Chapter Twenty-Two #2
“Are you assuming that Simon only shows up at night, Spencer?” I grabbed her hand and tugged her down to sit on the floor with me, pulling her close until our bodies were flush.
I leaned forward and kissed her. It was like a balm.
I had the crazy feeling that nothing could touch me if this woman was in my orbit.
“I think Hannah is making an appearance.” She made a soft sound in her throat and pulled me in closer, opening her mouth beneath mine and tunneling her fingers into my hair.
I kissed her until I couldn’t breathe and then I kissed her some more. I was just about to haul her to her feet and lead her upstairs when a blast of hot breath and a cold snout nudged their way between us.
With a yelp, Hannah and I pulled back to find both Dude and Frank wedging in between us. Dude had a crocheted pot holder in his mouth, which he dropped into Hannah’s lap, while Frank climbed onto my lap, demanding pets.
“I think the chaperones have arrived.” I dutifully scratched the pug’s belly and he shut his eyes in ecstasy while his tongue slid out the side of his mouth.
Hannah laughed and patted Dude’s head before she glanced down at the pot holder. “Oh.”
“What is it?”
She gently picked up the colorful square and flipped it over, studying it as if it was more than something to grab hot things with. I waited, watching a parade of emotions cross her face.
“I crocheted this for Pops when I was away at summer camp when I was fifteen because I missed him so much.” She sighed. “I can’t believe he kept it all these years.”
She held it up and I admired the stitching while I pictured a younger version of her, crafting a gift for her Pops. It made my heart ache.
“He obviously loved you very much.”
Her smile was small and her eyes sad. “It’s just so hard.
I miss him so much. I was filming at Arches National Park when my dad called to tell me that they thought it was a matter of days.
I had to drive straight through, running on caffeine and panic.
I slid into Pops’s room right as he took his last breath.
I grabbed his hand and said, ‘I’m here,’ but he didn’t come back and I don’t even know if he knew I was there.
” A tear slid down her cheek and I reached up and caught it with my thumb.
Her voice was little more than a sob when she said, “I never had a chance to say a proper good-bye.”
I pulled her close and let her cry it out on my shoulder. I could feel the fabric of my shirt getting damp and didn’t care. She could soak me through with her tears and I’d be grateful just to be there to ease her pain if I could.
As if sensing the solemnity of the moment, Dude lay down beside her and plopped his head in Hannah’s lap while Frank remained in mine. Somehow it felt right to be in this tangle of human and canine as Hannah worked through her feelings.
“Sorry, for some reason my emotions are extremely close to the surface today.” Hannah sniffed and pulled back to meet my gaze.
“Three orgasms will do that, or so I’ve heard,” I teased.
She laughed and pushed halfheartedly at my chest. “Quite proud of that, aren’t you?”
“Not gonna brag, but I think it was some of my best work.” I shrugged.
“I’ll say it was.” Her voice dropped to a husky whisper and I felt a flash of heat hit me low and deep.
“Careful, Spencer, or we’ll never make it out of the kitchen.”
“Would that be so bad?” She twined her arms around my neck and pulled me close.
Her mouth moved across mine with a seductive sweetness that lured me in on every level.
I could have kissed her for hours, days, or possibly weeks.
But I also wanted to know that she was okay.
I remembered my initial depression after Gramps passed.
I forced myself to keep busy at work, never allowing the grief in.
I wished I could grieve with the abandon that Hannah did.
I’d locked down the pain so hard in the days following Gramps’s death that I had yet to cry and sometimes, I just felt completely broken inside.
I eased out of the kiss, cupped her face in my hands, and took a moment to appreciate her half-lidded swollen-lipped dreamy expression and damn near lost my purpose. Instead, I shook my head like Dude when he came out of the water, cleared my throat, and said, “Are you okay?”
She sighed and leaned into me, her head fitting perfectly against my shoulder. I rested my cheek on top of her head and it felt as if we’d been engineered to fit just so.
“Thank you for asking,” she said. “I will be. I know you didn’t get to say good-bye to Gramps, either. Have you made peace with it? Does it get easier?”
“I think it’s easier for me because his last words to me were to get it together and go live the life I wanted. A nice kick in the pants, which felt like an appropriate last conversation coming from him,” I said.
Hannah chuckled and I knew it was because she had come to know Gramps through me and she could understand what I was saying, just as I understood how much it hurt her not to have had that same sort of moment with her Pops.
“Of course, I couldn’t just pitch my responsibilities and pursue my dreams,” I said. “But I did take his words to heart, and I am trying to live up to his expectations.”
“I’m glad you had that time together.” She hugged me, resting her head on my shoulder and I kissed her hair, inhaling the soothing scent that was uniquely hers.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” I glanced at the clock. “Luke texted that he and Bebe were leaving the hospital this morning. We can walk Frank home so he can meet his new sister.”
Bebe was tucked into a recliner in the living room while Luke was in the kitchen making her a sandwich. Hannah was seated next to Bebe, listening as she told the story of Luke almost passing out while holding her in place for the epidural.
“It’s a very large needle!” Luke yelled from the kitchen.
Bebe and Hannah exchanged a knowing look and I was struck by how normal it felt to be here in this moment right now. I had a feeling of belonging that was so unexpected it caught me off guard. I glanced down at the little human bundle in my arms.
Were newborns always this tiny? She barely filled both of my hands.
Why were they entrusting me with this itty-bitty little being?
What if I dropped her? I stood perfectly still, terrified I might trip.
I studied her thick eyelashes and tiny nose and her wizened little face.
She was so defenseless, I felt a primal urge to slay dragons for her if it was required…
or was she? What the little one lacked in size, she made up for in volume.
One moment she was deep in dreamland and the next her tiny little limbs twitched and her face scrunched up as she began wailing.
“Um…Luke…Bebe…Hannah…help.”
Bebe turned toward me and held up her hands. I gently lowered the baby into them and released a breath I hadn’t known I was holding.
Baby girl settled into her mother’s arms as if she knew that was exactly where she was supposed to be. Hannah reached up and took one tiny little fist between her thumb and forefinger.
“She is perfection.” Hannah and Bebe studied the tiny one with matching awed smiles. Hannah rose to her feet and said, “We’ll let you settle in. Call us if you need anything. Dude is always happy to have Frank come and play.”
“Thank you.” Bebe reached up and squeezed Hannah’s hand and then mine. “I’m so glad you two are our neighbors. Bobby and Billy were two of the first people I told that I was pregnant. Having you with us just feels right.”
We walked home with our fingers interlaced. It was a meandering walk. We didn’t rush. We let the ocean breeze gently nudge us toward the cottage. There were boxes upon boxes to be sorted and I wondered what we’d discover next about our grandfathers.
I glanced at the woman beside me and was hit with the realization that if I had inherited this cottage all by my lonesome, without anyone to meet the neighbors or share the discoveries with, there was no way I would have appreciated the life Gramps had carved out for himself here.
But because Hannah was here and I was seeing the relationship between Pops and Gramps through her eyes, I was much more invested.
I squeezed her hand. “Thank you.”
Hannah turned to me in surprise. “Context?”
“This.” I gestured to our cottage at the end of the street. “Would have been infinitely more difficult without you.”
She tipped her chin up and hugged my arm to her side. Her smile was full of affection and understanding and I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt this connected to another person.
“So, what you’re saying is you like me.”
My gaze moved over her face from her bright blue eyes and upturned nose to her wide generous mouth. My voice was gruff when I said, “I definitely like you.”