Chapter 23
Estelle
Curse my stubborn self. I was an utter fool.
With Reginald’s friend, Mr. Goodwin, seated three chairs down from me, I should have been searching for ways to escape the dinner party.
Making a wager with Lord Camden to pretend to be smitten with him was not anywhere on the night’s menu.
No good would come from this. And yet, the thrill of the idea kept me rooted in my seat and eating dessert with anticipation.
Moments ago, I had been terrified. I had thought of Nora like I had promised and listed all the excuses I could make to Lady Camden so I might sit in the carriage until the night was over. Now my commitment to flee melted away like the crystalized fruit on my tongue.
I set my left hand on the table beside my plate, and a moment later, Lord Camden set his right hand directly beside it, brushing mine.
It was the smallest touch, but heat seared up my arm.
Propriety told me to pull away before someone saw us, but then I would lose the wager, wouldn’t I?
He was testing me. Little did he know that even if I tried, I could not have moved my hand.
Not for the fact that I had invited Lord Camden to pay attention to his sister’s lowly companion.
Or for the fact that my charade was almost up.
He set his hand beside mine, the outside flush with my own hand, and it was all I could do to remember to breathe.
For the last few weeks, I had denied the growing attraction I felt toward Lord Camden.
After our time in the stables, I had seen a different side of him.
He’d been a friend to me. But weren’t we too different?
Could I really care for him? The racing in my chest answered for me: My heart did not need all the answers to grow attached.
It simply did.
Lord Camden leaned close again and whispered, “What flirtatious words do you have for me?” He, of course, had not had to say anything to make my pulse accelerate. His slow, playful smile was irritatingly perfect.
I batted my lashes like an obvious debutante and kept my own voice low. “This is not a one-way challenge, my lord. You’ll have to concentrate on your own wooing.”
“I suppose you have a consequence for me as well?”
“But of course. I’m not the only one at risk for singing a solo tonight.”
Lord Camden slowly shook his head, his eyes not leaving mine. We stared at each other for a long moment, his hand still pressed against mine, while the rest of the table and people seemed to disappear from the room.
Lord Camden pulled away a moment later, as dinner had officially ended, and the women separated into the drawing room.
He winked at me as I stood. I resisted swatting his arm, but only just. Instead, my hand fell on his arm.
This was as good a time as any to surprise him, make him laugh, and win the challenge.
I slowly shut one eye of my own, winking back at him.
Me. A proper young lady.
I winked.
At a man!
And my lack of skill at it had turned a simple, teasing wink into a slow, sultry moment.
It should have been no surprise then when Lord Camden did not laugh.
His eyes intensified on my own, sending warmth shooting through every limb and making my heart race.
I had no idea looks could be so powerful.
I had to focus on more than Lord Camden’s compelling gaze, or my embarrassment from turning into a brazen flirt would pale compared to the humiliation of having my true identity exposed and my lies laid clean for all and sundry.
But despite my mind screaming for me to pay attention, it took great force to lift my hand from his firm arm and for my body to turn away from Lord Camden.
With more deliberate effort, I moved my feet toward the door.
I kept my face averted as I passed Mr. Goodwin, though I doubted he would recognize my flaming red cheeks.
I swear, I would never wink again. It was a shameful, scandalous endeavor for a young lady of good breeding to ever consider. My behavior horrified me. What on earth had I been thinking?
Finally, I slipped into the safety of the adjoining room.
Augusta found me at the door. “Dear me, you look overheated.” She batted her fan on my face, and the cool air was a sweet relief.
She led me to the same sofa we had sat at during tea, while the others settled around us in various places.
Lady Camden strolled by us, giving us a look that said she was watching us, but then followed her friends to the other side of the room—two women and a man who had monopolized her time at Lady Timbrell’s tea party—Mr. Bastion.
Whoever he was, he seemed quite attentive to Lady Camden, and she seemed to appreciate it.
Was it too much to hope that she would remain preoccupied? I did not want her following through on her threat and watching us. What if she caught on to Lord Camden’s challenge and our game of pretend?
Augusta bent her head close to my own. “What do you make of Mr. Abramson?”
Oh, drat! I should have paid more attention to him so I could answer honestly. I was a terrible friend. “His appearance is pleasing,” I finally said. Not nearly as handsome as her brother, but then not many compared to his classic looks.
“Not just handsome, but kind too,” Augusta added.
“That is an important quality.”
Augusta sighed. “Yes, but I do not think my brother would approve of me spending too much time with him.”
“Lord Camden did seem to have a strong reaction when he greeted his friends.”
“And their reaction in return was not very mannerly either,” Augusta huffed. “I cannot understand it. I can hardly predict anything where my brother is concerned. Not since . . .”
My brows quirked. “Since what?”
Augusta lowered her voice. “His accident.”
My curiosity on this matter heightened. Perhaps there was another way to get Lord Camden to tell me about it—one that did not involve me admitting to running away from my fiancé.
I did not want to know merely to know, but because learning about him mattered to me.
There were so many pieces to him that would not connect until I knew more of his story.
A few minutes later, the men joined us—Lord Camden in the lead.
He slipped onto the sofa cushion beside me, and it felt like history was repeating itself.
I did not have time to relive our last moment on this sofa during tea because I knew Mr. Goodwin would not be far behind.
Fumbling with a curl on my forehead, I attempted to block the full view of myself. Why had I not brought a fan?
A moment later, Mr. Goodwin strode to the opposite end of the room to join his mother. He stayed standing, his back to me, and I dropped my hand in relief. I felt eyes on me, and I turned to see Lord Camden watching me.
“Come to make certain I do my job as companion sufficiently again?”
He smiled. “I am more concerned about our wager. I do not sing very well, so I intend to win.”
Augusta leaned her head in front of mine to converse with her brother. “What did you say?”
Lord Camden leaned forward to where he could see his sister better. “I was saying how impressive you have been tonight. Mother will surely include you in all her future invitations.”
Augusta laughed a touch too loudly, and everyone turned to look.
I immediately raised my hand to finger the same curl by my forehead, while she, of course, did not even notice the added attention.
“That is not what you said, Atlas, but I thank you for the encouragement. I plan to have many more outings like this one. Soon, everyone will see me as a diamond of the first water.”
Diamond? That word immediately made me think of Mother—of her constant disapproval .
. . of her disappointment from the grave that I had never succeeded.
I sat up straighter, despite Mr. Goodwin’s presence.
She had likely seen my brazen wink all the way from heaven.
I fumbled with my gloves, straightening the seams not once but twice.
“Do you think it is possible, Estelle?” Augusta asked, breaking into my frantic thoughts. “That a girl as unruly as me could ever have any significance?”
Her question stilled my hands. I suddenly wanted Augusta to be a diamond more than anything.
I did not understand why it had to mean perfection.
Real diamonds could be irregular and still beautiful and expensive.
Augusta sparkled just the way she was. I set my straight gloved hand on her arm.
“I believe it, dear Augusta. You are a rare treasure.”
She smiled as if I was patronizing her, but I was not.
And not just because she was becoming my closest friend in the entire world.
For some reason, it was so much easier to believe it possible for her than myself.
She did not let her shortcomings hold her back from enjoying life, and I longed to be more like her.
Augusta started to say something when Miss Klein moved toward us. Fortunately, there was no room on the sofa for her.
Just as Miss Klein reached us, Lord Camden lifted the throw pillow at his side. “Would you care for a pillow for your back, Miss Lewis? I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable during the music tonight.”
“I . . . oh, uh . . .” I didn’t need a pillow, but Lord Camden was already shoving it behind me. I shifted forward to allow it to fit better. But he persisted in fluffing it too.
“How accommodating you are to the help, Lord Camden,” Miss Klein said, the annoyance in her voice as thick and heavy as her incredibly full skirt that now pooled over my feet.
Had she just referred to me as the help?
I was tempted to pull rank on her. My father was from an old aristocratic line, and our wealth would easily rival her own.
Lord Camden’s hand froze on my pillow. “We will forgive your slight, since it is obvious Miss Lewis is the daughter of a gentleman and a welcome presence in our home.”
“Did I say the help?” Miss Klein shook her head. “I meant, how kind of you to help. I would never have implied otherwise.”
She needed to work on her ability to feign innocence.
Lady Timbrell chose that opportune time to join us.
“I hope you young people are enjoying yourselves. I wanted to introduce you to my dear friend.” She tugged on the arm of someone standing behind Miss Klein.
“This is Mr. Goodwin.” I did not have time to respond before Mr. Goodwin stood directly in front of me.
My heart jumped to my throat, and my eyes bored into his. There was no hiding now. It was all over.
Lady Timbrell motioned to each of us. “This is Lord Camden, Miss Lewis—Miss Wilde’s companion—and Miss Wilde, Lord Camden’s sister.
“A pleasure to meet you.” Mr. Goodwin met my gaze and blinked once, then twice. “Miss Lewis, have we met before?”
A bucket of ice water down my back could not have chilled me more.
I clutched my hands tightly in my lap and forced a calm smile that I did not feel a single ounce.
“I do not think we have . . .” I finished in my head with the word recently, as if to show my conscience that I was not lying, just stretching the truth.
He tilted his head as if a different angle would remind him of where he had seen me before. I scratched the bridge of my nose so he could not get a good view of me.
Lord Camden chuckled. “Apparently, she either has a familiar face or an unforgettable one. I have been trying to place where I’ve seen her before for the last several weeks.”
Mr. Goodwin gave us both a good-natured smile. “Are you from Northamptonshire, Miss Lewis?”
I hesitated only a moment before setting my hand on Augusta’s arm.
“I am at present, yes. When I am with Miss Wilde, I do feel quite at home. Mr. Goodwin, did you know that Miss Wilde is a natural with animals? They absolutely adore her. Do you care for animals, Mr. Goodwin?” I don’t think I had ever spoken so many words in a single breath.
Mr. Goodwin’s gaze swung to Augusta’s. “I like horses.”
“Do you have a favorite breed?” Augusta asked him.
And just like that, the attention was off me, and the two of them launched into a conversation about thoroughbreds and the smaller Arabian counterparts. I was safe. For a moment at least.
“Miss Lewis,” Lord Camden whispered.
I turned to Lord Camden. “Yes?”
“I was wondering if you intended to grip my arm in this manner for the duration of the night?”
I glanced down, and to my horror, saw my hand clasping his just above the wrist. I winced and peeled my arm back. “Sorry.”
“Not at all. But if this is your way of keeping up our bet, then I am duly impressed.”
I gave a sheepish laugh. “No, I was . . . flustered . . . about something.”
“Ah, so you reached for me for comfort?” That brought a devilish smile to his lips, but it gave me real pause. Is that what I had done?
I will admit that he had given me comfort. Deep down, I hoped he would come to my rescue if Mr. Goodwin suddenly remembered me.
He seemed to read my mind. “Well, then. If you desire to hold my hand again, I am all too happy to oblige you.”
That ruthless tease. I was about to give him quite the set down when a shadow crossed over us. I looked up to meet Lady Camden’s stern gaze and her chest heaving. “Atlas,” she hissed. “I thought I saw . . .” she cast a quick glance at Mr. Goodwin to see if he was listening. “I thought I saw . . .”
“Everyone take a seat,” Lady Timbrell announced. “It is time to begin our musical performances.”
Lady Camden’s face had flushed red, but she reluctantly retreated.
“That was close,” Lord Camden said.
I was done for. Mr. Goodwin would remember me or Lady Camden would dismiss me. Either way, I was doomed. “We shouldn’t have agreed to such a foolish bet.”
“Nonsense,” he said, his soft words tickling my cheek. “I have made more than my share, and I think this was one of my better ones.”
He sounded pleasantly surprised, and I tried not to react. I didn’t want to blush and encourage him, but a warmth still spread through my middle, chasing away any cold from the shock of meeting Mr. Goodwin.
“My only disappointment,” he whispered, “is that I did not have the privilege of hearing you sing.”
Of all the matters for him to worry about. The corner of my lips pulled upward, despite my attempt otherwise. “Does that mean you have conceded to my superior abilities?”
“Conceding? No. But for the sake of my mother’s sensibilities, shall we call it a draw?”
His arm slid up around the back of the sofa—a subtle move I was certainly not immune to. The challenge was over, and yet it seemed he was still showing me marked attention. “I suppose a draw would be best.”
“My mother’s nerves thank you.”
I couldn’t resist my smile. “Better luck next time.” Because if I knew anything, there would indeed be a next time. It seemed Lord Camden loved a challenge too. And when he looked at me with a grin of his own, I had the strangest feeling that he saw me as one.