8. Summer
SUMMER
T his man practically ghosted me back in high school and his rejection fucks with my self-confidence, so I’m not sure why he’s so eager to help me now.
I need to stay strong, but my heart still yearns for him, and it’s overriding my rational brain at this point.
Even if Raven was okay with us, I need a stable man in my life, and the RJ I knew was restless, always jumping from one thing to the next.
The dust hadn’t even settled on us before he moved on to Jessica, and the last I heard he’d held multiple jobs before becoming a firefighter.
And I don’t need another man who will only let me down.
We walk downstairs, and RJ heads straight for Lucas, removing the ice pack as he examines his foot while I clean up the kitchen.
I need to keep my hands busy so I don’t fixate on the way his forearms flex as he wraps my son’s ankle.
The way he so gently cares for my kids as if they were his own.
Or the way he’s slowly chipping away at all my defenses.
Nope, this is temporary. It’s just convenient because we’re stuck in the same house together.
Things will go back to the way they were once we return to Chestnut Mountain.
My kids don’t have a lot of men in their lives. I have my mom friends, and that’s been enough for me. But two of them started dating firefighters this year, and Hardy and Mike have been hanging out with our group more, so it’s not like they’re never around male role models.
“I’m bored!” Lana whines.
Pausing my cleaning efforts, I pinch my eyes shut and take a deep breath.
I hate that phrase more than anything. Since when did it become the parent’s job to entertain their kids?
My parents left me on my own most of the time.
I was running around with neighborhood kids, and my parents didn’t know where I was most days.
We found ways to entertain ourselves. I never would’ve griped to my parents about being bored.
Nowadays kids have shorter attention spans, but they also have more ways of entertaining themselves than I ever had growing up. But “I’m bored” is usually actually just code for “Can I have my tablet?”
“I have another book you can read,” Logan offers.
Lana sinks onto a loveseat. “I don’t want to read any of your books.”
“Maybe we could go crab hunting?” RJ suggests.
Lucas perks up. “Can we?”
“Please, Mom!” Logan begs.
“I wanna go!” Lana says, surprising me.
I wrinkle my nose. Crab hunting is the last thing I want to do. Hunting around a dark beach only to be blindsided by a creepy-crawly with pinching arms? Yeah, no thanks.
Letting out a deep sigh, I push my desires down, ready to please my kids.
RJ looks at me, seemingly reading my discomfort. “I was thinking about going snorkeling later. Who wants to join me?”
A chorus of “Me’s!” erupt.
Lucas frowns. “What if I can’t swim with my foot?”
RJ smiles at him as he finishes wrapping Lucas’s ankle and rubs his leg in support. “That’s the best part. You can just float. You don’t have to swim or kick.”
The responding joy on Lucas’s face warms my heart.
Their own father doesn’t want to spend this much time with them.
It would be easy to assume RJ’s placating them, that he feels sorry for me, that he’s just humoring us.
But that’s never been RJ. I know he has a good heart.
That’s why his rejection back in high school hurt that much more.
“Do you think we’ll see any octopuses or starfish?” Logan asks.
Lucas’s face lights up. “I want to watch a starfish poop out of its hands!”
RJ laughs at the absurdity of his words. “I feel like I’m missing something.”
Lana rolls her eyes. “They don’t have hands.”
“Legs. Whatever,” Lucas says.
“I’ve been practicing my punching in case an octopus comes near me,” Logan adds.
Lana crosses her arms. “Shut up. An octopus isn’t gonna punch you.”
“You don’t know that,” Logan argues. “It could, and I wanna be prepared.”
The last thing I want to do is go snorkeling. It’s probably an irrational fear, and I know we’re vacationing on an island surrounded by the ocean, but I’ve never loved swimming in big bodies of water.
RJ’s staring at me while the kids continue talking.
He slowly walks toward me, and I squirm in anticipation as he approaches.
Everything about this man is overwhelming.
His scent. His gaze. His attention. He leans in close to my ear.
“I got you.” My eyes flick up to his in confusion. “If you’re nervous.”
How does he know that? Is it all over my face? “I’m not nervous,” I lie, biting my lip.
His eyes track the movement, and I swallow thickly. “It’s perfectly safe. And you can hold on to me if you’re worried about floating away.” He leans in close. “And this time I’ll rub sunscreen all over you, so I know you’re protected.”
Why is that so hot? That shouldn’t be so hot.
“Can we, Mom?” Lana begs, breaking the spell.
I lean around him and glance at my kids. They’re all looking at me with big eyes. There aren’t a lot of activities that they agree on, so the fact that they all want to do this is huge. A defeated sigh escapes me. “I guess we’re going snorkeling.”
“Yay!” the kids shout in unison.
“But I have some things I need to get done around here first. I need all of you to go straighten up your rooms and make your beds. It should look like no one is staying in it. I need to snap some pics.”
“Why are you taking pics?” Sophie frowns.
“Raven asked me to create a listing so she can sell this place.”
Sophie’s head snaps to her dad. “Shit, Auntie Raven wants to sell this place?”
“Language,” Logan shouts from the love seat.
“Sorry, kid,” Sophie calls back.
RJ shrugs. “It was news to me too.” He holds up his phone and turns to Logan. “I’ll pay for her swear.”
“Dad, you can’t let her do that. Have you seen this place? It’s amazing. We have to come back here every summer. Can we buy it from her?”
“It’s not up to me,” RJ says.
Sophie gestures around the space. “But Dad…”
“Sophie.”
“We have to talk her out of it.”
He shoots me an apologetic glance.
“I won’t be the one handling the listing. I’m just helping her get it ready. This seems like a family matter so I’ll let you two talk.” I back out of the room.
I need to put some space between me and RJ.
His nearness is affecting me in ways I don’t like nor understand.
This man rejected me when we were kids. And even though I never told him, he has to know how his actions hurt me.
At least on some level. The longer we’re here, the nicer he’s being.
I cannot get wrapped up in this man again—my heart barely survived the last time, and I have more to lose now if it didn’t work out.
Me
I’m still mad at you.
Raven
What did I do?
You know.
Is my brother being an idiot?
No, he’s being nice.
What’s the problem?
I don’t want him to be nice.
I don’t want him to be anything.
And I don’t want him to be here.
Sorry.
No you’re not.
Yeah, I’m really not.
You’ll be fine. Just ignore him.
Easier said than done.
I can’t escape him, he’s everywhere.
We’re sharing a bed, Raven.
Gross.
Nothing is happening.
Look, clearly you two have some issues to work out. Maybe it’d be good for you two to talk about it.
Talk about what? Did he say something?
No.
Talk about whatever it is that pissed you off so much back in high school. We all used to be friends until that party. And I know I dared you to kiss each other, but I wouldn’t have if I knew it would blow up the way it did.
It’s fine.
It’s not fine.
No, it’s not, but I don’t want to talk about it.
I can’t tell her what really happened. Making friends in your thirties is so hard, and I’ve been fortunate enough to still be besties with one of my grade school friends.
That’s rare. I don’t want to throw away decades worth of friendship because I have the hots for her brother.
Though, I don’t think Raven would be mad if she knew I had a crush on him back then. She’s very logical. And practical.
I just wanted a week away with the kids. I wanted to enjoy my birthday in paradise. And I’m thankful you want me to help you get this house ready to sell. But you might want to talk to your niece. She’s trying to talk RJ into keeping it.
I love my brother and my niece, but I have a plan for this house. They’ll have to deal.