Chapter 13
Thirteen
The night after his discussion with Selina, Dominic went drinking with Austin at his favorite gentlemen’s club. Despite the jovial ambience, he felt an ache inside of him. That ache is loneliness and dread in anticipation of another unhappy marriage.
He had managed to avoid his new wife for the entire day, even though she constantly haunted his thoughts.
When he had tried to visit his son during lunch time, Percy only glared up at him.
He supposed anger was better than fear when it came to emotions from his son. But it was hardly an improvement.
Now he sat at a table in the corner of the main room of the club with Austin. Lively conversation and music surrounded them, but Dominic did not feel like joining in. Everyone else must notice his foul mood, because they steered clear of the table where he sat with his friend.
They are still watching me, though. Every time he looked up, he saw people quickly look away from him, their faces either unusually pale or red. They might be avoiding his gaze, but they had no problem staring at him when he wasn’t looking.
Perhaps I should start drinking at home instead of in the club.
Austin, however, either didn’t notice his mood or didn’t care. He simply sipped his drink.
“I think the club has procured a new whiskey seller,” he said, raising his glass to better examine the amber liquid.
“This one is different from its usual taste. It’s better.
” He raised his eyebrows at his friend. “And if you do not tell me why you are scowling so deeply, then I’m afraid I will have to prattle on about the whiskey. For hours.”
Dominic took a sip of his own drink. He personally could not taste any difference in the alcohol from the last time he was here.
However, he did not frequent the clubs as often as Austin did.
“I am not scowling any more than usual. You forget that I do not walk around with a false smile pasted on my face like so many people in the ton.”
His friend smirked and held up his glass. “I think I taste a hint of oak in this brew—”
Dominic pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “All right. Please, stop.” He would go mad if he listened to Austin pretend to have a sensitive and sophisticated palate. However, he appreciated his friend at the same time.
The Velvet Duke had been a loyal friend for the past year, despite Dominic’s unpleasant demeanor. Austin was also rarely intimidated by the Duke of Greystone, and he was never scared off for long. Dominic knew he was lucky to call him a friend.
The Duke of Windermere grinned triumphantly. “Then please elaborate on why you suddenly invited me out drinking while you look like someone spat in your tea.”
Dominic sighed, knowing he would have to discuss it at some point, or he would simply go mad. “I think I made a mistake, marrying Selina,” he said. “Percy is not taking it well, and even though I tell myself I married her for Percy, I worry I did it for more selfish desires.”
He couldn’t stop thinking about the way her lips tasted when they were in the woods during the Duke Hunt. He had barely tasted them on their wedding day, and he wanted more. He could get addicted to the taste of her.
More than once, he had also thought of how she had looked in only a loose corset, tangled in his blanket, with his body on top of her. It was a tantalizing memory, one that sent blood rushing to his…
He took a quick sip of his drink, as if the burning sensation from the whiskey could somehow cool him down.
Austin watched him with a knowing smile on his face. “When you say selfish desires…”
Dominic glared at his friend. “You know precisely what I mean.”
Austin smiled broadly. “Of course I do. I’m well acquainted with those desires, but I hardly consider them selfish.”
“You do not have a son to think about.”
“Perhaps not.” Austin leaned forward. “You needed to marry her. She would have been ruined if you had refused, and helpless. There is no love between her and Lady Gillray, who would not hesitate to turn her out on the street if she had been compromised. Who knows what foul fate would have awaited her after that?”
Dominic did not like the thought of Selina being turned out on the street, especially for something that was not truly her fault.
However, she would have certainly found a way to take care of herself.
“I doubt there is anything that woman could not overcome,” he murmured.
But even as he said it, he knew he was glad he had been able to spare her that hardship.
“She also saved Percy, did she not?”
Dominic grimaced. He could still vividly recall that horrifying scene of his son standing on the balcony ledge. It looked like something out of his nightmares. “She did,” he admitted. “I owe her a great deal for getting him down peacefully and without injury.”
“Then perhaps you should pay her back by giving her some slack,” he said.
“That is difficult to do when my son’s happiness is at stake,” Dominic said. “Marrying Selina could potentially make things with him worse than ever.”
His friend raised his eyebrow at him. “When was the last time you heard Percy speak?”
Dominic stayed quiet. He didn’t need to answer because Austin knew just as well as he did that Percy hadn’t uttered a single word since his mother died.
“It seems like things are already really bad with Percy. I do not think they can get that much worse. Not permanently, anyway.” Austin shrugged and took another sip of his drink.
“If nothing has worked in the last year, then perhaps it is time to try a different approach. Perhaps Selina will be just what he needs to find his voice again.”
Dominic ran his fingers through his hair; he was skeptical. “He is not happy about me remarrying. He misbehaved yesterday, during dinner.”
“He needs time to get used to everything.”
“Selina thinks I should be more involved in his life. How am I supposed to do that when he is scared to be in the same room as me?”
His friend sighed. “I think you will have to find a way if you want to hear him speak again.”
“Percy, honey, can you come out from under the bed, please?” his nanny pleaded softly. “Her Grace wants to see you.”
“There’s no need to call me that,” Selina said. “My name, Selina, works just fine.”
“Begging your pardon, Your Grace.”
Inwardly, Selina sighed. She wondered if she would ever get used to being addressed so formally in her own home. “Let me talk to him, please.”
The nanny moved out of the way so Selina could kneel on the floor, next to Percy’s bed. The little boy was lying on the ground, peering up at her. The lower half of his face was covered with his arm, so she could not discern what he was feeling or thinking.
“Good morning, Percy,” she said softly. “I know you do not wish to talk to me, right now, and that is all right. I do not expect you to be happy about your father remarrying. I just want you to know that whatever you’re feeling right now is all right.
You can be angry or sad, or confused—or all three.
I hope that we can eventually become friends.
Whenever you are ready, I will be here for you. ”
Percy did not move from under the bed. But his brow furrowed slightly before he ducked his head, covering his face completely with his arm.
Selina felt dejected, but she did her best not to let it show. He needs time. I can give that to him. She stood up and looked at the nanny. “Thank you,” she said simply before leaving Percy’s bedroom.
The nanny curtsied as she left, and Selina grimaced. It was surreal to be treated so formally by anyone after years of being treated like an unwanted menace by Lady Gillray.
Selina had decided to leave Percy alone for an entire day, so yesterday, she had not bothered him.
Instead, she had spent that day learning more about what duties were expected of a duchess outside of motherhood.
She also found a book about recovering from grief in the library.
She had opened it up, hoping it would help with Percy, but it only made her think of her brother, so she ended up putting it back.
Today, she had hoped she would be able to coax Percy into playing with her, or at least spending time with her, but one day was clearly not enough for him to want anything to do with her.
She knew she needed to give him time, but it was a difficult task.
She did not like seeing the boy upset any more than his family did.
Besides, I fear that if I do not make progress with him soon, Dominic will only grow more irate with me.
Selina felt frustrated, and she knew there was only one thing that would really help her clear her mind. She stopped a maid in the hallway. “Where is the kitchen?” she asked.
The maid looked at her as if she had asked where they kept the three-headed dragons. “I—it is downstairs, Your Grace,” she said. “The stairwell at the end of the hallway will lead you there.”
“Thank you,” she said.
Selina strode quickly down the hallway and into the kitchen, where one scullery maid was busy peeling potatoes, and another one was washing dishes from breakfast. “I would like to cook,” Selina said.
“I require privacy, please. You two may take some time to rest if you wish. And if you see the cook, then tell her the same.”
“The cook is out, Your Grace,” said one of the maids, who quickly dropped into a curtsy. “She needed to go into town. However, we will be happy to prepare anything that you wish.”
“You misunderstand,” Selina said patiently. “I am not looking to eat. I am looking to cook. Please, take the morning off. I will be using the kitchen.”
The maids looked at each other, unsure, but Selina arched her eyebrows.
“I am the duchess, am I not?” she said patiently. “That means I can do what I please in my own home, and I want to cook something. Do not worry, I will be able to find everything I need, and I will not leave the kitchen in a mess. Now, enjoy your morning off.”
The maids scurried off, and Selina breathed a sigh of relief. Cooking and baking always made her feel better. She found an abandoned apron hanging on a hook in the corner and tied it over her morning dress before she got to work.
It did not take her long to find everything she needed to make lemon cake, one of her favorite desserts.
She already felt herself relax marginally as she arranged her workspace.
Cooking had always brought comfort to her in finishing school, and now it brought a sense of familiarity in this strange world called Greystone Manor.
A lemon aroma filled the air, and she breathed it in with a small sigh of contentment. As she mixed ingredients together, she heard the soft sounds of small footsteps on the stone floor. She looked up to see Percy watching her cautiously from the doorway of the kitchen, curiosity plain on his face.
She smiled at him. Perhaps the boy had followed her in here. At least he looked curious instead of angry. “Have you ever seen someone bake anything before?” she asked. “Perhaps you have sneaked into the kitchens once or twice to watch people? It is all right if you have. I will not tell.”
He shook his head no.
“It is a pity,” she said. “It is fun to watch. Cooking is almost like magic. Do you want to help me?” she asked.
“I would greatly appreciate it if you passed me a wooden spoon.” She pointed to the tool in question, which was currently lying a little ways from her on the table.
“It is so far away. It would be a huge help if you grabbed it for me.”
He did not move from his place, but a small furrow entered his brow as he looked at the spoon.
After a moment, she sighed theatrically. “Oh well. I was planning on making lemon cake for everyone to share, but since no one wants to cook with me, or eat food with me, I think I will make onion pie instead.”
He gave her a look of horror before coming closer to her and grabbing the wooden spoon.
He looked at it as if it were a strange instrument before handing it to her.
Selina smiled but was careful to keep her delight hidden as she took the wooden spoon.
If she made too big a deal of this, then she might end up scaring him off accidentally.
“Thank you,” she said.
He looked down, away from her, but a ghost of a smile touched his face for a moment.
Good. Anything that makes you smile is a good start. Selina cracked open an egg and added it to the cake mixture, then stirred the batter with a spoon. “Now, watch closely, and you will be able to make lemon cake any time you wish for it.”
Percy watched as she mixed the ingredients together and turned them into a smooth batter. He pointed to the spoon.
“Do you want to stir?” Selina asked. He nodded in response.
Holding back her happiness, she handed him the spoon.
I should really make him roll up his sleeves to keep them from getting dirty, but I do not want to destroy this moment by ordering him around. Oh well. A little bit of mess will not hurt. Not this once.
Percy carefully stirred the batter. His movements were clumsy and unsure at first, but with Selina’s gentle guidance, he grew more confident.
“Good job!” Selina praised. “You are doing so well! Do you want to taste the batter?”
He looked up at her, as if shocked by her suggestion. She smiled. “All good chefs and bakers taste their food as they go. It is how they know they are doing a good job. So, would you like a taste?”
He nodded eagerly.
She grabbed a spoon and took out only a little bit of batter, so he would not get sick, and handed it to him. “Here you are.” She grabbed a small spoonful for herself as well.
Percy cautiously tasted the batter before his face broke out into a smile from the sweet, pleasant flavor. Selina’s heart soared at the sight. Maybe there was hope for them after all.