7. Tobias
7
Tobias
This has got to be the worst summer of my life.
Growing up with Derrick Voss as a father was already a living hell. But at least between school, football, and friends, I had a little peace from him.
During the summer, I have nothing. Football had finished since graduation, and since I had no scholarship, there was no summer practice. None of my 'friends' talked to me after what happened at the art showcase—and the whole smashing Harry’s phone thing. To top it all off, I didn’t get into any of the schools I applied to. Just like Derrick said I wouldn’t.
He was right. I have nothing. I am nothing. I’m stuck at home with him and have nothing to live for.
I have no one.
I sat in my car in the parking lot of my favorite park, the one by the river that winds through town and eventually flows into one of the Great Lakes. It’s pretty here. Park benches line the water, and people come and go with their pets, friends, and family. It’s peaceful here.
I’ve been sleeping in my car as often as possible to avoid my father. I have to be careful not to get caught by police, so I wake up early enough to drive around town.
I can’t stay home. Derrick has been extra bad lately. He’s been so angry with me after he learned about what I did to Harry’s phone, that it’s been giving him all the more reason to drink day and night. When slamming things around the house isn’t enough for him, he chooses me as his next target.
I wish I could say it was the physical pain that was the worst part. Truthfully, it’s the evil words dripping in contempt and disgust that he flings at me.
You’re stuck with me now, kid. There’s no escaping this.
You’re no good. You’re soiled. Rotten. No one is going to love you as pathetic and worthless as you are.
I fucked up with you. You’re the biggest fuckup I’ve ever made in my life.
I’ll teach you, though. I’ll fix this wrong. I’ll make you tough.
Calling me the worst names and forcing me to…
Bad boys need to be punished.
I squeezed my eyes shut, stopping myself from flinching out of habit. My lack of sleep and food had made me delirious.
I’ve been showering at the school's gym and sneaking into the house for a change of clothes whenever I see Derrick's car gone, but it’s been tough.
I just don’t know what to do. I can’t keep this up forever, and I have no job. He made sure of that. Throughout high school, he went out of his way to tell all the local businesses how “busy” I was working for him and focusing on my studies. No one would hire me if they wanted to stay on his good side. Well, it’s no surprise that the little money he gave me is almost gone. He’s already cut off my credit card, and now I’m running out of options. Soon, I’ll have to go home and face him.
What if he hurts me badly next time?
What if I can’t walk away the same way?
Ask for help.
No. I shook the thought away from my head. I’ve already tried that once.
Back when I was young, I asked my teacher if it was normal that my dad spanked me when I did nothing wrong. She cried when she saw the bruises on my back, and that landed a visit from CPS. Of course, because my dad was a cop at the time, he knew exactly what to say to get the blame put on me. I never heard or saw from CPS again.
I thought they’d help me. But instead, they didn’t believe me, and I wound up worse off than before.
He didn’t feed me after that for a few days and locked me in my room without any food or water.
I begged to be let out. I soiled myself, which resulted in me throwing up what little I had left in my stomach from the smell.
I was cold, dirty, and tired. I felt alone and wondered why he didn’t love me like other daddies did.
Like Elijah’s dad did.
I wrapped my arms around my body. I sniffled as tears dripped down my cheeks. I remember the way Mr. Thorne and Elijah would care for me. The way they’d hold me and make me feel loved. Why didn’t my own dad love me the same way?
What did I do to deserve this? Why couldn’t I just be the son he wanted? Why’d I have to be so bad?
I gripped the back of my hair and yanked on it as hard as possible.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why couldn’t I just be better?
I looked at the waterfront. Would anyone care if I just disappeared? Maybe it’d be better if I just…
Suddenly, there was a knock at my car door window.
I quickly lowered the glass once I saw who it was.
“Tobias? What’s going on? Why are you here?”
I focused my eyes on the two individuals standing in front of me. Mr. Thorne and a beautiful woman looked at me as though I were a broken baby bird.
I had no energy to say anything, so I just stared back at them.
“Oh, Jesus.” Mr. Thorne quickly opened my car door, catching me as I limply fell into his arms. “Gwen, hop in the front seat and take over. We’re taking him home.” I heard him say.
“No. Not home. Please, no.” I groaned, struggling to push him off.
“To my house, Tobias. You’re coming to my home.” He whispered in my ear. I felt my body relax in his arms.
I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I was going home.
***
I woke up feeling more rested than I had in what felt like forever.
I opened my eyes to unfamiliar yet familiar walls. I was in Elijah’s room. I sat up quickly. I recognized the scent of his dark forest green bed sheets. Warm and homey with a smell of pine, laundry detergent, and something uniquely Elijah. I looked around the bright room. Scary movie posters decorated the walls from films like Donnie Darko to Psycho. He was always such a horror movie fanatic.
Various cameras decorated his dresser across the room, each a relic of a different era. What caught my attention most, though, were the plants. They filled the space, draping from shelves and hanging baskets in the corners. Their lush greenery and cascading vines made the room feel like a rainforest, alive and vibrant.
I breathed in a sharp breath of air. I was in Elijah’s room.
I jumped out of bed. He was going to kill me. Before I could get too far, I quickly realized I was wearing nothing but boxers. Someone must’ve changed me out of my dirty clothes.
Suddenly, the bedroom door opened to reveal Mr. Thorne with a tray of what looked like two poached eggs over toast, orange juice, and a bowl of freshly cut grapefruit.
I dashed back to the bed and pulled off the beige blanket that hung off the edge. Wrapping it around my body, I sat back down on the bed.
“Gwen put this together for you.” He smiled, lifting the tray in his hand. “We thought you may want to eat something before you shower.” He said, setting it down on the bed in front of me.
I inhaled deeply, taking in all the smells. My mouth watered almost instantly, and I imagined how good it would taste.
“Go ahead. It’s all yours.” He smiled, tilting his head and watching me. I must look like a scared deer.
Breathing deeply, I picked up the tray and positioned it on my lap. I immediately dove straight into the food, feeling a rush of life burst back into me.
The warm bread tasted wonderful in my mouth. I dipped the bread in the eggs and tried my hardest not to moan at how delicious everything was.
“Slow down; you’re going to hurt yourself.” Mr. Thorne laughed even though I could hear a twinge of concern in his voice.
I stopped eating and looked at him in his eyes.
“Elijah…” I muttered. He was going to hate the fact that I was here. “I better go…” I said sadly, dropping my bread on the plate.
“Elijah already left for school a few days ago. Early admission.” Mr. Thorne shrugged, looking down at his feet. Clearly, he wasn’t too pleased about that. As much as I’m sure he was proud of Elijah for getting into one of the best art schools in the country, I’m sure he’s heartbroken he’s gone.
I slowly nodded my head, picking the piece of bread back up.
“Tobias…” Mr. Thorne sat down in front of me on the bed. “What happened to you out there?” Mr. Throne asked.
I had a mouth full, which I was pretty thankful for. How was I supposed to tell him my dad was an awful man who hated my guts and who had punished me all my life for being alive?
I’m a coward for not getting away sooner. Elijah is right.
“Okay, at least explain the cuts and bruises over your body. Did someone do that to you? Are you in some sort of trouble?” He looked at me concerned. I felt a rush of warmth in my body. Knowing someone cared about me in this world…
“I should call your dad to let him know you’re here—-“ He shifted to leave the bed.
I reached out quickly, holding tightly to his arm and shaking my head. I accidentally tipped the orange juice over, spilling it all over my tray.
“Oh Jesus, one second.” Mr. Thorne jumped off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom connected to Elijah’s room. He returned quickly, patting the tray dry with a towel.
“I shouldn’t be here. I should go.” I muttered. I stood up, lifted the tray off my lap, and sat it on the dresser.
“No. No, let’s start over. Okay?” Mr. Thorne lightly rested his hand on my back.
I looked at him through the mirror on top of Elijah’s dresser. He looked so scared for me.
To be fair, I did look rough. Cuts and bruises pierced my lip and my jawline. I had dark bags under my eyes from not sleeping properly, and my hair was slick and sticky from not showering in a few days.
I also noticed the bruising all over my ribs, which didn’t look much better than they felt.
“Please don’t call him.” I pleaded softly. “Please don’t make me say it.”
Mr. Thorne got the message. His back straightened up, and he looked angry.
“I’ll kill him. If he ever lays another hand on you… I’ll kill him.” Mr. Thorne said in a hushed voice.
My heart felt like it would burst just thinking of them in an altercation. “He’ll kill you first.” My voice cracked. I lowered my head down and couldn’t help the tears falling from my eyes.
“That’s it. You’re staying here.” Mr. Thorne walked over to the bed and angrily took off the sheets.
“No, I couldn’t do that to you. I can’t impose on you like that.” I panicked.
“You stop that.” He cut me off. “You’re not imposing. You have been and always will be my boy. You hear me? You’ll always be a son to me. No one messes with my boys.” He grunted,
scrunching up all the sheets in a ball in his arms. “You’re going to stay here with me. You’ll help me maintain the house, and you’ve got a job at the restaurant starting now that’ll keep you busy, paid, and out of trouble.” He nodded.
Honestly, that sounded amazing. But–.
“Elijah…” I shook my head.
Mr. Thorne held up his hand. “Elijah doesn’t have to know. I don’t know what’s going on with you boys, but… if not telling him will get you to stay here… well, I guess we won’t tell him. At least not yet.” He shrugged.
“I can’t ask you to do that for me. I can’t ask you to lie to him.” I tugged at the hair at the back of my neck.
He walked over to me and removed my hand from my hair, holding it tightly. “You’re not asking. I’m telling you, that’s what’s going to happen. You understand?” He looked at me in my eyes so deeply.
I gulped, taking in his words. “Okay,” I answered.
“Good.” He dropped my hand. “Now finish eating and go take a shower. We’ve got a busy day of pickups for the restaurant ahead of us.” He winked.
I smiled at him and nodded. “Thanks, Mr. Thorne. For everything”.
“It’s Jude to you.” He smiled before closing the door behind him.
***
It took me a few days to finally feel comfortable in the house, but once I did, things were fantastic.
Summer was over, and school had officially started for the kids, but the restaurant was still as busy as ever.
Jude allowed me to work as a server in the evenings, which was an adjustment initially. However, after learning the menu and getting used to chatting with guests, the job was easy, and the tips felt good.
I’ve never had a job, so earning wages for myself felt terrific. I already decided to save as much money as possible to pay Jude back for everything he’s given me. Honestly, no amount of money could repay him and Gwen for being there for me, but it was a start.
My favorite part of the job was going for runs with Jude, though. He owned a big black GMC truck, and we often had to pick up beers from the beer store or make food runs when we ran out of certain items. Jude would roll down the windows, blast tunes, and just sing and dance in the driver's seat, which was hilarious. At first, it was a little awkward because I thought he wanted me to join in, but I quickly realized he wasn’t doing it for that. He was just a happy guy who enjoyed singing and dancing.
I loved being around him, and the best part was that I think he enjoyed being around me, too.
***
“You are just sweet as pie.” An older lady patted my hand after handing me a twenty-dollar bill for a tip.
“Thank you, Ma’am.” I smiled back before turning around and heading to the bar.
“Oh, Debra, did you see his smile? He’s so handsome!” I heard her whisper behind me.
I couldn’t help but smile. As a server, I receive many compliments these days, which is a perk of this job. I’ve never had such constant reassurance before.
It’s not that I didn’t know I was relatively good-looking. The girls at school often flirted or tried grabbing my attention, and the teachers were usually nicer to me than my classmates. However, it was just hard to tell myself that I was since my dad was constantly shooting me down.
“Another twenty? You are on a roll tonight.” Claire chimed in behind me as I stuffed my twenty in my apron.
“Yeah, it looks like it.” I laughed. “What about you? I saw that table over there laughing and smiling at everything you said.” I nodded my head in the direction of her table of all guys. I swear, this girl attracts men in groups.
She looked over her shoulder. “Yeah, well… wait, were you watching me?” She asked, looking back at me.
I gulped. I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I guess she’s a pretty girl. And she’s really, really lovely. Since starting here, she’s been kind and welcoming to me.
“Yeah, I guess I was.” I smiled.
“Well…good. I’m glad you were.” She smiled softly, looking down at my lips.
I bit my lip instinctively. I liked the attention; I really did. But truthfully, with everything going on in my life - dating hasn’t even crossed my mind. Like, ever.
“We should get together sometime. You know, hang out.” She smiled.
I gulped. “Aren’t you seeing Tommy?”
She rolled her eyes, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear. “Tommy turned out to be an asshole. He was texting other girls behind my back.”
I wasn’t surprised. “Sorry to hear that. Those dudes aren’t the nicest, honestly.”
She looked me over. “Where do you fall in that?”
I opened my mouth to answer. Honestly, I wasn’t sure.
Thankfully, I was saved by Gwen's entrance into the bar.
“Hey, kid.” She smiled at me, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. She always smelled so good and looked like an angel with gorgeous, long golden hair.
Her orange and yellow flower-patterned dress looked beautiful on her body, especially how it hugged all her curves.
“Woah, look at you. You look beautiful. Are you going somewhere special tonight?” I said, giving her a once-over.
She swatted my arm. “Oh, stop it, you. This old thing?” She turned around to show off the back of her dress, cut open to reveal her bare back. I was stunned. “Do you think he’ll like it?” She looked at me and Claire.
“Like it? I’m afraid it won’t last too long on your body.” Claire admired. I nudged her in the arm, which made Gwen laugh.
“Good!” She beamed, clapping her hands excitedly.
Out from the kitchen doors burst a well-dressed, groomed Jude Thorne. His sandy blonde hair was pushed back out of his face (but not enough to hold back his signature little strands falling into his eyes just like Elijah’s always does), and his beard was trimmed and cut clean. Dressed in a dark navy suit, he looked dashing.
“Woah, you look magnificent.” He breathed, stepping out and into the dining room. “I was supposed to come and pick you up.” He said, grabbing a hold of Gwen and burying his face into her neck.
“I just couldn’t wait.” She giggled, throwing her head back. Jude grabbed a hold of her waist, pulling her in for a long, seductive kiss.
I felt my cheeks burn as I looked away. They were so good together, and seeing Jude happy was so nice. He deserved a love like this. He’s such a good man.
Breaking me out of my thoughts, Jude interrupted by asking, “Tobias, how many tables have you got left?”
I looked around at the dining room. “Zero, right now.” It was a weeknight, so we closed earlier than on weekends. It was only 9 o'clock, so we’d be closing up soon.
“Perfect, go get dressed. Your clothes are in the back.”
My eyes widened. “What?”
Jude and Gwen looked over at me, smiling. “You didn’t think we’d do nothing for your birthday, did you?”
My heart dropped. They remembered it was my birthday. How’d they know?
I remembered all the times Jude and Elijah would make my birthday memorable as a kid since my father never bothered to try.
Of course, he remembered.
I walked through the kitchen doors only to be greeted by cheers and streamers thrown in my face. The whole wait staff, hostesses, and kitchen crew were all waiting there to sing Happy Birthday to me.
Claire approached me with one of our birthday cupcakes on the menu. Decorated with whipped cream, she happily smooshed it on my nose. I couldn’t help but laugh as I tried licking my face clean.
“Okay, you. I’ve got a suit and tie in the back ready for you. You’re officially nineteen today, so we’re off to the Casino tonight!” Jude celebrated.
“Oh dear god, good luck!” Claire shook her head, smiling and patting me on the shoulder.
“Happy birthday!” Everyone cheered again.
“Thanks, guys. Thanks so much.” I smiled.