17. Summer
SUMMER
T his is my least favorite part of the summer, when the kids leave to visit Todd’s family.
Once their plane takes off, I walk over to my gate, take a seat, and stare at my phone.
Flipping through my pics is the best medicine for the loneliness.
Seeing their smiling faces, some posed, some candid, fills me with joy and sadness.
It’s easy to assume that being a divorced single parent means you get every other weekend off and plenty of child-free time while your kids are with your ex.
But that’s not our situation, I don’t get weekends off, not that I’d want them anyway.
Instead, I get a whole summer without my kids, and I hate it.
It’s good for them to see their dad and grandparents, I tell myself.
And I know they’re taken care of, but I really miss them when they’re gone.
Movement in my periphery catches my attention, and I look over to see RJ running through the terminal. What is he doing?
“Summer!” RJ calls, waving his arms like he’s desperate to get my attention.
I wave back awkwardly, standing as he approaches. “You’re going to miss your flight.”
He stops in front of me and takes me in as if he hasn’t seen me for years instead of hours. His chest expands rapidly as he tries to catch his breath.
It’s impossible to look away with the way he’s drinking me in, but I break eye contact, glancing behind him. “What’s wrong? Where’s Sophie?”
“On the plane. It was her idea.”
“What was her idea?” I give him a curious look. What is he doing?
He takes a deep breath as if what he’s about to say is hard for him. “Don’t go.”
“What?”
“Don’t get on the plane.” He’s still panting, slightly out of breath.
“But—”
“I didn’t get on the plane, and I don’t want you to get on your plane either.”
Blinking several times, I try to make sure I’m hearing him correctly. “What are you talking about?”
“Stay. Stay with me at the house.”
“But I need to get home. My flight leaves in an hour, and it was the only flight left. And the only other one to Denver left just now.”
“I know, Sophie was on it. I was supposed to be on it. But I’m asking you to stay.
You make your own hours, don’t you? You could take another week off.
You don’t have the kids, they’ll be with their dad.
And I’m staying here and I want you to stay here with me.
” His hand cups my cheek and I lean into the warmth of his palm.
“For a week. I know we need to talk, and there’s so much history between us.
Give me the week. I know you feel this.”
My heart is at war with my head. I want this. Fuck, do I want this. But I can’t ignore the elephant in the room with us. “But Raven…”
“I’m not afraid of Raven anymore. It’s been a long time since she tried to sit on me.”
A laugh escapes me, and he grips my waist with his free hand. “You may not be afraid of her, but I am. She’s my best friend. I don’t want to lose her. You don’t know how hard it is to make mom friends.”
“You won’t lose her. We’re all adults now. We can make our own decisions, and I want to spend time with you. I was an idiot back in high school, hurting you like that. I won’t let history repeat itself this time.”
My heart races and I worry the sound of my heartbeat in my ears has distracted me from his words. “What are you saying?”
“I never should have let you go. Back then I worried too much about what Raven would think, so I pushed you away. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret how I treated you.”
He’s saying all the right things, what I’ve always wanted to hear, but I can’t turn off that voice in my head telling me all the ways this could go wrong.
“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to do this, but I want to make sure you understand what could happen if this backfires.
Raven is my best friend, practically family.
We spend holidays together. Our kids are best friends.
She’s my support system, and I can’t lose her.
I’m not giving all that up just to hump my first kiss in her beach house. ”
He rears back, a pained look crossing his face. “Is that all you think I want?”
“Isn’t it? We had the most awkward first kiss ever and then spent a week proving to ourselves and each other that we were better kissers than that.” It’s a lie. But I’m not ready to tell him how deeply I felt for him back then, or how hurt I was when he moved on.
“Don’t get me wrong, I really fucking enjoyed the kissing, but I enjoyed being around you. We were friends for years before that kiss. And I wanted more from you than just the kissing.”
“Yeah, you wanted what all teenage boys wanted.” It’s an effort not to roll my eyes, not to push him away. He’s being vulnerable right now, but I’m still so scared that he’ll break my heart again.
He takes a step closer. “I wanted to be the only boy you ever kissed. But since we can’t have that, I’ll settle for being the last man you ever kiss.”
He leans in and presses his lips against mine, and just like I did back in high school, I lose all rational thought.
All the stress and worry leaves my mind as I melt into him.
It’s like kissing this man is therapy, the only thing that gives me peace, and I want to stay in his arms until I’m fully healed.
When he pulls back, his forehead pressed to mine, our noses touching, the spell is finally broken and all the worst-case scenarios come crashing into my thoughts. “We can’t. We shouldn’t.”
“One week, Summer. Give me one week. Please.”
My mind swims with all the possibilities. This is a bad idea. No, it’s a freaking great idea, but it’s reckless. I’m kid-free for the rest of the summer with no plans other than work, and I want to do something for myself for once.
I nod my agreement. “One week.”
He kisses my forehead and leans down to grab my bag then clasps my hand, and I follow behind him.
“Wait. What about the rest of our luggage? I checked a bag.”
“Shit.”
“This isn’t as romantic as the movies.” He gives me a wounded look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean you weren’t being romantic or that the gesture wasn’t. I just think all these books and movies romanticize an airport moment and never address logistics like this.”
He tugs on my hand. “I’ll text Sophie to grab it when she gets to the airport. And I’m not complaining if you live in my clothes for a week. Or we can stop somewhere and buy you some new clothes.”
“What are we telling Raven? Won’t she be suspicious that we’re both staying?”
“Sophie handled that for us. She told Raven that the kids knocked a hole in the drywall and there were some other things about the house that you found concerning so you wanted to get an inspection. I’m helping you fix some things around the property.”
“I love that girl.”
“Me too.”
“So, we’re doing this?”
He flashes me the biggest grin. “We’re doing this.”