12. Matt
twelve
Matt
J une 3
“So then Casey just left?” my best friend, Sylvie, asked, taking a long swing of her chilled beer. I sighed and glanced over at Wade, the third member of our childhood trio. His expression was solemn, and he was staring down at his beer bottle, picking at the wrapper.
Wade had been in Eagle Ridge for over a month now, and nothing had knocked him out of his funk, not Sylvie, not visiting our old haunts, and not my story about the abrupt ending to my hook-up with Casey. Sylvie, though, was hooked on the story.
“Fled the scene,” I said, my voice echoing in the spacious living room.
Sylvie let out a mischievous laugh. “Did you not make it good for him?”
I rolled my eyes. "Ah, come on, Sylv. We dated. You know I take care of my lovers." But now that she mentioned it, I wasn't entirely sure how much he had enjoyed it. Sure, he had come, but did he actually like it? Maybe I’d done something guys don’t like.
"Whatever, I was a closeted lesbian the entire time I was fucking you," Sylvie continued with a sly grin. "I'm not sure if I understood things. But look at you, Matty, you kissed a boy and you liked it."
“But did he?”
Wade snorted. "Men are simple creatures, if he came, he was happy."
"I've never been with a guy before. How do I know if I did something wrong?" I barely heard Sylvie, because I was completely sidetracked by that train of thought, which was more worrying than I would have expected. My chest felt tight and I absently rubbed a hand over it, wondering what Casey was up to at that very moment. He should have been sassing me over texts or trying to boss me around, but he’d gone radio silent.
“I’m sure he enjoyed himself,” Sylvie said gently.
"So much that he sprinted out of there before I could even…" I trailed off, not entirely sure what I wanted to do next.
"Cuddle him?" Wade finished with a chuckle.
"Fuck off. I wasn't trying to cuddle him. It was hot sex, that’s all," I huffed, even though he was completely right. Maybe a shower, too, where I’d carefully clean every inch of his body, paying special attention to that cute, curvy little ass.
"Oh, come on, Matt. You? Casual sex? You wouldn't be you if you didn't try for a cuddle," Sylvie teased.
I crossed my arms over my chest and stuck my tongue out at her. Wade laughed and shook his head before taking another swig of his beer. I didn’t mind their good-natured teasing, not really. Wade was smiling and laughing, and that made me feel good. Hell, it was the most I had seen him smile since he arrived in town two months ago, and it made me feel a sense of relief.
“Do you want to date him?” my stepbrother called from across the room, where he and Sutton were cooking dinner together. The two of them were so in sync that they seemed to dance around the kitchen, grabbing ingredients, mixing, and chopping, moving as though they shared a mind.
Did I want to date him? A few months ago, I might have said I enjoyed being single, but now I wasn't so sure. There was something warm and homey about the way Ben and Sutton were together that sparked an odd kind of yearning deep inside me. But the only answer I had for Ben was, "I don't know."
"Date? They’d make the most irritating couple; all they do is bicker," Sutton said as he dumped salad ingredients into a big bowl. “Actually, they're kind of like an old married couple, now that I mention it."
"Are you guys eating, or just gossiping about Matt’s love life on our couch?” Ben asked.
“I could eat,” Wade said, taking another swing of his beer.
"I guess dating is moot, anyway. He must not have liked it. I mean, he was out of there before I even asked if everything was okay."
Sylvie leaned in, asking, "Did you make him come, or did he jerk himself off?"
I bit my bottom lip. “He seemed to be enjoying what I was doing. And then he..."
"Oh my god, could we talk about something else? Anything else. Please!" Ben groaned as he dumped a box of pasta into the big pot on the stove. "Why are you three hanging out at our house anyway?"
"Matt's tiny house is too small for Wade's liking," Sylvie explained casually. "And my dog keeps biting Wade. And Wade's cabin smells like dirty socks. It's starting to seem like Wade is the problem here."
"Love you too, Sylvie," Wade deadpanned, elbowing her playfully.
"Ben, come on. You love us here. Adds some excitement to your lives." I grinned at my stepbrother. "And we're being nice to Wade because his wife fucked his business partner—"
"Ex-wife," Wade corrected.
"—And then his business partner fucked him over. And not in a fun, sexy way, like how Matt fucked Casey," Sylvie added.
"It was more of grinding on each other, does that count as fucking?" I asked.
"Right, well, you can stay, but I'm banning any more talk involving Matt and sex," Ben declared firmly. “I do not want to picture whatever he and that bratty little menace are doing.”
“He’s not a menace! He just has strong opinions. And he’s passionate. Not in a sex way.” I quickly added. “Well, maybe a bit in a sex way, too.”
“Matt,” Ben warned. “I have fettuccini with broccoli and Alfredo sauce, and I even put the meat on the side for you. Don’t cross me, or I dump the meat in.”
“And fresh bread from the bakery!” Sutton cheered, waving the loaf.
"What about Matt and being in loooove?" Sylvie teased. “Is that an acceptable topic?”
"I am not in love," I snapped back, because that would be ridiculous.
"Infatuated, then," Sutton said. "Crushing hard. What else would explain hiring him for that internship? He was the least qualified candidate. And he yelled at you.”
“He has good ideas!”
Sutton rubbed his chin. “Okay, he has some good ideas. I can agree with that. But getting him to drive all the way from Portland two weekends a month? And the way you made me call him to make sure he'd take the job?"
"And the way you do everything he suggests, even if it's stupid," Ben chipped in with a knowing smirk.
"Nothing he has suggested has been stupid!" I defended myself, feeling a sudden urge to defend Casey. “If it was stupid, I wouldn't do it! He may not communicate things in the best way, but he’s usually right.”
"And the way you defend him," Sylvie pointed out with a knowing smile.
"Okay, Ben is right. This is a super awkward topic," I muttered, feeling embarrassed. "Wade, how's the lawsuit coming along?"
But Wade just glared at me and took another drink of his beer, before turning to Sylvie. “Sylvie, tell us about your rock gym? How are things coming along with the renovation?”
As Sylvie launched into an enthusiastic update about the new wall they were installing at her rock climbing gym, I barely heard any of it. My mind kept wandering back to Casey. Ever since he had stormed into our lives a few months ago, things had been a bit chaotic. He was loud, opinionated, and always seemed to be pushing my buttons. But for some reason, I couldn't seem to shake him off.
I lifted my beer bottle to my lips, and, finding it empty, stood and stretched. “Anyone need another?”
Sylvie shook her head, but Wade handed me his empty bottle. I passed behind Ben and Sutton, who were debating the right amount of garlic to put in their pasta sauce, and opened Ben’s fridge, pulling out another two of the beers Wade had brought. When I turned towards the drawer to grab the bottle opener, Sutton caught my eye, smiling.
“I do like Casey,” he said quietly. “He’s feisty, but in a fun way. And he's really cute.”
“Maybe he’ll make you a bit less boring,” Ben added with a wink. I gave him a playful punch in the shoulder, laughing, and Sutton waved at the bowls they were prepping. Their new puppy, Junji, danced around their feet, hoping for scraps, and I leaned down and scratched his ears.
“Anyway," Sutton said. "Stop mooning over Casey, give Wade his beer, and set the table. And maybe after that, you should send him a text and let him know you miss him.”
“I don’t miss him, I just…”
“Feel desperate to hang out with him again?” Sutton asked, dimples flashing as he graced us with one of his cocky grins. “Maybe you should invite him for a real date. Wine and dine him in your tiny home, or take him into the new Peruvian restaurant in town. I hear it’s great. If only I had someone who'd take me there.”
“Subtle,” Ben said, elbowing Sutton. Then, to me, “Sutton thinks we don’t do enough romantic dates, either, so you’re not the only one in this family who needs to do a little wooing.”
I smiled. “Maybe we can trade tips.”
Sutton and Ben looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Trade? What tips do you have to give?”
“Hey, I’m smooth! I know how to woo.” I walked across the room to hand Wade his beer, grinning at both of my friends. “Right, Sylvie?”
“Yep, your wooing worked great on me.”
“Says the lesbian,” Wade said, and everyone cracked up again.
I handed them their beers, then set the table, my stomach churning as I ran over and over the afternoon in my head, trying to understand why Casey had run. Was he still mad at me for not kissing him back when we'd kissed in the art shed?
Shit, I’d forgotten to apologize for that. I’d truly meant to, but then he’d answered the door dressed in my flannel, and I’d lost my goddamn mind. Something feral and possessive had overtaken me, something that made me want to claim and mark every inch of his body, making certain that no one could have him but me.
I'd kissed him back in the kayak shed, though. Except, he probably wasn’t even into me like that.
"You've been standing there for five minutes, zoning out. If you're not crushing on that boy, you might want to go see a doctor," Ben said, setting a big bowl of pasta on the table. He reached over and pried the forks out of my hand, handing them to my friends, muttering something about how I was so besotted that I couldn't even set the damn table.
And fine, maybe I had a tiny little crush.