," I snap, springing up from my chair. "Who do you think you are to demand that from me?" Certainly not my best friend anymore. Maybe he once was, but the way he's acting now is anything but that. "And how dare you spy on me like that?"
"Well, I guess we're both in the same boat," he replies bitterly, and I can sense the truth in his words.
He's hurt. I'm hurt.
All because I wanted to do the right thing. Dammit, how did I get myself into this mess?
I raise my hands. "Listen to me, Jakob, please," I say.
He swallows hard. "Okay," he says, and then I tell him everything.
Every detail, he learns now. I spill it all out, telling him that I knew Sky long before our meeting at the hospital. About the prejudices I had against her and how she debunked each one over time.
About how I suddenly found myself deeply entangled in a web of lies, without understanding how I even got to this point. About how she allowed me to see into her soul and how it shifted everything I had ever believed in into a new light.
"She's been hiding for six whole years now, all because her father demands it," I explain emphatically at the end. "It's not good for her, but she needs to realize that."
Jakob sinks into a chair. "Oh, man..."
"She needs to confront her past, be herself, and understand that she can only live a free life if she comes out of hiding," I say.
"If that's the case, everything can be okay," Jakob looks at me hopefully. "Write the article; it'll take that burden off her."
"It's not that simple," I reply, even though I wish it were. I study him, see the exhaustion in his eyes. "She needs to take this step on her own."
"We can't wait for that," he replies in desperation. "We need the article now."
There's a finality in his words that makes me sit up and take notice. It's high time he told me the truth too. "Why? What's going on, Jakob?"
"I'm so sorry, Kjell. I don't want to pressure you." Suddenly, a tear rolls down his cheek. He exhales shakily, rubbing his eyes. "If I don't come up with the money, Merle will leave me."
His words are only a soft whisper, but they hang heavy in the silent room. We sit frozen, facing each other, and I don't know what to say or what to ask.
He leans forward and lets out a breath. "We've been trying to get pregnant for years."
"You need the money for a fertility clinic?" I ask, as that's the only logical conclusion.
He nods. "A child is her greatest dream. If we don't make it come true together, she'll..."
Immediately, I'm at his side, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. Despite all the mistakes we've made in the past few weeks, we're friends. He's been carrying this burden for months, and I can't imagine how it must have been for him to face this alone.
"I can't lose her," he pleads, looking at me with desperation in his eyes. "You have to understand."
I do understand. And it breaks my heart. "But I can't lose Sky either," I reply. "We need to find another way."
I think hard, turning our problem over in my mind, examining it from every possible and impossible angle. But no matter which way I look at it, one thing doesn't change.
Either Jakob will lose the love of his life or I will.
"Fuck," I exclaim, and that's not even close to what I want to say.
We need a solution, even though it seems there isn't one.
What if I don't wait any longer? What if I explain everything to Sky now, just like I did with Jakob?
Would she understand me?
Could she forgive me now and perhaps see this as an opportunity for her? I could persuade Jakob to publish the article in Sanningens ?gonblick . He could handle it with professionalism and sensitivity, helping Sky and the label. Whatever I write in my article about her, she'll approve every word.
Of course, only if she's ready for it.
She'll keep control, unlike if another journalist uncovers her truth.
I already know how many journalists would go to great lengths for Sky's story, and Jakob has proven that each of them can uncover her truth.