The Summer Dare (Summers in Seaside)

1. Lanie

It’s late when I arrive at Nana’s. I’m exhausted in more ways than I can count. It’s been a hell of a semester, I’ve been driving for hours, and most of all, it hurts like hell that she’s not here to greet me.

Summers in Seaside with Nana have always been special. It’s the one place I’ve truly called home. It’s where I learned to surf as a kid, drive as a teen, and experienced my first kiss. I’ve never lived here year-round, but I’ve spent enough time that I’d almost call myself a local.

As I pull into the rocky driveway, there’s an ache in my chest that hasn’t gone away since we lost her in January. As much as I love Seaside and want to be close to my memories of her, I’m not sure I’m ready to face them either.

I miss her terribly.

I’ve always loved Seaside, Oregon. It’s been my home away from home, my sanctuary.

I’m sure it’s had everything to do with Nana being our rock through the years.

Our parents divorced when my sisters and I were barely enrolled in school.

When Dad was deployed, Mom sent us out to the coast to spend time with Nana for a much-needed break.

I’d feel the same way if I had four girls in the span of four years.

Though how she managed to have Lizzy after the twins is beyond me.

I love my sisters, but I can’t imagine being in my mom’s shoes and starting a family at my age.

Now that I’m older, I’ve put the pieces together.

My poor mom got pregnant each and every time Dad came home on leave after they had me.

It’s no wonder their relationship didn’t work out.

First, they were so young when they got together.

He met her on a weekend trip to visit his buddy at the college where Mom attended and I came along nine months later.

They loved each other and thought they could make it work.

But unfortunately, as time went on, they realized they wanted different things.

She basically sent Dad a Dear John letter, and it’s something he’s never quite gotten over.

He hasn’t had many serious relationships over the years—that we know of.

So, we like to tease him about being married to the Air Force.

He’s been in for nearly twenty-two years and has no intentions of retiring until he hits thirty.

Even with my dad’s deployments, they’ve somehow managed to co-parent us the best they can.

With Dad stationed at Lewis–McChord these past few years, we’ve seen him often and have made up for lost time.

Thankfully he’s stateside for at least the next year.

To my surprise, Lizzy moved in with him her senior year, when Mom picked up a job as a traveling nurse.

She’ll graduate in a few weeks and join us for another summer in Seaside.

Turning off the engine, I stare at the empty house. Nana always had various lights on timers so the place didn’t appear vacant while she was gone, but it’s late and they’ve turned off for the night. All that remains is the porch light she used to leave on when she knew we were coming.

God, I miss her so much. I’d give anything for her to open that screen door and fly down the steps in one of her infamous mumus we teased her about. She’d wrap her arms around me tightly and I didn’t think I’d ever let go.

The twins won’t be here for at least another week.

I’d been eager to leave campus this afternoon and couldn’t wait to officially start my summer vacation.

Now, I’m second-guessing my need for spending time at Nana’s alone.

Before she passed, I often visited this quaint town, as it’s only a few hours away from Columbia River University.

It didn’t matter if she was here or away on one of her many adventures…

for as long as I could remember, she always had a room for each of us.

She insisted this was our home, too, so we treated it as such.

She even left it to the four of us in her will.

Though I haven’t stepped foot in the place since her funeral. I just haven’t been ready.

Dad paid someone to winterize and take care of anything perishable left here after the service, but I’m certain he hasn’t been here himself, either. Hell, I’m not sure it’s been touched by anyone other than the monthly cleaning crew that keeps things from getting out of hand .

Letting out a heavy sigh, I swallow the lump forming in my throat.

Staring up at the porch, I can picture Nana with her hand on her hip waiting on me to join her. I can almost hear her laugh in the wind as she’d say, “Well, what are you waiting for, Lanie? That car won’t empty itself.”

God, I’m being ridiculous.

Staying in this car won’t make things any easier.

With a fortifying breath, I push open the door.

Determined to get this over with, I quickly gather my purse, phone, and anything else I can carry from the front seat.

Before I can stall again, I rush up the three steps to the light blue door.

After punching in the code on the keypad, the locks disengage and I walk into Nana’s home.

Somehow, it still smells just as I remember, like vanilla and spice.

Someone must have one of her favorite air fresheners plugged in. She always stockpiled those when she found them on sale. I’m sure we’ll have them for years to come. Nana always was such a sucker for a deal.

Before I get too lost in thought, I turn off the house alarm and flip on the hallway light.

Knowing it always bothered her when we dropped our things at the door, I take my things to my room upstairs.

Flipping more lights on as I go, I make my way to my favorite room in the house.

Most of the bedrooms have a view of the ocean from a window or a deck off the side of the house.

However, this room, in particular, is my favorite because I not only get a great view but have a reading nook where I’ve spent countless hours getting lost in my favorite novels.

Dragging my fingers along the thick cushion, I stare out into the darkened sky.

The back of Nana’s house sits up against the well-lit pathway of the promenade, but I can’t see much beyond that tonight.

I’ve spent countless hours people-watching, daydreaming, and watching the waves in the distance from this very spot.

The shrill of my phone ringing makes me jump and my heart race out of my chest. I’d turned it up to be heard over the music I played in the car, but it’s a bit of an overkill in this silent house.

Seeing Sloane’s picture light up the screen, I’m all thumbs as I attempt to answer it and nearly drop it on the floor before finally swiping open the call.

My sister’s concerned voice comes through the line. “Hey, Lanie, have you made it? Raven and I have been worried.” Even though we talk daily, it’s not the same as seeing them in person. I can’t wait to see them. It’s been way too long.

As I return to my car, I quickly assure her, “You can stop. I’m fine. In fact, I just pulled in.”

“I still can’t believe you wouldn’t wait for one of us to go with you.

” She and Raven are finishing their sophomore year at Gonzaga and aren’t finished with their semester until the end of next week.

I know if they weren’t focused on finals, they both would have dropped everything so I wouldn’t be here alone this first time.

“I’ll be okay. Besides—you know I had to be out of my apartment by tomorrow, or I have to pay another month’s rent. It just wasn’t worth it.”

“Lanie…” she draws out and I can almost picture her punching her fist into her hip. I know how she worries about us—it’s just how she is. Though if she was traveling alone, I’d probably feel the same.

“Seriously, Sloane, I’m good.”

I love my sisters. There’s nothing any of them wouldn’t do for me. But I need to process the loss of Nana in my own way. I miss her like crazy, but the only way I’ll truly get through this is by taking this first step—and that means continuing the life Nana would want me to live.

Hearing a heavy sigh from Sloane, I can tell she wants to say more, but instead, she changes the subject. “Have you heard from Lizzy today?”

“No. Not today. What’s up?”

“I don’t know… I haven’t heard from her either. I thought she might have checked in with you.”

I love how close we are as sisters, but I’m sure as a senior in high school, it can be a bit stifling to essentially have four moms. “I’m sure she’s fine. If we don’t hear from her in a few days, then we can worry. But you remember that age—you hated checking in, too.”

Once outside, I’m reminded just how full my car is. Why the hell did I pack so much?

“Look, Sloane, I’m beat after moving today. I gotta unload my car.”

“Okay… I’ll call you after work tomorrow evening. If you hear from Liz, text me. ”

“Will do. Love you.”

I have plenty of time to contemplate why the hell I brought so much crap, as I spend nearly an hour unloading my car. I blame it on moving apartments next fall. As I packed, I’d been unwilling to put some of my prized possessions in storage—like my photo albums and evidently, all of my clothes.

Unfortunately, the weather in Seaside doesn’t always cooperate and prove it’s actually summer—so I brought many of my sweats, hoodies, jeans, and warmer clothes along with things I’d wear in the summer, too. Which means I’ve packed entirely too much.

When I finish unpacking, I pull my car into the garage, parking beside Nana’s classic convertible.

How she used to love riding with the top down the moment the sun came out.

Closing my eyes, I fondly remember our many rides along the coast with her scarf blowing in the breeze.

Even though it’s a happy memory, I quickly leave the garage to keep from dwelling on the thought.

After dumping the last of my things in my room, I head to the kitchen for reinforcements.

Nana always kept our favorite wine in the fridge and I’m certain there is still an unopened bottle in there when we last visited.