Chapter 45
LIZZIE
Jodie and I sat up quite late talking last night, she listened to all my fears and agreed with my decision to tell Mum, and Nick when he comes back home, everything.
‘It’s the only way you’re going to get closure on this,’ she told me.
‘And they will all understand, no one will blame you for something that happened when you were Isaac’s age.
’ She’s used Isaac as an example on purpose, to drive it home that I was very young and didn’t know the results of my perfectly normal childish actions. And she was right.
I’ve just drained my coffee cup the next morning when a message pings in from Mum, telling me that she feels a lot better today and could I pop in and see her at some point.
‘Here’s your chance to tell her everything.’ Jodie reaches across the table and squeezes my hand reassuringly. ‘The kids will be fine with me. You’ll feel a lot better once you’ve got this out in the open.’
I look at her gratefully. ‘I know. Thanks for the pep talk last night and for looking after the kids. Are you sure though? You’ve got your own kids too and Freddie’s being so fretful.’
‘The more people are around the better he is. Besides, Rob will be home after lunch and he’ll help. And no, he won’t mind you being here,’ she adds, pre-empting my next question. ‘Now get a shower and off you go. You’re doing the right thing.’
So half an hour later, I’m driving to Mum’s house, determined to tell her everything and hoping she will understand.
She’s the only one who can help me with this.
Thank goodness George is at work so there’s no chance of him overhearing.
Of course the whole bloody family might be there, but hopefully we’ll find a way for us to talk alone.
Alison looks surprised when I let myself in. ‘Mum said you were coming, Lizzie, but I wasn’t expecting you so early. She’s in the garden again getting some fresh air,’ she adds.
‘Thanks, I’ll go out to her,’ I say already heading over to the back door. Obviously Mum wants to talk in private, but I doubt if Alison will leave us alone for long.
Mum smiles up at me, and I lean over and kiss her cheek. ‘How are you, Mum?’
‘I’m feeling stronger.’ Her eyes meet mine and I can see urgency in them. ‘I need to talk to you, Lizzie.’
I’m immediately alarmed. What’s so important that Mum needs to talk to me? She does look stronger though, there’s a bit of colour to her cheeks.
‘What is it?’ I ask. She shivers as a breeze blows past. ‘Do you need a blanket?’
‘I’ve got her one. I do think you should come inside, Mum, there’s a nip in the air today,’ Alison says, rushing over to us with a blanket. Having a private conversation with Mum is going to be difficult as my new stepsister obviously intends to stick around.
‘I’ll be fine. I want some fresh air,’ Mum says.
‘I’ll load the washing machine then I’ll make you both a hot drink.’ Alison heads off back to the house.
‘I need to say this quickly before she comes back out.’ Mum holds my hands, her eyes fixed on my face.
‘Lizzie, darling, the woman who died on that school trip all those years ago was George’s wife, Carol.
Alison and Kenny’s mother. I found out a few days ago, Sheila told me the details of how Carol died, the amusement park they were at, and the date and venue match.
’ She rubs my hands gently. ‘I wanted to tell you before you learnt from anyone else because I know it will come as a shock and will bring everything back.’
I gulp and nod. ‘I know, Mum. I recognised Alison right away. And I think she recognises me.’
Mum looks flabbergasted. ‘Then why on earth haven’t either of you mentioned it?’
I swallow. I should have told Mum this years ago. I have no idea how she’s going to take it now.
‘There’s something you don’t know,’ I say. I glance over my shoulder towards the house to make sure Alison is still inside. Then I tell Mum all about the part I played in Carol’s death.
She looks shocked, and my heart plunges to my feet. I squeeze my eyes tight feeling the panic rising. This is why I didn’t tell her.
Then I feel the warmth of her hands as she wraps them around mine, and I open my eyes. Her face is full of sympathy, her voice tender. ‘Oh Lizzie, have you been blaming yourself for this all these years? It wasn’t your fault, darling. You couldn’t possibly have known what would happen.’
Relief gushes through me and for a moment I can’t speak.
When I find my voice again I say, ‘I think Alison blames me for it though. She knows I was eating peanut butter sandwiches. I think she guessed at some point that the crusts were mine, or someone else saw me do it and told her. That’s why she’s trying to keep me away from you.
And I think she’s making you ill to get her own back.
Because I was the one who caused her mum to die. ’
Mum looks at me and I wait for the words ‘Lizzie, darling, you’re being paranoid again.’ Instead she nods her head slowly.
‘You might be right. After what you’ve told me things are finally making sense.’ She raises her eyes to mine. ‘Please don’t tell anyone else about this, Lizzie. We need to think carefully what to do. I fear that someone is putting something in my food to make me feel drowsy.’
I gape at her. As I mentioned, I’d been suspecting that Alison was doing something of the sort, but now Mum thinks it too I’m positive that’s what’s happening. I hug her tight. ‘I think you should come home with me. You’ll be safer there.’
But I remember the peanut butter and the unlocked back door and how I suspected Alison of sneaking Mum’s key to our house and letting herself in. It seems even more probable now.
Maybe Mum isn’t her only target. Maybe Alison’s trying to destroy both of us.