21. Lizzy
I have no idea how long I’ve stayed plastered against Cameron’s chest. I’m wrecked beyond belief. I couldn’t move if I tried. My arms feel like heavy weights, my spine’s nonexistent, and my legs are Jell-O. My eyes may as well be glued shut, and I don’t want to even think about opening them.
My first orgasm of the night had me sated.
This one… well, it might have killed me.
Is this what heaven feels like?
All I can do is breathe in and out, matching my breaths to Cameron’s as my heart rate slows.
I’m certain I’ve never been this blissed out in my life.
I’m vaguely aware when my body shifts, and there’s a burst of cold air against me. But it’s quickly replaced with warmth, and all is forgotten as I snuggle into the softness that surrounds me.
*****
The next thing I know, my head rises and falls with every breath Cameron takes. He’s drawing lazy circles across my back, and I’m snuggled into his side. There’s no place I’d rather be.
“Hey there, sleepyhead,” Cameron greets when I finally force my body to move and make eye contact.
Stretching, I ask, “How long have I been out for?”
“Uh… It’s almost six… So, a few hours,” he says quietly.
“Holy shit. Have you been awake this entire time?”
Pulling me close to his chest again, he kisses the top of my head. “No… I woke up about twenty minutes ago.”
“Why aren’t you sleeping?” I ask.
The moment the words leave my lips, his body tenses.
“I… Uh…” he hesitates, and I frantically dart my eyes to his.
Slowly, he pushes some of my hair behind my ear as his brows knit together.
“What’s wrong, Cameron?” I ask, my chest filling with dread.
“I… Uh… Got carried away last night.”
Unease washes over me, and I start pulling back, but he stops me.
Shaking his head, he quickly adds, “That didn’t come out right… Let me try again.”
“Okay…” I draw out, fear still not eased in the slightest.
His forlorn expression has my stomach tying in knots.
Why is he suddenly fumbling over his words?
Does he think this was a mistake now that he’s had a chance to sleep on it?
Reaching for my hand, he squeezes it once.
“Fuck… I don’t know how to say this… But… We… Uh… Didn’t use protection. It was irresponsible of me, and I’m sorry. I’ve never not used a condom, and I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
Relief washes through me in an instant.
“What are you smiling about?” His question slowly comes out as if he’s piecing together a puzzle he can’t solve.
“First, I’m clean and on birth control. I also haven’t been with anyone since you. So… We should be safe there.”
When his brows knit together, confusion washes over me once again.
I replay his words in my mind and feel as if something’s off.
“Wait… You’ve never gone without a condom…” That doesn’t make sense. “But… what about Emilia?”
“Condoms are only 98% effective, even when used properly.” he says gravely.
“Are you afraid that I’ll get pregnant?”
It doesn’t make sense.
Why isn’t he looking at me?
“No… Not really. And even if you did, we’d deal with it together , I’m sure.” He’s quiet for moment, then his lips purse together. “Wait… If you weren’t worried about getting pregnant, why did you look upset just now?”
“Uh…” Shit. How do I say this? “I thought maybe you were having second thoughts about us… You know… Since I’m Emilia’s nanny and well… All my family’s connections to you. A lot could happen while I was sleeping.”
He’s quiet for so long, I look away in fear of what he might say.
His finger finds my chin and directs my eyes back to his.
“Let’s get one thing straight… I have zero regrets being with you, Elizabeth.
Sure, we have things we need to talk about, but I’m certain we can figure out the minor details.
For the record, this is between you and me and although your family is important when it comes to you…
as far as I’m concerned, my connections to them professionally will not impact us being together. ”
Again, relief flows through me, but something is still off. As I replay his words in my head, a discrepancy hits. I have no idea what’s happened with Emilia’s mother, but I guess now’s as good of time as any to get to the bottom of my questions.
“Wait… You said you’ve never gone without a condom… Does that mean Emilia wasn’t planned?”
Cameron grunts out a laugh. “Oh, that’s an understatement.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly happened with her mother? You never speak of her.”
“It’s kind of a long story. But you deserve nothing less than the truth.”
He inhales deeply and releases his breath. Then he slowly adds, “I… Uh… Just hope you don’t think differently of me once you know.”
I can’t imagine there’d be much he could say that would change my mind about him. I’ve seen how he is with Emilia. He’s an amazing father and always puts her needs first. He’s kind, thoughtful, and has never shown a single red flag.
Before I can say anything, he quickly adds, “Why don’t I make you some breakfast, and I’ll explain everything?”
As much as I don’t want to leave the cocoon of his bedroom, if he thinks I won’t take it well, maybe I should put some clothes on for this discussion.
Standing from the bed, he walks gloriously naked to his dresser and pulls a pair of boxers from his drawer, then tosses me a t-shirt. “Here put this on.” Then with a sexy smirk, he shrugs. “I’m not exactly sure where your clothes are.”
Thinking back to last night, I grin. “You and me both, buddy.”
Once we’re in the kitchen, Cameron goes through the motion of making blueberry pancakes. To pass the time, I cut some cantaloupe and make each of us a cup of coffee.
When I ask if he wants creamer, he shakes his head. “Just black coffee for me.”
“You have peppermint creamer in the fridge; don’t you drink it?” I point out, clearly confused.
“No…” he draws out, lifting his head to face me. “But you do.”
He winks, and my belly swarms with butterflies. He’s always putting others’ needs first. I have no idea what he’ll tell me about Emilia’s mom, but I find it hard to believe my feelings for him could change because of it.
The next thing I know, we’re sitting at the bar, half-naked for breakfast.
His black t-shirt hits me mid-thigh and since I didn’t want to spend any time apart from him searching for my underwear, I settled for this.
He’s wearing a pair of boxers and nothing more.
He’s sexy as sin and if we didn’t have more pressing issues to address, I might suggest skipping breakfast and feasting on him instead.
Grinning at the thought, I muse, “I could get used to this.”
His navy-blue eyes smolder as he looks me over from head to my painted pink toes. “So could I, Elizabeth.”
After a few bites, I break the silence by ripping the Band-Aid off the elephant stampeding in the room. “So where exactly is Emilia’s mom?”
“I honestly don’t know,” he admits.
When my eyes widen, he quickly adds, “Like I said, it’s a really long story that starts with a short beginning…” He darts his eyes to mine and back to his food before adding, “Which is why I… Think you might think differently of me.”
“Okay…” I drag out. My mind is already racing with possibilities, but I’m hoping my silence prompts him to put me out of my misery soon.
Clearing his throat he starts, “I met Heather, Emilia’s mom, in Boston.
I was on tour, promoting Purple Flame, an alternative rock band.
They were making a name for themselves and had quite a bit of groupies.
I was fresh out of college and single as could be, living up the rockstar lifestyle.
My life consisted of riding the tour bus, promoting the hell out of the band, and searching for new talent. ”
I cringe at that last bit; I know exactly what kind of lifestyle he was living. My sisters have spent months on tour buses, and the single guys are never lonely, or so I’m told.
Cameron takes a long drink of juice, then continues, “Heather had come to an after party with her friends. She wasn’t interested in the band as it was her friend’s favorite.
She had never even heard of them and was just along for the ride.
Apparently, from the moment they arrived at the party, she had her eyes set on me.
She was on vacation from Salt Lake, attending college and was looking for an experience she’d never forget.
“I was young… Dumb… And… Well, you get it. Being part of management, I was never into groupies. But when we started talking, and she told me she wasn’t into the guys in the band whatsoever, and her interest was only in me, it made her stand out from other girls I’d met on tour.
As we talked, we quickly found we had more in common than I would’ve imagined… Not that it matters.”
Sighing heavily, he shakes his head and looks to me.
“I won’t lie to you. You’ve seen Emilia.
She’s beautiful… And she gets a lot of that from her mom.
Sure, I’m mixed in there… But keep in mind, I was twenty-four…
Single and living what I thought was my best life touring with the guys from Purple Flame. ”
“Most guys that age would do the same,” I admit.
“Heather and I literally spent one night together… Hell… I wouldn’t even call it that. A few hours at best… But it changed my life forever.”
Sighing heavily, he glances my way. “I swear to you, I never heard from her again until nearly eight months later. By then, I was back in LA, and she was long forgotten. Heather tracked me down via the label and made an appointment to meet with me.”
My stomach clenches when he adds, “As awful as it is, I didn’t even know her last name. When she walked into my office, round belly and all, I was shocked to say the least. I recognized her instantly but didn’t understand why she’d track me down.”
Holy shit, I can’t imagine being a fly on that wall.
“At first, I’d thought for sure she was out for money… If the baby was even mine. Everyone would question it… Given our circumstances. But Heather didn’t come to ask anything of me.”