Chapter 5 Present Day
CHAPTER 5
PRESENT DAY
July
The silence between Wes and me stretches for a heartbeat and an eternity as I reconcile this new, older Wes with the teenager I used to know. His wiry arms are thicker, his jaw sharper, his lips set in a line. Creases have crinkled the corner of his eyes, from squinting or smiling. Hopefully the latter. The fast-forward makes me breathless, as if I’m accelerating through a tunnel. There used to be long gaps between when we saw each other, but nothing like this.
He’s surveying me as intently, blue eyes narrowed, pinning me down, measuring me. I’m conscious of my straightened hair, the careful mascara on my lashes, the tightness the years have brought to my face. The quiet between us is unbearable in a way it never was before.
“I was just trying to save myself from Mel’s pyromaniac tendencies,” I say, finding my voice, even though the rest of me is still tense with anticipation. Wes’s mouth softens.
“I can’t believe you’re back,” he whispers, rubbing his hand on his brow in disbelief. The familiarity of his gesture skitters relief across my skin, chased by worry. He shouldn’t still cause this reaction in me.
“It’s been awhile,” I fumble out.
A blend of hurt and accusation flashes across his eyes. “A decade is more than awhile.”
I glare at my sister. “Well, it apparently hasn’t been a decade for some of us.”
Mel busies herself, studying the barbecue carefully. “We lost touch too. Mostly.”
“Right,” I say, trying to calm my breath down. I’m torn between flight, fight and combust. Wes switches his head between us, a small smile with dimples peeking through. For a moment I feel relieved, like I’ve just seen the sun shining through the clouds after a grey spring. “Why are you smiling?” I ask.
“Some things don’t change,” he says.
I scowl at Mel, but she smiles innocently, taking a step towards me. Her foot catches on a rock and she almost spills into the barbecue.
Automatically, I catch her and nudge her away. “As annoying as you are, I don’t want to serve charred sister for dinner.”
“Your loss,” Mel says in a singsong, raising her hands. “I’d be delicious, okay?”
Wes lets out a laugh and I feel myself sliding into an old camaraderie. I can’t have that.
“What are you doing here?” I open the barbecue and line the chicken onto the grill, watching the hiss of steam. “Wouldn’t now be a prime time for you to be off negotiating a big deal in London or something?”
The small smile on his face breaks into a grin. “You googled me.”
I take a brush dabbed in oil from the tray and paint over the meat. It sizzles in response, louder than my heartbeat. “I google everyone.”
“Sure you do,” he says, but there’s a thread of vulnerability there that makes me regret my cavalier response. I almost forget that he hasn’t answered my question.
“You’re right,” I say, as my sister looks swiftly between us. “I don’t.”
The silence lingers. Mel stands next to me, brushing me with her shoulder as if in apology, but I step away.
“Are your parents coming up this summer too? I mean your mom,” Wes says, clearing his throat. “I was so sorry to hear about your dad, Lia. Really.”
Hearing Wes’s condolences makes the loss raw again. I blink back the sudden tears that start to form behind my eyes.
His forehead creases with concern and he’s reaching for me like it’s his responsibility to comfort me, but then he freezes, as if considering how close he wants to get, like I’m a hot coal. My breath stills when he steps closer purposefully, clasping my hand in his in a reassuring squeeze. The warmth of his palm sears through me, jolting to my heart. “I wish I could have been there for you.” He looks at Mel. “For you both.”
I let out a choked laugh. He would have been the best and worst person to have there, in those hard moments that I still carry on my shoulders.
“Thanks.” I force myself to pull away from him. Something’s come undone in me. I’m so shaken by the contact that I cover up my feelings with logistics. “Don’t forget to set a timer for the meat, Mel. It was nice seeing you, Wes. Maybe I’ll see you around if you’re back during the summer.”
He clears his throat, shifting his eyes rapidly between Mel and me. He opens his mouth, but before he can speak Ciji emerges from the back door, dressed in a pair of black leggings and a crop top that looks like Mel’s. She even has a matching belly button ring. Next to her, I am extra frumpy. I haven’t felt this out of my element since I was in middle school.
“Are you done cooking the chicken?” Ciji asks. There’s smoke emanating from the barbecue. She cocks her hips. “Or are you ruining it?”
“We’re not,” I reassure her but give Mel a look. She quickly rotates the slightly burnt meat and I send a prayer to the heavens that it will still be edible.
“Sure you aren’t.” Ciji rolls her eyes, then bats her lashes. “Hey, Wesley.”
Shehla Auntie, wearing a loose sundress, steps out of the back door. She raises her hand in greeting and he waves back.
Wes pulls out his phone, creasing his forehead. “Looks like you have a team to monitor the barbecue, so I’ll be heading out.”
“Thanks again for agreeing to help this summer,” Shehla says, as she nears us. “You’re welcome to join us for dinner.” I quizzically glance at my sister. What is Wes helping with?
“Next time, I have dinner plans.” Wes’s pose is relaxed but there’s a stiffness in his neck that he can’t hide. He looks at me. “I’ll see you around.” I give him a noncommittal nod, busying myself with taking the meat off the grill and pretending like I don’t hear every soft step away from me until he’s gone. My tongs grate against the metal of the barbecue.
Mel brushes my shoulder tentatively. “You okay, Lia?”
My instinct is to lean into her comfort. But then I remember and step away from my sister, despite the cool breeze bringing goosebumps to my skin. “What is Wes helping with this summer?”
“He’s my math tutor.” Ciji twirls a lock of hair around her finger. There’s a dreamy quality to her voice, the way that she used to talk about Disney princes and princesses.
Shehla smiles at me. “Between you and Wesley, I know you’ve got things covered this summer.”
Ciji glowers. “I’d still rather come with you, Mom. It’s only math.”
“Beta, I wish you could too,” Shehla says patiently. “Spending some time with Lia will be good for you.”
“Will Dad at least be coming next weekend?” Ciji asks.
Shehla’s lips tilt downward. “Sorry, beta. He cancelled.”
“Sorry, girl.” Mel puts an arm on her shoulder as Ciji’s face falls. Ciji shrugs her off, stalking back into the cottage.
The door slams behind her and I wring my hands together. “Is there anything I can do?”
“She’s not upset at you, Lia.” Shehla sags. “I’ll go talk to her. Can you two set the table?” Shehla strides away, her walk purposeful but her shoulders curled in.
I turn back to Mel, my voice shattered. “Why is Wes tutoring this summer?”
“Listen, I knew you wouldn’t come if I said anything.” Mel shifts guiltily.
“What do you mean?”
She paces up and down the cobblestone path leading to the water. “You’re the one who told me to never mention him again. And I didn’t. I was just doing what you asked.” Mel turns to the bay, tension vibrating her shoulders. The evening breeze stirs the water into a latte froth.
It dawns on me. “You’re mad at me.”
“I’m not mad, necessarily.” Mel bites her lip, approaching me, curls splaying in the wind. “I’m…frustrated.”
I wait.
“You made me promise to not mention him to you. So I didn’t. But I lost one of my close friends too. I tried to come up this summer so you wouldn’t have to, but Mom didn’t want me to. And I couldn’t explain why you wouldn’t want to be here. Obviously.” Bitterness coats her tongue. “I don’t want to ruin your perfect image, after all. And now you’re acting like I did something wrong?”
“Well, what did you expect from me? I didn’t know he was going to be here. A warning would have been nice.” Annoyance presses my lips into a line.
“Can you keep an open mind? It’s been years. Whatever happened is irrelevant now. We’re adults, not teenagers with crushes.”
Heat comes to my cheeks, a mix of anger and sadness. Wes wasn’t just a crush, but I swallow it down. It doesn’t matter. “You’re right. He’s just someone I used to know.” Because he is. And I’ve thoroughly moved on. “Besides, I finally met a guy. And I think we might have a future.”
“The lawyer? Norah mentioned you were into someone at work?” Mel asks. I nod. “Well, I’d love to get to know him if you really think he’s someone special.” Her tone has a skeptical intonation that I choose to ignore.
“Maybe,” I reply. I mentally note to check in with Hassan later.
Mel turns back to the cottage, a tight smile on her face. “After all, nothing can rattle Perfect Lia,” she says, so quietly I almost miss it.