Chapter 26
LIZZIE
After lunch I text Mum to say that I’m on the way, and she replies that they’re sitting in the back garden.
I’m so relieved, Mum must be feeling better then.
I decide to drive there, so I can go straight to the school to pick up the kids afterwards.
I grab the cards they made Mum on Monday and slip them in my bag.
Kenny’s car is parked outside the house so it looks like I won’t get time alone with Mum.
Again. I was already worrying about seeing Alison.
Every time I see her, or Kenny – although I know he was too young to remember me, and I hardly had any contact with him – the guilt overwhelms me and I live in fear that Alison’s going to remember me, guess what I did and tell everyone, but I can’t let that stop me from seeing Mum. She needs me to look out for her.
I shout over the gate, annoyed that Alison hasn’t returned my key yet. She has had plenty of time to have one cut. I’m starting to wonder if she’s doing it on purpose, to make me feel the outsider while she cosies up to my mum.
‘Coming,’ Kenny calls. I hear him unlock the bolt and the gate opens. ‘Hiya, Liz. Judith said you were on your way. How are you all?’
His big smile and friendly chatter puts me at ease right away.
‘We’re all good, thanks.’ I glance around and see Mum sitting in the comfy wicker chair from the conservatory, her feet up and a cushion behind her back.
There’s a glass of water and a half-eaten sandwich on the table in front of her.
Sheila is sitting beside her, chatting. Mum waves to me and I walk over to join them. There’s no sign of Alison.
‘How are you, Mum?’ I kiss her on the cheek and sit down on the empty chair beside her, my eyes anxiously scrutinising her face, noting the dark shadows under her eyes and her pallor.
‘I’m so tired, Lizzie. I can’t believe how much this fall has knocked me about. That and the tummy bug.’
I hold her hand in mine. It’s cold and clammy despite the warmth of the day. She has a blanket over her knees. I glance at the half-eaten sandwich. ‘Are you eating, Mum? You need to keep your strength up.’
‘I’m trying but I’ve lost my appetite.’ Her voice is very quiet, as if she hasn’t got the strength to talk. ‘Alison’s made me soup and plenty of hot drinks so don’t worry, I won’t waste away.’
‘Are you in a lot of pain?’ I ask her.
‘A bit, but that’s only to be expected.’
Sheila pats her hand. ‘Things take longer to heal when you get to our age, dear.’
Then I remember the kids’ cards in my bag. I open it and take them out, handing them to Mum. ‘Here’s the Get Well cards Isaac and Grace made for you.’
Mum’s face lights up as she looks at them. ‘Bless them, they’re so cute. I’ll put them on my bedside cabinet when I go back inside.’
Sheila looks over at the cards too. ‘Ah, they must have spent ages making those.’
‘They did. They love their nanny. They can’t wait to see you,’ I tell Mum.
Then the back door opens and Alison comes out. ‘Oh hello, Lizzie,’ she says brightly. ‘I thought you were too busy to pop in today. I know that your work is important, you have to keep on top of things, don’t you, in this online world. People are too quick to leave a bad review.’
That seems an odd comment when I’ve just had my first low review ever. Don’t be silly, why would Alison leave you a bad review? Anyway, ratings and reviews can only be left by people who’ve used the site.
‘I phoned Mum this morning and told her I’d pop in and see her before I picked the kids up from school,’ I reply.
‘Good idea not to bring the kids with you, Mum’s ankle is still swollen and if they knock it, it will be really painful for her. Now, can I get anyone a drink? I’ve got some homemade lemonade.’
‘Yes, please, dear,’ Sheila says. Mum agrees and I add, ‘That’s good for me too.’ But Kenny says he has to be off.
I watch Alison go back into the house, hoping Sheila will leave with Kenny so I can talk to Mum in private, I’ve only got an hour before I pick up the kids, but to my disappointment Kenny leaves alone, telling Sheila he’ll pick her up in a couple of hours.
‘He’s got a meeting, he only popped in to check if we needed anything,’ Sheila says.
Well, it looks like I’m not going to get a chance to speak to Mum alone.
I never seem to get the chance to do that nowadays.
Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe I shouldn’t tell her what I did.
Mum might feel that she has to tell George and then everyone will know, and I’ve no idea how they will take it.
They might all blame me, hate me. It could make things difficult for Mum too.
‘How are you doing with your walker? Are you managing to get around?’ I ask her.
‘I can a bit, but it’s rather tiring. When I feel a bit stronger Alison is going to take me to the shops in a wheelchair. She said she can borrow one from the hospital. It would be nice to get out a bit.’
‘That would be great. I can fit a wheelchair in my car, you can come over for an hour and see the kids.’
‘I look forward to that. Will you bring them to see me from school tomorrow?’ she asks. ‘I do miss them.’
‘I think it’s a bit soon…’ Alison has returned with our cold drinks on a tray.
I’m determined not to let her keep overruling me. ‘Nonsense, it will be good for Mum to see them. They’ve always been very close.’ I take the glasses from the tray and hand one to Mum.
‘You’ll have to excuse me if I seem to be overprotective, Lizzie.’ Alison swallows, her eyes holding mine. ‘But when you lose your mum young, like Kenny and I did, I guess it makes you that way. I’d hate anything to happen to your mum.’