Chapter 13
Estelle
Dread filled me at the thought of facing Lord Camden at dinner.
I dragged my feet down the upstairs corridor to stall the inevitable.
I was mortified over what I mentally referred to as the boat incident.
I refused to call it reckless conduct, panicked behavior, or insane stupidity, even though the memory included all the before-mentioned disgraces.
I had to salvage my pride at least for myself.
After the way I had mauled Lord Camden, I already knew it would not be possible to do so for him.
Nora had given me a stern lecture as she had fixed my coiffure.
No one had been more shocked about my wet state yesterday than my dear, sweet maid.
I suddenly wished to digress to governess, where I was not permitted to dine with the family at all.
Now I had to face Lord Camden, my twice rescuer, over a plate of steaming food, all while pretending to be a dignified human capable of tutoring his sister.
“Mercy,” I muttered. I would rather run away from home all over again.
Indeed, I had completely lost my appetite.
“Is there a reason you’re walking so slowly?” Augusta asked, coming up beside me.
“I was . . .” I searched for a logical explanation besides the truth.
“You were daydreaming,” Augusta said. “I have caught you a time or two staring off at nothing in particular.”
“Me?” I scoffed. “I do not daydream.” I turned, and we began our descent down the stairs.
“You were mumbling too. What do you think about that is so dreadfully serious?”
I wondered at the other times she had witnessed my wool gathering.
Had I been thinking of my stranger, or worrying about my brother and his schemes?
If it had been in the last several hours, then there was only one answer: my mortification over her brother.
“Perhaps I am reciting poems in Italian or solving complex mathematical equations.”
“Hardly,” Augusta gave me a knowing look. “I am not so very daft as all that. You know, my brother sometimes stares at nothing when he is deep in thought, and it drives Mother mad.”
Oh, dear. Not more talk of Lord Camden.
Augusta pointed at my face. “You have a different sort of look about you than he does. I cannot say about this time particularly, but the other incidents, you wore had a wistful expression. One does not look like that when concentrating on recitations or solving mathematics.”
“Never mind my long looks.” I shook my head with a laugh, turning toward the dining room. “You don’t want to know my thoughts, I assure you.”
Augusta wrinkled her nose. “Of course I do. It is Estelle, is it not? Might I call you Estelle?”
I almost said no, but it seemed silly to do so when we were practically the same age. “When it’s the two of us, you may call me Estelle. However, for the sake of my position, you might defer to Miss Lewis when around your mother and brother.”
“That is a sensible answer, and one I cannot argue with.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
We were just outside the dining room when Augusta stopped. “Well, Estelle, you do not have to tell me the source of your daydreams. I will figure it out on my own. We will have plenty of time in each other’s company, and soon we will know everything about each other.”
Not everything, I hoped. Though, I supposed no harm would come in her trying at least. I smiled at her. “Then I will look forward to your guesses. I have no doubt that they will prove entertaining.”
“What entertainment is this?” Lord Camden asked, coming from behind us. He stopped when he reached the drawing room door and casually leaned against the frame.
We did not cross paths with Lord Camden regularly, since he was often out of the house on business, and it was unfortunate that we had to add a pre-dinner conversation before the inevitable one we would have during dinner.
My cheeks flushed hot the moment our eyes met, and I averted my face from his.
“Nothing that would amuse you, Lord Camden.”
“You might be surprised,” he said. “Try me.”
Augusta supplied the answer for me. “I am to guess the source of Miss Lewis’s wistful thoughts.”
“Wistful?”
I made the mistake of meeting his eyes again—gray-green under the gas lamp’s dull light. I didn’t like the curious way he watched me, no doubt eager to find fault after the boat incident. “I expect you have plenty of fanciful hopes of your own. Mine are nothing special.”
“Fanciful hopes, you say?” He stroked his chin with his thumb and forefinger. “If there is something I want, I prefer not to waste time hoping for it. I like to execute my goals in the present, if I can.”
“How fortunate for you,” I said, growing annoyed.
If he had no experience with large bodies of water and was faced with drowning, I daresay he would simply will himself to swim and be gifted with instinctual knowledge to save himself.
“Some of us see hope as a great comfort when all other choices have been removed.”
He lifted one brow. “Have your choices been removed, Miss Lewis?”
His tone was decidedly suspicious.
I sputtered. How dare he ask such a direct question and then look at me like I was some criminal. “We are practically strangers, Lord Camden. I have not the faintest idea what you would do with that knowledge.”
I turned my head to find Augusta watching us with rapt attention. I was the one who thought her guessing the source of my daydreams would prove entertaining, so it seemed unfair that she was the one being entertained. And at my expense, no less.
“Oh,” Augusta started. “Do not mind me. I’ll wait at the table.” She slipped by us, and for the first time all day, I wanted to flee inside the dining room and hurry on dinner.
I glanced up at Lord Camden, awaiting his response.
His jaw was already showing a hint of caramel-colored scruff along the sharp edges, which I could have stared at for several more minutes, but I dragged my gaze up to meet his eyes again.
He was watching me. Or studying me. I was not certain if there was a difference.
“Well?” I asked. My patience for my own discomfort was rather thin.
He shrugged. “I merely find it intriguing that you called us strangers.”
“Why is that?”
His green eyes smoldered with quiet intensity. “I have thought it once or twice since your arrival, but there is something about you—something familiar. We have not met before, have we?”
“That would be impossible.” Reginald was rarely home. Since I had to be chaperoned wherever I went, that meant I did not get out much either. This was partly why my heart had felt for Augusta and her own missed opportunities. “I must look like someone you know.”
His jaw flexed. “I doubt there could ever be two of someone like you.” He straightened and stepped closer to me, setting off my equilibrium.
In a lowered voice he whispered, “Either way, I might have thought us strangers yesterday, but after this afternoon, I think our acquaintance has moved to a much more familiar stage. Don’t you think? ”
He drew back before turning and leaving me alone in the corridor with my heart pounding.
An image flashed before my eyes. My arms squeezed tightly around his neck, and my cheek pressed against his own.
“Oh, botheration,” I mumbled. That was certainly far more familiar than I had ever hoped to be with my employer.
Mother was likely rolling over in her grave.
I briefly squeezed my eyes shut, then forced myself to go into dinner.
There was no way I was letting this man’s unnerving presence jeopardize my time here.
I strode straight to my chair beside Augusta.
It appeared Lady Camden was late. At least she had not witnessed the exchange between her son and me at the door.
Had he been trying to antagonize me, or was this his way of being friendly?
I pulled out my chair and maneuvered my wide skirts so I might sit. Augusta said something about her friends—the Lovelace sisters she had mentioned before. I did not hear the specifics. I was too busy analyzing every word of my interaction with Lord Camden. A moment later, Lady Camden entered.
“Forgive me for being late.” She swooped into her seat and held up a letter. “I received an invitation to take tea with your aunt, Lady Timbrell, the day after tomorrow. Augusta, you and Miss Lewis will plan on joining me.”
“Yes, Mother.” Augusta did not seem fazed by the invitation, so I assumed this was a regular occurrence.
“And Atlas . . . good heavens. We might be in the country, but I was under the impression that a gentleman still shaved before dinner.”
He fingered the scruff on his chin. “Oh, this? I had an unexpected bath and did not have the time to shave.” Lord Camden sent a smirk my way.
I barely resisted rolling my eyes.
The smallest giggle escaped Augusta, which she quickly covered with a cough.
Lady Camden made a noise of disapproval at both of her children before focusing back on her son. “I suppose you have another one of your mysterious errands tomorrow that will keep you from joining us at tea?”
Mysterious? I frowned thinking of the meeting I had made him miss and looked across the table at Atlas. He smiled guilelessly at his mother. “You guessed correctly.”
“You are rarely home anymore,” Lady Camden said, dipping her spoon into her soup. “I suppose I should be grateful that you are well enough to run about the countryside at all, but do remember that your family likes to see you once in a while.”
“I will remember that.”
What sort of mysterious meetings did a baron have? My curiosity piqued. Even though Lord Camden had claimed we were no longer strangers, I had no idea of his interests or passions. If I knew, perhaps I could think of a way to thank him in a manner he would appreciate.
I had made him miss his meeting and thoroughly embarrassed myself. My body might be safe from harm now, but my conscience was drowning in guilt. If I were to survive the next six months in such close quarters with this man, I did not want to feel indebted to him.
“Did you hear that the smithy in town was purchased by an Irishman?” Lady Camden asked her son. “And the next closest blacksmith is over thirty miles from here. What are we expected to do?”
My fork stilled on the braised lamb. My whole body went as rigid as a deer sensing a predator.
“There is no reason to travel beyond our town’s blacksmith,” Lord Camden answered. “I am sure this new owner’s work is as adequate as the last.”
Lady Camden huffed. “But he’s Irish. Must the whole town be overrun with them?”
The hair on the back of my neck seemed to stand on end.
“One owner is hardly our town being overrun with them,” he said.
Augusta nudged me, her face lined with concern.
I smiled to reassure her, as if nothing in the world was bothering me. With hands trembling, I quickly dished the saucy lamb onto my plate. No one here knew I was half Irish, and I had no reason to announce it to them. I was here to do a job, and my heritage had nothing to do with that.
I was Miss Lewis now, and I could be whoever I wanted to be.
I glanced up and caught Lord Camden’s eyes on me. He quickly looked away, and I did the same.
Six months. I could be as English as the rest of them for that long. Then once I had my inheritance, I could be half Irish again.