37. Elijah
37
Elijah
Dad’s health has been declining faster than we initially thought it would. Over the span of the next few months, his weight loss has been more substantial.
He hasn’t been taking down any food as much as we’ve tried, and when he does, he gets sick. He hasn’t been able to help with the renovations at all due to his sore muscles and pain in his bones. He’s been so tired. So, so tired.
I’ve been spending a lot of nights sleeping at the bottom of his bed. I remember doing it when I was a little kid and scared. And right now, I’ve never been more terrified.
I held his hand one night as he lay there resting. Tobias was at the restaurant, working day and night. He’s been such a rock. Taking care of everything there and then coming home at night and taking care of us. I’ve been dad’s primary caretaker since returning home, which has been emotionally and physically challenging. I couldn’t do this without Tobias. I don’t even want to imagine what this would’ve been like if he wasn’t here.
“Dad…” I sniffled.
“Yes?” He answered, shifting slightly. Apparently, this movement hurt him, so I quickly reached for the pill bottle the doctors gave us to give him whenever he had pain. I gave him a couple as instructed and handed him some water.
He took a long sip, swallowing the pills down. That even looked painful in itself.
“You know you’re the best dad in the whole world, right?” I asked, squeezing his hand.
He nodded his head slowly, looking me over. As soon as he saw the emotion spread across my face, his eyes started tearing up. I know I’m not supposed to scare him, but it’s hard when all I feel is fear.
He swallowed. “It’s easy when you have the best son. You’re my greatest accomplishment, Eli. I got so lucky with you.” He said, squeezing my hand back as hard as he could.
I shut my eyes and lay beside him for the rest of the night. The Office, his favorite show, is playing softly in the background.
***
“I know it’s hard, but…I think it’s time to take him in, Eli.” Gwen looked at me with tender, pained eyes. She had come upstairs after dropping off some groceries like she always does. They’re more for dad than they are for me. I can’t seem to keep anything down as much as he can.
I shook my head. “No, I can still do it. I’m okay. I’ll be better.” I struggled to say, a sob building in my throat.
“No, darling.” She quieted me down, holding onto my arms firmly. “It’s not about being better. You’ve been doing such a great job. You’ve been doing everything you could do.” She rubbed my arms up and down to soothe me.
She breathed in deeply. “But, at some points, there are things even you can’t do. It’s about giving him the appropriate care he needs at this stage. Giving him the right medication, changing him, moving him in bed. You can’t do all of that on your own. There are professionals that can do that for him, and you can still be there for him through it all.” She squeezed my arms.
I looked back at my dad. He’s been sleeping so much lately. I closed my eyes and turned back to her. I know she’s right. Deep down, I know it’s time to move him to palliative care.
“He just…he deserves so much more than this.” I cried, leaning my head on her shoulder.
“I know, baby. I know.” She rubbed my back as I sobbed.
***
Since dad was moving to palliative care in a couple of days, Tobias and I wanted to do one last thing for him before that time came.
I stayed up all night decorating the house before Tobias got home, and he was setting things up on his side, too.
Knowing he was working with me on this was giving me so much strength.
“Okay, dad, open your eyes,” I said, removing my hands from his eyes. A couple of weeks ago, we had moved him from his upstairs bedroom to the downstairs den, so setting up while watching him was quite easy.
Tobias stood behind him, pushing his wheelchair into the hallway of our house.
I decorated our family home with Christmas decorations from top to bottom. Christmas is Dad’s favorite holiday, so I knew I wanted him to see the house this way one last time before he had to leave it. It’s November, but who has to know, you know?
I tried my hardest to make the house look cozy and inviting, with our festive decorations filling every room he could see. Right in the middle of the living room was a huge Christmas tree decked with ornaments, glittering garlands, and twinkling lights, topped with a shining star.
I hung stockings off the bottom of the TV mantel (thank you, double-sided gorilla tape) and decorated every window with pine garlands and little red berries. Tiny lights were placed in every corner of the living room, bowls of pinecones and cranberries were on the coffee table, and a candle-lit centerpiece was in the kitchen.
Tobias took his time wheeling him from room to room, taking in the sights. Dad had his hands clasped in front of his mouth, choking back tears.
“Thank you, my boys. Thank you.” His voice was strained and hoarse.
“Merry Christmas, dad,” I said, kissing him on the cheek.
“Merry Christmas, dad,” Tobias said, bending down to do the same on the other side.
“Merry Christmas.” Dad nodded his head.
***
“Hey, darling.” Gwen ran over to dad, kissing him sweetly before guiding us to the palliative care van in our driveway.
We helped dad into the back with his wheelchair and some of his favorite belongings before hopping in with him. Tobias and I sorted out his blankets on his lap and put a nice warm hat over his head.
“We’ve got one stop,” Tobias said, nudging him on the shoulder.
“Where are we going?” Dad asked, looking at us all.
“You can’t have Christmas without a Christmas present.” I winked at him.
“Oh, you shouldn’t have! I didn’t get you anything.” Dad pouted.
“Yes, you have. More than we could ever repay you for.” Tobias smiled sweetly.
I looked at him, my heart swelling in my chest. I might’ve brought Tobias into our lives one fortunate day in the first grade, but it was truly dad who kept Tobias for the long haul. Without dad, would we have even talked ever again after high school?
“You’ve given us so much,” I said, squeezing his hand.
We were in the car for a few minutes before dad realized where we were going.
“Oh! Do I have to work today? I think I’m late.” He said, confused.
I looked at him, worried. The doctors had told us confusion and hallucinations may come into play. Tobias reached out, grabbing my hand to calm me down.
“Dad, we’ve got a surprise for you.” I smiled, rubbing his arm. It looked as though he came back to.
“Oh, right. Yes. I can’t wait to see my Christmas present.” He smiled back softly.
When we arrived at the restaurant, we filed out of the van. Tobias and I lifted dad out of the vehicle and helped him down the salted pathway to the restaurant doors.
“Wait, this isn’t The Pizza Junction.” He said, looking confused as to where he was.
“No, dad. This is ‘Jude’s Place.’” I smiled, walking after Gwen, who was standing in the doorway. Tobias pushed dad along, making our way through the new glass doors.
“Jude’s Place…Hey—That’s me!” Dad looked around the new, improved, and revamped restaurant.
Keeping the restaurant's integral idea in mind, we made it really pop. After Tobias fought and won with the insurance company, we were able to regain the money lost from the damage. Plus, he had looked at our finances, and we had some extra that we could spare for updates.
The red booths were redder, and the wooden tabletops were sleek, shiny, and black. We now had a cocktail side for night outs and a dining room side for families. There was even a section to the right dedicated to pool tables, dart boards, arcade machines, and a photo booth.
This old-school bar just got a massive overhaul, making it spring to life.
Tobias made this happen. He really managed it all by himself. He’ll say he had my help, but we all know who the mastermind behind this was.
I looked at him, teary-eyed. Of course, I had seen it before this reveal, but knowing how much Tobias had been working on it and finally getting to show it off to dad… was an incredible feeling.
“I…I love it…” Dad stammered. We all looked at him, tears in our eyes.
“You do?” Tobias’s voice wavered. This meant so much to him.
“Tobias. I’m so proud of you.” Dad said, tears rolling down his cheeks. Tobias leaned his forehead on him, and they both stayed like that for a while, crying and hugging.
“I’m so proud of you too. Thank you. Thank you so much, Elijah.” Dad said, pulling me into his side. I wrapped my arms around his and Tobias’s bodies.
“There’s a few more people that want to say goodbye before you head off to the hospital, Jude.” Gwen sniffled, walking to the corner to open up the swinging door to the kitchen.
Out rushed tens and tens of people from all over town, our local friends and family members, decked out with flowers, teddy bears, and cards in their hands, ready to say hello. Among them were Yasmin, the hostess, Claire, and Yari, tears streaming down their faces.
Dad covered his mouth, choking back sobs.
I squeezed his shoulder. “They’re all here to thank you, dad. For being such a wonderful person.” I sniffled.
“Thank you.” His lips quivered as he took them all in. “Thank you everyone, so much.” He called out.
“Thank you!” “We love you!” “You’re the best, Jude!” they shouted at once.
Dad lifted his hands to hold both Tobias’s and mine. “I love you, boys.” He said. “You guys are going to be okay.” He nodded, patting our hands.
“I love you, dad.”
“I love you so much, dad.” We answered at once.
***
Dad passed away that next morning.
It’s as though his body was waiting for us to say our goodbyes and for him to know that we’ll be okay. His heart was able to be put to rest, knowing that his boys were surrounded by love and were safe.
The best dad in the world.