Chapter 17
Estelle
By the beginning of the third week at Rosemont, I had relaxed somewhat into my new role while Nora had made herself quite at home below stairs.
Indeed, I was beginning to wonder if she preferred Rosemont to Norwood Hall, with the way she chattered about the servants and the comings and goings of the house.
I wasn’t quite at ease yet, but each day I warmed to my new surroundings.
My mornings began with tutoring Augusta, followed by tea with her mother, and free time with Augusta before dinner with the family.
Augusta was a diamond in the rough. I was surprised I had not seen it straightaway.
The two of us had become much more than companions already.
With her sanguine temperament, she was easy to converse with and an attentive listener.
I still felt the need to impress everyone, which was one of the reasons I had left home to begin with.
But teaching Augusta was a different sort of challenge—one I rallied to.
I wrote the word encyclopedia on a piece of paper and moved to the back of the library where we preferred to study.
I backed up against the dark walnut shelves teaming with books. “Can you see this?”
Lord Camden strolled in through the library doors before Augusta could answer me. He tipped his head in acknowledgement and proceeded to comb the shelves for a book.
I repeated the question. “Can you see this?”
Augusta nodded, making a few blonde curls that fell long on her neck bounce. “Of course, I can.”
“Excellent. What does it say?”
I tried not to notice Lord Camden sneaking glances my way and focused on my pupil. Augusta bit her lip and stared hard.
I frowned at the effort. “Are you certain you can see it?”
Augusta huffed. “I have no reason to lie.”
Augusta had not progressed in her reading, even with our persistent, daily efforts. When teaching my last charges, our progress had been slow, but steady. Since Augusta was so much older, I assumed we would move through the lessons at twice the pace.
I moved closer, watching her carefully as she studied the word. “Is this better?”
She tried again, with no success. “Can we not stick to smaller words?”
This time, I came straight to her and handed her the paper. “Try to sound out each letter.”
Her shoulders fell as she attempted once more to break down the word. I knew it would prove challenging, but I was desperate to understand what wasn’t working for her.
Sliding the paper across the small table between us, Augusta stood. “It’s too hard. I give up.”
Augusta had little patience for her school learning but an abundance of it for other areas of her life. I, too, was frustrated. “Please sit back down. My purpose of this activity was not to drive you away, but to test you.”
“And I failed, as always,” she grumbled.
“How do you know, when you don’t even know what I was testing?”
Augusta crossed her arms and scowled. “Very well. What were you testing?”
I motioned for her to take her seat again. “I was curious about your eyesight.”
“Why did you not simply ask? I can see perfectly well.”
“I had to know for certain. Spectacles would be an easy fix if they would help you.”
“And the difficult word?” She gave me a pointed look. “Were you also trying to torture me?”
I laughed. “Not at all. I wanted to see if you had made progress.”
Lord Camden selected his book and moved toward us.
My entire body froze. Did he approve of my methods?
He seemed to be everywhere in this house, and there was no escaping his judgments.
Deep down, I wanted him to approve. No, it was more than that.
I wanted to impress him. Unfortunately, frustrating his sister was not exactly impressive.
“May I?” he pointed to the paper I had tested Augusta with.
I gave a small shrug and handed it to him. “Of course.”
He took the paper and kneeled beside Augusta’s chair.
His tone was patient and kind as he turned to Augusta.
“If you cover up the bulk of the word and just focus on the first few letters at a time, it won’t feel so overwhelming.
” He set his book over all the words but the letters E and N. “Let’s start here.”
A flurry of warmth curled in my middle. I had never seen anything as sweet as a grown man helping his grown sister.
I sat back, my eyes riveted to Lord Camden’s profile.
He had been handsome before, but I had only allowed myself to see him as my employer.
Now he improved in my sight infinitely so, and I had to catch myself before my imagination ran wild.
But I was afraid it was already running faster than a deer in full sprint.
When they finished the word, Lord Camden cheered. “Capital, Augusta! I knew you could do it.”
Augusta grinned. “Now, if I can manage to read a word in half an hour instead of an hour, I might end up as a great scholar.”
The siblings laughed together, and I found myself joining in. Lord Camden turned to me; his dazzling smile still full across his face. I knew he wasn’t directing that smile at me, but still my breath caught.
“Keep up the good work, Miss Lewis.” He pushed up onto his feet and collected his book off the table. “I will see you both at dinner.”
My eyes trailed after him until he exited the room. Forcing my attention back to Augusta, I pushed the reader to her. “Shall we continue?”
“Must we? I read one difficult word, but it is still a task I do not care for,” she said with a pout on her face.
I had to celebrate the victory of a small battle and recognize that we would not win the war in a day. I set aside the reader. “How about a change of scenery? I propose we take another walk for our history lesson today.”
Augusta sighed. “Can we not do something more exciting? Something unrelated to schoolwork?” Gingersnaps took that moment to slink over. Augusta scooped the large feline into her lap and hugged him to her.
I set my elbow on the table and rested my chin in the palm of my hand.
There was nothing ladylike about it at all, and I believe it was a habit I had picked up from Augusta.
Mentally, I acknowledged that I should sit up, but I held my position.
I needed to meet Augusta where she was at if we were ever to rise above her struggles.
And now that I had Lord Camden’s approval, I felt justified in following my instincts.
“What do you have in mind?” It felt daring even saying this. My own governesses had browbeaten me into submission, and the discipline and structure had been both aggravating and comforting in their familiarity. Neither would work for Augusta—or she would not have chased away a dozen governesses.
Augusta shifted Gingersnaps into her lap, then mimicked me and hunched over the table, bringing our faces closer. “Why don’t you tell me who it is you are always daydreaming about.”
I immediately straightened. “Who says I am thinking about someone specific?”
Augusta grinned. “I do. Come now, it is a far more exciting topic than dead kings.”
I smirked. “You mean history.”
Augusta blinked innocently. “I won’t complain about continuing our lessons if you tell me.”
“You won’t complain for an entire week!” I said, pointing my finger at her.
Augusta crossed her heart. “I promise.”
Hesitant as I was, I wanted to tell her. “And you promise not to tell a soul?”
“On my father’s grave.”
I nodded my consent. I knew I could trust her the same way I knew that she would believe my tale—strange as it was. Just as she had let me into her vulnerable spaces, I knew she would be a friend who could safely walk into mine.
I leaned back in my seat, wondering where to start.
Having never spoken the words of my story out loud, I found many of the details too special to share, while other details were bursting to be spoken.
No one could have been more surprised than myself when the words finally tumbled from my mouth.
“I think . . . I think I am in love with a stranger.”
The untested words came out with rightness and surety, and I could not take them back. Not even when a sudden image of Lord Camden smiling at me flashed into my mind.
“You mean you have never met the man you love?” Augusta stared at me in disbelief.
I shook my head. “Our meeting may not have been conventional, but there was a certain divine fate to it.” I chose to leave out the part where I had fled an arranged marriage—and the small matter of my family not knowing my whereabouts—and skipped right to the dark alley and the discovery of Mr. Long.
“I had found him on the brink of death and arranged for his care. It was inappropriate, but I held his hand and he held mine.”
Augusta leaned forward on the edge of her seat. “How romantic.”
I shrugged. “We needed each other. There was no other word for it. I willed him to heal, and he willed me to stay . . . but in the end, we had to go our separate ways.”
“And he never saw what you looked like?”
I shook my head. “His eyes were bound, and he was too bruised and swollen for me to recognize him again.”
Augusta stroked Gingersnaps with greater gusto. “Star-crossed love.”
I shrugged and a sigh slipped through. “I suppose so.”
“Oh, Estelle! It’s tragic. What if you never meet again?”
“Or worse,” I said. “What if we meet and do not recognize each other? Then we will have missed our chance.” Though even as I said it, I knew there was no chance for us.
He was likely a poor servant from a different world than my own.
Besides, I was already spoken for like a horse with a bid on it, waiting to be claimed.
Despite what I knew, my heart had a will of its own. My silly girlish fantasies had become quite real to me. I had felt a connection with Mr. Long, and it had to have significance.
I pushed a smile onto my face, refusing to feel sad about a special moment, no matter what it meant for my future. “My secret is out, but what of yours, Augusta? Is there a man who holds your heart?”
Augusta shook her head. “I have met a few men who came visiting my brother, and at church of course, but they were too stiff and buttoned-up for my taste. None of them would climb into Ruby without worrying about dirtying their trousers. Indeed, they would prefer to look at themselves in the mirror before they would ever appreciate my appearance.”
I set my hand on hers for a brief moment. “There is someone out there who is perfect for you. I hope you find him.”
Augusta smiled. “Thank you.”
I pushed out of my seat and situated my dress. “Shall we have that history lesson and walk now?”
Augusta opened her mouth and seemed to stop herself. “Why, I adore history. I will positively expire if we do not have a lesson this very minute.”