Chapter 27
SERATH
“Why didn’t you tell her the truth?” Willowman asks. “Why didn’t you tell her you only kissed Jana so that she wouldn’t suspect you had someone else and start digging?”
I’d been so close to telling Cameron. To defending myself but… “It’s better this way.”
“You think this will keep her away from you?” Orix asks.
“If she’s hurt…If she hates me, she’ll steer clear.”
“And fall into someone else’s arms?” Prasan says.
I bite back a snarl and force my beast down. “Whatever it takes to keep her safe. To keep her alive. Jana was a blessing in disguise. This works. This can work.”
“Cameron won’t take a lover,” Selas says. “Not yet, maybe not for a very long time. All you’ve done is hurt her.”
“Hurt is better than dead.”
“Oh, Serath…” Selas says softly. “And what happens when she does take a lover? How will you control yourself then?”
“When that happens, I’ll make sure I’m long gone. Once we have Romi back, I’ll step down as elite and get reposted.”
Stunned silence greets my declaration.
I can’t believe I’ve voiced the plan that’s been flitting around in my head ever since my interlude with Cameron in the observatory.
The pull between us is too strong.
It’ll get worse the longer we’re together.
“Once we have Romi back, she can leave,” Orix says. “There’s no need for you to go.”
“No. I won’t reunite them just to force them to part.”
“You might not need to,” Selas says. “Romi may not be capable of taking back his elite spot.”
There are too many unknowns right now. “The only thing I can be certain of is that if a distance isn’t enforced between us, then we will fail. The pull between us is too strong, and our will to resist too weak. Hate will keep her from me.”
“Dammit,” Orix says softly.
I’m suddenly bone weary. “Can you two handle her training for the next week? Lionel put me in charge, but he won’t know any better if we don’t tell him.”
“Of course,” Selas says.
“I’ll help too,” Prasan says. “I’m so sorry, I should have remembered to pass on Cameron’s message.”
I pat his shoulder as I walk past. “Get some rest.”
The image of Cam’s distraught face plays over and over in my mind’s eye. I’ll never forgive myself for hurting her.
But at least this way I won’t be the cause of her demise.