Chapter 39
E veryone looked up from their breakfast when I walked into the dorm kitchen. My neck grew hot beneath all the scrutiny. Curi wasn’t here yet, thank the gods. It gave me time to prepare myself to face him after I’d tried to rip his clothes off. Urgh.
“Hey.” I raised a hand, feeling suddenly awkward. How much of my wanton behavior had everyone here seen? Fuck, this was uncomfortable, and I still had explanations to do.
Derek crossed the room and put his arms around me, pulling me against his shadowy yet solid chest.
“You okay now, my Cameron,” he said. “You okay. You not hurt. You safe.”
He was right. I was okay. I was safe. These were my friends, and they didn’t give a shit how I’d acted. I was being a dick.
“Thank you.” I closed my eyes and allowed him to hold me for a few moments longer.
“Now you eat breakfast and be strong for the test.” He pulled away and looked down at me with his bright diamond eyes. “Today we work together.”
I smiled up at him. “Yes, we will. Are you excited to get out there and test your power?”
He grinned, flashing fang. “I’m excited to protect my Cameron.”
“And kick some ass?”
“And kick some ass.”
I joined the others at the table, taking the only vacant seat next to Sharniza. Touron passed me a mug of coffee. I grabbed some bacon and toast.
“Feeling better?” Palia asked from across the table.
“Yeah. I…We’re not sure what happened.” I filled them in on what Willowman had said and how we’d ruled out the possibility of a drug, leaving the explanation to strange developments.
“Do you think it might happen again?” Touron looked worried.
“I don’t know. But I do know that as long as I stay with you guys, I’ll be safe.”
“You should speak to Curi,” Sharniza said.
My stomach quivered. “Yeah, I owe him a huge thank you. He could have taken advantage, and he didn’t, and believe me, I begged him to.
Urgh.” I covered my face with my hands. “I can’t even…
” I took a breath and sat up. “I’ll just tell him the truth about my weird episodes and that Willowman is looking into it and—”
“He knows,” Shar said.
“Oh, you guys told him. I guess he must have had questions. Okay, good then—”
“No, Cam, he knows about Serath.”
My pulse skipped. “What?”
“He figured it out,” Touron said. “Serath came to get you and…well, you two together, with you in that state…”
“Pheromones,” Palia said, her tone grave.
“Then Selas questioned him and…well, she asked us to fill him in.”
“We can trust him,” Sharniza said.
Yes…yes, we could. He’d proven that, but I’d wanted to keep him out of this. I’d hoped to keep his conscience clear, but now…
I pushed back my chair. “I’ll meet you guys at class.”
* * *
Curi let me into his room without a word. His blue hair was loose and fell around his face in messy waves that highlighted the slight puffiness around his eyes that said he hadn’t slept well.
The drapes were still closed, so the room was gloomy and gray. The bed was rumpled and unmade, and when I inhaled, I got a lungful of Curi’s scent and something else…Me. This room smelled like me.
My stomach hollowed. “Hey.”
“You feeling better?” His voice was gruff and gravelly from sleep.
“Yeah. I wanted to thank you.”
He snorted softly, the sound almost angry. “For what? Not fucking you when you begged me to?”
“Basically, yes.”
“Trust me, it wasn’t easy.”
He scraped back his hair and used a tie from around his thick wrist to pull it into a knot at his nape, the motions jerky and yep, angry. He was pissed at me.
We’d gotten close the past two weeks. Become friends, and he probably felt betrayed that I’d kept this from him. “I wanted to tell you about…everything, but I didn’t want to bring you into this mess if I could avoid it.”
“Oh, I get it. You needed a decoy. Someone who’d play the part well. Be believable.” His lip curled self-deprecatingly. “I understand, Cameron. Trust me, I get it. That isn’t the issue.”
“Then why are you so mad?”
He let out a harsh laugh. “You really are oblivious, aren’t you?
” He moved closer, his body pressing up against my personal space but not invading it.
“You have no idea the things I’ve been fantasizing about doing to you, and if last night I could have convinced myself that you wanted me for real, I would have acted out every single one of those fantasies. ”
My mouth went dry. “What?”
His throat bobbed. “But you belong to someone else, and I’m not into pining over things I can’t have. Things that can never belong to me.”
Pining? He… “Curi, what the fuck?”
His dark eyes were bright. “I was falling for you.”
My stomach dropped. “Curi…I—”
“Don’t. It’s fine. I’m glad this happened, and I found out.”
My eyes heated. I’d hurt him. “I’m so sorry, Curi. I…I care about you, and maybe…if things were different—”
“Stop. I know how fated matings work. There is no one else for you. Not when it comes to your heart. But, Cameron, you need to be careful. If you slip and consummate with him…”
“I know. I won’t. We won’t.”
He dropped his chin to his chest. “But you’ll want to. You’ll have needs.”
My cheeks heated. “I can handle it.”
“Like you handled it last night?”
“That was…that was an episode.”
“Which could happen again. Did he get you off? You think it’s safe for him to do that?”
He was right: Serath and I had taken a huge risk last night by being together like that. If he’d lost control… “We’re doing the best we can.”
He nodded. “I believe it. But please, don’t take risks like that. If you need release, then come to me. I’ll give you what you need, no strings.”
“You just said you were falling for me.”
“ Was . Not anymore.”
His gaze was cool and flat, and damn, I believed him. But I doubted I’d ever take him up on his offer. When in my right mind, the thought of being with anyone but Serath made my stomach hurt.
What if you’re not in your right mind? What if Serath isn’t here the next time this happens? I wanted to ignore the voice in my head, but it had a point.
I might not want to take Curi up on his offer, but knowing it was on the table helped.
He was offering me a lifeline, and there was no harm in accepting even if I had no intention of using it. “Thank you.”
He gave me a wry smile. “You have no intention of taking me up on my offer, do you?”
I returned his smile. “I’m going to make sure I never have to. I value our friendship too much.”
He sighed, his expression softening. “Me too, Basque. Me too.” He reached over his shoulder and tugged off his shirt. “Now get out of here unless you want to watch me dress for class.”
We were back on even footing, and it felt good.