Chapter 47
Trent
I remind myself that I want to suck my husband off.
Sometimes it’s hard for my brain to remember that I’m safe, and it conflates sex with danger because I was abducted because of the evolution of our on-camera sex life.
That’s the working theory that my therapist and I are going with, anyway.
So, I get to choose moments to rearrange my brain’s chemistry around sex to get back to the place I want to be, because I’m definitely frustrated with the fact that I’m not getting to share orgasms with my husband.
I want that intimacy with him. I definitely want him, and I’m about to do some scary shit to get back to the place where my desire for him is safe and happy.
Sucking in a deep breath, I finish cleaning up after my painting session and head inside, leaving my shoes by the garage door.
We don’t park in the garage yet, but I promised Magnus that I would move all the shit out of the way as soon as we’re done renovating.
It will be cool to have a garage to park in, even though the neighborhood we’re in is nice enough with a low crime rate.
“What’s got your mind occupied?” Magnus asks curiously as he stands up from where he was sitting at the kitchen table.
It was left by Howard and has so many nicks and scratches in it from a lifetime of love and family.
The most important imperfection is a carving L plus H equals heart 4 Ever.
I’m never going to get rid of that. It’s not my legacy, but it is a legacy that deserves to be honored, and someday I’m going to add mine and Magnus’s to it.
“I was thinking that being able to park in the garage is the standard for adulthood I have. I know I’m an adult, but I still rely on my parents a lot, and I was thinking that when I get to park in the garage I’ll have made it to real adulthood.
It’s a weird standard,” I laugh, pulling my shirt over my head.
Magnus hums thoughtfully, watching my chest, which is always going to be an ego boost. “I’ve been living on my own for so long that I don’t remember ever having a moment like that.
I don’t think I’ve ever considered when I decided I was officially an adult.
I bought a bottle of wine on my twenty-first birthday, and that was the only thing I really did to enforce the idea that I’d become a part of the majority. ”
I flex my guns, grinning at him when his smile grows and he looks up from my chest to my face. “See something you like?”
“Very much,” he agrees, stepping in close and running his hand up my chest. “Shower?”
I wrap my arms around him and pull him in close, kissing him softly. I suck a little on his bottom lip before pulling back. “Yeah.”
Magnus presses his face to my neck, hugging me tight, and takes a deep breath. “I love how you smell when you’ve been outside.”
I breathe with him, matching his calming rhythm. “That’s why I do it, of course. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, or at least the most important boy.”
Magnus laughs with me and we share a smiling kiss, then he pulls me upstairs to the master bathroom.
I start the shower as Magnus strips, and when the temperature is right, he gets in, sliding the curtain closed while I undress.
I force myself not to look at my scars in the mirror.
Usually I end up staring at them, shocked by what I survived and the reminder of what I did to accomplish that, but today I need to stay focused on Magnus, on intimacy, safety, and sex, so I don’t look.
I step into the shower with my husband and tune all of my attention to him.
He immediately pulls me in close, taking the initiative to wash me up even though I’d planned to pamper him.
It takes me a minute to readjust my expectations and relax into his touch, but not because I’m unwilling.
My brain is less willing to go with the flow now than it was before, but with Magnus it’s easier to adjust my expectations than it is with other people.
I give myself over to his attention, and without the expectation of conversation, he pampers me, cleans me from head to toe, and loves me the way I need to be loved.
When he’s done, I take my turn with him, liberally showering him with kisses as I wash him in the same way he did for me.
I love his body as much as I love his mind and heart.
I’m lucky that I got to learn that about myself.
I’m lucky that he proposed the business plan he did.
I might never have realized that I could be attracted to him otherwise.
“I love you,” I tell him as I shut the water off behind him. I kiss his smile, pulling him as close to me as I can get him with nothing but water between us.
When I pull back, I help him out of the shower and take the towel he hands me. His eyes are glued to me as we dry off, and there’s a pleased, smug little smile on his lips when he says, “You’re so sexy. I’m incredibly pleased with myself for bagging you, so to speak.”
I chuckle, hanging up my towel and reaching for him to do the same. “I feel the same. You ready?” I ask, running a hand over my half-hard dick to see if I can encourage it a little more.
Magnus nods enthusiastically. “I am. How do you want me?”
I love how easy this man is. I push him toward our studio, which isn’t the master bedroom we’re sharing.
We decided to keep that aspect of work separate from the rest of our lives, so it has its own room.
“You should be in profile so everyone can see that I’m actually putting dick in my mouth, but let’s start facing the camera. ”
Magnus takes one step into the studio and suddenly turns, stopping me from entering. “Are you comfortable being naked on camera?” he asks levelly, indicating my nakedness with his hand.
I swallow back my immediate assurance and retake stock of my emotional landscape versus where I want to be.
“Yes. I think I’m going to tell them a little about why I’ve been absent, and then I’m going to suck you off.
I don’t know if I will be able to get and stay fully hard, but no one expects a straight boy to be hard when he’s with a man, right? ”
Magnus wraps me up in a strong hug. “I am so fucking proud of you.”
I accept the hug and those words, breathing in the peace that he gives me and the hope for my future that he feeds me with every intimate moment like this. “Thank you.”
He releases me, and I sit on the bed facing the camera while he hits the record button and joins me. We both smile at each other before facing the audience we will post this video to.
“Hey subs,” I greet them, leaning forward with my legs spread so they can see me the way they’ve probably been missing. “Been a while since you’ve gotten the full glory of my hot bod, eh?” I chuckle, shaking my head.
Magnus leans over and bumps my shoulder with his. “They’ve had me, and never underestimate the power of a hot professor whacking off.”
My laughter grows, and I reach over and ruffle his hair.
“I promise I never will,” I swear before turning back to the camera.
“So, we’ve moved into our new house—thank you for that—and since you’ve been such good company for the last half year, we’re going to do a little fan service BJ.
I know you’re whooping in your seats right now, but don’t get used to it.
This is a one-time offer, one time gift for the house. ”
Magnus makes a little negative whine in his throat before clearing it, and I turn to him with a questioning look, which is the reaction our first BJ script has written for me.
“What?” I question.
Magnus gives me a helpless little shrug. “What if I want to switch with you later?”
Even if it’s written in the script for this show, the affectionate smile that slips onto my lips is completely real. “Ok. Maybe it will be a two time thing, but we’re not promising more than one, and any more is just a bonus. Better?”
Magnus nods. “Yep. I’m happy with that.”
I shake my head and return my attention to the audience.
This part isn’t scripted, but I don’t think I need that.
“Before we get to the main event, I’m going to tell you a little about why my orgasms have been absent from our engagement.
Magnus is right that I don’t have to explain, but my therapist thinks talking about hard things is helpful, so here we are.
“I was injured during an attack on my life.” I stand up and show them the big red scar on my leg, then I turn and show them the smaller, but somehow worse scar on my back.
“I was stabbed twice, as you can see, and it has really fucked with my mental-emotional health, not to mention I spent more than a week in the hospital fighting for my life. So yeah, I haven’t been up for much, but I’m working toward normalcy again, and every video I’ve been in since the attack has been me trying to get back to the Trent that loves being watched and getting off with friends. ”
I sit my ass back down and lean into Magnus, taking a couple of deep breaths to recenter myself after giving a piece of myself away to the camera.
Magnus holds me close, kisses my temple, and takes my hand in his. “We don’t have to post this if you don’t want to when we’re done,” he promises me.
I take another breath, turning into his support and love. “Thank you. But I think it will be good for me.”
He nods, accepting my decision. “You can change your mind at any point,” he promises.
“I love you,” I tell him in response, because I must. Then I turn to the camera. “We’ve talked about this, remember?” I wag my finger at the shippers like I’m chastising them for taking my words the wrong way.
Magnus laughs. “I love you, too,” he returns with enthusiasm.
“Ok. On to the main event, Magnus. Turn,” I order him, and he turns his profile to the camera, situating himself so that they’ll get the best view of both of us.
We placed the camera near the corner of the bed, so Magnus turns to put himself in profile, laying back with his legs hanging over the end of the bed.
I move around him and slide to my knees between his legs, running my hands up and down his thighs, pretending for all the world like I might be a little nervous about this.
I’ve been wanting to get my mouth on him since before the attack, so I’m eager for the intimacy of this moment, but I can admit that part of me is worried.
“I’m worried that I’m going to be bad at this,” I admit, chuckling at myself.
Magnus laughs, shaking his head. “We know how fast I shoot off when you get your hands on me. I’m not going to even know if you are bad at it,” he assures me.
I shrug, acknowledging that for the camera, remembering how fast he used to lose when I’d suck him off before the attack. “Ok. I’ve got this.”
Magnus strokes himself, and since that’s something I know I’ve got in the bag, I take over, fisting his half-hard cock and mentally giving myself a pep talk.
I enjoy having my hands on him, and about half the time I actually do get hard now that I’ve been stroking him off for a few weeks.
I reach between my legs to grab my dick, pointing Magnus’s to my mouth as I do.
I lick the precum out of his slit, swirling my tongue around the crown as Magnus moans like he’s never felt anything better in his life.
I smile at his reaction and enjoy the feeling of my cock filling with heat and desire.
Fuck yeah. Good job, me.
Magnus gasps as I suck him into my mouth, making it about halfway down before I run out of spit for the slide.
I pull back up, jacking him slowly as I do, swirl my tongue again, and suck him back into my mouth, making it all the way to the base of his cock this time.
Well, two fingers away from the base. That’s all I can take without a little more practice.
“That feels so good. Fuck,” Magnus moans, subtly shifting his hips, chasing my mouth as I pull back again.
I lick his slit again, slowly jacking him, and I look up his body with a pleased smirk. “Good to know, baby. Now, hold still.”
Magnus huffs and forcibly relaxes again. “Please don’t stop.”
I laugh and bend again, taking him back into my mouth.
Honestly, I love this. I love driving him crazy, and I love the taste of him on my tongue.
I work him over for a few minutes before my jaw starts aching, Then I switch to licking him to give those muscles a little rest. I hate this for me because I’d been getting pretty good at this before my hiatus from sexual activities.
I’m going to have to practice to increase my jaw stamina again.
“Trent, Trent!” Magnus exclaims, hips twitching like he’s trying to thrust.
I clamp my arm around his waist, jack him faster, and concentrate my sucking on his crown. A minute later, Magnus cries out and his cock pulses in my mouth, shooting his load. I pull off while he’s still coming, letting a few jets hit me in the face so our audience can see the cum-shot.
I quickly stand and use my cum-covered hand to jack my own cock, living in the moment and so turned on it only takes me a few rough strokes to get there.
I erupt all over him, hitting him with spunk from his chest to his balls.
The orgasm wrings me out and leaves me panting, and I collapse onto the bed beside him.
Magnus lets me breathe for exactly five breaths, and then he rolls over onto me.
I raise my arm and welcome him into a cuddle, and he hums happily.
This is how we fall asleep every night, so it doesn’t surprise me when his soft snores start up almost immediately.
I’m going to give him twenty minutes, and then we have to get up, because we’re growing roots tonight.