Chapter 23
Vanessa
“You look beautiful, Lisa.”
“Thank you. I was worried, but Cami came through for me and actually chose a dress I could use again.”
“Is Denise wearing the dress or the suit?”
“Who knows. She’s butch, so I thought she’d want to wear the suit, but she’ll probably choose the dress to spite me.”
“No matter what she decides, I’m sure she’ll look great.”
“Definitely. She’ll still be annoying, though.”
“Speaking of, she seemed halfway decent to you on the ride home from the spa last week. Did you two hash out your differences?”
“I wouldn’t go that far, but she admitted that she’s been a bit harsh to me in the past, and I conceded that I’ve always thrown my and Cami’s closeness in her face.” She shrugs. “It’s a start, I guess.”
“Good. I’m glad I won’t have to worry about you two murdering each other at the reception.”
I playfully bump Lisa out of the way so I can put on my own lipstick. She stands close, watching me with her top teeth tucked into her lower lip.
“What?”
“I want to talk to you about the starter ex stuff.”
“You want to stop?” I ask, my eyes lighting up as I spin around to face her.
Inwardly wincing at the traitorous eagerness in my voice, I stumble my way through a clarification.
“I mean, I’d understand, is all I’m saying.
I’m here to do whatever you want, and if it’s too much for you, we can figure something out. ”
What I don’t tell her is that the scheme is too much for me. Because my feelings for Jason aren’t platonic, and I’m bound to mess up everything if we continue this ruse.
“What? No, nothing like that. It’s just…today’s my best friend’s wedding, and I don’t want anything to sabotage it. So maybe lay off the antics for today.”
Oh, that’s not where I thought this conversation was headed.
She’s not rethinking the arrangement. My heart sinks, but I don’t give myself the space to contemplate how I would have responded if she wanted to call it off.
My feelings don’t matter. Lisa matters. Her happiness matters.
I’m doing this for her. With that reminder firmly in place, I ask, “Just be Jason’s date, you mean? ”
“Exactly,” she says, nodding. “Don’t start a conga line. Don’t twerk. Don’t serenade the bride and groom. Or tell embarrassing stories at your table.”
“But what am I supposed to do?”
She takes my hands in hers. “Just be yourself. Can you do that?”
I don’t even know what being myself looks like.
I’m always someone else. Always playing a role.
Someone more worldly. Someone not a few monthly paychecks away from being poor.
Someone not stressed. Someone happy. Someone who has no fucks to give.
Although most of the time I’m none of those things.
“In other words, be me without the shenanigans.”
“Just for today.”
“Okay.”
I don’t tell Lisa this, but I have my doubts that I can meet the challenge. I’ll try, though. And I’ll enjoy my time with Jason. Maybe even pretend we’re a real couple doing real couple shit. And then I’ll get back to being what Lisa needs: the person who’ll help her secure the man of her dreams.
Never mind that he may very well be the man of my dreams too.
“You both look stunning,” Jason says, greeting us in my building’s vestibule.
“Thank you,” Lisa says, twirling so he can get the full effect of her gown.
He pulls me to him and kisses my cheek. “Now your turn.”
“Hell no. You’re supposed to sneak glances at my ass when I’m distracted. I’m not just going to give the view away.”
“Of course,” he says, chuckling. “How silly of me. But in case my awestruck expression isn’t clear enough, you’re stunning, and I’m looking forward to spending time with you.”
I slide my hands down the lapel of his black suit jacket. “And you clean up real nice, I must say.” That’s an understatement, really. He’s heart-stoppingly gorgeous, and I’m sure he’ll be turning several heads throughout the day and evening.
Lisa clears her throat, her forehead creased as she swings her gaze between us. “We should get going.”
“Right,” Jason says, a flush creeping up his cheeks. “Cami arranged for a Lincoln and a driver. We’re over here.”
We all climb into the back of the car, Jason taking the middle. It’s a fitting place for him to be—even if he doesn’t appreciate the irony.
“Excited?” Lisa asks him. “Your little sister’s getting married today.”
“I don’t know that it’s sunk in yet. She’s heading to Chile soon after this, so my head’s all messed up. My baby sister’s grown, and it feels like it happened overnight.”
“Stop that,” I say, giving him a teasing grin. “You skipped favorite-uncle status and just went directly into dad mode.”
“Get used to it. It’s kind of how I feel. And don’t be surprised if I cry. It’s bound to happen, for sure.”
“Aww, poor baby,” Lisa says. “Don’t worry, we’ll be around to cheer you up.”
Jason turns slightly in my direction. “Just wanted to give you the heads-up that I might be leaving you alone from time to time. Wedding party duties and all that.”
“Of course. I expected to be on my own a bit, so do what you need to do. I’ll be charming and engaging and find people to help pass the time.”
“But don’t have too much fun without me. And save me several dances, okay?”
“My dance card tonight has only one name on it, and it’s yours.”
He takes my hand and squeezes it. “I like the sound of that.”
My and Lisa’s eyes meet, then she raises a brow.
Yeah, I’d be wondering what’s going on too.
But if she doesn’t want me to engage in any shenanigans today, I can’t very well be an asshole to him.
There’s not much I can do to assuage her concerns for the moment—with Jason between us, no less—so I let that look go for now.
Minutes later, we arrive at 3 West Club and find Denise pacing the lobby. Dressed in the tailored pantsuit Lisa created, her short hair buzzed on the sides and layered in waves on top, she’s as gorgeous as her brother. The genes are ridiculously strong in the Torres family.
She gives Lisa a small smile. “The suit is amazing. I should have told you that from the jump. Thanks for designing it.”
“You’re very welcome,” Lisa says softly. “It’s perfect on you.”
Straightening abruptly, Denise mumbles something about us looking nice, then tugs on Jason’s wrist. “It’s chaotic up there, and I can’t do it alone.
Mami and Nelson are crying. Cami’s crying.
Shit, the friggin’ makeup artist is crying, and I have no idea why.
Been waiting for you for what feels like forever. ”
“And so it begins,” Jason mutters as Denise pulls him away.
Lisa stares after them, then turns to me, her expression pensive. “You two are getting close.”
I laugh. “That was the plan.”
“Was it?” she asks, a smile dancing on her lips. “I thought you were supposed to be a terrible date so I could come in and sweep him off his feet.”
“You still can.”
“Can I, though? Is that what you want?”
“Yes, of course, Lili. That’s what I’ve always wanted.”
“Why? Because you think you don’t deserve him?”
“I was never meant to,” I whisper.
“And yet you’re falling in love with him anyway.”
There’s no anger in her voice, just resignation. It guts me. She didn’t ask for much, and I couldn’t even give her that. I let her down. Again. “I’m not falling in love with him, Lili.” Pleading with her to listen, I add, “He’s yours, I promise.”
She pats my hand as if I need to be mollified.
“Babe, only one of two things can be happening here: Either you’re lying to me, or you’re lying to yourself.
I think we both know which it is. Besides, there’s something else I never really considered when we went down this road: Jason can’t be mine if he doesn’t want to be mine.
And it’s pretty obvious he wants you to be his person. ”
“I…I don’t know what to say. We can still fix this, Lili. We can.”
“Is that truly what you want?”
I stare at her, unblinking.
She nods. “That’s what I thought. On that note, I need to join the rest of the wedding party.” She leans over and pulls me into her arms, then kisses my cheek. “Everything’s going to be all right, Vanny. A crack in the foundation isn’t going to tear down the whole house. We’ll talk later.”
What the hell does that even mean? I’m poised to ask her, but she’s already slipping away.
Fine. Until we can talk, I’ll just do my best to hold it together.
No drama, no theatrics, no nada. I’ll pretend all is well.
It’s my MO anyway. But Lisa’s wrong about one thing: Nothing’s okay.
Because even if she gave me her blessing to explore my feelings for Jason, I’d still be the villain in this story—and I always will be.
Jason
“?Ay, bendito! Te ves como un ángel.”
My mother’s right: Cami does look like an angel.
“Just wait until Bryan tears into her tonight,” Denise mutters beside me. “The devil will be working overtime.”
“?Cállate!” my mother warns.
“Must you poke her?” I ask Denise. “Even today?”
“I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t,” she says, her eyes twinkling with mischief.
Cami turns so everyone can see the full effect of her dress. She doesn’t appear to be nervous. Surprisingly enough, she’s the picture of serenity, even as the makeup artist messes with her face.
“I gave her an edible,” Denise tells me.
Of course.
My mother fans her face. “I will not cry. I will not cry. This makeup must stay on.”
“Do you need something, Ma?” I ask. “Water? Ginger ale?”
“Ay, mijo, I’m fine,” she says, basking in the attention. “Just a mother realizing her babies are growing up.”
I grin, thinking about Vanessa’s comment earlier. Yeah, I did sound like the doting, overdramatic dad. Unable to help myself, I look down at my phone screen and shoot off a text to her.
Me: You good?
Vanessa: Fine. I tend to attract uncles and grandpa types. Two are vying for my attention right now.
Me: Tell them you’re taken.
Vanessa: But I’m not.
Me: Kind of hate that.