Chapter 14 #3
“Well, I didn’t know, for one thing. I was clueless, just going about my life as a teenager, getting ready for college.
I went and…bam. Thanksgiving break, I found out they were splitting and had waited until I went away to school.
I know now that was out of love and respect for me, but I couldn’t help wondering if my absence from the house had somehow broken the family. ”
“Oh, that must have been hard for you.”
“It wasn’t fun, but I threw myself into school and eventually came to terms with their divorce.
” He brushed back some hair, looking off into the distance.
“I always thought if they could just live in the same house again, they’d figure it out.
Then my mom stayed last month to hover over me and…
this…” He lifted his arm. “And I realized they were apart for a reason. Plus, I really like Vivien. She’s good for Dad. ”
She looked up at him, catching his strong profile as he studied the heron that hadn’t moved from the side of the lake. He turned, catching her looking right at him.
“Good subject change, by the way,” he said. “Right as I admit I like you, I get taken to my childhood, my career choice, and my parents.”
She laughed. “Did I do that?”
“You did,” he confirmed. “And I’d like to know why.”
“Oh, I guess because I’m…cautious.” She wanted to say terrified and broken, but cautious sounded so much more together.
He laughed softly. “I know. You’re also organized, disciplined, focused, and…about as tender as this arm. Press too hard and it hurts.”
She wasn’t quite sure what he meant, but he knew she’d been through…something. He just didn’t know what.
“I’m not usually tender. I mean…I wasn’t. Then…” She huffed out a breath. “Then I did something that wasn’t cautious or smart, and I got hurt and I almost died.”
“What?” He blinked at her. “What happened? Were you in an accident?”
“If that’s what you want to call a brief, brief fling with the wrong man.”
His eyes flashed. “And you almost died? What did he—”
She put a light hand on his arm, hating the sting of tears that threatened at the protectiveness that bubbled under his surface. It was endearing and made this even harder to share.
But if he really had been “trolling for time with the girl who never stops working” then he should know that girl had…baggage.
“Didn’t your father tell you what happened?” she asked, hoping she could give a very glossed-over account because he already knew about the ectopic pregnancy.
He shook his head. “No. He’s a cop and respects privacy.”
“That’s fair.” She let her hand drop and it brushed his—the good one. Good enough that he clasped her fingers and gave a comforting squeeze.
“Tell me,” he said. “You can trust me.”
She knew she could. That was the terrifying part—she actually trusted him, in a way she hadn’t thought she’d be able to again.
“Well, it was, like I said, very brief. Very…” She didn’t know how to describe the chemistry with Trevor, or the casualness of their affair without sounding like the type of woman she didn’t want him to think she was.
But it had happened. And she should stick to facts, not feelings. “I, um, got pregnant.”
He looked startled. “How?”
That made her laugh. “The usual way.”
“No, I mean…you? I can’t believe you’d…”
“Yeah, me neither. So dumb. So careless. And by the time I found out, I had already decided it was a moment of madness and had kind of removed him from my life. But I had to tell him, of course, and then…I had the second bombshell dropped on me one Sunday morning.”
He stopped walking, listening and waiting.
“Turns out he had a wife in Chicago that he totally forgot to mention.” She winced, bracing for his reaction.
He swore softly under his breath.
“Yep. My response exactly.”
Frowning, he drew back. “What did you…never mind. None of my business.”
“No, no, it’s fine. I had an ectopic pregnancy that landed me in the ER for emergency surgery. No baby, tube saved, thank God. The real damage was to my pride. Also, I disappointed my dad, but he was utterly amazing despite my grand and glorious failure on so many levels it pains me to count them.”
“Bad judgment and an accident can happen to anyone.” He lifted his broken wrist. “I should have stayed in Gainesville for the Fourth of July and driven to the party with my dad.”
It wasn’t the same and they both knew it, but she liked that he tried to make her feel better.
“Afterward, I stayed here in Destin to, you know, heal. And help Dad with Lakeside.”
The heron fluttered and spread impressive wings, gliding off, giving up on the fake lake.
“Thank you for telling me,” Connor said finally. “Not easy, I’m sure.”
“I wanted you to understand why I’m…” She searched for the right word. “Careful.”
“Careful is smart. Careful is what kept you from making a bad decision in that meeting today when Vance was practically begging you to lose your composure.” He paused. “Closed off is different from careful, though.”
She looked at him, and he met her gaze steadily.
“I’m working on it,” she said.
“I know you are.” He turned to her, looking right into her eyes, his own so deep and dark and bottomless. “I’d like to help.”
“Well, you are my secretary, as you like to say.” She gave a soft laugh, trying to lighten the intensity before it made her dizzy.
But he didn’t laugh. He just kept looking at her. “It’s not a nice story, but if you thought it was going to make me run screaming into the retention pond, you’re wrong.”
“Connor…”
He leaned just close enough for her to think he might kiss her. But he only took a strand of her hair and tucked it behind her ear. “I don’t give up. Ever.”
She nodded. “I noticed. I like that about you.”
“Good, because I like just about everything about you,” he countered. “So…”
“So…” she echoed.
“I just want you to know that. And despite my parents’ divorce—maybe because of it—I’m kind of a hopeless romantic.”
Chills danced over her skin at the bold admission. He was relentless, fearless, protective, gorgeous, and romantic.
“So…now what?” he asked.
“Now…” She took a step back, lightheaded from the unexpected direction the conversation had taken. “I need time to…”
To think. To fantasize. To crush on him in private and not under the setting sun surrounded by birds and water and a few Dumpsters.
“To finish that clubhouse design,” she said, sliding her hands into her pockets before she did something really stupid and wrapped them around his broad shoulders. “Tonight. And you can’t stop me.”
“Wouldn’t try,” he said lightly, letting the moment pass. “In fact, I’m meeting my dad for dinner in…” He pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Ten minutes ago.”
“Oh, you better go. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep you so long.”
He just smiled. “Worth it. Don’t work too late, Mer.”
Work. As if she was going to get any of that done. “I won’t.”