Chapter 53
Josh was watching for Maggie out the beach house window. He realized that might have seemed pathetic, but really he just needed
to clear the air before she stepped into the madhouse that was his parents’ Thanksgiving.
A bit of smoke hung in the air—spilled grease apparently. In the kitchen Mom fussed over the turkey and nearby Dad stood on
a chair waving a towel in front of the smoke detector. Patrick and Owen pretended to help in the kitchen while sneaking peeks
at the Cowboys game blaring in the living room. Since it was seventy and sunny, Erin and Will set the tables on the deck,
their chatter carrying through the screen door. Mia ran from room to room in a pink tutu, waving a magic wand, its pink ribbons
fluttering alongside her.
He was usually immune to the chaos, but today it was plucking at his last nerve because, Maggie. No doubt seeing her would
pick off the scab he’d been growing for almost three months. But he could do this—fake it. He’d done it a million times before,
hadn’t he?
He just needed a moment with her to set the tone. To show her he could be casual-friend Josh. Brother-in-law Josh. Return to their old ways and get their footing back before she reentered their family. Before she met his boy. He needed to set his mind at ease—and hers too. She was no doubt worried about how this might go. Worried about how he was doing. He’d reassure her all was well—then they could all relax and enjoy the day.
Ha.
Like it or not, this would be his future, since moving from Seabrook was no longer an option. He’d missed Will’s entire childhood.
There was no way he was missing another day. Even if it meant having his heart wrenched apart every time he saw Maggie.
The hum of a car’s engine sounded, drawing his focus down to the drive. Maggie pulled in, edging up to Will’s bumper. Josh’s
heart rocked in his chest as he headed toward the front door. He slipped outside, made his way down the steps, and caught
sight of Maggie opening the back door for Zoey.
Maggie was beautiful in a casual sage-green dress that fluttered around her long legs. Some of her hair was pulled back into
a clip and the shimmering waves ruffled down her back. He’d thought maybe he’d grow used to that dull ache in his chest, but
nope.
Zoey jumped from the vehicle, scooted around her mother, and caught sight of him at the bottom of the steps. “Uncle Josh!”
She ran straight into his arms.
“Hey, Cupcake.” He swooped her up, tightening his arms around her. Man, he’d missed the kid. “Long time no see. Did you behave
on the drive down?”
“I wrote a book for Mia. I know all my letters now.”
“That’s because you’re so smart.”
“It’s Thanksgiving and Aunt Erin made dirt pudding just for me, but I have to eat my mashed potatoes and turkey first.”
He tweaked her nose. “You like mashed potatoes and turkey, silly.”
“Yeah, but I like dirt pudding better.”
He chuckled. “Can’t blame you there, kid.”
“Hi,” Maggie said as she approached.
His laughter faded as the soft tone of her voice warmed him through. “Hey.” His gaze homed in on her bloodshot eyes. The pinkened tip of her nose. He recognized the signs of a recent crying jag and frowned.
Zoey wiggled from his arms. “I’m gonna go see Mamaw and Papaw.”
He set her down and took the grocery bag from Maggie. “Here, honey, run this inside. We’ll be in in a minute.”
“Okay!” Zoey grabbed the bag and dashed up the steps.
Josh focused on Maggie’s expression. The tentative smile didn’t fool him one bit. “What’s wrong? What happened?”
Her smile wobbled. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“You’ve been crying.”
She gave up all pretense. “I, uh, ran into Samantha at the grocery store.”
“Samantha?” His ex-wife was capable of delivering quite the tongue-lashing, not that he hadn’t deserved it. But Maggie sure didn’t. The thought of her dressing Maggie down in public made him see red. “What did
she do? What did she say to you?”
Maggie glanced over his shoulder toward the beach. “Um, can we maybe take a quick walk on the beach?”
“Sure.” This wasn’t exactly the conversation he’d anticipated, but it needed to be had. They headed down the walkway between
the homes. “Was she mean to you?”
“No. Well, she wasn’t exactly nice, but that’s not why I’m upset.”
“What is it then?”
She was quiet as they took the few steps to the boardwalk that led over the sand dunes. When they reached the top she touched
his arm, stopping him.
He made a study of her face. Eyes that flicked away. Tension straining the line of her forehead. Teeth clamping the soft flesh of her lower lip.
And he suddenly knew what Samantha had said. He could even imagine exactly how she’d said it. Hadn’t she uttered such things
to him a hundred times during the downward spiral of their marriage?
“You’re disgusting. You’re in love with your brother’s wife. You’ve been sniffing after her this whole time! You should be
ashamed of yourself.” That sneer on her face. That look of contempt. He’d deserved all of it.
And now Maggie knew his terrible secret. She must think he was an awful person. And an awful brother. Heat flushed his face.
His heart slammed his rib cage. He scratched his neck.
But there was no avoiding this. It was happening, right now, and he might as well own up to it. His gaze skittered to her
eyes and found them searching his face.
“Is it true?” she said softly.
Wary, he nodded. Scanned her face for traces of loathing. Disgust. Contempt.
But he found none of that. She didn’t seem to be mad or horrified. Didn’t seem to hate him. Instead she was gazing at him
like... like maybe she loved him anyway. She palmed his cheek, her touch so soft he could’ve wept. The weight of guilt
fell off him like broken shackles.
She leaned closer, brushed his lips with hers. His arms went around her and she slid into his embrace, arms snaking around
his shoulders. He tilted his head and went for broke. To have her back in his arms was heaven. Especially because she knew
the truth and didn’t hold it against him. What a sweet release.
He lost himself in the kiss, which went on long enough to steal his breath and stir his blood. But as his brain surfaced, reality came with it. They had some talking to do. He eased away, framed her face with his hands just to make sure she didn’t go far.
“How long?” she whispered.
He stared into those doe eyes. “Since the first time I saw you in the kitchen, sitting at the island with Erin, eating grapes.”
Her eyes twinkled. “That’s very specific.”
“I can still see you like it was yesterday in that white top, cutouts on the shoulders. You wore a white choker necklace made
of ribbon and dangly silver earrings. And your laughter... the sound of it made my heart skip a beat. I’d never felt anything
like it.”
Maggie shook her head. “I didn’t know. I didn’t have any idea. I remember meeting you. You hung out in the kitchen with us
for a while, but you were so quiet. I thought you were shy.”
“I was nervous. You made me tongue-tied.”
“But you were always so good with girls!”
“What can I say? Love slammed into me pretty hard.” Remembering what happened next, his smile wilted. “Then Ethan came around
and I noticed the way your eyes lit up when you saw him.”
She winced. “Oh, Josh.”
“I was too young for you and I knew it. It took about two minutes for you guys to hook up.”
“I’m sorry. That must’ve been painful to watch.”
Nothing like teenage heartbreak. Except when those same feelings followed you into your twenties and beyond. “I thought it
would pass. I’d had crushes before and they were fleeting. But this was different. This was love.”
“Nobody knew?”
“I was embarrassed at first. You viewed me as Erin and Ethan’s kid brother. I could see that. Then as we grew up and your relationship with Ethan became serious—permanent—I felt like a dog. I harbored feelings for my brother’s wife. Feelings I would’ve done anything to eradicate. God knows I tried my best.”
Maggie smirked. “You sure did.”
His gaze sharpened on her. Was that jealousy flaring in her eyes? Well, what about that? “Every woman fell short, way short,
because none of them were you.”
Her face softened. She turned his hand, pressed a kiss to his palm. “Speaking of all your conquests... Now’s probably the
time to admit the real reason I called things off between us.”
The real reason? He searched her face.
“I was scared to death you’d never be able to commit to me.”
He couldn’t help it—he burst out laughing. “Oh, that’s rich.”
“ What? You dated every woman in Seabrook for, like, two seconds each.”
He nailed her with a look. “Because I couldn’t have you .”
“Well, I didn’t know that then.” The sheepish look on her face tugged at his heart.
“It’s okay. I guess it must’ve seemed like I had massive commitment issues.” He kissed her forehead as his laughter died off.
“I did make my marriage work, for a while anyway. I really thought I might be able to make a life with Samantha. I did love
her at one time, though not the same way I love you. It was... love lite , I guess you could say. I hoped it would grow into more. Thought that as it did, my feelings for you would surely subside.
“But they never did and I felt terrible about that. I was swamped with guilt. First because Ethan was my brother and then
because the woman I really loved wasn’t my wife. All that guilt caused me to put up walls with Samantha—took me a while to
see that—and it caused a lot of insecurity on her end. Then she found out how I felt about you.” He shook his head. “There
was no coming back from that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“You couldn’t help how you felt, Josh. You kept it inside. You never acted on it.”
“Till a few years ago.” He gave a wry laugh, remembering the playful moment that turned serious on her living room couch.
“That kiss rocked me back on my heels.”
“You and me both.”
“You didn’t admit it to me, though. You let me believe you were thinking of Ethan. And when we finally got together this summer—even
though it wasn’t for long—I loved every minute of being with you. I always felt a little second best to Ethan, but this summer
I thought if I could just have you , I could live with playing second fiddle to my brother where you’re concerned.”
Maggie’s eyes went glassy. “Oh, Josh, that’s not the case at all.”
“You don’t have to say that, honey. I know he’ll always be your first love.”
Maggie shook her head, an adamant look coming over her features. “You don’t understand. You’re not my second choice, Josh—you’re
the first man to love me for who I truly am.”
He blinked, trying to absorb the words.
“Counseling has been very enlightening on several fronts. Among other things, I’ve learned I was afraid to be myself with
Ethan—but never with you. I was myself with you and you loved me anyway. You have no idea how precious that is to me.”
Was that true? She seemed so certain. He wasn’t in competition with his brother: She would always love Ethan, as she should.
But the revelation soothed some wounded part of him. “You’re perfect the way you are.”
“Perfect for you.” Her smile trembled. “Everything you’ve been through all these years... It must’ve been so hard for you. I hate that I caused you so much pain.”
His thumbs swept across her cheeks. “It was hard. But I’d go through it all over again if it ends with you in my arms. I love
you, Maggie.”
“I love you too.” She brushed his lips with hers. “You’ve always been there for me, always loved me just the way I am, flaws
and all. I’m yours, Josh, if you’ll have me.”
He took her mouth in a kiss that left no doubt about his answer. It betrayed all the love, all the passion he felt for her.
He couldn’t believe she was finally his. He was never going to let her go.
When they broke apart, she beamed. “I haven’t even said hi to your family.”
“Might as well do that now.” He jerked his head toward the beach house, where his entire family gawked from the deck.
She burst out laughing. Gave a wave.
They whooped and hollered.
Owen jabbed his fist in the air. “Way to go, Uncle Josh!”
Josh laughed, taking her hand. “I think our private little interlude is officially over.”
Maggie fell in step beside him. “Just as well. Isn’t it about time you introduced me to your son?”