33. Elijah
33
Elijah
“Holy fucking shit. You just threw your dad out on his ass.” I exhaled, running my hands through my hair. The adrenaline from watching Tobias own Derrick’s ass was coursing through me. I wanted to jump in, but I knew that was something he needed to do by himself. And I’m so fucking proud.
Tobias walked into the house after me. “I did.” He agreed.
I turned around and placed my hands on his shoulders. “Tobias. I’m so damn proud of you. I can’t imagine how tough that was, but he couldn’t just walk away scott-free. Not again. Not after what he did to dad and not after what he did to you.” I tried to assure him.
My heart was beating so fast, but the only thing on my mind was comforting Tobias.
“I thought I was going to have to kill him. I was mentally ready.” I panted, staring into his eyes.
He looked at me nervously. “I…” He looked down at his hands. They looked red and bruised, and it broke my heart to see that they were shaking.
I grabbed a hold of his uninjured hand and held on tight, looking straight into his eyes. “He will never touch you ever again. You made that very clear tonight. You have nothing to feel bad about right now. You are so brave, Tobias.” I looked into his eyes. “You didn’t just stand up for yourself tonight. You saved me too, Tobias.” I panted. Excitement was quickly turning to lust as I looked down at his puffy, bruised lips. “My savior,” I said, hardly above a whisper.
His eyes fluttered closed as I leaned in to press his lips to mine.
Jolting us back into reality, the front door suddenly opened. My heart dropped into my stomach, but I quickly calmed down as soon as I saw dad and Gwen walk through.
“Oh, perfect. It’s you guys.” I exhaled, dropping my shoulders.
Dad looked at me confused but proceeded to take off his shoes.
“I made ramen for you guys if you want to eat something.” Tobias breathed, pointing behind him to the kitchen.
“Yeah, we’ve got to tell you what just—”
I took in my dad’s face as he got closer. He looked pale and afraid, as though he was tormented with something. His shoulders were slumped, and his gaze kept darting around, not focusing on us. He looked like he was trying to hold something back but couldn’t hide it. He ran his hands down his pants as he stepped closer into the hallway to meet us.
Gwen looked no better. Her eyes were rimmed red, and her hands were rubbing up and down her arms to keep herself warm.
Dad stepped up to us and finally looked up to meet our eyes.
“I-um-” He gulped. “I have to talk to you two first. It’s…important.” He stammered.
***
Tobias and I sat beside each other, across from dad and Gwen, at the dinner table.
I seriously had no clue what this could possibly be about. Did dad know about Tobias and me? Did he find out, and now he’s going to ban us from seeing each other? Or did something happen at the restaurant? Were we in financial trouble?
My mind racked all the possibilities, but nothing could compare to what slipped out of his mouth next.
Gwen grabbed a hold of his hand as dad processed his words.
“I have cancer.” He said.
My eyes widened, and my mouth went slack. Huh?
“I have prostate cancer. And it’s pretty advanced. I caught it way too far, and um—” He gulped. “I found out today I don’t have that much time—”
“What are you talking about?” I spat.
“Elijah,” Tobias’s strained voice in my ear.
“No. I’m just confused.” I huffed, looking back and forth between Gwen and dad. “This has got to be some sort of joke. Or, the doctors are wrong or something.” I shook my head. “How could everything just be fine, and now you have cancer? No.” A sharp screeching sound echoed through the room as I backed up my chair from the table.
Dad closed his eyes before slowly opening them again. “Elijah…”
“No. When did you know?” I asked. My heart was beating out of my chest.
“W-When I got into that fight with Derrick Voss…I went to the hospital, where they checked me out. They said something weird came up in my blood when they did a blood test. A few weeks later, it came back that they wanted to check me out for cancer. I found out a few weeks before I booked this holiday off.”
“So, you knew this whole time that you were walking around with cancer, and we had no clue.” I huffed.
“Is that why you and Gwen were arguing that day in the restaurant?” Tobias spoke up.
I whipped my head in his direction. Pressure is building up behind my eyes.
“I had just told Gwen about my diagnosis and how I didn’t think it was right for us to be together. It wasn’t going to get easier, and I didn’t want to subject her to it. I was obviously wrong in choosing for her. That was her decision, and she chose to stay with me–”
“You knew?” I asked, looking over at Tobias. He looked back at me, confused, tears in his eyes.
“What?” He breathed.
“You knew that something was wrong, and you didn’t say anything.” I swallowed. How could he?
“Elijah, come on. I had no clue this was happening.” Tobias exhaled, voice trembling with concern.
“Elijah, don’t be like this. Tobias didn’t know what was going on.” Dad added.
“Yeah, but he knew something was wrong. He knew and didn’t tell me, just like you two knew and didn’t tell me.” I bit, pointing to the both of them staring back at me. I stood up from my chair. “I could have done something. I could’ve been better. I could’ve been there for you more. I would’ve been nicer. I-” I felt my brain going into overdrive. I needed a moment.
“I gotta go,” I said, rushing out of the room.
“Elijah–” Tobias called out, chasing after me.
I didn’t want him to see me like this. I didn’t want him around at all. How could he not tell me?
“No! Stay away from me.” I yelled, slamming the back door behind me. I ran out towards the dock.
“Elijah, don’t do this.” Tobias stammered.
“If I weren’t so wrapped up in you all summer long, maybe I would’ve known earlier. Maybe I would’ve figured it out.” I cried.
“You can’t think that way. That’s not fair. How could we have known?” Tobias called out.
“Just leave me alone! Don’t fucking come near me.” I spat.
In a flash, Tobias ran over to me from behind, turning in front of me to block me from walking any farther.
“No, you’re not doing this. You’re not doing this again.” He said, grabbing a hold of my arms.
This was so frustrating! Why couldn’t he just let me be?!
“You’re not going to shut me out again. You’re not going to turn your back on me or your dad. He deserves better than that. There’s no running away from hard things this time.” He said, stopping me. There was no escaping his hold. Tobias was bigger and stronger than me. And I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was determined to have me hear him out.
“You’re scared. I get it. I’m scared too. But so is your dad. Your dad is probably ten times more scared than the both of us combined. So it’s time for you to suck it up and be a big boy because he’s going to need us right now.” Tobias panted. I felt hot pressure build up behind my eyes.
I tried moving away again, but there was no budging this time.
“Let me go.” I pleaded. The tears have now spilled over, and I feel nothing but defeat.
“No. Never. I’m never going to let you go. Not again, Elijah. You push people away when things get too hard, but not this time. You’re in too deep with me. I’m in love with you, and there’s no way either of us are going to get through this without each other.” I could tell he was holding his tears back, too. His voice was all shaky and strained.
My eyebrows furrowed as I wiped my tears away from my face with the back of my arm.
He stepped closer to me, moving his hands from my arms to holding my face in his palms.
“He’s going to need you, Elijah. I’m going to need you. Please.” Tobias's voice cracked as he pleaded. That sound broke my heart. Taking a closer look, I could tell that his eyes were rimmed red and his chest rising and falling quickly. Shit, fuck! He was scared.
“Shit, Tobias, I’m so fucking sorry.” I quickly wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him in. He buried his face into the crook of my neck.
“I’m not going to leave you, Tobias. We’ll get through this. All of us. As a family.” I sniffled, holding him close, rocking us side to side.
I realized now that he may not have ever had anyone hold him like this, so I squeezed him even tighter and planted a few soft kisses on his temple.
Hearing a little shuffle in the grass behind us, I turned around to see my dad standing there, watching us.
I gasped.
“Dad. I-”
“H-How long has this been…” He looked between the two of us, soaked in each other's tears.
I looked at Tobias, who looked at me with caring eyes.
“I guess…since forever, really.” I shrugged, wiping the tears falling from my eyes. I sniffled, looking back at my dad.
“Are you upset?” Tobias' voice quivered.
“What?” Dad looked shocked, stepping closer. “No, of course not. I-I’m just…you two are serious? Because we’re a family, so if you do this…you better be serious about it. That’s all.” He gave us a half smile.
I nodded my head slowly, looking back at Tobias, who placed his hand softly on my lower back.
“I’m serious.” Tobias smiled softly with tears in his eyes. “I love him. A lot.”
I closed my eyes to soak in his words. I needed to hear that way more than I thought I did. Especially right now. “I love him, dad.” I nodded, looking back at my dad. “It’s serious.”
I swallowed back my tears.
“Then, come here. The both of you. Let me hold you.” Dad choked out.
We both rushed over like little kids. I felt so small as dad held on to us both tightly. We both cried in his arms for what felt like forever.
“We’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.” Dad repeated softly in our ears.