Chapter 10 13 Years Ago
CHAPTER 10
13 YEARS AGO
December
Lia: I am almost done with Romancing Mr. Bridgerton
Wes: The pining is painful
Lia: Why did you pick this one?
Wes: No reason. Just thought it was a classic
Lia: Oh Wes, I beseech thee! I pine for you!
Lia: JK lol
Next day
Lia: Hey you alive?
Lia: What are you doing for Xmas and NYE?
Wes: Going to a party with Andrea
Lia: Cool. And Jake?
Grade ten was the year I finally felt like I was becoming myself, at least when I was away from my parents’ hawkish eyes. My father was working constantly, having been promoted to accounting manager at Gold my father didn’t, as children were a gift from God). The snide comments about Mel’s sexuality had subsided when another one of my dad’s co-workers had gone on to her third divorce. “If you marry a woman,” my father had said to Mel, my mother staring aghast, “at least pick the right one the first time around.”
“You are nothing like those people,” my mother said. “Unlike them, you have parents who care to guide you towards right decisions.”
I suppressed an eye roll. “Exactly, Mom. Wes and I are just friends.” Her eyes narrowed and her shrewd inspection made the hair on the back of my neck rise. I forced myself to stay calm. Sometimes I hyperventilated if I thought about what would happen if my parents found out that Billy and I had made out.
“See, Tanaz, we’ve raised our daughter right,” my dad said proudly, turning back to his computer.
“Fine,” my mother said, crossing her arms. “Go on, then, with your job.”
“We trust you, Lia,” my father said, without turning around.
“Thanks, Dad.” A flare of guilt sparked through relief. But nothing was going to happen anyway. Wes was just a friend. I wasn’t lying about that.
Wes and Jake did landscaping for most of the street every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Tuesday and Thursday, Wes picked up morning shifts at the grocery store with his mother. After promising to Jake that I wouldn’t slow them down or scream if there were bugs, I joined the landscaping crew in the morning. The weed whacker and its long blades scared me, and I didn’t have the endurance to dig in the dirt, so Wes got me set up on the lawn mower. In addition to the twenty bucks’ cash, it was extra time I got to spend with Wes and it also got him home a couple hours earlier. Giving Wes some reprieve felt good.
The promise I’d made my mom weighed heavily on me. Wes and I could only ever be friends. Not that he wanted more, anyway.
On the occasions my mother passed us on her mid-morning walks, I would be sure to step a few extra feet away from Wes. He’d raise his eyebrows incredulously, looking at the distance I put between us before greeting my mother politely. When my mother suspiciously inquired about the unknown boy working with us, he introduced Jake, who told her that he was also hoping to become a lawyer. This response got a few oohs from my mother, and Wes frowned.
Sometimes Mel would come by to heckle us if we were doing a yard close to home. “They’re both hot,” Mel said admiringly one day from where we were standing under a tree drinking Gatorade. She’d started coming by more often after Andrea had kissed her as an experiment in the reference section of the library and then promptly rejected her. Mel had supposedly moved on. “Do you think Andrea would be jealous if I hit on her brother?”
Unlike my sister, who was freshly showered in a tight camisole and high-waisted jean shorts, I was unkempt in an old T-shirt and loose shorts, my hair its usual wild mane. “Do you just come here to ogle?”
“I cancelled my shift at the library. I have nothing else to do today.” There was a forced lightness to her tone. Maybe Andrea’s rejection had stung more than she let on.
Taking a sip of cherry-sweet Gatorade, I followed her gaze. Both Jake and Wes were sweaty from exertion, shirts clinging to their backs. Through the damp fabric, it was easy to see their muscles flex and relax as they clipped the hedges, faces stern in concentration.
Wes wiped his brow and looked up to the sun. Eventually, both Jake and Wes pulled off their shirts. They were both all golden skin, bodies carved from physical labour.
“They should wear sunscreen if they’re going to do that,” I said, trying to hide my leering stare by taking a sip of my drink.
Mel’s smile lit up. “That’s a great idea, let’s get them to rub it on each other.”
I recoiled, spilling down my front. The red mingled with the grass stains on my T-shirt. “What! No?”
But she was already digging in my pack, pulling out the Costco-sized sunscreen my mother had given me, and beelining over to the hedges the boys were trimming. I chased after her.
“Boys,” Mel called. “You want to be sure you have a nice glowing tan and not a sunburn. The ladies don’t like lobsters.” She waved the bottle at them.
Jake dropped his clippers with a soft thump, gaze roving over my sister. “And what do we have here?”
“Sunscreen,” she declared. “The two of you should rub it on each other.” She gestured to Wes. “So you don’t get burnt and all that.”
“Maybe you could rub it on me.” Jake leaned over Mel.
I inched closer to Wes. “Is this a monkey courtship ritual?” I murmured in Wes’s ear, keeping my attention towards Jake and my sister.
“Definitely,” he answered, following my gaze to Jake’s muscled shoulder and raising his eyebrows. “Like what you see?”
This was new, the dark bite of his voice that landed in my breastbone. I looked between Jake’s burnished body with his intentionally tousled hair and Wes, freckles blooming over his nose and unruly strands curling into his shadowed eyes. Was he jealous?
“Never mind,” he said, before I could answer.
I opened my mouth to say that I preferred him when my sister saved me from my lack of filter.
“Wes, get over here,” Mel hollered. “It’s time to rub your buddy down.”
Always a good sport, Wes opened his hands for sunscreen and slapped some on Jake’s back.
“That’s a shitty job, man.” Jake grinned playfully at my sister. “Bet you can do better.”
Taking the bait, my sister walked behind Jake, slowly applying the oily lotion. “You know I can,” she said, voice breathy.
Wes shrugged, applying the leftover sunscreen to his arms and chest, before failing to reach the span of his back.
“Do you want help?” I asked quietly.
Wordlessly, he smeared the rest of the sunscreen onto my hand and turned around. Carefully I rubbed the lotion in, my hands gliding on his warm skin, tracing a line between his freckles. He shivered. “Sorry, it’s cold,” I apologized, breathless. I wanted to map the constellations on his back.
His ears were red, so I rubbed in the residual sunscreen. He jerked when I reached the nape of his neck, skin hot under my touch. I forced a laugh to hide the tremble in my hands as I came to his front. Even though his eyes were serious when they met mine, his smile was in full force. I swiped the last remnant of sunscreen into his left dimple. “Got you.”
Later, while Jake and Wes cleared the weeds out front, my sister turned to me. “Jake’s fun, but there’s no spark.” She gave a wistful sigh. “Not the way there is with Andrea.”
“It’s too bad Andrea wasn’t here to see your show,” I said.
Mel deflated. “She would have been more jealous to see you and Wes than me and Jake.”
I ignored the heat creeping up my neck. The tone in my sister’s voice was flatter than usual.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“I feel stupid having wasted all my time with Andrea. And…”
“What?”
“I’m jealous of how easily you fit in here,” Mel said. Surprise washed over me. I’d never considered that Mel could feel out of place. Usually she was the social butterfly and I was the one hiding behind her wings.
“Whatever about Andrea. Her loss.” I nudged her, trying to channel her confidence. “Wes and Jake are your friends too. Didn’t you just make them lather on sunscreen?”
Mel pasted her cocky smile back on. “You’re right. Anyway, I’m going to head in.”
An hour later, I was helping move the yard waste to the front for pickup. On my way back from carrying another full bag, I heard my name and then stopped partway behind the side of the house. I peered around the wall. The guys were snipping overgrown branches of a deciduous tree.
“What happened with Andrea?” Jake’s voice carried over the breeze.
“What do you mean?” Wes replied. I wished I could see his face to get a better read on what he really thought. A motorboat passing on the bay muffled their murmuring.
When the buzzing faded, I heard Wes say, “We went out.”
“And after the party?” Jake’s voice wasn’t accusing, but there was an edge to it. “She said you guys had a moment?”
“We—” The motorboat turned back. When it cleared, I leaned against the wall, my heart sinking deeper in my chest. Wes and Andrea had been a thing. I almost didn’t hear what Jake said next over the roaring in my ears as I imagined the two of them together.
“So which of the Juma sisters should I ask out?” Jake pressed.
Wes took a long time to answer. “Whoever you want.”
A bolt of hurt shot through me. I steadied myself against the house. Friends, we were just friends, and kissing wasn’t as nice as it was in the books. Billy’s was wet and sloppy and he tasted faintly of all-dressed chips, even if he was conscientious enough to chew gum before. We’d managed to backtrack into a friendship, but there was a new awkwardness there now that I knew he wanted to touch my breasts.
It was better for Wes and me to stay friends, to not ruin our friendship with land mines like knowing how he tasted. Maybe he’d taste like sour cream and onions. The void in my chest made it hard to believe my lie.
I tried to erase the memory of my fingers gliding over the satin skin of his back. Of course he wanted someone like Andrea. Maybe all Wes felt for me was a reluctant attraction, the kind that any teenage boy would feel for a close friend that he saw often enough in a tank top.
A petty part of me couldn’t help itself, though. When I went back to collect more branches to cart to the front, I landed an extra-bright smile on Jake.
“Thanks, boys,” I trilled, channelling my sister. Wes shot me a look, but I pretended not to notice.