Chapter 15
Fifteen
I worried something was really wrong. My heart hammered as I swerved through the carousel chaos and darted across the arcade-filled lobby. “Hello!” I burst out the front door on the final ring. “Tara?”
“Tara?” a familiar voice replied—a warm voice, a kind voice, my favorite voice. “Whyever do you think I’m Tara?”
I felt myself melt into a smile. “Hi, Annie.”
“Dearest,” she said. “How are you?”
“How are you?” I asked, hoping to gauge where her head was. She sounded like herself, but I still wanted to manage my expectations.
“I’m wonderful,” she answered. “The weather’s beautiful today, so Fliss Williams and I took a long walk on the trails…”
Okay, not bad, I thought. Not true—Annie wasn’t allowed to freely wander Elkins Village anymore, or even walk with only a friend—but not bad. Fliss occasionally visited my grandmother in Finlay for a cup or two of tea.
“And then we had tea in my room.”
I released a relieved breath. There we go.
“She just loves the photo books Erica makes for me,” she said. “Today I showed her A Night to Remember.”
A Night to Remember was a collection of my high school dance shots. Pictures of me before homecoming, the winter SnowBall, junior prom, senior prom, etc. Erica and I had fun, actually, picking out the photos together.
“Well, you can expect another one soon,” I told her, speed-walking along the sidewalk. There had to be a bench somewhere. “I’ve been taking a lot of pictures…”
And so had Erica. “Don’t worry,” I’d overheard my stepmother tell her sister the other day, when Beth had given her a look for snapping shots of the cousins playing an intense game of croquet and another of the delicious summer lasagna Peggy had made for dinner.
Influencer-ing, are we? Beth’s expression read.
“They’re for Annette, not social media.”
“Yeah, relax, Beth,” Jay had chimed in. “It’s not like people are going to stalk us for Mom’s lasagna recipe!”
Not stalk, I thought, feathers a little ruffled on her behalf. But if Erica shares a photo, followers will ask.
I wondered if her siblings had even seen her Instagram.
“I can’t wait,” Annie said now, as I settled on a bench near the Steamship Authority. With today’s cloudy sky, the ocean looked more green than blue. “How are the Outer Banks?”
Just go with it, I told myself, biting the tip of my fingernail. Just go with the flow. Surf the Outer Banks wavelength.
But for some reason, I couldn’t.
“We’re on Martha’s Vineyard, Annie,” I gently said. “Not the Outer Banks.”
The line was quiet.
I counted my heartbeats. One…two…three…
“Yes, forgive me,” my grandmother said slowly, a line she hadn’t used in ages. “I remember you mentioning that.”
Do you? I wondered, because my meltdown in her room seemed like a little more than a mention. I suspected Annie had no recollection of that visit, and she was aware of that, but didn’t want to hurt my feelings by admitting it.
It didn’t matter.
“We went to the Flying Horses today,” I told her brightly. “Maisie grabbed the brass ring on her first ride.”
“Oh my!” My grandmother laughed, delighted. “Of course she did. Our Maisie never backs down from a challenge.”
“No, she does not…” I hesitated. She knew what I was talking about; she remembered the Flying Horses and its brass ring. What should I ask her next? I needed to make the most of this.
“What’s on your mind, Olivia?” Annie picked up after a moment. “I can hear those cogs turning.”
Warmth filled my chest. I can hear those cogs turning. Annie said that to me a lot growing up, whenever I was clearly wrestling with something but couldn’t bring myself to talk about it.
Did something happen here, Annie? I asked. Why didn’t you ever really tell us about Martha’s Vineyard?
The opportunity was right there, but something got the better of my curiosity. “I might’ve met someone,” I said, the words sounding too serious but also the most accurate. “Connor.”
“Mmm,” Annie distantly hummed.
I grimaced. By saying so little, she made me feel heartless. I historically never talked about the guys I hung out with, beyond sharing their first names and a fast fact. Rob plays the drums… CJ lives three streets over… Luca works as a busboy… Trevor loves Ultimate Frisbee…
Their best quality always went unsaid: They only want to have fun.
“What is this boy’s name?” Annie asked, as if I hadn’t just told her.
“Connor.” A flurry of butterflies swirled in my stomach, to the point of near-nausea. I felt like I was about to jump off the Jaws Bridge for the first time. “Nothing’s going to happen, though,” I quickly added. “I just…” My voice wavered. “I just like him.”
“Does he like you?” Annie prompted.
I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Yes.” I nodded, even though she couldn’t see. “He has been very…” I searched for the word. “Up front about that.”
“Ah,” Annie said lightly. “Then why is nothing going to happen?”
A lump formed in my throat.
“You return each other’s feelings,” she stated. “I don’t see the problem.”
“Because there isn’t one.” I said, swallowing hard. “It’s more pointless. We’re only here for two more weeks, which is no time at all, and he’s working here for the summer—”
My grandmother cut me off. “Where is Connor from? New England?”
“Pennsylvania.”
“That sounds vaguely familiar.”
I blushed. “But it’s not like we’re going to the same college.”
“Oh, who cares?” Annie asked, in a tone that straightened my spine. Not unkind, but one that would pair perfectly with an eye roll. Her loss of a filter was another symptom of dementia. “What does it matter?”
I opened my mouth before gathering words.
“You don’t have to marry him, dearest,” Annie told me. “A couple weeks of fun never hurt anyone, and the Vineyard…” She sighed. “It’s a fantastic place for fun.”
“How do you know?” I blurted, for fear that she would forget in the next three seconds.
“Because I had plenty of fun there,” she replied. “Before I met your grandfather, I was in your shoes. I met someone.”
My pulse was pounding. Annie had never spoken of any romance other than the one she’d had with Pops. Some high school admirers, of course, but those didn’t really count. “Annie, who was—” I started at the same time someone on Annie’s end said, “Annette, lunch is being served.”
“No, thank you,” I heard her tell Kai. “I’m speaking with my granddaughter.”
About groundbreaking matters! I thought, but kept quiet when Kai suggested Annie call me back later.
“Kai, that would be rude,” my grandmother said, as a knot twisted in my heart. I knew I had to hang up; Annie had lost her fondness for eating in the dining room, but everyone agreed it was important for her to keep up socializing.
I refused to be her excuse.
“Go have fun at lunch, Annie!” I chirped, but while closing my eyes. I’d been so close, yet so far. “I should go, anyway. I promised I’d take Maisie and Bryce to the candy store.”
“Well, alright,” she replied. “But don’t think about what I said, Olivia. Just do. Otherwise, you’ll only keep talking yourself out of it.” She took a breath. “Because, dearest, I can hear how much you want this in your voice.”
* * *
Every muscle tensed when I rejoined my siblings and Connor at the carousel.
(Maisie had snagged the brass ring twice more; Bryce had gotten in trouble for climbing up on his horse in order to reach the ring dispenser.) My hot dog from Nancy’s was now cold, but I ate it anyway, needing to fixate on something other than Connor’s glinting blue eyes.
It was so delicious that I wondered how it had tasted when hot.
“Smile!” the twins chorused from the sidelines while Connor snapped a shot of my second and final spin around the carousel. Like Annie, I’d chosen a white horse. All I was missing was her fabulous straw hat and a mystery man.
I met someone, she’d said.
Who? I wondered on our way back to Edgartown. The Candy Bazaar was on the water near the yacht club. Maisie and Bryce raced into the cute cedar-shingled cottage; the screen door slammed shut behind them.
“Ladies first,” Connor said upon grabbing the door for me, but a family of five poured out first.
“Thank you!” called the mom with a toddler on her hip. Her little boy was multitasking, licking an old-fashioned Fudgsicle while also trying to pull off his mother’s sunglasses.
“My pleasure!” Connor smiled, then he held the door for two Twizzler-wielding teenagers before finally gesturing me inside.
“The consummate gentleman,” I commented, but I felt my lungs contract, imagining his hand landing on my lower back to guide me through the doorway.
“You okay?” he asked when he didn’t touch me.
Because why would he?
I’d made things clear on the roof last night.
“Just a little thirsty,” I lied.
“I can help with that,” Connor said, a mischievous smile curling.
My cheeks flamed, catching the double entendre too late. Why hadn’t I said dehydrated?
He pointed toward the far side of the store, to a tall drinks fridge. “Over there.”
I flashed him the middle finger.
He hit me with a smirk that straightened my spine.
Again, I was an idiot.
“Olivia, look at these!” Maisie called before I could flee the store. “Cigarettes!”
“What?” I blinked to see my sister waving around what looked like a Marlboro pack. “They’re candy, right?”
Grinning, Maisie nodded and added them to her already impressive haul.
Wicker baskets lined the shelves, containing candy from your everyday M&M’s and Nerds Gummy Clusters to flying saucer wafers, sour strawberry belts, and blocks of chocolate.
“Oh, man!” Connor exclaimed as Maisie offered me a candy necklace to match hers.
“I was obsessed with these when I was a kid.”
“What is it?” Bryce asked, a pack of Razzles in hand.
“Building Blox,” Connor answered as he showed off a hefty bag full of what looked like colorful Legos. “I’d always build something before eating them.” He grimaced. “They can be a little hard on the teeth, though.”