Chapter 41
Chapter
Forty-One
JO
-the first time I ever I saw your face-
The shower is heaven. I relish the feeling of the hot water pounding down my back, washing away the grime and terror of the last few hours.
The steam curls around me like a protective cocoon.
My muscles finally begin to unclench, and I let myself take the time to breathe deeply, to let the relief seep in.
I linger longer than I probably should, treasuring the mundane luxury of soap and heat, knowing first hand now how quickly everything can change and those little luxuries can be taken away.
By the time I finally step out of the shower, I feel lighter.
Like I am starting to be rebuilt, somehow, in small, careful increments.
I wrap myself in a towel and go to the drawer where I keep the softest, most comfortable shorts and tank tops that I own. The ones I wear as pajamas. I choose my favorite set, made from cotton. I pull them on, and the cool, buttery soft material feels like a familiar and dear hug.
I comb my wet hair before I tug it up into a messy bun.
For a moment, I just stare at myself in the mirror.
The cut on my temple is just a thin line, but I can still feel the ghost of it under my fingers.
I trace it lightly, thinking not of Sheldon, but of Axel, and how close we came to losing everything.
And then I remember he’s here in the house. Somehow, after everything, the thought of finding him makes my heart speed up again, not from fear this time, but from anticipation.
I leave my room in my pajamas, and I wander down the hallway quietly, my bare feet soft on the floorboards, listening for him.
I hear the faint hum of a TV from what I assume must be his suite.
The door is slightly ajar, and I lean around it, peeking in.
I find Axel lying on his back on the bed.
He is wearing grey sweats and nothing else.
The remote control for the TV is in one hand, and the other one is resting on the mattress beside him.
He looks up, sees me, and smiles. That smile, oh God, that smile.
It makes my chest tighten in a way that’s completely different from the fear of yesterday.
“Hey,” he says softly, patting the space beside him on the bed.
I smile back, my heart fluttering, and I cross the room and lie down in the space beside him.
The warmth of him, the scent of his freshly showered skin, the steady rhythm of his breathing.
It all feels like safety. Like home. I can’t believe I thought I could seriously leave these precious feelings behind.
I settle beside him, leaning against his shoulder, letting my body melt into the weight of him.
I feel the last of the tension of the day leave me as Axel strokes my hair.
“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I need to say it. I’m in love with you,” he says, the words low, certain, vibrating in my chest as much as they do in my ears.
I raise my head to look at him, my eyes locking with his. “I know.”
He brushes a hand over my arm, gentle but firm. “I’ll wait. As long as it takes. You’ll see that I won’t leave you – we’ll make it work. I won’t hurt you. Ever.”
Something inside me swells at that. Every doubt I had, every hesitation about moving here, about us, it feels insignificant compared to the way he’s holding me right now, the way he’s made me feel safe when everything else seemed impossible.
“I’m head over heels in love with you, Axel,” I say softly. “And if you’re willing to jump in front of a bullet for me, the least I can do is move here to be with you.”
He grins, that slow, teasing curl of his lips that makes me melt. And then he pulls me close, brushing a hand through my hair, and I realize I’ve never wanted to be closer to anyone in my entire life.
“I have something else to tell you too,” I murmur.
He lifts his head slightly, looking down at me, curious and amused.
“Oh? What is it?”
I smile, a little shy but brimming with certainty. “You can stop looking for someone to produce your heir.”
He laughs softly, the sound rich and relieved. “Obviously. I don’t care about the money, Jo. I just want you. With you by my side, I can build it all up again.”
I grin, my heart pounding. “Good. Because they did some tests at the hospital, just to make sure I really was ok. And it seems I’m carrying our heir. It’s very early, but we’re going to have a baby.”
His eyes widen with incredulity so much it makes me laugh.
“What the…” And then he’s pulling me up into a joyful kiss. It’s sweet and full of laughter, raw exhilaration spilling into it, our happiness finally allowed to exist without the shadow of fear.
We pull back, still holding each other, our faces inches apart, and we just laugh together, the sound bouncing off the walls, echoing a freedom we never thought we’d feel again.
We are safe. We are together. And for the first time in a long time, I am completely, undeniably happy.