Chapter 19
I didn’t usuallywork on Saturdays, but I made an exception today. I’d squeezed two urgent appointments in for my patients who had trouble getting in during the week.
Having performed one urgent extraction and a lingual frenectomy, a laser procedure that treated tongue-ties, I drove home in my car. I’d offered this laser treatment when I had my California practice too. It had helped so many mothers trying to breastfeed their infants. If the connective tissue under the tongue was too short or too tight, that could prevent babies from latching on to breastfeed. If untreated, some people grew up with a lisp. But every case was different and needed a thorough analysis. It made me happy to make a difference without breaking people’s bank accounts. I didn’t charge people as much as I should.
On one hand, the lower fees helped people but also made them question my skills and professionalism. But repeat patients knew how good I was. On the other hand, I wouldn’t be saving enough for my retirement.
But I wasn’t doing this work for money.
People assumed I was happy with a successful career. Sometimes, I was happy. But most times, I was as alone as a hawk, hunting in the sky. Was the hawk ever sad? Did it wish it had a companion to soar with?
Maybe the hunter was alone because it didn’t want to rely on someone. Doing things my way was easier and more efficient. I didn’t have to explain anything to anyone or wait for any outside approval.
No one could get close enough to hurt me. But that also meant I could never be intimate with anyone either. My dad and Kaylee were the closest to me. But even then, I hardly shared my private thoughts with them.
But damn it. This yearning to let everything go blazed through me. For some stupid reason, I’d wanted to share my burden with Arrow. My heart had cracked open a little for him on the day he’d kissed me. I’d been too vulnerable.
I hated when my mind wandered back to him. Shaking him away, I steered my thoughts back to how I could make a difference in the world. I was a Vietnamese-Chinese-American individual with a blend of culture to share.
If I had all the money in the world, what would I do? I’d create the most exceptional dental tools for my patients to make their visits feel like a spa retreat. I had ideas, but had shoved them away because I didn’t have a clue where to begin. Wasting my time on farfetched things wasn’t beneficial to me. But that didn’t stop me from dreaming about a larger dental fund to help those who couldn’t afford care. I’d love to open dental clinics in places that didn’t offer dental care. While parts of the world thrived with new technology, other parts were still stuck trying to find basic needs. I’d start with Vietnam and China because they were my roots.
I blinked and realized I was halfway home when I stopped at the red light. I’d been driving mechanically, not paying attention to the road. That wasn’t good at all.
A burst of laughter drew my attention to the sidewalk. Arrow stood with his ex, Sylvia. Ugh. In two days, I’d seen enough of them.
I get it, universe. You’re telling me to move on.
Couldn’t I just let my emotions roll through me at their own pace? I couldn’t just take out the disappointment and sadness in me as though they were teeth extractions. If things were that easy to discard, no one would have issues.
Jealousy emerged in me. I shouldn’t be jealous. I’d been the one who kept rejecting him. But I didn’t like seeing him with her. A car honked from behind me, and I jerked at the sudden disruption.
“Green means go!” a man shouted.
I waved a hand to apologize to the angry guy behind me.
Arrow turned in my direction from all the honking as I sped off.
Enough was enough. It was time to vent. When I got to my apartment, I texted the girls.
Vivian: Wanna meet up tonight?
Audri: Come over to my place. New jewelry just arrived.
Michelle: I’m out of state. Send pics.
Natalie: Sorry. We’re in Paris visiting my mom.
Kiera: I’ll be there!
Vivian: See you soon.
I had to do something for myself tonight. Something fun that would put me at ease. I didn’t want to think of men. If I saw another man, I’d probably stab him with something.
I called Kaylee. “How are you doing?
“We’re about to watch another movie,” she said with a mouthful of something.
Kaylee was at Violet’s house for a sleepover this weekend. Violet lived with her mom one floor below ours.
“I’m heading over to Audri’s. Call me if you need anything.”
“I won’t need anything. Have fun!”
Kaylee was the most responsible teenager I’d ever met. Sometimes she acted as though she were my mom. She spewed wisdom that kids shouldn’t have. Kids these days know more about things than adults give them credit for.
I always knew where Kaylee was, and she always knew where I was. That was our deal, and she’d never disappointed me.
Knowing that she was safe allowed me to let loose. Tonight, I needed my friends to cheer me up. I needed their sound advice. Just their presence was good enough as well. Maybe after tonight I’d rekindle my friendship with Bullseye on the app. Or maybe I’d meet someone new.
But no. That would be for all the wrong reasons. Whatever. I’d think about that later.
I arrived and parked on the side near Audri’s massivestudio. Remington had added the addition to their home not too long ago for her to work at home when she wanted to. She had a gorgeous flagship store downtown inside the same building as Natalie’s clothing collection.
I walked to the lounge area of Audri’s studio, where Kiera sat on the comfy couches. Her long brown hair was tied into a ponytail.
“Where’s Audri?” I asked.
“Getting appetizers for us.”
I placed the bottles of CheckMate Black and CheckMate Red on the wooden coffee table.I needed to get them out of my apartment once and for all. They reminded me too much of him.
“Oh, I haven’t had either of these yet. May I?” Kiera reached for a bottle and examined it.
She had the glow of love around her. She and Forrest recently got engaged, and I’d agreed to be one of her bridesmaids. They hadn’t set a wedding date yet because Kiera was taking her time.
“Open it,” I said. “They’re for us tonight.”
“Where did you get these?” she asked, pouring herself a glass. “I heard Forrest talking about Arrow’s new wine, but it wasn’t ready for the market yet.”
“I attended a wine expo. Who knew there were so many types of wine around the world?”
“It’s big business.” Kiera sipped and purred. “So good.”
Audri walked in with a platter of appetizers. “I want some.” She wore her black hair in a side braid.
“Sorry. My bad.” Kiera laughed, pouring Audri and me a glass.
I sipped the wine, letting it seduce my mouth before swallowing. It had an earthy flavor with a mild level of sweetness.
“Did you know that bamboo wine has medicinal properties?” I’d done my research when I first got the bottles.
“Forrest uses bamboo for his alternative medicine,” Kiera said.
“The wine can potentially help with digestion and lowering blood pressure,” I added.
“In moderation,” Audri added. “Anything to the extreme reverses its effect, right?”
“Yup. That goes with anything. Even food.” I reached for a small dumpling and popped it into my mouth. I sat on the soft floor pillow close to the coffee table.
“I love how light it tastes,” Audri said.
“Arrow gave me the wine. He’d like your honest feedback.”
“How come he didn’t give us a bottle?” Kiera looked at me suspiciously above the rim of the wineglass. “What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing!” I said too quickly. “He was at the wine expo and gave me some to bring home. He asked for an honest review. That’s all.” My heart raced for no reason.
“Uh-uh.” Kiera wagged a finger at me.
Audri placed a hand on my shoulder and said in an amused tone, “We don’t buy it.”
Oh no.I recognized that look in her eyes. Audri sat down beside me.
“Buy what?” I played coy and made everything worse.
The girls laughed.
“Your ability to lie is awful.” Kiera beamed.
“We’ve all been there, babe. Tell us what’s on your mind. You started the text earlier, so you have something to tell.”
“What if I just missed hanging out with my girls?” I finished my wine, and Kiera refilled it.
“You’ve missed the last few gatherings and now you’re suddenly in need of one? You need our advice. C’mon, we’re all ears.” Audri propped an elbow on the table, resting her chin on her palm, eyeing me.
Kiera did the same.
I grinned at the curious faces looking at me. They could read me. I’d declined the last few invitations because of more pressing matters. Following up on clues regarding Aimee’s whereabouts took time. I had to fly back to meet with the judge on Kaylee’s adoption case, and my dad had an urgent heart surgery. But I didn’t tell them any of this.
They had given me the privacy I needed. That was genuine friendship, wasn’t it? The wine relaxed me just as I had hoped. I had to eliminate these feelings for Arrow. Maybe they could tell me he was an ugly jerk, that I’d be better off liking someone else.
Yes. Perfect.
What should I tell them?
“You’re having a private conversation with yourself.” Kiera smiled at me. “Want to share?”
I couldn’t hide anything from them.
“We’re friends, aren’t we?” Audri asked. “Do you trust us?”
“Of course, I do.”
“Then why didn’t you come to the last outing with us?” Kiera narrowed her eyes.
“I had to take care of my sister.”
“What?!” Kiera scrunched up her pretty face.
“You have a sister?” Audri asked.
“How come we don’t know about her? Why haven’t we met her? She could have joined our girls’ nights.”
I opened my mouth and said, “Oh, I thought I already told you.” But then I realized I had shared nothing about Kaylee. I didn’t want to complicate my life in Providence when I would be returning to California as soon as I found Aimee. I hadn’t expected to find an amazing circle of friends.
“I’m her guardian, her big sister. Kaylee is only thirteen years old.”
“Girl, we know you’re a private person. Butwhen you’re friends with me, I need to know these things.” Kiera fluttered her eyes. “I don’t bite, you know.”
“You can trust us.” Audri squeezed my shoulder. “I’d like to meet Kaylee.”
I nodded. “Sure. She’d love to browse your jewelry store.”
“I’d love to give her a tour.” Audri got up. “Speaking of which, I have a new collection for you to check out.”
“Are you hiding anyone else?” Kiera asked.
“No.” I laughed. “It’s just me and Kaylee here in Providence.” I gulped down the wine, and Kiera opened the bottle of CheckMate Red since the black label was empty.
The red label had a lighter sweetness compared to the black label. Both were delicious in their own way.
“You can tell us how you became a big sister after you tell us about Arrow.” Kiera winked.
Audri glanced out the window. “Speak of the devil. He just arrived with a box of wine. The boys are hanging out in the man cave today.”
Oh, God.Nerves spiraled in my stomach as though a thousand butterflies had broken free from their cocoons. But then the image of him smiling with his ex at the restaurant and on the sidewalk earlier popped into my head, and I scowled.
I wanted his attention.
“If you wanted me that much, why are you with your ex?” The thoughts came out of my mouth before I could stop them.
“Arrow can’t hear you.” Grinning, Kiera pushed herself up. “Want me to go get him?”
“You’d better not!” I yanked her back down and wrapped an arm around her neck as if we were dueling.
“Help me, Audri!” Kiera pretended to choke.
We both laughed like idiots.
Releasing Kiera, I sighed. “Yes, I’m attracted to him. But I don’t trust him.”
Audri and Kiera listened intently.
“He’s asked me out several times, but I’ve always said no.” Needing more warmth for courage, I gulped down the wine. “I think he moved on just as I was thinking of giving him a chance.”
“What makes you think that?” Audri asked.
“I saw him with his ex twice this week. She was all over him.”
“Who’s his ex?” Kiera turned to Audri.
“Sylvia Ormon. Social media influencer.”
“Oh. I remember her now. They didn’t last long. She seemed more into him than he was into her,” Kiera said. “He’s never brought her to any of our get-togethers.”
“Never?” Curiosity sparked in me.
Audri shook her head. “Nope, but I don’t know why.”
“We have a close-knit group.” Kiera stretched out her legs. “Maybe he’s being extremely selective about who he shows off?”
“I was seeing someone on a dating app too,” I blurted out.
“What?” Audri and Kiera’s eyes went wide as I told them the story.