Chapter 29
T he twins and Touron had initiate training with Orix, and Levi had a meeting, although he didn’t elaborate with who or about what, and I didn’t feel it was my place to ask. But Shar, Curi, and Derek were free to accompany me to Yarrow’s to see Melanie.
By the time we headed out, the campus was quiet, as most goyles were in class or on the training field.
My gaze went to the dome of the omega den, off-limits to everyone but the omegas that lived there.
These females’ purpose was to find mates among the strongest, most promising goyles—those who’d made it into the academy.
Their goal was to procreate. Their omega moon coincided with the sidhe moon, and as my luck would have it, I’d entered the academy at a time when there were two sidhe moons in a row.
Two omega runs, two chances that Curi would miss finding his mate. The first my fault and the second fate’s.
Up ahead, Shar and Derek chatted easily, walking side by side, the backs of their hands brushing now and then but neither making the move to take the other’s hand.
“How long do you think before they take the next step?” Curi asked.
“I don’t think it’ll be too long.”
“I envy them. They get to choose.” He was silent for several seconds, then, “Do you think…Do you think you could have ever chosen me, if you’d had the freedom to do so?”
My heart climbed into my throat. “Curi…”
He exhaled raggedly. “I need to know, Cameron. I need to know that I’m not fucking crazy.”
Our pace slowed, and Derek and Shar pulled ahead.
“I can’t answer that, Curi.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
“It wouldn’t be fair to?—”
He gripped my shoulders and propelled me off the path and up against a tree, his large body dwarfing mine. My heart lurched, throat pinching at the wretched conflict on his face.
“Tell me, Cameron. If there was no fate bond. If there were no pheromones or needing, would you want me? Could there ever have been a chance for us in a world like that?”
The answer should be no. No was the right answer, the safe answer, but the knots in my stomach and the hummingbird in my heart wouldn’t allow me to lie.
“Yes.” The word was an explosion, a release of a truth that I’d been denying for some time.
“If there was no fated bond, if my heart didn’t already belong to Serath, if we were free of it all, then yes, I think I could have loved you.
But Curi…the fact is that Serath does exist, and he…
He has my heart. He will always be my first choice, even if I can’t be with him.
And you…You deserve to be someone’s first choice too. ”
His exhale mingled with mine as he dropped his forehead to my temple. “Thank you. Thank you, Cameron.”
I blinked back tears and fisted my hands against the urge to hold him. “I’m sorry…”
“Don’t be. This…this helps.” He pressed a rough kiss to my head and released me, backing up. “We’d best catch up to the others.” He smiled, but it barely reached his eyes. “Wouldn’t want them getting the wrong idea.”
I took a shuddering breath to free myself of his intoxicating scent then followed him back onto the path and toward the main building, my stomach still in knots because what we’d failed to touch upon was my fae nature and my needing.
It was in control now that I had a tincture, but what would happen when it stopped working?
What would happen if I didn’t find a permanent solution to my need for sex?
“Now she may be a little confused,” Flora said as she led us to the crystal room. “So give her some time to gather her thoughts.”
I fingered the vial in my pocket, the one that Willowman had gotten for me all those weeks ago to help Melanie with her memories of the past. Once I administered it, Melanie would not only be able to tell us what happened that night in the filing room, but she’d also have the memories from her life back.
Yarrow joined us, coming from the direction of the kitchen. He was still in his PJs, gown thrown over the top and mug of coffee in his hand.
“We don’t want to overwhelm her,” he said. “Best if only Cam goes in.”
“No,” Derek and Curi said together.
Yarrow’s brows shot up. “I appreciate your desire to protect, but if you want information, then you need to tread carefully.”
He was right. I didn’t want to spook Melanie, which was ironic considering she was a ghost. “I’ll be fine alone.”
“After what happened the last time?” Curi looked skeptical.
“She was going ghoul, but she’s fine now. Just…skittish. She won’t hurt me.”
“No, she won’t,” Derek said. “Because I’m coming with you, my Cameron. I am your shield, a part of you, and I lived in the same room as Melanie for several days.”
“He has a point,” Sharniza said. “I think we’d all feel better if you took him with you.”
“Okay.” I smiled up at Derek. “Let’s do this, buddy.”
Flora produced a key and unlocked the door. “Good luck.” She looked nervous, understandable because the answers I came out with would affect her too.
We were about to find out who’d messed with both their heads.