Chapter Sixty Gemma
Chapter Sixty
Gemma
The morning of April’s wedding arrives and I’m still shitting myself over the fact that Anna and I haven’t spoken in almost a week. I feel sick.
April touched a nerve on Thursday night.
As confronting as it was to hear her dissect my dating life, she was right.
I’ve spent the last couple days thinking—properly reflecting—about the mess I’ve made of things instead of just drowning in wine, self-pity, and dick.
Turns out I’ve been so preoccupied protecting my heart that I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be truly happy.
What a fucking revelation.
After rinsing off the spray tan I marinated in last night, I lather on a thick coat of vanilla and coconut lotion over my bronze skin.
April and James canned tradition—they opted not to have hen or bachelor parties—instead spending their last night as boyfriend and girlfriend together rather than apart. Anna and I are meeting at April’s house to get ready.
Today will be the first time I’ve seen Anna since she discovered me and Max, and to say I’m nervous would be an understatement. That’s like asking “Do you think the Titanic had a bit of a leak?”
Truth be told, I want to open myself up to the possibility that Max and I could have something magical together. I want to try. But I need to speak to Anna first.
I triple-check my day bag to ensure I haven’t forgotten anything before jumping in an Uber.
Anna isn’t there when I arrive at April’s, so we indulge in celebratory coffee and brownies while we wait.
“How are you feeling?” I ask April, settling into her kitchen, cradling a steaming mug.
She inhales a sharp breath and her hands flutter to her chest. “It doesn’t feel real.” Her face glows as she speaks. “I’m so happy, Gem. I can’t wait to marry him.”
A soft smile spreads across my face as I watch her with such overwhelming tenderness.
My heart expands at the pure elation in every word. She’s about to spend the rest of her life with the man of her dreams, and despite everything we’ve all been through this week, this moment is untouchable.
“He’s the luckiest man in the world to have you. You’re perfect for each other, and I’m so proud of you,” I tell her.
It wasn’t easy for April and James to get here. After Lucas broke her heart, I wasn’t sure she’d ever trust someone enough to walk down the aisle again. But she did. She fought for love and won.
And if she can find her happily ever after following such a tremendous heartbreak, then maybe so can I.
The doorbell rings and I nearly soil myself.
April’s eyes flick to me. “It’s going to be fine,” she reassures.
When she opens the door, Anna stands at the threshold, bridesmaid dress in hand and dark circles under her eyes. Still, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, she smiles through her pain, wrapping an arm around April and pulling her in for a firm hug.
“You’re getting married today!” She beams.
“I can’t believe it,” April says. “Oh, my phone’s ringing. I’ll be right back.”
Anna frowns. “What? No, it’s not. You don’t even have your phone.”
April plucks the dress from Anna’s hand and dashes upstairs to hang it across her bedroom curtain rail with mine, leaving Anna and I standing in awkward silence.
Turd.
Anna and I stare at each other wordlessly, and when I can’t stomach it anymore, I take a step forward.
“Hey,” I say, my voice small.
Her mouth curves upward. “Hey.”
“April told me about you and Mason.” The words tumble out. “Anna, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me most, and I should have been.”
She shakes her head. “I kept it to myself. I didn’t tell you or April because I think, deep down, I was hoping he would change his mind.
Like if I avoided speaking about it with you and April, it wouldn’t be real.
” She shrugs and straightens her shoulders.
“I’ll be okay. I’ll get through it.” Her eyes shine. “I have my two best friends.”
“Anna, about everything else, I’m so—”
“Oh, that can piss right off,” she interrupts. “Come over here and give me a hug.” She opens her arms wide, and I rush forward without hesitation, squeezing her tight.
“I hate not talking to you,” I whisper against her hair.
“Me too. I just… I needed some time to process,” she says, pulling back.
When she looks at me, her eyes gloss over with emotion.
“The whole thing weirded me out. I was scared that you’d push me away if things went wrong.
I…” She pauses. “He’s my brother, Gem. You guys were sneaking around behind my back for weeks. ”
I hang my head, shame burning through me. “I know. We should have told you as soon as it started.”
“I was upset with you,” she says. “Both of you.”
“I’ll never go behind your back again,” I say. “I promise.”
She nods, gaze dropping to the floor. “Thank you.”
“I love you so much, Anna. When you avoided me all week, I was so scared I’d lost you.”
She lifts her eyes to meet mine. “From what I’ve heard, I’m not the only one who’s been avoiding someone this week.”
She raises her brows expectantly and understanding dawns on me.
Max told her I’m ignoring him.
“Anna—” I start, but she holds up a hand.
“We can talk about that later,” she says. “Today is about April. But Gem?” Her face softens. “We’re okay. And whatever happens, we’ll figure it out. Together.”
I throw my arms around her neck, and she holds me tightly. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much relief in my life.
“Oh, thank God that’s over with,” April says loudly, marching down the stairs. “Now, who’s ready for champagne before hair and makeup arrives?”
Shoulders back, spine straight, arse out, I tell myself as we line up, waiting for our cue to walk down the aisle. Anna’s leading the procession, I follow, and then, of course, April, who will be escorted by James’s mum, Caroline.
The venue is perfect. The ceremony is in the heart of the Royal Botanic Gardens at Kew, surrounded by beautiful trees and vibrant flowers that wind around the altar. The reception will follow inside the glass house, where fairy lights have been strung between exotic plants. It’s enchanting.
April is a total knock-out in her sleeveless ivory gown, wrapped in lace and flowing silk. Anna wears a burgundy dress with an elegant cowl neckline and thin spaghetti straps, and I’m in my dreamy purple halter number. Simple and sophisticated.
“You look gorgeous, girls,” Caroline whisper-shouts from behind us, adjusting April’s train.
Through the gap in the hedge, I watch as the sea of heads turns. James stands hands clasped behind his back with Oliver, Tom, and Will beside him.
Somewhere in that crowd sits Max, and despite my best efforts to focus on April’s big moment, my stomach is having a rave at the thought of seeing him again.
“Ready, ladies?” the venue manager asks, ducking her head around the hedge.
We shoot her a collective nod, and she speaks into her earpiece before soft music carries through the garden.
Anna takes the first steps gracefully, and I suck in a deep breath and count to ten, just like we rehearsed, before following in her wake.
Heads turn, people gasp, and guests prepare their tissues as we walk down the aisle.
My gaze scans the crowd of faces until suddenly, it collides with a pair of ocean blue eyes that slam into me like a wave.
He’s standing three rows from the front in a charcoal suit. His hair pushed back like the night of the launch party.
He’s so damn handsome.
He stands with his and Anna’s parents, his hands clasped in front of him.
I force one foot in front of the other and focus on making it down the aisle without tripping over my own nerves.
When I reach the end, I flash James a smile, which he returns warmly, and take my place just before April begins her walk down.
And when the guests gasp, all eyes turning to April, I follow suit.
She looks like she’s just stepped out of a fairy tale, all ethereal and shit.
I can’t contain my emotions. Rivulets of tears stream down my cheeks, and I say a silent prayer to the makeup artist for using waterproof mascara and a boatload of setting spray.
Out of the corner of my eye, I know Max isn’t looking at April. I can feel his eyes burning into me and my skin prickles with awareness. And while everyone is captivated by our bride, Anna leans in beside me, her voice a soft, barely there whisper.
“He told me he’s in love with you, you know.”
My stomach drops so hard, I swear I could shit out my actual soul.
And for just one dangerous split second, I allow myself to look at him again, and I silently beg him to read everything I’m feeling but can’t bring myself to speak. All the love, all the fear, and all the need I’ve been shoving down for the past week.
And the way he’s looking at me tells me that I’m the only person at this entire wedding who matters.