Chapter 45
CAM
D awn was less than an hour away when we sat down in the kitchen for a bite to eat. Yarrow and Levi were still with Derek. They’d shooed us off with instructions to get some food.
I’d wanted to stay, but Levi reminded me that if I wasn’t fueled up and recharged, it would make it harder for Derek to heal.
The dorm was quiet now. The hubbub following the field trip was over, although I doubted the cadets would stop speculating on what had happened. Everyone had seen the wraiths go after me. They’d draw their conclusions.
The mood was tense, and we ate in silence, even though I doubted that any of us felt hungry.
“I wonder if the elite are back,” Palia said.
“If not, then you stay with us,” Curi said.
Leaving Derek wasn’t an option, security be damned. “I’m not going back there tonight anyway. I’m staying here with Derek.”
“No,” Sharniza said. “You’re safest at the observatory. They wanted you there for a reason.”
Annoyance pricked at my senses. “I’m not leaving Derek alone overnight. Not when he’s like this.”
He’d risked his life for me. And yes, some might say that was his purpose, but he was more than a shield. He was a person. With choices. He could have chosen to save himself, but he didn’t. He chose me. I wouldn’t abandon him now. I couldn’t. I loved him. He was home. My first family.
Levi entered the room looking weary. His dark hair was ruffled as if he’d been running his hands through it in agitation. “We’re moving Derek to Yarrow’s quarters.”
“What? Why?” Shar asked before I could. “Has he gotten worse?”
“No. But Yarrow’s residences are filled with healing crystals, and he feels the tincture will work better in that environment.”
“Fine.” I pushed back my chair. “Let’s go.”
“No, Cameron. You need to go back to the observatory. I’m sure Mason will be happy to walk you.”
“What? No. I want to stay with Derek.”
“What you want isn’t important here. What Derek needs is. The healing crystals need to be focused on his injuries, not yours.”
My being there would split their focus? “I understand, but I’m not sure how comfortable Derek is with Yarrow. I mean, I’m not sure if—”
“I’ll go with him,” Shar said. “I’ll stay by his side.”
Her offer brought a rush of relief. “Thank you.”
“Grab your things then, Aziza, we’re leaving now.”
Shar followed him out of the room, and I sagged in my seat.
“It’ll be okay,” Touron said. “Willowman will be back before the cadet exams, and he’ll fix Derek, and everything will be okay.”
I wanted to believe him, but after everything we’d been through, the whole sentence sounded like a fairy tale.
* * *
Curi walked me back to the elite quarters but refused to leave until I confirmed that the elites were back.
I let him into the foyer. “Wait here while I go check.”
“Nope,” he said. “You might lie to me. I’m coming with you.”
“You aren’t even supposed to be in here.”
“I don’t care.” He crossed his arms. “So elevator or stairs?”
I rolled my eyes and headed for the elevator.
It was a tight fit with us both inside, but my body had become attuned to proximity with Curi, so it didn’t bother me.
The main lounge was empty.
“Looks like no one’s home,” Curi said.
“They might be in the observatory watchtower.”
“I’ve always wanted to see the view from up there.”
He wasn’t supposed to be in the elite quarters, let alone the watchtower, but after the day I’d had, the thought of hanging out by myself wasn’t appealing.
We took the stairs this time. I stopped off on Serath’s floor then Orix and Prasan’s on the off chance one of them was home. But no.
“I’m sure they won’t mind me staying till they get back,” Curi said.
The observatory watchtower was bathed in starlight, Prasan’s computer running in the background, green lines scrolling across the screen. A shadow shot out from behind Orix’s favorite seating spot.
“Taz, hey, boy.”
He allowed me to pet him.
“You have a cat?”
“Taz is kinda the house mascot. One of Orix’s saves.”
“I heard he had a thing for pussy, but I thought…” He shook his head in confusion.
I stifled a laugh. “He has a thing for cats and for pussy. The man’s a hussy, but he has a heart of gold.”
Taz purred as if in agreement.
Curi crouched to pet him, and Taz allowed it.
“His eyes, wow, they’re gorgeous,” Curi said.
“I know.”
“We weren’t allowed to keep any animals.”
“Pets aren’t really a thing in the human world either.”
“No, I suppose they’re not.” Curi gave a heartfelt sigh. “But they are in Arcadia, just not for the male or alpha female goyles.”
I could believe it. After what Sharniza had told me about her upbringing, it was obvious that the goyle youth were trained to have very little wants or attachments. I suppose it made it easy for them to be trained to serve a singular cause.
Taz, fed up of being petted, wandered off with a flick of his tail.
We moved to the window and the epic view of campus and the world beyond the walls.
The tight muscles in my shoulders relaxed a little. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”
“Yeah…beautiful…”
I glanced at him to find him staring not at the view but at me.
My stomach dipped. “Curi…”
He dipped his gaze. “You can’t be with him.”
“I know that.”
“Then be with me.”
“What?”
“I can give you what you need. I can fill the emptiness.”
“I’m fine. I don’t need—”
“Maybe not now. But you will. I want you to come to me.” He turned me to face him and stepped closer so that I had to tip my chin up to look at his face.
“Promise me that when the time comes…when you’re needing…
you’ll come to me.” His voice was a low rumbling caress that touched a place deep inside me.
The part of me that longed for physical connection and the warmth of a lover’s touch.
“Curi, you feel this way now, but there is an omega out there for you. Maybe even a fated mate.”
“Maybe,” he said. “But until then, you have me. If you want me.”
I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him that I’d never get to that point, but I couldn’t, because a fated mate bond was forever, and forever, when you could never have it, was an eternity. I wasn’t made of stone, and neither was Serath.
He’d proven that with Jana.
I tucked in my chin, unable to look at him when I accepted his offer. “When the time comes… If it comes, then I’ll come to you.”
Curi pulled me in for a hug and kissed my temple. “We’ll get through this, Basque. We will.”
And just like that, with the use of my surname, he set the boundary back in place.
“Thank you.” I hugged him back, but an icy finger slid up my spine, and my scalp tightened in warning just before a gruff male voice broke the companionable silence.
“Enjoying the view?”
I stepped out of Curi’s arms. “Curi was waiting with me till you all got back.”
Serath lifted his chin slightly, looking down his nose at us. “No need to explain. He can sleep over if you want. I’ll be at Outpost Ten with Jana.”
His words were a stab to the gut, but I bit back my gasp of pain.
Curi cursed softly. “It’s not like that with us. Cameron has a little more willpower than you, it seems.” He dropped his gaze to mine, and I blinked back the stupid tears that pressed against the back of my eyes. “Unless you’ve changed your mind?”
I wanted to hurt Serath. Wanted to say yes to Curi, but that would be a lie. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone. “No. Thank you, Curi. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Serath smiled coldly at Curi. “I’m sure you can see yourself out.”
Curi snorted softly and shook his head. “Fate’s a bitch.”
He left, closing the door softly behind him.
“You should get some sleep,” Serath said.
A tide of indignant rage rose inside me. “What is wrong with you?”
“Excuse me?”
“I get that we have to keep a distance. I get why you’re with someone else. But you have no right to push me into fucking other people just to assuage whatever fucked-up guilty complex you have going on.”
His jaw ticked. “I’m trying to help you. Help us .”
But I was done with listening to that excuse.
“I almost died today, and your reaction is to suggest I sleep with my fake boyfriend? I can understand why you’d avoid being there when I woke up.
I get that you can’t be around me when Levi is there, but Curi knows about us.
You didn’t have to be so cold toward me in front of him.
You don’t have to act like my life doesn’t matter to you. ”
“Yes. Yes, I do.” He ground the words out. Low and tormented. “Because if I don’t, then we will fail. Don’t you get that, Cameron? There can be no softness between us. No comfort or care. The door between us must be closed.”
A storm of twisted pain filled me. “That door closed the moment you stuck your cock into Jana.” I swallowed past the pinch in my throat.
“Don’t worry, Serath, you and I are done, and once we get Romi back, I’m out of here.
I can get a posting somewhere far away from you.
See, I’ll resolve this issue without opening my legs for another male. ”
I swept past him and out the door.
I was done with having my heart battered and bruised. Serath had chosen to deal with our bond by finding release with another female, and that…that told me all I needed to know.