27. Lizzy #2
“Great,” Daniel says. “I’m going to spray your arm to numb it. Then I need to step out for just a sec to grab a smaller needle. It seems they don’t have one for someone her size in this room. While I do that, would you mind changing her into this?” He holds up a pink hospital gown.
“Okay,” Milli says quietly, already interested in the show.
Before Daniel leaves, he hits us with another hard truth. “I’m going to personally make sure Dr. Wilks is on her way. Once I get the IV started, she’ll likely have some tests she wants me to run.”
“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” I ask desperately.
“I can’t say for certain, but please note I will make sure Emilia’s considered a priority until we find out.”
The moment he steps out, my sister steps to my side and wraps around me. In a quiet whisper, she says, “It’s gonna be all right. We’ll get through this.”
*****
I’m stuck in the worst game of hurry up and wait of my life.
The last few hours have been a blur. Milli’s been poked, prodded, and given a series of tests. She’s had both a CT scan as well as an ultrasound, and we’re waiting on the results so the doctor can tell us how to proceed.
The worst part of it all—I still haven’t heard from Cameron.
Since I still don’t have any concrete updates, I’ve held off on calling again. I know him. He’s already going to freak out. He felt guilty enough leaving her here. I can’t imagine how he’ll react to knowing we’re at the hospital.
Glancing at the clock, I realize we’ve been here for less than three hours, though let’s face it, it feels like three years.
It’s agonizing waiting like this. Every nurse that comes in to check on her has me jumping in my seat, hoping they’ll bring us something substantial to proceed with.
Now that Milli’s pain is managed, and she’s currently napping, sitting here is almost bearable.
“I’m going to use the restroom and check in with everyone. Do you need anything?” Lanie asks, standing near the door.
“No. I’m good.” I sigh, leaning my head back against the wall behind me. I close my eyes and do my best to remain relaxed.
Lanie’s been my rock through this. She’s held my hand and asked questions I didn’t even think to ask the doctors. I don’t know what I’d do without her or the rest of my family for that matter.
I’m startled by the door sliding open.
When I see Dr. Wilks instead of a nurse, I’m simultaneously relieved to know I’ll get answers, yet on edge for what’s to come. Her grave expression doesn’t help. She doesn’t examine Milli or look at any charts. Instead, she grabs the rolling stool and sits down in front of me.
“I’ve just gotten the results for all her tests and there’s no doubt in my mind Emilia’s appendix is the culprit. From what I can tell, it hasn’t ruptured… yet. But I’m not willing to take that chance much longer.”
“Her dad’s in California…” I start but don’t know where I’m going with it.
“I understand that. But this truly is an emergency situation. If her appendix ruptures, it’ll be far worse for Emilia and her recovery.
Thankfully, the paperwork you brought in allows you to make the decision for him in his absence.
But in this emergent situation, the hospital would operate on her regardless of any paperwork.
I’d like to get her prepped and into surgery within the hour if possible.
It could very likely rupture at any time and the sooner we get it out, the less complications we’ll have going forward. ”
Handing me the papers she has in her hand, she points to the place where I would sign for consent.
Fuck, what do I do? Cameron should be the one making this decision.
She needs this, Elizabeth. Get your shit together. Stop freaking the fuck out and sign the damn paper.
Taking a fortifying breath, I reach for the pen in her hand and scribble my signature across the page.
“Okay, we can let her rest for now, but in a few minutes, a slew of people will be in here to care for Emilia. I find it’s easier if the parent, or in your case caregiver, stays with their child until they go under.
This means we’ll have you get gowned up and have you join us in the operating suite.
Once she’s under anesthesia, a nurse will lead you to the waiting room for family and visitors. ”
Holy shit. This is happening so fast.
“Ms. Lancaster?”
Shit. She’s waiting for a response. “Okay. I’ll do that.”
“I promise the moment the surgery is over, I’ll personally come to tell you how it went. I know this is scary, but it’s necessary. I’ve successfully completed this exact surgery dozens of times. She’s in good hands. I assure you. Do you have any questions for me before I leave to get prepped?”
“Uh… how long does it typically take?” I ask, trying to get all the pertinent information for when Cameron finally calls.
“It typically takes about an hour. If for some reason it goes longer, I will send someone from the OR to update you.”
I nod in understanding. God, this is so much to take in. “Okay. Thank you.”
The door opens, and a determined nurse comes in, pushing buttons on monitors and unhooking cords from Emilia. I feel so helpless just standing here watching them. But not wanting to get in their way, I stay seated beside Milli’s bed.
When a second nurse comes in, Milli stirs. “Where’s My Iz?” she says, sleepy.
Reaching for her hand, I squeeze it reassuringly. “I’m right here, sweet girl.”
She darts her wide eyes around the room, then they meet mine. “I want my daddy!”
“I know, Mills. He loves you and will be here as soon as he can.”
“What are they doin’?” she asks, watching the nurses in full action mode.
What the fuck do I even say?
How do I tell her she’s going into surgery?
Does she even know what surgery is?
She’s three for fuck’s sake. Why would she know?
“We found out it’s your appendix that’s making you sick. The doctor is going to make you better by taking it out.”
With wide eyes, she looks around at the chaos in the room. “Will you stay with me?”
“I’ll be with you as long as I can.” I won’t lie to her, but I’m not telling her the entire truth either.
I can’t do that to her. Needing her to understand what’s happening, I quickly explain, “They’re going to make you really sleepy, then when you wake up, your appendix will be gone, and I’ll be waiting for you. ”
She nods but doesn’t say anything.
The next forty minutes is a complete blur. When my sister comes back from the bathroom, I fill her in on everything. With everything happening so fast, she assures me she’ll wait with me when Milli goes into surgery.
When it’s time, I help Milli get transferred to a gurney and hold her hand the entire way to the operating room. Once inside, I couldn’t tell you any of the details of the operating room, other than it was bright, cold, and so sterile.
It took everything in me to just be there for Milli. To stay strong and not show her just how scared I am for her.
Just as she’s about to be transferred to the table, the doctor says it’s time to say goodbye.
Hugging her, I promise, “Love you, sweet girl, I’ll see you when you wake up.”
“Love you, Iz.”
The doctor tells her to count as high as she can.
I’ll never in my life forget her sweet little voice echoing through the room.
“One… two… three… four…fff…”
My heart breaks into a million pieces when it’s time to walk away.