Chapter 77 #2
“The two of us alone? We would not get within a thousand feet of them. No, Vis. I will not delay my death so that you can join me in it.”
I don’t pursue it. Exactly the reasoning I expected. “They won’t be free if you die. Your Septimii. Redivius will just force them to serve the next man, and the next, until finally they are tethered to one who lacks the honour that you have. Which I promise you, will not take long at all.”
A flicker in his eyes, at that. He knows the truth of it.
“You all believe in ddram cyfraith,” I press.
Intent. It’s hard, conveying the right emotion.
Everything’s so taut in my head and though I want him to see how desperately I need him to listen, some part of me has to stay tight and cold and in control.
Otherwise, I may yet break. Break and not be able to recover.
“What would they say, Eidhin? Which is the better sacrifice? Their deaths for your freedom, or your death for their situation to become worse?”
There’s a twitch this time, and I see the argument hits home. Eidhin wavers.
Then he frowns. Touches the armband again. “How did you come to imbue this?” he asks suddenly.
I close my eyes. I could lie. It would be easier.
“Your father.”
“My father.” He spits it. Anger erasing whatever persuasion he had begun to feel. “Of course he said that. He told you this was a diversion, too, did he not? Used you? You should know how I feel about—”
“Of course I do. But just because he lied about the one, makes the other no less true.”
“It does, Vis! The man does nothing but manipulate.” He issues a stream of Cymrian invective. “I am sorry. Truly. But I must go before someone comes looking for me.” He wraps me in another embrace. Lingers in it, just for a moment. This one is to say farewell.
Then he is walking away.
“Eidhin.”
He pauses.
“I do understand.” Heart thudding. Sick to my stomach, even through everything else.
I knew it would come to this, and perhaps it’s the wrong decision.
Perhaps it won’t make a difference. But if I don’t try, I’ll never forgive myself.
I cannot lose him. Not him too. “I know what it’s like to be responsible for a people.
To need to protect them above yourself. And I know what it’s like to feel like you have no choice but to do things you otherwise would never do. ”
He frowns. Turns fully, now, to regard me curiously.
A heartbeat. Two. And I cautiously, cautiously let the tiniest shard of what has happened tonight back in. It hurts, far more than any of my physical pains. But I need him to hear this.
“My name is not Vis.” I’m almost light-headed at the words.
“My name is Diago, son of Cristoval. I am—I was—a prince of Suus, before the Hierarchy invaded.” I limp back over to some rubble.
Sit heavily. “They killed my family and they would have killed me too if I hadn’t escaped.
I’ve hidden from them for nearly five years.
And in that time, the only people who found out were the Anguis. ”
I let the metal flow upward from my chest, until my mask settles in place. My arm forms from the supports of my legs, and I flex it for him.
“I let them use me.” My voice breaks from behind the iron.
A desolate admission to myself as much as him, now.
“I let them manipulate me because I was afraid—afraid for myself, afraid for those I cared for. They made me think I didn’t have a choice.
They asked for more, and more, and I gave it to them.
” I let the metal retreat again. Back to my legs.
Back to the armour. “You’ll serve them until you break or die, Eidhin.
And in the end, you won’t have done the right thing.
You won’t have made a difference. You’ll just have mitigated one tiny part of their evil, by helping them advance another.
” I shake my head slowly. Letting my weary grief infuse the words.
“These decisions feel so impossible. I know. The consequences fill your vision. They know we value loyalty and family and friendship above all else. But my friend, they don’t, and there will always be people for them to hurt.
To threaten us with. As long as we let ourselves be their prisoners, nothing will change.
” I hesitate. “And in the end, they will destroy the ones we love anyway,” I whisper.
Eidhin sits. As stunned as I have ever seen him. He looks at me as if I am a stranger, and I cannot think of a glance that has hurt more, though I see no anger in it. Only lost, sad confusion.
Silence, and I stare at the ground miserably.
“You were forced to do this. To be … this.” He finally gestures. Says the words not as a question, but as a reassurance to himself. A desperation to believe it.
“No. I told myself I had no choice, but I did. That’s the point.
I should have drawn my line long ago.” I take a deep breath.
Lump in my throat, but then I’m crushing it down ruthlessly once again.
Perhaps it is unfair to tell him this now.
But he needs to know. “Eidhin, Aequa is dead. Decimus killed her in front of me today, because Iro died.” His face twists in unaffected pain but I press on, not letting the emotion stop me.
“You once told me that death is meaningless if it does not change us. I can’t take back what I helped begin, can’t change any of this.
But I can at least try to make it matter. ”
He sits there. Horror painting his features. In shock, but he also knows the urgency of our situation, knows that whatever decision he makes must be made now.
“I have many, many questions. Most of them can wait. But I need you to answer me at least this one,” he says eventually. “These men—Redivius, Laurentius, Decimus—they are all the same. One monster with different faces. So what is your plan? Why should—”
“Breac?” The voice echoes in the abandoned alley. Only a moment’s notice and then the other man Eidhin was with appears, spear at the ready. Eyes widening as he spots me. My missing arm. “You’re Catenicus.”
“Siollan.” Eidhin puts up his spear, spreading his hands to indicate there’s no threat.
Siollan’s eyes flash to black.
It happens so fast. Eidhin steps between me and his comrade.
Siollan’s face twists. Jumpy, or overeager, or just not willing to risk talking—it doesn’t matter.
He’s angry, or scared, and his spear is in his hand.
Arm cocked back. I send metal shards at him as he hurls, take him in the throat with a slashing, gurgling spray, but I’m too late.
The spear is already airborne. Eidhin firmly in its path.
Then Diago is there, leaping.
The spear takes him in the throat.
There’s a heartbeat where I don’t believe it. A sharp howl of pain from the animal as it staggers back.
“NO!” I’m screaming the word. The alupi is on his side, twitching and yelping, the sound shrill.
Siollan’s glassy eyes stare upward. Eidhin’s hands fall to his side in dismay and shock as I skid to my knees next to Diago; his teeth are bared and he almost looks like he’s going to snap at me, but I put a hand on his head and he just wheezes as I stroke him.
Biting in occasional helplessness at the protruding haft.
“Vek.” I don’t know what to do. There’s blood covering my hands, but somehow, not as much as there should be. Perhaps it has missed the artery? “Do we pull it out?”
Eidhin is on his knees by my side. Gestures helplessly. “Won’t that just make it worse?”
I groan, using my blade to slice through the haft. “You’ll be alright. You’ll be alright,” I murmur to the wolf, the desperation in my voice a prayer.
Diago is still snarling, but he staggers to his feet. Eyes red. Dribbling blood from his mouth.
“How is he still standing?” whispers Eidhin, patting him as if the act will somehow heal his wounds. I press my head gently against the animal’s. It seems to calm him, just enough.
“I don’t know.” Heart pounding with terror and hope. The alupi should be bleeding out but he seems merely injured. Seems. “Rotting gods. We need to get him back to Domus Telimus.”
Eidhin gazes at the dead soldier. Closes his eyes. “Siollan was here for his Septimii, too. No different to me.”
“He was different because he had no option. You do.”
“Do I?” Eidhin finally looks at me. “You want me to come with you? How would me fighting beneath someone like Decimus be any better than this?”
“It wouldn’t be. Which is why I’m not asking you to.
Gods, I intend to make sure Decimus sees justice and there is only one way that can happen.
” I leave no doubt how serious I am about the last, that seething ice in my stomach back and focusing me again.
“Your father has taken care of my going back, anyway; the Senate will think I’m a traitor soon enough.
He probably thought it would force me to go with you. But there is another path.”
Eidhin frowns. “Which is?”
“We let this battle run its course without us, and use the enemy of our enemy to try and end the war.” I exhale.
Can barely believe I’m saying it aloud, but this is the only way.
“I think this whole conflict was started to disrupt the plans of the Concurrence, somehow. Princeps Exesius was working with someone. Ceding to them, along with the other two Princeps. It had to have been the man Veridius told us about. Ka. Not some unknowable force, Eidhin. A person. And a person can be negotiated with.”
Eidhin looks at me. “A person who wants to cause another Cataclysm, and kill you,” he eventually says disbelievingly. Clearly choosing, at least for now, to disregard what I said about the Princeps’s ceding in favour of my more pressing madness.
“But who for some reason didn’t want this war.” It’s the only thing that makes sense. The only thing that fits with everything I know. “And is now short a Princeps.”
Silence.
“I know it sounds insane, but think about it,” I urge grimly.
“I have a combination of things that none of these Quartii have. A family with a long Military tradition. A name big enough within the Senate to legitimise a claim. Popular support from Octavii and Septimii. Strong ties to Governance. I’m young, yes, but the pretenders have already thrown out tradition in order to favour strength as the only qualification, so, gods—if I can really threaten them, there’s a good chance I can get at least some to fall in line without bloodshed!
And given what we know about Ka, a real threat is something he might just be able to provide.
” I lick my lips. “I know it’s desperate but we are desperate, Eidhin.
Ka won’t trust me. Probably will still aim to kill me, once I’ve served his purpose.
But if he truly needs a return to stability for some reason—and given everything I’ve learned, I have to believe that he does—then I may actually be his best option. And that makes him ours.”
Eidhin runs a hand through his hair. Looking lost. “So to be clear: you want to go to the man who intends to destroy the world. Strike a deal to help him. Free my people. Become Princeps of Military. Bring an end to the civil war.”
“It’s ambitious,” I allow.
He grunts. “And then we stop him?”
“No, then we let him kill everyone.”
He glares. “Just making certain,” he mutters to my sarcasm. “And if all this man wants is for the Cataclysm to occur, and you—perhaps our only hope of preventing it—present yourself to him for a nice easy killing?”
“Then the inevitable just happens sooner, because we’re all dying anyway right now.
Dying because greedy men want more. If you go out there, you will die.
If I stay near Decimus, I will die. Perhaps not today, or tomorrow, but soon.
And it will be for nothing.” I clench my fist. “Redivius. Decimus. Religion, Governance, Military, the Anguis. They’re burning the world, Eidhin, and they’re not stopping.
If we let them, if all the good people end up dead, what’s even left worth saving? ”
Eidhin gazes at the body across from us. Diago whines in pain, but is still, somehow, standing.
“Alright. Alright,” he says softly. Disbelievingly. “If this works, we rescue my people. If it doesn’t, then … well. I suppose everyone dies and it does not matter. So how do we make contact with him?”
I sigh. Let the metal mask form again.
“I stop hiding.”