3. Tobias
3
Tobias
“Just sayin’. You keep doing the same thing you did today in practice, and we will annihilate Sterling Prep.” Harry swung his arm around my neck, bringing me into his chest.
“Yeah, sure.” I smiled, pushing him off of me.
“You’re too modest. You heard coach, you’ve got to keep your head up. None of that pussy, shit.” Harry pointed at me as he hurried up to walk with a few of the guys in front of me.
I hated when he quoted my dad at me. My dad was awful, and I didn’t need constant reminders of him even when he wasn’t around.
Tonight, he insisted that I go out with the team. He said it was important to “boost morale.” Whatever the fuck that meant. I think he just wanted the house to himself so he could get black-out drunk. Looks like I’ll be sneaking into my room tonight. A heavy breath slipped from my lips, drained and defeated.
“Hey, you good?” My one friend Logan caught up to me. He was one of the only decent guys on the team. I’ve been friends with him since the beginning of high school. He was funny and didn’t make offensive jokes compared to the others, who were constant. Logan may not be bad, but he’s a package deal with the rest of them. Truthfully, I’m counting down the days until graduation, so I have a reason not to see any of them ever again.
“Yeah, I just didn’t want to go to this restaurant tonight,” I muttered.
“You never want to go to The Pizza Junction. Do you have something against pizza?” He laughed, nudging me on the shoulder.
I smiled awkwardly. Who doesn’t love pizza? “Nah, I just…you know what? It’s fine. Let’s just do this.” I stuffed my hands in my pants pockets. There was no explanation of how anxious I felt or why that was.
“Careful, your excitement’s overwhelming,” Logan teased, snorting. We rounded the corner and headed to the restaurant. I couldn’t help but feel uneasy.
If there’s a chance of seeing Elijah, I’m always a little bit—nervous. Excited? No, nervous.
It’s just I spent so much time with him growing up. No one on this planet knows more about me than him. Now, imagine not talking to that person after they know everything about you. You’d feel vulnerable…naked… exposed. That’s how he makes me feel.
I’m usually uncomfortable being the center of attention, but the way Elijah makes me feel is the opposite. When he’s around, I feel like the spotlight is on me. I constantly catch him watching me at school, and while most people may find it uncomfortable…I find it strangely…comforting. I shook my head to clear the thoughts away. Spiraling like this was only making my nerves worse.
We finally arrived at the restaurant, and I took in a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. This was it.
Walking in, I immediately noticed that the restaurant looked amazing. I haven’t been here in years, so all the changes they’ve made were noticeable. I took a moment to examine all the black and red leather booths lining the restaurant walls along the windows. I loved all the wooden tables, dimmed lights to give it a cozy feel, and neon signs on the wall. This place looked so cool.
That’s when my eyes locked on the one and only. Elijah sat there staring right back at me from a booth near us.
“Hey, come on. Let’s sit over here.” Harry called out, leading the way. He guided our team players to the restaurant's center and started shuffling tables to connect. I felt uncomfortable that they were just going at it as they pleased without asking for permission.
“Shouldn’t we ask to do this?” I whispered in Logan's ear.
“Man, all I know is that I’m starving. Let’s eat.” Logan smiled, patting me on the back. He sat at the table and pulled out a chair for me to sit beside him.
I swallowed harshly, looking around me. Elijah was gone somewhere else, so we may be in the clear. Taking a seat, I got comfortable in the middle of Logan and another teammate.
“This place has the best pizzas. You’ll like it, I promise.” Harry smiled.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Of course, I already knew that. I grew up with Elijah’s dad. If anyone knew how amazing of a chef he was, it’s me.
I bit my tongue, though. I didn’t want him to think I was close to Elijah.
WHAM!
A menu smacked down in front of me as though he heard my thoughts. I looked behind me to see his chiseled face staring back down at me. “Oops, sorry.” He huffed before continuing to drop off his menus around the table.
I took in his appearance. He has filled out tremendously since school. Broad shoulders stretch his black plain t-shirt tucked into his straight dress pants. His little black apron rested neatly on his hips. But it’s his hair. I’ve always been such a fan of the way it’s styled. His soft dark brown strands always fell so effortlessly in front of his dark brows. I was always taught to keep my blonde hair combed and parted perfectly. With Elijah, it just looks like he rolls out of bed, and it’s always so perfect, much like his dad’s sandy blonde hair that acts the same. I’ve always wanted to look like them, like I belonged with them.
“Yo, Loser. I didn’t realize you worked here. I would’ve come in and bothered you way more often.” Harry laughed, igniting laughter from everyone at the table.
I felt the weight of his words press against my chest. I knew this was a bad idea. Would it be obvious if I left?
“If you wouldn’t mind - you’re all my last table. If you could order, I’d really appreciate it.” Elijah stated plainly. He looked bored and annoyed, and I didn’t blame him. I’d hate this if it were my last table.
“If you could order, I’d really appreciate it.” Harry mimicked.
“Guys, come on, cut it out. ” Woah, was that my voice? What just happened? I looked around the table, and everyone stared at me, shocked. I looked back at Elijah, who was looking at me too. Only he was looking at me expressionless, like a blank canvas.
“Oh, no. It seems we’ve made Toby-woby upset by picking on his boyfriend. Toby, do you not want us to pick on your whittle boyfriend?” Harry pouted. Now, this got the table going. Everyone started laughing and nudging each other at my expense. Suddenly, I could feel my cheeks burn, and my heart began to beat too fast.
I looked down at my hands. How’d they know so quickly?
Know what?
What was I thinking speaking up for him? I should’ve known this was going to happen.
They know. They all know.
“Like I would ever fuck one of you douchebags. I would never stoop so low.” Elijah's voice broke through the chatter. Everyone snickered to each other, but it seemed like that settled the table down.
I breathed slowly and let this dip in attention give me a break to catch my breath.
Elijah walked around the table, getting everyone's orders, and I waited patiently until Elijah got to me.
“What can I get for you?” His smooth voice settled my nerves. I looked up at him and met his eyes.
“Elijah, I-”
“What can I get for you? The kitchen is closing, and I’d love to get this order in.” He rushed out.
I bit my lower lip and inhaled, preparing to answer. “I-”
“Pepperoni pizza with extra pepp it is.” He snapped his notebook shut and walked away.
I sat there with my mouth hanging open. How’d he remember that?
***
Everyone's pizza came out perfectly cooked, especially mine. He remembered it was my favorite order, and he wasn’t wrong.
I was starving since we hadn’t eaten after practice, so I eagerly devoured my pizza. Logan talked my ear off about the newest COD, and I happily listened while I ate. It was time to head home, and everyone paid with cash after Elijah dished out our bills. I don’t know why, but I made sure to leave a hefty tip. I mean, why wouldn’t I?
“Come on, everyone's going back to Harry’s place for beer pong,” Logan said, passing me.
“I’m actually going to head home. I’m beat after all of that pizza.” I said, patting my stomach.
“Yeah, you really put that away. I don’t know where it all goes.”
“To my dick.” I winked.
“So I’ve heard.” He laughed. “Night, man.”
I watched as everyone exited the door, and I purposely lingered behind them. I felt a pull to say bye to Elijah before I left.
I turned around and walked toward the kitchen. I was shocked to hear music bumping from behind the kitchen doors.
By the sounds of it, Too Experienced by Barrington Levy was playing on full-blast on some sort of speaker.
I pushed open the doors quietly, and my eyes widened to see Elijah's Dad dancing to the beat while lip-syncing with the broom as he swept. Elijah was laughing away, sleeves rolled up, elbows deep, cleaning out the stone oven.
They both looked so happy, singing and bobbing their heads to the music. I couldn’t help but smile and bob my head to the beat, too. They had such a good vibe, and I forgot how much I missed being around this type of carefree energy.
That’s when the swinging doors to the kitchen slammed shut behind me. I turned around but didn’t catch them in time.
The music stopped abruptly, and I felt my heart drop.
“Tobias?” Mr. Thorne asked behind me.
“Mr. Thorne.” I faltered, turning slowly back around.
Elijah's smile dropped at the sight of me. I focused back on his dad, who had dropped the broom he held in his hands and rushed over to me, immediately holding me close in his arms.
“Oh my god.” He laughed into my hair. He grabbed my face to look me over. “I haven’t seen you in…too long. H–How’ve you been?” He asked, his eyes darting around my face with excitement.
I could feel my face turning red. “I’ve been good. It’s nice to see you.” I said, grabbing back onto his arms. A rush of emotion hit me. He was like my second dad all those years. All my happy memories were made at his house growing up. It pains me that I haven’t seen him in so long.
“Elijah tells me you’ve been so busy with football, school, girls.” He laughs, nudging me in the side. “But, he keeps me up to date with all your sports stats and lets me know how your games go in great detail.” He smiled, looking at his boy.
“Dad! Stop–” Elijah cuts in. “No, I don’t.”
“What are you talking about? In your last game against Cornwall, you scored a touchdown in the last 10 seconds, WOW!” He clasped his hands together.
“Dad!” Elijah yelled.
“I’m so proud of you.” Mr. Thorne sighed, placing his hand on my shoulder. Having those words be directed at me for a change felt so good. I tuned back into what he was saying. Elijah updates him often on me as if we’re still friends. Why?
“I uh–” I started.
“You must have a busy night ahead of you. I better let you run.” Mr. Thorne smiled before walking back to his fallen broom. “Hey,” He said. “It was nice of you to stop by. You should come by more often.” He smiled.
“I’ve got to take out the trash.” Elijah huffed, walking towards the back door of the kitchen.
“Let me get that for you,” I said, walking after him.
“Nah, it’s okay. I got it.” He muttered, pushing against the door.
“You definitely don’t have it.” I laughed at him, struggling to open the door and carry the heavy bag.
I shifted around him and opened the door, allowing him to swing the trash outside and into the green bin. It smelled awful out here.
But we were alone, which is what I subconsciously wanted.
“Listen, I-” I started.
“I only tell him about your games because he’d hate to know we don’t talk anymore.” Elijah cut in.
That took me by surprise. “Would he care?”
“Would he care?” Elijah scoffed. “It’d break his heart. You were like a son to him.” He looked down at his feet and folded his arms against his chest.
“So…why don’t we…you know, talk?” I stammered.
“Are you kidding me? You want to have this conversation now? After four years of high school, you wonder why now?” He bit.
“You know what? Never mind.” I shook my head. This was clearly a waste of time. I sidestep around him to pass him towards the street. This is exactly why we’ve never gotten anywhere. Elijah is a pain to talk to; it obviously hasn’t changed.
“Why do you hang out with those guys?” He blurted after me.
I turned around. “I don’t know. I–”
“You don’t know? You don’t know why you’re friends with the worst people?”
“They’re not all bad. I guess. I…I don’t know.” I bit my lip and looked down.
“You broke your promise to me. That’s why we don’t talk anymore.” He breathed.
“My promise?” My cheeks ran hot at the mention of that night. I knew exactly what he was referring to.
“Yeah…your promise. You promised me we’d always be friends, and the moment we got to high school and you met ‘the cool crowd,’ you dropped me like a fly.” He shook his head.
My stomach dropped. “I didn’t mean to. It was…my dad. He put a lot of pressure on me to look a certain part. To hang out with certain people.”
“Oh, right. How could I forget? Nothing is ever your fault or your own decisions. I’m so stupid.” He turned around to head towards the door.
“You broke your promise to me too, you know,” I called out.
“Except I didn’t. I wasn’t the one to leave you .” He opened the door and stormed inside, leaving me in the cold. Alone.