24. Ryan
The moment I get into town, I drive straight to Lanie’s. It’s a little after noon when I arrive. Stomping up the steps, I pound on the front door.
When no one answers, I rap three more times.
“I’m coming… I’m coming…” can be heard from the other side in a groggy voice.
Unfortunately, it’s Lizzy who answers the door. “What’s goin’ on, Ryan?” she mutters groggily. Obviously, I’ve woken her up. But at this point, my give-a-fuck is broken and I need to see Lanie.
“Is Lanie here?” I demand.
“I… I’m not sure,” Lizzy says, scratching her head on a yawn.
From behind her, I hear Raven. “She’s not in her room, but she came home late last night. ”
“Do you know where she is?” I pin her eyes, hoping she’ll grant me mercy.
“I’m pretty sure she went for a walk,” Sloane says, joining her sisters at the door.
Sloane and Raven cross their arms over their chests and I can tell if I act like a complete asshat, we’re going to be at a stalemate.
“Look, I have no idea what the fuck is even going on. One minute we were at my friend’s wedding, the next minute she disappears and ghosts me.
I asked her if she was okay—she said she was ‘fine’ when clearly, she’s not.
Then when I threatened to call her family or go to the police, she told me she was okay and going for some air. ”
When each of them remains in stony silence, I go for broke.
“She claims she was going for air . Air—can you fucking believe that? I haven’t been able to fucking breathe since she left. She took my fucking heart with her and I need to find her and make this right.”
“What did you do to make her need it?”
Throwing my hands in the air, I shout, “That’s just it! One minute we were enjoying the evening, the next she was just fucking gone—saying she needed air. I’ve been going out of my mind since she left.”
“What do you want us to do?” Sloane asks skeptically.
“Hell, I don’t know. I just need to know if she’s okay.”
For the longest moment, no one moves—and we just stare at one another .
Lanie steps around the corner from the hall and says, “It’s okay, girls. I’ll talk to him.”
Relief floods through me. For the first time since the wedding, I finally can breathe.
Her eyes are puffy and her face blotchy. She’s obviously been crying, but at least she’s willing to talk.
Her sisters are hesitant, but one by one, they walk away without a word.
My voice is hoarse when I rasp out, “Why?”
“I need to ask you the same thing,” she states solemnly.
As if I wasn’t already confused, I ask, “What are you talking about?”
“Why did you invite me to the wedding?”
Cocking my head to the side, hoping for a better view into that brain of hers, I’m frustrated I still need to clarify. “What. Do. You. Mean?”
“Why did you bring me as your date to that wedding, specifically?”
“Because you are my girlfriend.”
When it’s obvious this isn’t going to cut it for her, I continue, “Because I didn’t want to spend another weekend away from you.”
Nope, still not enough for her. Her expression is bleak and completely unreadable. But she asks again, “Why did you invite me to Vanessa’s wedding?”
Where is she going with this? The way she says Vanessa’s name makes me pause before continuing.
“What about Vanessa?”
“Is she the one you’ve been in love with since freshman year? The one that you watched fall in love with someone else? The one you’d do anything for?”
Oh, fuck. Now it all makes sense.
Sighing, I try to figure out where to begin. After what feels like an eternity of silence, I find my words. “Yes, but you’ve got it all wrong.
“When I met Vince and Vanessa freshman year, they had just lost their parents, and basically their entire life as they knew it. He was determined to get her through school because Jules, Vanessa’s daughter, needed the best life she could get.
“When I met Vanessa, I’ll admit I was attracted to her. We got along as friends and that’s all we ever were because she had too much to deal with to even think about dating so I was gladly friend zoned.
“Someday, well… you’ll have to hear their story from them because it’s not my place to tell.
But the long and the short of it is that it was easy for me to fixate on the unavailable because then I never had to put my heart out there.
I could be the friend, pine for the girl. But I was never the one for her.
“It took a while, but once I finally saw her look at him like he was the sun, moon, and stars all wrapped up in one, it was all it took for me to realize I wasn’t the one for her.
“It was a hard pill to swallow, but in that one instance, I knew without a doubt I wasn’t in love with her. What I felt for her was infatuation and desire for the unobtainable. I won’t lie to you. I do love her, but as a friend like I should have all along.
“If you take the time to learn her backstory, I’m sure you will, too.
She and Vince have been dealt a shitty hand in life, but they’re making the best of it.
I said I will do anything for the two of them because I am literally one of the few people who’ve become their built-in family.
For years they only had each other and Jules, and I will do what I can to make their lives better. Period.”
“So you’re not in love with her?” comes out as a whisper.
Needing her to hear this, I firmly state, “No. I’m not.”
“How do you know you’re not in love with her?”
Thank fuck. Finally, an easy question.
Grinning I take a step toward Lanie. “Because I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you, Melanie Lancaster.”
Taking another step forward, “I want to spend time with you, and because even in this short amount of time we’ve been together, I feel like I need you almost as much as I need my next breath.”
Finally, we’re standing toe-to-toe and it takes everything in me to keep what little distance there is between us.
“That’s good,” she sighs.
When she places her hand on my cheek and smiles, I have to ask, “Why is that good?”
“Because I love you, Ryan.”
Grinning wide, I swoop her into my arms and murmur, “Those quite possibly might be the five best words I’ve ever heard,” before crashing my lips onto hers.