Chapter 37
Josh was in dire need of caffeine. He planted his palms in front of his home coffee machine as the brew trickled into the
carafe. The morning news faded into the background as he inhaled the robust aroma of his favorite java.
He’d hardly slept last night. His emotions wavered between crushing disappointment over Dad’s reaction and rapturous joy at
Maggie’s profession of love. Despite the argument with his parents, he’d gone to sleep with a smile on his face.
He couldn’t believe after all these years of unrequited love, she finally, finally , returned his feelings. It was a day he’d feared would never come. Too good to be true. If he’d known it would only take a
heartfelt confession and two weeks of blissful dating, he’d have done it years ago.
But years ago she hadn’t been ready. Not even when they’d kissed that first time. Waiting had been hard, but it was the right
thing to do. She was ready to move on now. Ready to move on with him.
And that brought him to his parents. He’d called Maggie late last night, wanting to check on her. He hated leaving her there
in the middle of so much tension. But she said she was fine. Relayed her conversation with his mom. Dad had apparently been
quiet the rest of the night, but Maggie was optimistic they would come around.
He hoped she was right. At this point he couldn’t even envision a future without her and Zoey. Now that their feelings were mutual, his thoughts fast-forwarded. She’d hinted that she was open to moving to Seabrook. Was it too soon to go there?
Yes. Too soon. He needed to give her a chance to settle into the relationship. Into her feelings. He needed to give his parents
time to accept it. Once they did, they would love the idea of Maggie and Zoey moving back to town. That was just the beginning.
Josh wanted to marry her.
But it was definitely too soon for that. He was getting ahead of himself—not to mention Maggie. But he glanced around his
house anyway, planting the seed of thought a little deeper. Would she like living here or would she prefer to buy something
together? He enjoyed his little ranch with its open floor plan and cozy backyard, but he wasn’t that attached to it. If she
wanted to look around, he could be flexible. Who was he kidding? He’d live in a tent in Squire Park if that was what she wanted.
The coffee had stopped brewing and he’d been so busy mooning over his woman he hadn’t noticed. He poured himself a mug and
took that first glorious sip of the morning.
As he swallowed, the doorbell rang. It was too early for visitors—the sun was barely up. Maggie would’ve texted him, which
left only one possibility.
Barely presentable in a pair of knit shorts and a tee, he set down his coffee and headed for the door. His dad stood on the
porch, wearing a sheepish expression, a basketball hooked under his arm.
Josh really needed that coffee. “Good morning.”
“Morning. Thought we might shoot some hoops.”
This was new. “It’s seven o’clock, Dad. And isn’t it the middle of the night in Europe?”
“You said you had a court and no one to shoot with. Here I am.”
He’d mentioned that in passing last night. “Ooo-kay...” Josh opened the door wider. “Guess I’ll get my shoes on. Want some
coffee?”
“No, thanks.”
That made one of them. Josh put on his shoes while Dad wandered around the living room, peering at his photos, browsing his
bookshelves.
When Josh was ready he stopped by the kitchen, grabbed his mug, and started chugging. Ow, ow, ow. He managed to swallow half, then set down the mug and headed toward the back door. “We can go out this way.”
Dad followed him across the patio and toward the unattached garage, complete with basketball court. Once there, Dad bounced
the ball to Josh and he made an easy layup.
He’d used the court only a few times since he installed the backboard in the spring. Big D had come over to play once. Maggie
and Zoey had played HORSE with him. A fun afternoon. He lifted Zoey to the hoop for her shots. And it turned out that as athletic
as Maggie was, she was a terrible shot.
Dad wasn’t much better. When he shot from the free throw line, the ball hit the rim and bounced off.
Josh rebounded and passed it back to him.
Dad dribbled the ball awkwardly. “Hey, um, I’m sorry about last night. I was caught off guard. I know I handled it badly.”
He shot the ball, which hit high on the backboard.
Josh rebounded. “I’m sure the news was a shock.”
“Honestly, I just never... I need a little time to adjust to that one. But I want to clear that other up first.”
Josh jumped and released the ball. It swished through the net.
“You and I have never really talked about... when you got sick.” Dad caught the ball and turned it over in his hands. “It really scared me, Josh. I dealt with medical emergencies all the time, but when it’s your son... I didn’t cope with it well. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think I pulled away from you. I was so scared of losing you.”
Josh thought back. He’d thought his dad had just been busy working all those months. “Are you trying to say you were running
from it? From me?”
His dad swallowed hard. Took a shot that missed the board entirely. “I know. What a coward, right? At first I focused on finding
you the best doctors around. But after that I guess I left your mom to handle the day-to-day care, using the excuse that she
was off in the summer. I practically deserted you in the name of ‘providing for the family.’ But really... I was just scared
to death. I kept long hours because when I was working, I didn’t have to think about the fact that my son could die.” He blinked
back tears.
Josh stood motionless. He’d been a boy trying to cope with the effects of chemo, becoming the “sick kid” in his class, trying
not to be afraid for his life.
“By the time you were well, I’d put a wall up. To protect myself, is what your mother says. She’s probably right about that.
She’s right about most things. And your brother... it was always so easy to find things to talk about. Even Erin, with
her interest in psychology and science—we had so much in common. Whereas you and me, we’re so different. I know I should’ve
tried harder.”
Josh’s thoughts were stuck on the first part—the part where he’d been sick. Dad had buried himself in work to run away from
it. Josh hadn’t had the luxury.
“I know I let you down when you needed me most. I let my wife and the whole family down. You’ll never know how sorry I am for that. The regret eats me alive.”
Wait a minute. While Dad had been running so hard—had he run straight into the arms of Robyn Jennings? He stared at the man
standing before him, looking tired and defeated. Josh tried to dredge up some sympathy. But all he could think about were
the times he’d spent bent over the toilet bowl, his mom always nearby taking care of him, comforting him. While his dad was
out doing his own thing, succumbing to his fears.
Josh had to know the truth. He had to ask the question. “Is work the only thing you lost yourself in, Dad?”
Dad blinked. Tilted his head. “When you were sick? What do you mean?”
“Yes, when I was sick.” He could hardly stand the thought of it. He pinned his father with a look. “Was there another woman?
Did you cheat on Mom?”
Dad’s head jerked back. “What?”
“I want the truth. I need to know.”
“What—? Why—?” Lines furrowed Dad’s forehead. He broke eye contact and then, seemingly in a daze, wandered over to where the
ball lay in the grass and picked it up. When he faced Josh again, his eyes were like ice. He advanced on Josh, stopping an
arm’s length away. “I’m guilty of a lot of things, son. But I have never cheated on your mother. I don’t know where you get off suggesting such a thing. I know I said some things yesterday I shouldn’t
have. I’m sorry for that. And I’m even sorrier for withdrawing when you were sick—sorrier than I can ever say.” His voice
trembled, his eyes flickering with hurt. “But I don’t know where you’d get the idea— Your mother is the love of my life. I
haven’t so much as touched another woman since the day we met.”
He was telling the truth. Dad wasn’t capable of lying to his face like that. And now Josh felt like a dog for making the accusation. Wished he could take it back. “I’m sorry, Dad. I was out of line.”
He opened his mouth to explain about Will. But unless this whole look-alike thing was just some crazy fluke, he could think
of only one other person who could’ve fathered him. And Josh wasn’t opening that can of worms right now.
Dad closed his eyes. Exhaled a breath. Then gave him a questioning look. “Where did that come from?”
“I was angry and I spoke out of turn. I’m sorry.” He couldn’t take back those words. But at least he knew the truth.
After a moment Dad clapped a hand over his shoulder. Gave him a mirthless grin. “Like father, like son, huh?”
They shot the ball in silence awhile.
Dad finally had a shot that nearly went in. “You know, Josh, I don’t say it nearly enough, but I’m proud of you. You’re a
good man and I love you.”
Josh swallowed against the lump in his throat. He’d needed that. “Thanks, Dad.”
“How ’bout we just put all this behind us, okay? Can we just move on from this?”
Josh expelled a breath. A lot had been said by both of them. Things he’d have to process later. But he could forgive now.
“Gladly.”
Dad handed him the ball and Josh dribbled it, then faced the basket. “I hate to bring it up, but there’s still the issue of
Maggie and me—it’s not going away.” He shot the ball. It hit the backboard and sank through the net.
Dad retrieved the ball and went to the free throw line. “I can hardly wrap my mind around that right now. But give me a little
time, okay? You know I’m not good with change.”
A reasonable request. “You got it. I’m sorry to have dumped all this on you guys. I know the timing’s bad with the five-year anniversary coming up. We’re all a little out of sorts.”
“Erin explained all that.” Dad shot the ball, releasing it like an arrow from a quiver. It hit the front of the rim and pinged
off. Dad grimaced. “Maybe you could give your old man a few pointers. If I’m going to be shooting hoops with my son, I should
at least challenge him a little.”
Josh grinned at him. “That could be arranged.”
“Mom and I thought we’d come along on one of your tours next week. Would that be all right with you?”
“That’d be great, Dad. I’ll set you up with some tickets.” It hadn’t been easy, but they’d somehow managed to clear the air.
Even though Josh now had a new problem to process.