Chapter 13
Midnight found Owen in bed, staring at the ceiling. He needed to be sleeping, he was beyond exhausted, but... he couldn’t. Not when all he could think about was the look on Anna’s face that evening just before she walked away from him.
Guys like you aren’t into girls like me...
He wasn’t even sure what she’d meant by that, but his heart ached that she’d even think such a thing about herself. “Nope,” he said, and got out of bed.
Turbo lifted his big head, blinking sleepily at him. Turbo did not have trouble falling asleep because of stress. His dog didn’t know the meaning of stress. “Go back to sleep.”
When he pulled on jeans, Turbo sighed and stretched, hopping off the bed, tail wagging. Whatever the adventure was, he was in.
“No,” Owen said, searching for his shoes. He found one under the bed—complete with Turbo-size teeth marks. He shot a dirty look at his dog, and Turbo’s tail wagged even harder—doggy denial.
Owen found his other shoe near the door. He shoved his foot in and met a web glob of Turbo saliva. Awesome. “You’re still not coming.”
Turbo trotted to the door.
“Like, at all.”
Turbo nudged his nose to the door handle as if he could open it by his sheer level of enthusiasm.
“I’m serious.”
Five minutes later, Owen was wrapping a seat belt around his ridiculous dog. “You’re going to behave. No crotch sniffing. No eating anything. I mean it. Not like the time I brought you to Ruby’s and you stuffed your nose in everyone’s crotch and ate a couch.”
Turbo did his best to look repentant. A complete lie.
Owen drove them through the dark, still night, thoughts forming that he hadn’t let settle before now. Anna being so sure of her dad’s innocence. His being so certain Ruby had been a victim...
But there was a truth he hadn’t allowed to surface until now. What if Ruby had lost or misplaced the necklace and coins herself?
When he parked on Anna’s street, he studied her two-story condo. It was dark, but everything inside him told him that she wasn’t sleeping either. And then he realized the roof was lit up with fairy lights.
She was up there.
“Do you think she’s okay?” he asked Turbo.
Turbo didn’t know.
He eyed the fire escape, which he couldn’t possibly reach unless he climbed the fence, but he didn’t want to scare her to death. Plus, Turbo would have to stay in the car. He glanced at his dog. Probably best that he do that anyway. He pulled out his cell phone and stared at it. How to text her without looking like he was there for a booty call? Then his phone buzzed in his hand.
Anna:I believe it’s customary when you show up at someone’s place for a booty call that you send a “you up?” text.
Owen:Not a booty call. Can I see you? Just to talk?
Anna:See, yep. Talk, hard pass.
Turbo yawned.
Owen looked at Turbo. “She’s not okay. I’m going up. You’re going to wait here with patience and self-control.”
Turbo lay down and closed his eyes.
Owen got out and studied the fence. It would probably hold his weight. He scaled it quickly, then reached up for the fire escape. Once he pulled it down, the rest of the climb was a cinch.
He dropped onto the roof and straightened. It was small but clean, and completely private thanks to the outdoor privacy screen wrapping around all four sides, serving as a protection from neighboring condos. There was a green velour couch, an overturned pallet box for a makeshift coffee table, and a small portable fridge as an end table. Fairy lights were strung from corner to corner and also crisscrossed overhead.
And on the green velour couch, legs stretched out on the pallet box, sat the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about.
She had a big bag of Doritos on her lap, a six-pack of beer minus one next to her bare, crossed feet. He couldn’t see her face, but he didn’t have to in order to know something was wrong. Really wrong. There was a stillness to her that he wasn’t used to, all her usual vibrant, feisty energy at rest, a sadness settling around her as dark as the night.
He came around to the front of the couch. She wore a simple blue sundress, and her hair was piled on top of her head, which was tipped back as she stared up at the stars. “You’ve seen me, so feel free to go now.”
He moved closer. Not wanting to crowd her, he didn’t take a seat next to her. Instead, he crouched at her side and studied her face.
Definitely sad.
Definitely had been crying.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly.
“Did you miss my no-talking decree?”
He looked her over. She wasn’t hurt, at least not on the outside. One of the spaghetti straps of her sundress had slipped off a shoulder. With her feet on the box, the hem had slipped up her thighs, making her legs look a mile long. At any other moment, he’d be fantasizing about her wrapping them around him. “Anna.”
“Fine.” She shrugged. “It’s been a shitty day that ended with an annoying visit from Will when I was in the tub.”
He tensed. He hadn’t liked the guy from the moment he’d laid eyes on him, and it had nothing to do with his feelings for the woman before him. “Annoying how?”
Something in his voice must’ve alerted her because she turned her head and met his gaze. “You know I can handle myself, right?”
“I do know. I think you’re the most capable woman I’ve ever met.”
That seemed to mollify her. “He wanted to see the coin,” she said. “I lied, told him I didn’t have it, that I’d given it to the authorities.”
“Good thinking.”
“He didn’t believe me.”
He felt his inner caveman stir. “So he... what? Left quietly?”
“He’d been drinking.” She lifted a shoulder. “It took a little encouragement.”
Anger churned in his gut as he ran his gaze over her, looking for any obvious signs of injury. “What kind of encouragement?”
“You want to know if you need to beat the shit out of him.”
“Yes.”
She shook her head. “I used words, not fists, and he left.”
He wanted to press for more information, but he also wanted her to know he trusted her to handle herself. “And the rest of your shitty day?” he asked with what he thought was a cool calm.
For a long moment, she didn’t speak, and he thought that was it. She didn’t intend to tell him anything else, which was killing him because what else had happened?
“I had a fight with my sister.” She paused. “Well, actually, she doesn’t know we’re in a fight this time.” Her eyes filled but didn’t spill, and he realized there was nothing as humbling as being witness to the strongest woman he’d ever met allowing him to see her vulnerable.
“It was my stupid phone,” she said softly. “She didn’t know I still had my earbuds in or that I’d hit hold instead of disconnecting our call.” She closed her eyes. “She was telling Hayden how in the beginning, she’d tried to send me on a wild goose chase about the coin so I’d”—she used air quotes—“‘have an excuse to have some fun.’” She shook her head. “Because with Wendy moving on with her life and having babies and all, she won’t have the same amount of time to take care of me.”
He didn’t say anything, and she turned her head and looked at him, her brilliant eyes swimming with hurt and betrayal.
He rose and gestured to the spot next to her. “May I?”
She nodded, and he sat at her side. “I’m sorry, Anna.”
She leaned into him and very slowly set her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close, and she sighed softly.
“I shouldn’t care what she thinks. I should be pissed off she’s always trying to manipulate me. Also, why do you always smell good?” She turned her face into his chest and inhaled deeply. “And why, when you touch me, does everything else sort of fade away?”
Very gently, he stroked a loose auburn wave from her temple, tucking it behind her ear. “Right back at you.”
She closed her eyes, but he didn’t have to be able to see them to know she was miserable. “If it helps, I think you’re the most capable, strong, resilient, fascinating, and smartest woman I’ve ever met.”
Her lips curved slightly. “Yes, but that’s only because you want to sleep with me.”
“Well, yeah. I mean, have you seen yourself?” he teased with a smile, which he let fade as he held her gaze. He also held his tongue because she seemed incline to talk even though she’d said she didn’t want to, and he wanted to give her the space to do that without his getting in her way.
She’d cracked a small smile at his quip but looked away. “She told Hayden she didn’t want me to spiral again.”
He winced for her inwardly. Because spiral... again?
“Do you want to know the worst part?”
He reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze. “Yes.”
“I can’t even be mad. Because I have spiraled in the past. Twice. Once when I was sixteen, when I found out my mom died in childbirth with me. Up until then, I’d thought she died in a car accident. That’s what my dad had told me, but I had to write an essay in my English class about our biggest trauma, and I googled my mom’s name to get some more information on her.”
“Oh, Anna,” he breathed, hurting for her.
“I get why he lied. He didn’t want me to blame myself for her death. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happened.” When he opened his mouth, she said, “It’s okay. I got to a better place.”
“And the again part?” he asked quietly.
She looked away. “For a hot minute, when Michael went to jail, I came under some suspicion for claiming not to know anything and being unable to help in the investigation against him.”
He hated that the men in her life had screwed with her so badly. Cupping one side of her jaw in his hand, he gently turned her face back to him. “I hope you were able to convince the authorities you were innocent.”
“How do you know I was innocent?”
“I just know.”
That won him a small smile. “I have the feeling that also circles back to the whole you-want-to-sleep-with-me thing.”
He laughed softly. “Don’t think I don’t know you’re trying to change the subject.”
“Fine. I honestly knew nothing and managed to convince the police of that. But the doubts, the whispers, the rumors...” She shook her head. “I don’t know, I let it get inside me and eat me up. I... fell apart. Not as badly as I did when I found out about my mom and the fact that even Wendy had kept that secret from me, but I climbed into bed and didn’t want to leave. I got some counseling and meds. If it wasn’t for Wendy, along with good friends like Mari and Nikki, I’d probably still be in bed. They showed up every day, refusing to let me wallow alone.”
He entangled their fingers and brought their joined hands to his heart, which ached for her. “I’m sorry you went through that,” he said, instead of what he wanted to say, which was that he’d like to hunt down her ex and give him a piece of his mind and possibly a fist to the face.
“And then there’s my secret freakout... I’m afraid Wendy’s going to...” She swallowed hard. “Die in childbirth.”
Pulling her in, he hugged her tight, rocking them both a little for comfort, having no idea what to say. It’s going to be all right? No one knew that. Don’t worry? He’d never patronize her that way.
“The thing is,” she said, keeping her face buried against his chest, “about Wendy being worried: I get it. I do. Except...” She shook her head. “I don’t know if it’s because I’ve grown up, or if I’ve slowly come into my own, but I’ve never felt stronger. Inside and out. And Wendy knows that, or she should, I’m with her all the damn time. So she has no business doubting me.”
“Maybe she’s scared too.”
She lifted her face. “Of what?”
“Of her own life getting so crazy that she might lose a bit of you.”
“It won’t be her own life to cause that, but the fact that she can’t stop trying to direct mine.”
He had to really work on that holding-his-tongue thing, because he didn’t want to stem the flow. Learning more about her, the real her, fascinated him. She was captivating. Complicated. Beautiful.
She gave him a long look and the “gimme” gesture. “Let’s hear it.”
“Hear what?”
“You’ve got a contrasting opinion about something I just said.”
“This is your life, Anna. I’ll never be the person in it who tries to direct it for you.”
“Tell me anyway.”
“She’s your only blood family. If you have a problem with what she’s doing, you should tell her rather than letting your resentment build inside you until it ruptures your relationship.” He paused. “I don’t have any siblings, but I had my mom, and we pretty much raised each other. She’s gone now, but I’d give anything, anything, to have her back, even if it was just to argue with her one more time.”
“You think I should tell Wendy that I heard what she said about me?”
“I think you should do what feels right for you.”
She stared at him, then shook her head. “I can’t confront her. She has too much stress and worry as it is, I won’t add to it.”
He hated that she was scared for Wendy and had kept that fact as her own burden this whole time. He was attracted to so many things about her, but this might be his very favorite thing: how much she cared.
“I mean, am I angry she tried to manipulate me into an adventure with this coin thing, which turned out to be something very real?” she asked. “Yes. I’m furious. But the truth is, she’s been the self-proclaimed boss of me since birth. It doesn’t make it okay, but I should’ve said something a long time ago.”
“Anna.” He slid a callus-roughened palm up her back to the nape of her neck, his fingers threading into her hair. She shivered, which made him want to do it again, but first, because he wasn’t as good as she at burying feelings: “Promise me something.”
Her expression turned a little wary. “No promises.”
Right. “Just this one: Don’t bury this deep. It’ll only eat at you.”
She put a hand to his chest. “You care about me.”
“Far more than I meant to. And while we’re here talking about feelings, I’d like to know what you meant when you said guys like me aren’t into girls like you.”
She drew a deep breath. “I’ve told you my relationship history. I’ve given my heart away, and I wasn’t exciting enough to keep.”
He cupped her face. “That’s their loss, because you’re the most exciting, fascinating woman I’ve ever met.”
Anna felt her gaze drop from his eyes to his mouth, which she really wanted on hers again. She wanted that far more than she wanted to hear herself talk. Frankly, she was quite tired of herself and really tired of being on an emotional roller coaster. When she was with Owen, all her emotions settled. Calmed. She’d never experienced anything like it. She’d never been addicted to anything, ever—well, maybe ice cream—but she could feel herself willing to fall into an addiction to one Owen Harris. She opened her mouth to say his name at the exact moment he whispered hers.
Their gazes locked and held, his revealing a rare hesitation that maybe she should heed. She’d worked long and hard to rein herself in. Nothing good had ever come of her letting loose, giving up control. Those days of following her every impulse were long gone.
Long.
Gone.
Nope. No way would she give in to them, no matter how sexy Owen was. And good Lord, he was as sexy as they came. But he was also a man who lived a dangerous lifestyle, plus she doubted he’d ever corral his adventurous side. And why would he? He’d made it work for him.
But it didn’t work for Anna.
And yet somehow this made him even more desirable. Fisting her hands in his shirt, she tried to pull him into her.
Only he held firm, his lips hovering over hers until she couldn’t stand it any longer. “Dammit,” she whispered against them. “I like you so much more than I should.” Sliding her hands into his hair, she closed the millimeter of space between them and kissed him. By the time he lifted his head, she was shaking and breathing heavily.
“I like you so much more than I should too,” he said quietly. “But I won’t take advantage of you when you’re feeling vulnerable. I need to go before something happens tonight that you’ll regret.”
“What makes you think I’ll regret it?” She was both overheating at the thought of the “it” in question and somehow wanting, needing, to lighten the mood. “Are you... bad at it?”
She expected a smile. Instead, his eyes heated. “Under any other circumstances, I’d say try me. But this isn’t the right time. You’ve had a difficult day, you’re going through a lot. You need—”
“You’re not really going to try to tell me what I need, are you?”
A wry smile came and went in his eyes. “No.”
She smiled back while pressing herself fully against him, getting a thrill from the hitch in his breathing. He cupped her face in his hands, eyes on hers as the rough pads of his fingers slid along her jawline. “I want you, Anna. So much, but—”
“No buts,” she breathed, kissing one corner of his mouth, then the other, fisting her hand in his shirt to keep him from moving away. “Stay tonight,” she said. “Please—”
Thankfully he shut her up by crushing his mouth to hers—she hadn’t wanted to talk anymore. She didn’t want to feel hurt and betrayed anymore. All she wanted was this. Pulling back, she got up on her knees, turning to face Owen.
“You have a plan,” he said.
She did. But at the moment, she was into show-not-tell, so she climbed into his lap. She hadn’t expected to tell him about what had happened with Wendy, any more than she’d expected him to show up when, as it turned out, she’d needed someone more than she’d known.
Him. She’d needed him.
She’d asked him to not talk, and he hadn’t. He’d just listened, making her want to give him some of what he’d given her.
So she did.
She’d barely leaned over him when his hands went to her hips, guiding her so that she was straddling him, the insides of her thighs snugged to the outside of his.
“Tell me more about this plan,” he murmured huskily, his fingers tracing their way up and down her back, palming her ass.
With a smile, she slid her hands beneath his shirt to get at his warm skin. “Finally. I thought you were going to play hard to get forever.”
He laughed.
“My plan,” she said, grinning back at him, “involves driving us both out of our minds so that we can’t think. I’m tired of thinking.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but just in case, she kissed him. Kissed him until whatever words he’d intended to let loose turned into a rough, thrillingly masculine groan. When she broke it off to breathe and try to tug off his shirt, his lips curved into a sinful smile.
“Don’t tease me,” she said. She needed his clothes off. Needed him inside her.
Yesterday.
“Here, Anna?”
Yes. A thousand times yes, please. Right here, right now.
He captured her busy hands in his, making her whimper in frustration as his mouth then bypassed hers to skim along her jaw to her ear. He whispered her name in a way that had her eyes fluttering closed, because just the dark velvet sound of his voice reverberated through her like sinful seduction. Trying to facilitate things along, she tugged her hands free and worked to get his shirt off him.
“There are a lot of things I’d do for you,” he said. “But rushing this isn’t one of them.” He held her close, 175 pounds of lean muscle and highly motivated and determined male testosterone surrounding her. With a wicked smile that sent a shiver of the very best kind through her, he kissed down her throat, eliciting a sound of pleasure from her.
“Love that sound,” he murmured.
She had her hands inside his clothes, trying to get him naked. “Owen.”
“Right here.” His fingers nudged down the other strap of her sundress and with a little encouragement, the material slipped to her waist and she was bared to him and the night. “Mmm, and the way you taste...” Lowering his head, he kissed everything he’d uncovered. “And I especially love the way you look like this.”
“At your mercy, you mean.”
“You’ve got that entirely backward.” He pulled off his shirt, which left her momentarily stunned as she stared at him in appreciation. She’d seen him shirtless before, at the beach, but that didn’t lessen the impact any. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed herself as close as possible to the hard planes of his body, but she needed still more, so she reached between them to open his jeans.
Suddenly he stilled, eyes apologetic. “Anna, I don’t have anything on me.”
It took her sex-addled brain a moment to understand what he’d said. “Oh. I, um... I’m on the pill. And as for... other concerns, I haven’t done this in a while. Like, a really long while.”
He cupped her face, his own serious. “Same.”
“Yeah, right.” She poked him. “You forget, I’ve met two of your conquests already.”
He smiled. “This might be hard to believe, but it’s been a long time for me too.”
“How long?”
“Six months, maybe more.”
He was a man of few words, but he knew how to make those few words count. She took a deep breath and concentrated on the way his fingertips were tracing up and down her spine, leaving a fire in their wake that she felt all the way to her toes. She opened her eyes and looked into his, her heart clenching as she saw something that she hadn’t expected to find.
Emotion.
It was raw and unspoken, but as apparent as the beat of her heart. When he brushed his lips across hers, she laced her fingers in his hair, holding him close. “Can we get to the ‘here, now’ portion of the evening?”
With a low, sexy laugh, he urged her dress up her thighs, giving a heartfelt groan at the sight of her little black undies. She gasped as his fingers teased her over the silky material until she was panting. They wriggled to get into a good position, bumping into each other, laughing and swearing as they tried to line things up. Finally, he let her sink over him until he was in as deep as he could go. When she rolled her hips to his, his head fell back, eyes closed, a look of raw pleasure on his face.
“Slow,” his voice rumbled.
She tried. She really did. But she couldn’t hold back, and apparently he couldn’t either. They took each other, hard and fast, until they both lost their minds.
After, when he opened his eyes and looked deep into hers, he gave her a crooked smile. “For the record, I’m at your mercy, Anna. Always.”
Same... Even more shocking, she’d let her true nature out. What they’d just done had been spontaneous and more than a little wild, and she’d instigated it. Hi. Hello. It was her. She was the bad influence. She’d been the one unable to keep her hands to herself.
And yet, as promised, she had zero regrets.
They were still cuddled up on the couch in the afterglow when a loud horn sounded from the street and made her jump.
The horn went off again, another short blast, and then another.
“Oh shit,” Owen muttered.
“What?”
“Turbo hits the horn when he feels he’s waited too long. He used to just eat a seat, but he got tired of being in trouble. The horn is his new favorite thing.”
While Anna laughed, Owen threw his clothes back on. The view was pretty awesome, and when she heard a soft chuckle, she tore her eyes off his bod and met his amused gaze.
“What?” she said. “I like to look.”
He grinned. “Good to know—”
Another horn beep, longer this time.
Owen swore again and shoved his feet into his beat-up running shoes before heading to the edge of the roof where the fire escape began. “Oh, and, Anna? I like to look at you too.”
And then he was gone.