Chapter 5
5
A s a rule, Sarah was not much of a drinker. But at the Camp Firefly Falls staff party that night, she desperately wished she could lose herself in a vat of margaritas. She didn’t dare indulge. It was far too important that she maintain her cover as Taryn. That meant her wits needed to stay sharp while looking like she was imbibing. She had plenty of experience from college with covering up the fact that she wasn’t drinking as much as everyone else. Someone had to be the responsible one, sober enough to take care of business should anything go awry. She’d done that for her sister and others. But never had she wished more for the dulling edge of alcohol.
After the near miss with Michael this morning, she and Beckett had decided it would be best if they weren’t joined at the hip in front of everyone for the duration of the drills. It was ridiculous to miss him after only a matter of hours. But he was the only one here who knew who she really was. The only one she didn’t have to fool. When she’d agreed to this insanity, she hadn’t realized how much of a strain it would be. Pretending to be Taryn for an hour or two, or even a day, was one thing. Being her for nearly two weeks? They weren’t so different that fooling strangers was a problem. Both competitive. Both athletic. Both with similar interests. Taryn was simply bolder. Less inhibited. And, at times, more reckless. The latter was hardly something Sarah intended to put on display here, but she was so anxious about the whole thing, every single remark from people felt like the potential for discovery.
“—think we ought to have some kind of Love Boat themed activity for Singles Week. What do you think, Taryn?”
Sarah fought not to jerk with guilt. Spy craft definitely was not her calling.
She shifted her attention to Charlie Thayer, a former romance editor who was taking the summer here to find himself.
“If what people are saying about Singles Week is true, I don’t know that it matters what sort of matchmaking activities you set up. Horny people will find other horny people and presumably engage in activities to their mutual satisfaction.”
“I mean, yeah. But that’s just sex. I’m talking about creating opportunities to make people really connect so that they have a real shot at meeting someone special.”
Do not look at Beckett. Do not look at Beckett. But she was aware of him across the room. Knew that if she turned her head only a fraction to the right, she’d catch sight of those familiar broad shoulders in a black and white plaid shirt.
She sipped at the drink that was mostly water. “I don’t know if you can orchestrate that or not. Seems like those meaningful connections either happen on their own or they don’t. Trying to manipulate them would be like—I don’t know—trying to make lightning strike.”
“Oh, ye of little faith! I’ve seen it happen. Last summer, my cabinmate totally met the love of his life. Well, it turned out they’d met before, but camp brought them back together.”
As Charlie proceeded to regale the group that had sprawled on the comfortable sofa and chairs in this corner of the main lodge with a recitation of how his cabinmate had turned out to be the firefighter who saved a woman’s life, and how she’d come to camp after learning how to walk again, determined to embrace the life she hadn’t been really living before, Sarah wasn’t entirely convinced this wasn’t the plot of one of the books he’d edited. Because how did two people from such very different worlds make it work? With a lot of effort and a hefty dose of apparently legitimate genius, it turned out.
Good for Hudson and Audrey .
But that wasn’t normal.
And yet, as Sarah’s gaze inevitably slid to Beckett, she understood that degree of wanting to do anything to make it work. No matter how things turned out for Taryn, she’d be sent away from here. From him. The idea of it made her ache.
They barely knew each other, so how was it that he’d become so important to her so fast? They had a connection. Chemistry, certainly. But there was something deeper here, and it scared the shit out of her, even as she wanted to latch on with both hands.
The very idea of it was reckless, and she was never reckless. Recklessness, thoughtlessness, that thirst for adventure and an adrenaline rush—those were all the purview of her twin. All things Sarah had never allowed herself.
But oh, she wanted to allow herself with him.
What would it harm to follow through? She wanted him. No, she wouldn’t get to keep him. That would hurt. But wouldn’t she regret not taking the risk even more? Maybe, for once in her life, she should take a page out of Taryn’s book and reach for what she wanted. No net. No reservations. Just… want.
The idea of it terrified her. But along with that terror came a visceral excitement. What would it be like to be with someone she wanted this much? A part of her was tired of always being the cautious one, the responsible one, the safe one. Deep down, a tiny part of her resented her sister for always getting to be the reckless one. For always being the one to take the risks. Taryn could take those risks because Sarah was always there to bail her out. Who was going to bail Sarah out if she took this leap? Who was going to nurse the broken heart she’d inevitably have when this was over?
Maybe it didn’t matter. Walking away from Beckett, going back to New York, was going to hurt no matter what. And if she was going to hurt anyway, then she wanted the pleasure before.
But there was the question of where. Both of them had roommates in their respective cabins. They couldn’t be assured of privacy in either place. But she’d been thinking about this off and on all day, in between various training exercises. Part of the duties for all the staff was preparing the guest cabins, giving them a clean from top to bottom, prepping new linens, and generally making sure everything was in tip-top shape before the first session began. Each staff member was responsible for a half-dozen cabins. The Tullys didn’t care what schedule things were completed on, so long as they were finished by the deadline. Sarah hadn’t completed hers yet, but she’d taken a look at them today during a lull. Her assigned cabins were on the row farthest away from the main lodge. They could go there.
Given some of the heated looks being passed between various other staff members, they likely wouldn’t be the only ones with that idea at some point during orientation. Staff had access to do their own laundry. She could see that the sheets were fresh and washed, replaced before anyone was the wiser. The longer she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. This ruse could come crashing down at any moment. She didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to be with Beckett while she could.
Finishing off her drink, she rose and wandered over to the buffet of snacks. She felt Beckett before she saw him, though he didn’t touch her.
“You okay?”
“I’m ready to get out of here.” She lifted her gaze to his, letting the heat show through. “Are you?”
His pupils blew wide, and his gaze immediately dropped to her mouth. “Always. What did you have in mind?”
“We slip out separately. I’m going to complain of a headache and say I am headed back to my cabin. Give me about twenty minutes.”
“Your cabin?”
Sarah shook her head, careful not to look at him. There were too many eyes, too many people who could be watching them. Under other circumstances, it wouldn’t matter. But everyone here believed her to be her sister. Beckett wouldn’t be involved with Taryn once the swap was made, so they had to be discrete.
“My cabin cleaning assignments are on the outer rim. Come find me there.”
Heart pounding, she didn’t even spare him a glance before walking back over to the coworkers she’d been sitting with. She rubbed her temples. “I’ve got a bit of a headache. Whiskey always does that to me. I should’ve known better. I’m gonna head on to bed. See you in the morning.”
A flurry of concern and good nights followed this announcement. Sarah waved away any offers to walk her back, and slipped out the side door of the Lodge.
The cool of the night was welcome. Her skin felt taut and feverish. Was she really going to do this? Was she really going to seduce a man she’d known for less than a week? The deep pull of anticipation low in her belly said absolutely yes.
She stopped by her cabin to pick up a few supplies, then slipped back out again sans flashlight to make her way to the outer ring of guest cabins. The quarter moon gave just enough light that she could see. It reflected off the surface of Lake Waawaatesi and made her itch for her camera. She’d try for another shot later. Hopefully there would be time.
The cabin she chose was nestled back among the trees, the third in a row of six she’d be responsible for cleaning, and the farthest from any of the currently inhabited buildings. By her estimation, she had maybe fifteen minutes before Beckett came after her, so she’d use the time to set the stage.
The windows were closed. Each one was screened, so they could open to the fresh air. Under other circumstances, if they had true privacy, she’d appreciate being able to hear the lap of the water on the distant shore and the call of the night birds. But they didn’t have that privacy. Not now. This was borrowed time, so the windows would stay shut. Carefully, she lowered the roller shades before setting the tiny, battery-powered lantern on a side table and dialing it to the lowest setting. No reason to give anyone something to investigate.
Moving quickly, she nudged the two beds together. Might as well give them some space. The two twins together would make a king. She added fresh sheets and pillows, topping the whole thing with one of the soft, fluffy duvets. It didn’t stretch to cover the sides of the shoved together beds, but they wouldn’t be staying the night, and cold was hardly going to be an issue.
Her heart fluttered with every minute that passed. She didn’t wonder if Beckett was coming. She knew he was. He could no more resist the pull between them than she could. She so wanted to satisfy this curiosity. Wanted to let go and enjoy as much as she could, no matter how brief a time they might have.
It was entirely unlike her, but she wasn’t afraid. Not with Beckett. He was a man who made her feel safe, no matter what. It was an appealing and attractive thing to have someone else looking out for her. For once. Hell, maybe that was part of the appeal. She’d never had that before. The sensation of safety and the inherent freedom that came with it was like a drug, and she wanted another hit. With him, she felt as if she could actually take a risk, because so long as he was there, it wasn’t a risk at all.
She considered undressing, waiting for him naked between the sheets. But then they’d lose the fun of getting to strip each other. She wanted his hands on her. Wanted the thrill of feeling each layer disappear, anticipating what came after the unwrapping. So, still dressed, she sat on the edge of the bed to wait.
“Didn’t manage to dig yourself out of the doghouse, huh?”
Beckett dragged his gaze away from the door Sarah had just disappeared through to find Michael studying him over a long-necked beer in a Camp Firefly Falls koozie. “What?”
“I mean, you didn’t even manage to talk to her for more than three minutes before she left. She must really be pissed about today. I’m sorry, man. I know you like her.”
Was it possible for Michael to be any more wrong? Because, unless Beckett was highly mistaken, he’d just been invited to sneak away for some alone time. Prospectively naked alone time. By the very woman his friend thought he’d blown it with.
“Here. Have another beer, and we’ll strategize how to fix this.”
Beckett didn’t want another beer, and he definitely didn’t want advice on his love life from Michael, but Sarah had said give her twenty minutes. He could endure his buddy’s well-meaning suggestions for that long, right?
The beer turned out to be a good idea as Michael continued to elaborate—in great detail—what had gone wrong in every relationship Beckett had attempted in grad school. Because, evidently, “We just weren’t a good fit,” wasn’t actually a valid reason in Michael Tully’s world. The recitation of his relationship faults went on so long, it was more like half an hour before he finally managed to get free and slip out of the lodge.
God, he hoped Sarah was still waiting and hadn’t given up on him. Worse, he hoped she didn’t think he wasn’t coming.
With an eye out for other staff, he took the straightest route he could manage to the specified row of cabins. He had no idea which one she meant, but he trusted in the notion that it would be obvious when he got there.
The faint glow of light from a cabin that was the most off the beaten path was the only clue he had. Beckett made his way up the steps and hesitated at the door, wondering if he should knock. But it wasn’t like Sarah would be expecting anyone else. Nobody had reason to be out here. That was probably why she’d picked it. So, he tried the door. Finding it unlocked, he let himself inside.
Bathed in the dim glow of a small, battery-powered lantern, Sarah sat at the edge of what he could only assume was a freshly made bed. A big bed that he realized was two twins shoved together. That seemed like a pretty clear sign to him.
His heart began to pound with anticipation, but he didn’t rush. Instead, he quietly shut the door behind him. “Hey.”
“Hey, back.”
“Sorry I was late. I got dragged into conversation with Michael.”
He saw the tension snap into her body. “Is there a problem?”
“No. At least not about the swap. He thinks I need help with my love life.”
After a beat of stunned silence, she began to laugh, attempting to muffle the sound with her hand. “Why?”
“Well, that’s partly how I covered for us this morning. He thought I took over out of some misguided attempt to impress you. Letting him keep thinking it seemed the safest way to avoid any more questions. He informed me very seriously that Taryn is not a damsel in distress sort of woman and that that was not the way to impress her.”
She pressed her lips together, clearly trying to suppress a smile. “Well, he’s not wrong. Thank you for throwing yourself on your sword to protect me.”
Though every cell in his body wanted to touch her, he stayed where he was. “Is that why we’re here?”
Her slow breath was loud in the dimness. “We’re here because I want you, and this insanity could be over any day. If today taught me nothing else, it brought that point home.” She lifted her gaze to his. “I don’t want to leave here without being with you.”
By now, Beckett knew her well enough to understand that this was a big deal for her. Because she wasn’t the reckless twin. She was always the one with a plan. Always the one looking out for everyone else. And it was both exciting and humbling that she was willing to take a risk on him. On them.
So he closed the distance between them and tugged Sarah to her feet, pulling her flush with his body, where it was already wildly evident that he was on board with this plan. And yet still he felt the need to be sure, because he didn’t want her to have regrets.
“Is that what we’re doing? Carpe diem and all that?”
She looped her arms around his neck. “Yeah. It’s outside my comfort zone, but I find that, with you, that’s not so scary.”
It wasn’t a promise. Beckett knew it was too early to ask for any. But it was a hell of a lot more than he’d thought he’d get from her.
Her cheek was velvet beneath the stroke of his thumb. “I’ve got you, Sarah.”
She closed her eyes at that. Not as if trying to block the words out, but as if to hold them in. To hold them close. As she relaxed against him, he wondered when the last time was that someone did have her back. Had they ever? Or had she always been the one to take care of everyone else?
Her eyes opened again. “We should probably turn out the light, in case someone sees.”
“Okay.” He reached over to do just that and spotted the string of condoms waiting. “You’re certainly prepared.”
“Pays to be. But they’re part of the cabin supplies. The first session is Singles Week, remember?”
In all the certification prep, he’d forgotten. “Lucky us.”
“Lucky, indeed.”
He switched off the light, and they were plunged into darkness. With the shades drawn, only the faintest glint of moonlight seeped in around the edges. They’d have to explore each other by feel. Beckett couldn’t find a damned thing wrong with that as he found Sarah’s mouth with his. She opened for him, the taste of her flooded his brain, sparking an urgent beat in his blood. Not so much from the threat of being caught—though that was always a possibility—but more a desire to grab hold of every moment they could have together. Because they had a built-in expiration date for this thing between them, unless he could convince her otherwise. This seemed like an excellent way to show her why they shouldn’t let that clock run out.
Frantic hands stripped off shirts, streaking over newly exposed flesh to explore and exploit. He fumbled off her bra and filled his hands with breasts, drinking in her moan as he thumbed her nipples. Needing to taste more, he tore his mouth from hers and bent to suck one of those delicious tight buds into his mouth as he went to work on her shorts. One of her hands dove into his hair, holding him to her as the other worked their way between them and into his jeans and boxers to close around the length of him. They both swore, bucking against each other in a desperate rush to remove the last of their clothes.
Then at last—at last—they tumbled onto the bed in a tangle of naked limbs. Gasping, their mouths fused again as they touched and took. His hand slid down the smooth plane of her belly to dip between her legs. She was hot and so very wet. Her head arched back on a moan as he drew a finger through all that heat. Aware that noise could also bring attention, he took her lips again, swallowing her cries as he slid one finger inside her and began to drive her up. He drove himself out of his mind as he felt her hips riding his hand and added a second finger to her slick, hot channel. Her muffled whimpers grew higher, her pace more fevered, until he shifted his hand again to press his thumb firmly against her clit and felt her detonate.
Glorious. She was glorious in her abandon, and he wanted more.
Even as her body continued to ripple around his fingers, she was reaching for him, curling her own hand around his cock and making him swear.
“Need you,” she gasped.
She was the one who found the condom in the dark and rolled in on. As competitive as she was, he expected her to take control, to push him to his back and straddle him. He didn’t give a damn how she wanted it, so long as he ended up inside her. But instead of taking the lead, she rolled, pulling him over the top of her. As he settled between her thighs, the tip of his erection nudging her entrance, she sighed with pleasure. “God, I love the weight of you.”
Beckett slid the first bare inch inside her and groaned. “You feel incredible.”
“So do you. Keep coming.”
“That’s for you to do.”
On a laugh, she drew him down for another kiss, and he began to sink into her in short, shallow thrusts. Her body was so tight, but it seemed to pull him in with every rock of her hips, until her lovely, long legs were wrapped around his, holding him deep. They both moaned in pure ecstasy.
This was perfection. This was coming home. This was the thing he didn’t know he was missing until this moment, when they were fully joined.
Oh damn, but he was in trouble.
Beneath him, Sarah bucked her hips, urging him to move. He slowly withdrew, only to sink in again with exquisite slowness. He wanted to draw it out. Wanted to maximize the pleasure for them both.
“Beckett, please.”
“Taking my time here,” he gritted out, though he could already feel her beginning to tighten around him.
She was close. But he wanted to push her higher. To brand himself on her. To make her remember this moment. So he shifted the angle, driving deeper, swallowing her gasps of pleasure as he ruthlessly kept her right at the edge of madness, until his arms began to tremble from the strain and he felt the lightning gathering in his spine. Only then did he pick up the pace, stroking fast and deep.
Her orgasm struck like a storm, swamping them both. He managed to hang on through the strangled grip of her body, riding out her release before letting go and finding his own.