Chapter 16
Sixteen
It took me ages to fall asleep that night; I didn’t know how Connor’s breathing could be so steady beneath me. Didn’t he feel the current of electricity in the room?
After the kiss that didn’t happen, I ended up reading on the porch while Connor grabbed his lacrosse stick and played catch by himself.
He’d set up a pitch back in the side yard, and he cradled the ball so intensely that I wondered if he too had nervous energy he needed to channel.
In a way, the movement was mesmerizing. I kept waiting for him to miss the ball.
He never did.
Eventually, I surrendered to sleep, but I lurched awake what felt like only moments later. A phone chimed, but it wasn’t mine. I groaned. “No…”
“Sorry!” Connor whisper-yelled. “I hoped you wouldn’t hear it.”
I didn’t ask why he’d set an alarm for the wee hours of the morning; I simply rolled over, snuggled into the other side of my pillow, and promptly fell back asleep.
But not for long.
My heart reeled when I felt a hand on my arm. “Olivia,” Connor murmured. “Wake up.”
“You’re kidding me,” I replied, though it sounded garbled. But was he? Kidding? Joking? What was with the alarm? Was Connor secretly a nocturnal creature?
After all, he was impossible to wake in the morning…
“This is not a joke,” he told me. “This is a drill.”
“I don’t hear the fire alarm,” I deadpanned, begrudgingly pushing back my covers. Sleep had set me free. “Explain.”
“Okay, not really a drill,” he amended. “More like the perfect time to practice.” He gestured out our window, to the shining night sky. “Let’s go flex our stargazing skills.”
“When did Nick mention he was going to grade us?”
Connor laughed as I started down the bunkbed ladder; my body pulsed when I felt his hands hovering only centimeters over my waist, ready to right me if I slipped. Heat swirled through my thin pajamas. The sensation made me shiver.
“Just let me grab a sweater,” I said once my bare feet hit the floor. Our room was a little chilly, and I could hear the night breeze outside. “Where did I—”
“Here.” Connor handed me one of his sweatshirts. It smelled like his sweet shampoo and sunscreen, and I smiled to myself as I tugged it over my head.
Shoes were skipped.
“Wow,” I breathed when we stepped off the porch, the stars looking like spilled sugar against the inky sky.
I’d seen them earlier tonight, of course, but I hadn’t really noticed them until now.
They glittered so brightly that I didn’t have to squint to see the Big Dipper. It practically waved hello to me.
Out of the corner of my eye, I also couldn’t help but mentally trace Connor’s perfect jawline, so stunningly outlined by moonlight.
“I should’ve grabbed a blanket,” he said once we’d walked halfway to the beach. The grass was cool and damp under our feet, but I didn’t mind. It reminded me of Annie’s Polaroid collection, especially the photo of her standing barefoot by the tractor.
Would I ever figure out where it had been taken?
“It’s okay,” I told Connor, reaching for his hand to thread our fingers together. His palm was calloused and warm, and my heart twisted when he pressed it hard against mine. “I won’t deduct that many points.”
“Oh, interesting.” He kept ahold of my hand, but teasingly bumped my hip. “Are you calling this a date?”
“No.” I hoped he couldn’t see me blush. “Not when it’s obviously a private astronomy lesson.”
“Taught by whom?” Connor asked, his voice suggesting a smile tugging at his mouth.
I comically furrowed my brow. “You didn’t coordinate with Nick?”
We both glanced back at the house; all the windows were dark, save for the dimmed kitchen lights.
“I took an astronomy class this spring,” Connor said once we went back to staring at the sky. “It was a disaster.”
“Really?” I asked. “Astronomy was known as one of the easiest electives at my school.”
“Did you take it?”
I shook my head. “I couldn’t get off the wait list.”
“I hope you weren’t too heartbroken.”
“I’m almost finished piecing it back together.”
Connor snorted and then wriggled out of my grip so he could wrap an arm around my shoulders. My stomach somersaulted as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, aching to lean into him. He was a safe haven from the briny breeze—and, in the moment, from everything else.
“I can feel your heartbeat,” I murmured after slipping my arms around him. “Hear it too.”
He laughed. “What’s it saying?”
I giggled. “It’s telling me that—” I dropped off, suddenly distracted by a bright flash on the horizon, a swift glimmer of light. “Look, a shooting star!”
“Make a wish!” Connor’s voice cracked. “Quick!”
I closed my eyes and mouthed something to myself.
“What was it?” he asked three heartbeats later.
Eyes still shut, I smirked. “Nice try.”
“Come on, tell me.”
“No,” I said. “Because if I tell you…” I trailed off, caught by Connor’s blue eyes within a single blink. His gaze was steady, but strong—I felt its pull deep in my chest. “If I tell you…” I swallowed hard. “It won’t come true.”
“Ah.” He nodded then moved away only to move close again.
I felt one hand go to my hip, and flushed when starlight swirled in his eyes.
“I believe I’ve heard that before,” he said as something in my chest sparked, hoping to catch fire.
I felt his hand leave my side, only for goose bumps to bloom when he gently cupped my face.
His thumbprint burned against my cheekbone. “Is it okay to wager a guess?”
“I suppose.” I breathed with tight lungs, my dry eyes screaming at me to blink. There was no way Connor could be right or wrong, because right now I was so spellbound that I couldn’t really remember my wish. Like the shooting star, it was already gone.
His lips slowly curved into a smile, but at the first crinkle of his eye, I tipped my mouth up to his.
Every nerve in my body reacted when he kissed me back, so hypnotically that light flickered behind my eyes.
The breeze swept up around us, but we were impervious.
If anything, the air between us crackled.
Small shock waves ran through me, and I tried not to groan when he pushed up the hem of my sweatshirt, to rest his hands on my waist.
“You weren’t supposed to tell me,” he breathed when I moved to tangle my fingers in his thick hair. “I was supposed to guess.”
“I couldn’t wait any longer,” I whispered, right before I realized that I should’ve waited longer. “Holy shit!” I pushed him away, maybe a little too suddenly. “Connor!”
He made an oof sound, like I’d knocked the wind out of him. “What?”
“We kissed,” I pseudo-squeaked as he righted himself. “I kissed you, and I…” Chocolate, caramel, and all things tree nuts came to mind. “Your EpiPen.” I took Connor’s hand and tugged. “Where is your EpiPen?”
“Back in our room,” Connor said with zero sense of urgency. He didn’t even move; instead, he attempted to twirl me back into his arms. “But I don’t need it, Olivia.” He looked a bit sheepish. “It’s okay to kiss someone tree nut–free after several hours.”
“Oh.” I said, exhaling in relief. “It’s been several hours?”
“It was several hours when my alarm went off.”
It was quiet for moment, all calm except for a wave crashing in the distance. “You didn’t wake me up for the stars,” I ventured as I spotted a second shooting star. “Did you?”
He sighed. “It was a happy coincidence.”
“Mmm, I see.” I looped my arms around his neck, heart swelling in my chest. “You couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”
You couldn’t wait until tomorrow either, part of me expected him to say. You couldn’t wait until tomorrow first.
Instead, he nodded—slowly, then very quickly. “Yes.” He broke into an unashamed grin. “I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”
“Because you’ve been waiting to kiss me?” I asked, hoping to milk it just a little bit.
He laughed and pressed his lips to my temple. “Yes,” he repeated as a ripple went through me, his voice a whisper in my ear. “I’ve been waiting to kiss you.”
* * *
I did not know what to do when the sun rose; I was vaguely aware of my Apple Watch buzzing on my wrist, but I only slipped deeper into dreamland.
It was almost nine when I woke up for real, tucked into the top bunk.
“Do you tuck Teddy in like this every night?” I remembered teasing Connor while he so chivalrously arranged my covers for me.
“Not quite,” he’d replied. “He’s much more particular.”
Then he’d given me quite the good-night kiss, leaving both of us breathless for more.
Every moment of last night felt like a dream.
But I didn’t know what we were supposed to do next. Walk into the kitchen for breakfast and announce that we were going to hang out more together?
I could hear Maisie’s voice in my head. You already do hang out a lot together.
God, what was my dad going to think?
Connor was supposed to be strictly a nice young man.
A good kid.
I descended my ladder deep in thought and let out something akin to a meow at the bottom, caught off guard by Connor’s awake presence in the room. “Hey,” he said, fully dressed and texting on his bunk. “You sleep well?”
“You’re awake,” I observed.
“Yes.”
“But you’re never awake.”
“False,” he countered as I pictured him passed out, barely breathing in the bottom bunk. “I am never awake first.” He smirked. “Today must be a fluke.”
“Try a once-in-a-lifetime event,” I quipped, then I turned to hunt for some clothes more acceptable than my silky pajamas. My heart flipped when Connor stood and spun me around for a kiss.
“Come to breakfast with me,” he murmured afterward, breath warm on my lips. “I was thinking Waterside Market, in Vineyard Haven. You haven’t been to VH yet, right?”
“You want to go out for breakfast?” I asked, but of course he did; the Carmichaels weren’t his family, and he was on vacation.
He nodded. “Breakfast is almost always a high-stress time for me. I want to enjoy it for once.” He paused. “I also want to give Ashley some space with her boys.”
That made sense too.